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OWN YOUR BONERS GENTLEMEN
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Aug 19, 2022 02:36
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Cuddle Bud Cuddle Cuddle Cuddle Bud Use the app Show the world you got a Cuddle Bud
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Aug 19, 2022 02:40
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Pennywise the Frown posted:I always smile when I think of the comic that some goon drew of that. das boo i think
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Aug 19, 2022 03:38
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Sid Vicious posted:das boo i think Yep! That woman is extremely talented.
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Aug 19, 2022 03:39
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Draw me like your French dressing
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Aug 19, 2022 03:39
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Did anybody else get a real hankering for lettuce covered in orange slime suddenly?
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Aug 19, 2022 03:40
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Haha whoops Meowww
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Aug 19, 2022 03:40
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Cuddling? As a paid service? You might as well go to a brothel for a kiss.
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Aug 19, 2022 11:31
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Bad Purchase posted:i bite down on styrofoam everyday to condition myself I will find you
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Aug 19, 2022 11:42
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Welcome, investors! This has been an exciting quarter, and I'm excited to share what's new and cuddly! As you all know, the long term goal of the Cuddle Buddy Corporation is to eventually replace all our workers with robots to maximize our profits. The robots don't need to be paid, they don't get bored of cuddling, the rape rates are way lower, and should the human want to talk to another human... We will soon add a premium love level to our subscriptions where the robot connects to our existing sex talk call center in New Delhi. And I know you're thinking "Whoa, wait! What if the customer actually doesn't want hardcore sex talk from the CuddleBot?". We've already got that covered baby! The call center workers now see on their screens which of our services are originating the call, and adjust horny level as necessary. The bad press from the mix up between the "Anal Fantasy Panda" and "Scruffy Loves You!" product lines will never happen again. Moving on, and heh, don't tell em', but the project to replace all the call center workers with "AI" is nearing completion. We saved a ton of money abandoning the plan to make a real AI, it was going to be a bit harder than we thought! So we pivoted and just made a list of comforting NOT sexual/threatening/illegal words like: - Cuddle - Mmm - Cuddle cuddle cuddle! - Mmmmmm - You smell nice! - Mm - I'm so happy! And our IT guy figured out some computer magic mumbo jumbo that just randomizes the order of the recorded CuddleWords to basically emulate what our valued saddest subscribers are looking for. On the technical side, the CuddleBot will only begin the say the CuddleWords after achieving positive target lock and a multi spectrum confirmation of the target's identity, blood type, and vitals, and that the CuddleArms are securely attached to the client. We don't want any penniless bums getting themselves a free cuddle accidentally! Also combined with the new waiver (that we got a -real- lawyer to write this time!) it should help us to reduce further costly legal issues. That's about it from me, thanks for coming to the meeting and your continued confidence and support! The Butcher fucked around with this message at 14:32 on Aug 19, 2022 |
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Aug 19, 2022 14:28
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Sophy Wackles posted:that feeling when you go to a cuddle party and everyone has a cuddle buddy but you
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Aug 19, 2022 14:32
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What's their policy on cuddle puddles?
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Aug 19, 2022 14:36
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Everything about it.
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Aug 19, 2022 14:38
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Could go for a cuddle
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Aug 19, 2022 20:07
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lol goons horrified at the thought of touching
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Aug 19, 2022 20:13
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I would prefer a frot friend (frottee, not frotteur). Where do I sign up for that?
