Lightyear? More like "Slight Sneer."

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Lightyear? More like "Slight Sneer."

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numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

its a very quick moment but in Up when the bad guys hench-dogs are pouring a glass of wine for the protagonist and they spill it everywhere cause they are dogs trying to pour a glass of wine is my favorite part

# ? Aug 11, 2022 19:54

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# ? May 7, 2024 23:55

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

The SFOAT

# ? Aug 11, 2022 19:54

Stuffguyman: Jun 3, 2007

Lightyear? Yeah, it's certainly a light year for movies that aren't complete trash!

# ? Aug 20, 2022 12:56

Chrs: Sep 21, 2015

Andy is one lame rear end kid if this was his favourite movie

# ? Aug 21, 2022 09:38

Drone_Fragger: May 9, 2007

Lightyear should of been an 80s style sci-fi shlockfest where he's flying to planets to essentially beat up bad aliens, and should of been very aware of itself and it's setting. The twist should of been buzz lightyear is actually the rookie and insanely incompetent and as a result manages to blags his way through any situation with his insane charisma or overconfidence, and everyone expected him to fail his mission.

Instead we got..... Whatever time travel nonsense garbage this is where apparantly space faring civilisations don't carry spares, or know how to reliably make space fuel. Also time travel because why not.

# ? Aug 21, 2022 10:10

thin blue whine: Feb 21, 2004; PLEASE SEE POLICY; Soiled Meat

Applewhite posted:

If Pixar set out to make a movie more pointless than Planes, it succeeded.

I thought it was impossible for a movie to matter less than the Warcraft movie but here we are. Lightyear may be the single least important cultural event of the 21st century.

The movie is so mediocre it's infuriating.

The movie starts off by framing itself as the movie the Buzz Lightyear toy from Toy Story was based on, including explicitly stating that the movie came out in 1995. The movie then proceeds to be nothing like anything that was or could have been released in 1995.

You want to know what would have been a good movie to make? A Pixar movie that tried to replicate with CGI what a sci-fi movie that came out in the 90's might have looked like. That would have been an interesting, even daring film concept. That would have been an artistic undertaking worthy of Pixar.

This movie doesn't even attempt to place itself in the future of the 90s.

Okay, whatever, at least it's a good movie, right? No. It's boring, safe, textureless schlock. Even the much-touted "controversial" same sex kiss was just a tepid, barely-there lesbian relationship that the movie swept past before it could even register.

You want to know what would have been a controversial same sex kiss? Fuckin' make Buzz gay. Have Buzz kiss a man on the lips and call him "sweetie" before going off on his mission. That would have been controversial.

Maybe I'm too hung up on what might have been, but this movie couldn't even hold my kids' attention and they'll watch anything with spaceships in it.

The movie wasn't even a passable pastiche of science fiction tropes. There were some Star Wars sound effects and the opening riffs on Alien for about 5 seconds but not enough of anything anywhere to even get a good nostalgia going.

I'd get into nitpicking the nonsensical plot (where was the rest of the human race during this 100 year interval? If the team goes to the Gamma quadrant won't they run into exactly the same time dilation problem that's been the sticking point the whole movie?) but frankly it doesn't even really matter.

I have no idea who this movie is even for. It's too bland even for children, and not nostalgic enough for the adults that would have been children when the original Toy Story came out.

0/10 stars. Go rewatch Turning Red instead. poo poo, go watch Planes for the first time instead.

tl;dr is so 20 years ago but...

# ? Aug 21, 2022 10:21

Beartaco: Apr 10, 2007; by sebmojo

Applewhite posted:

If anyone wants to see a more worthwhile adaptation of Buzz Lightear's adventures, go find a way to watch the criminally underrated Buzz Lightyear of Star Command animated tv series.

I dunno man, I was in the right age bracket at the time plus I loved Toy Story but there was nothing they could do to ever make me give a poo poo about the further adventures of Buzz Lightyear the not-toy. The theoretical shows that him and Woody were from were always supposed to be parodies. I never watched Toy Story and went "Oh man I want to watch Woody's Roundup for real!"

# ? Aug 21, 2022 10:39

Drone_Fragger: May 9, 2007

If they did a Woody's roundup it should be done spinal tap style and be a mockumentary into the rise and fall of it.

# ? Aug 21, 2022 11:23

Cyks: Mar 17, 2008; The trenches of IT can scar a muppet for life

The Wicked ZOGA posted:

I still need to watch the motherfucking animated SPiderman at some point

Afterwards you should watch The Mitchells vs. the Machines, another great animated movie that Lord and Miller produced. It even has a gay main character for OP.

# ? Aug 21, 2022 13:42

Powerful Katrinka: Oct 11, 2021; an admin fat fingered a permaban and all i got was this lousy av

Drone_Fragger posted:

should of

Should have, which can be shortened to "should've," which sounds like "should of"

# ? Aug 22, 2022 02:26

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

We already had a Buzz Lightyear prequel/toy movie and it was BUZZ LIGHTYEAR OF STAR COMMAND.

Imagine all the loving toys of Booster and Mira Nova.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 02:30

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# ? May 7, 2024 23:55

Szyznyk: Mar 4, 2008

Drone_Fragger posted:

Lightyear should of been an 80s style sci-fi shlockfest where he's flying to planets to essentially beat up bad aliens, and should of been very aware of itself and it's setting. The twist should of been buzz lightyear is actually the rookie and insanely incompetent and as a result manages to blags his way through any situation with his insane charisma or overconfidence, and everyone expected him to fail his mission.

Instead we got..... Whatever time travel nonsense garbage this is where apparantly space faring civilisations don't carry spares, or know how to reliably make space fuel. Also time travel because why not.

Isn�t that the plot of Galaxy Quest?

# ? Aug 22, 2022 02:35

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Lightyear? More like "Slight Sneer."

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