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Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
scroat

:69snypa:

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Neophyte
Apr 23, 2006

perennially
Taco Defender

Burn Nicholas Cage as a sacrifice to Screamy! HE SHALL RETURN

its all nice on rice
Nov 12, 2006

Sweet, Salty Goodness.



Buglord

kntfkr posted:

what was that ship that teleported with the sailors in it and they were stuck in the hull and people believe this was a real thing

The Philadelphia.

Neophyte
Apr 23, 2006

perennially
Taco Defender
You know what I'm doin' when this is over? I'm puttin' into port, I'm gettin' off the ship, I'm puttin' an oar on my shoulder, and I'm startin' inland, and the first time a guy says to me: "What's that on your shoulder?" that's where I'm settlin' for the rest of my life.

Neophyte
Apr 23, 2006

perennially
Taco Defender
If You Really Miss Going To Sea
  1. Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain. Six hours after you go to sleep, have your spouse whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble "sorry, wrong rack."
  2. Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of your bathtub and move the shower head down to chest level. When you take showers, make sure you shut off the water while soaping up.
  3. Every time there's a thunderstorm, go sit in a wobbly rocking chair and rock as hard as you can until you're nauseous.
  4. Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it to "High."
  5. Leave lawnmower running in your living room six hours a day for proper noise level.
  6. Have the paperboy give you a haircut.
  7. Once a week blow compressed air up through your chimney, making sure the wind carries the soot across and onto your neighbor's house. Laugh at him when he curses you.
  8. Buy a trash compactor and only use it once a week. Store up garbage in the other side of your bathtub.
  9. Wake up every night at midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on stale bread, if anything. (Optional: Canned ravioli or cold soup.)
  10. Make up your family menu a week ahead of time without looking in your food cabinets or refrigerator.
  11. Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. When it goes off, jump out of bed and get dressed as fast as you can, then run out into your yard and break out the garden hose.
  12. Once a month take every major appliance completely apart and then put them back together.
  13. Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for 5 or 6 hours before drinking.
  14. Have a fluorescent lamp installed on the bottom of your coffee table and lie under it to read books.
  15. Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills on your front and back doors so that you either trip over the threshold or hit your head on the sill every time you pass through one of them.
  16. Lockwire the lugnuts on your car.
  17. When making cakes, prop up one side of the pan while it is baking. Then spread icing really thick on one side to level off the top.
  18. Every so often, throw your cat into the swimming pool, shout "Man overboard, ship recovery!", run into the kitchen and sweep all the pots/pans/dishes off of the counter onto the floor, then yell at your spouse for not having the place "stowed for sea."
  19. Put on the headphones from your stereo (don't plug them in). Go and stand in front of your stove. Say (to nobody in particular) "Stove manned and ready." Stand there for 3 or 4 minutes. Say (once again to nobody in particular) "Stove secured." Roll up the headphone cord and put them away.

Gomez Chamberlain
Mar 22, 2005

Subakh ul kuhar!

Neophyte posted:

If You Really Miss Going To Sea
  1. Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain. Six hours after you go to sleep, have your spouse whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble "sorry, wrong rack."
  2. Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of your bathtub and move the shower head down to chest level. When you take showers, make sure you shut off the water while soaping up.
  3. Every time there's a thunderstorm, go sit in a wobbly rocking chair and rock as hard as you can until you're nauseous.
  4. Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it to "High."
  5. Leave lawnmower running in your living room six hours a day for proper noise level.
  6. Have the paperboy give you a haircut.
  7. Once a week blow compressed air up through your chimney, making sure the wind carries the soot across and onto your neighbor's house. Laugh at him when he curses you.
  8. Buy a trash compactor and only use it once a week. Store up garbage in the other side of your bathtub.
  9. Wake up every night at midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on stale bread, if anything. (Optional: Canned ravioli or cold soup.)
  10. Make up your family menu a week ahead of time without looking in your food cabinets or refrigerator.
  11. Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. When it goes off, jump out of bed and get dressed as fast as you can, then run out into your yard and break out the garden hose.
  12. Once a month take every major appliance completely apart and then put them back together.
  13. Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for 5 or 6 hours before drinking.
  14. Have a fluorescent lamp installed on the bottom of your coffee table and lie under it to read books.
  15. Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills on your front and back doors so that you either trip over the threshold or hit your head on the sill every time you pass through one of them.
  16. Lockwire the lugnuts on your car.
  17. When making cakes, prop up one side of the pan while it is baking. Then spread icing really thick on one side to level off the top.
  18. Every so often, throw your cat into the swimming pool, shout "Man overboard, ship recovery!", run into the kitchen and sweep all the pots/pans/dishes off of the counter onto the floor, then yell at your spouse for not having the place "stowed for sea."
  19. Put on the headphones from your stereo (don't plug them in). Go and stand in front of your stove. Say (to nobody in particular) "Stove manned and ready." Stand there for 3 or 4 minutes. Say (once again to nobody in particular) "Stove secured." Roll up the headphone cord and put them away.

This person marinates.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
That's work. I want a boat for chill.

Fat Dan
Jul 10, 2022

HELLO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzgQoGvSKA4

Fantastic percussionist (other than the drummer) in this band, great use of the triangle.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
The problem with being a boat person is that it associates you with hateful groups like seasteaders, superyacht owners and navies. The cool kids in the Somali pirates don't want to know you either.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
If you become a pirate you can do what you want cause pirates are free

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
Using my houseboat to steal 40 footers off container ships.

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


goatface posted:

The problem with being a boat person is that it associates you with hateful groups like seasteaders, superyacht owners and navies. The cool kids in the Somali pirates don't want to know you either.

buy some cannons and engage in naval combat with the superyachts duh

dot communist
Mar 28, 2005

Devils Affricate posted:

Jet skis should have been called boatercycles :colbert:

You're not wrong, and I will be calling them this from now on

WithoutTheFezOn
Aug 28, 2005
Oh no

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Baby you can sail my boat
If you want to be the GOAT.

Haptical Sales Slut
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49
where are the boats

Wifi Toilet
Oct 1, 2004

Toilet Rascal

Nuts and Gum posted:

where are the boats

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IjuSycXjqM

(I don’t know why, but his recording studio always kinda made me think he was on a boat)

Haptical Sales Slut
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49

Wifi Toilet posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IjuSycXjqM

(I don’t know why, but his recording studio always kinda made me think he was on a boat)
100% butthole boat energy

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k
Boat are like fish but we build em instead of breed em




Life is funny like that

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


Nuts and Gum posted:

where are the boats

On the water

hot cocoa on the couch
Dec 8, 2009


yup...... read tha fuckin oP

Valko
Sep 18, 2015














Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Vikings were weebs?!?

Valko
Sep 18, 2015

Colonel Cancer posted:

Vikings were weebs?!?

Kweeb or Koreaboo is the word you are looking for.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turtle_ship

SPACE HOMOS
Jan 12, 2005

Neophyte posted:

If You Really Miss Going To Sea


There is nothing wrong with some hotdogs and rice at midnight, I say while I sweep water off the nonskid.

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Bula Vinaka
Oct 21, 2020

beach side
I'm the guy who corrects people who call yachts boats.

i.e.,

"Nice boat."

"It's a yacht."

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