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Aug 19, 2022 20:59
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we just do everything japan does except 15 years later with more self-loathing
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Aug 19, 2022 21:05
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karl pilkington did it. (cuddle party) can't time stamp at work, but it's around 2:00, but it's all worth it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhGs6slruSY
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Aug 19, 2022 21:45
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how much commissary food do I need to trade for a woman to cuddle me and say she's proud of me in a slightly motherly tone for ten minutes
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Aug 19, 2022 21:53
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snuggle session turns into struggle session
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Aug 19, 2022 22:04
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trying to remember the last time i actually had any non-incidental physical contact with a member of the opposite sex, i think it was my high school graduation in 2006, when a very nice girl that i never really ever talked with gave me a hug after i was walking back with my diploma im still not desperate enough yet to spend 200$ / hr on this poo poo
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Aug 19, 2022 22:09
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goddamn, spend the $200 imo
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Aug 19, 2022 22:10
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dsf posted:trying to remember the last time i actually had any non-incidental physical contact with a member of the opposite sex, i think it was my high school graduation in 2006, when a very nice girl that i never really ever talked with gave me a hug after i was walking back with my diploma https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6pP0YO8KGQ
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Aug 19, 2022 22:11
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Dang and I thought I was a dry spell!!!!!
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Aug 19, 2022 22:12
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Noblesse Obliged posted:snuggle session turns into struggle session nooooooooooooo
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Aug 19, 2022 22:14
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dsf posted:trying to remember the last time i actually had any non-incidental physical contact with a member of the opposite sex, i think it was my high school graduation in 2006, when a very nice girl that i never really ever talked with gave me a hug after i was walking back with my diploma You pay for it one way or another. Enjoy the peace and independance while you can. If one could buy a massage and cuddling from a woman, with guarateed no sex, for like $100-150 per hour I'd buy a session every month or two. Why the no sex guarantee? Because the other has been the ruin of many a poor boy. She'd have to do it clothed I guess or I'd get blue balls. BigBadSteve fucked around with this message at 22:24 on Aug 19, 2022 |
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Aug 19, 2022 22:22
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how much for the sex with a no cuddle guarantee?
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Aug 19, 2022 22:25
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BigBadSteve posted:You pay for it one way or another. But, why?
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Aug 19, 2022 22:26
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satanic splash-back posted:But, why? No why.
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Aug 19, 2022 22:38
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Who What Now posted:lol goons horrified at the thought of touching No no, you've got it backwards, you should be horrified of the thought of a goon touching you. They are not horrified. They are... motivated. Just keep your distance, wear appropriate running shoes, and stick with a buddy when passing near one of their lairs.
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Aug 19, 2022 22:56
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My usual rate is $200/hr, but for an extra $75 I’ll bring my dog with me. You’ll have no choice but to cuddle her as well, because she gets very jealous whenever someone pays me even the slightest amount of attention.
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Aug 20, 2022 01:30
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I tried to go to a cuddle party but when I got there they tried to soge n foge my dig
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Aug 20, 2022 02:25
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jesus is my cuddle buddy
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Aug 20, 2022 02:49
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I only cuddle when I can lambast my partner with farts that wash over them at just the right frequency to tickle as my body puckers and vibrates against theirs
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Aug 20, 2022 03:24
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Haha whoops meowwww
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Aug 20, 2022 03:25
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roomtone posted:we just do everything japan does except 15 years later with more self-loathing you're telling me host clubs are coming to north america soon? that's my dream job, drinking myself to death for free while pretending to flirt with people, seriously can't wait
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Aug 20, 2022 07:14
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Pac and Cheese posted:you're telling me host clubs are coming to north america soon? that's my dream job, drinking myself to death for free while pretending to flirt with people, seriously can't wait well you won't get the job pal, you'll be a customer
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Aug 20, 2022 07:19
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that's why it's my dream job
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Aug 20, 2022 07:19
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I was just thinking "hm, I could work as a male host" for guys or girls, I can be social and fun, then remembered what I look like. But I could do management or security at one of them host clubs if we bring that over though. As long as it's not a greasy sex thing. Now that I wrote that out, okay yeah, never mind.
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Aug 20, 2022 08:05
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| # ? May 5, 2024 20:57 |
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The Butcher posted:I was just thinking "hm, I could work as a male host" for guys or girls, I can be social and fun, then remembered what I look like. I get the feeling looks won't matter for the people actually using this service.
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Aug 20, 2022 14:09
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