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Okibi
Jul 13, 2004

A shadowy flight into the ridiculous world of a man whose music should not exist
Grimey Drawer
LAC - Justin Herbert - Passing Yards
SEA - Geno Smith - Passing Yards
DAL - Cooper Rush - Passing Yards
JAX - James Robinson - Rushing Yards

LSG#: LV - Mack Hollins - Receiving Yards

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Hizawk
Jun 18, 2004

High on the Lions.

Week 5 - Detroit Motherfucking Lions

DET - Jared Goff - Passing Yards
DET - Jared Goff - Rushing Yards
DET - Nate Sudfeld - Passing Yards
DET - Nate Sudfeld - Rushing Yards
DET - Craig Reynolds - Rushing Yards
DET - Craig Reynolds - Receiving Yards
DET - D'Andre Swift - Rushing Yards
DET - D'Andre Swift - Receiving Yards
DET - Jamaal Williams - Rushing Yards
DET - Jamaal Williams - Receiving Yards
DET - Justin Jackson - Rushing Yards
DET - Justin Jsckson - Receiving Yards
DET - T. J. Hockenson - Receiving Yards
DET - Brock Wright - Receiving Yards
DET - Shane Zylstra - Receiving Yards
DET - James Mitchell - Receiving Yards
DET - Quintez Cephus - Receiving Yards
DET - DJ Chark - Receiving Yards
DET - DJ Chark - Rushing Yards
DET - Kalif Raymond - Receiving Yards
DET - Kalif Raymond - Rushing Yards
DET - Josh Reynolds - Receiving Yards
DET - Amon-ra St. Brown - Receiving Yards
DET - Amon-ra St. Brown - Rushing Yards
DET - Tom Kennedy - Receiving Yards
DET - Tom Kennedy - Rushing Yards
DET - Jack Fox - Passing Yards
DET - Jack Fox - Rushing Yards
DET - Scott Daly - Passing Yards

LSG#: KC - Travis Kelce - Receiving Yards

totally losing my mime
Aug 3, 2012

The quiet can scrape
All the calm from your bones.
But maybe it should.
Maybe we need to be hollowed
To get up and grow,
And stop fucking around,
To kick off our braces and start straightening out
Fun Shoe
Week 5: Junior League Football

MIN - Irv Smith - Receiving Yards
NO - Mark Ingram - Rushing Yards
MIA - Cedrick Wilson - Receiving Yards
TB - Tom Brady - Passing Yards
TEN - Robert Woods - Receiving Yards
SF - Jeff Wilson - Rushing Yards
LAR - Allen Robinson - Receiving Yards
BAL - Lamar Jackson - Passing Yards

LSG#: KC - Patrick Mahomes - Passing Yards

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!
MIN - Kirk Cousins - Passing yards
BAL - Lamar Jackson - Passing yards
CLE - Nick Chubb - Rushing yards
WAS - Terry McLaurin - Receiving yards
TB - Mike Evans - Receiving yards

LSG#: KC - Travis Kelce - Receiving yards

WaffleZombie
May 10, 2003

"Identity Crisis" Murderer Wild Guess #333:Prince "Lady Killer Charming "Well, I AM the Adversa"



Week 5

CHI - Justin Fields - Passing Yards
PHL - Jalen Hurts - Passing Yards
PIT - Kenny Pickett - Passing Yards
NE - Baily Zappe - Passing Yards

LSG#: KC - Travis Kelce - Receiving Yards

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal
LAC - Justin Herbert - passing yards
JAX - Trevor Lawrence - passing yards
MIN - Kirk Cousins - passing yards

LSG# - LV - Darren Waller - receiving yards

bobjr
Oct 16, 2012

Roose is loose.
🐓🐓🐓✊🪧

BAL - Lamar Jackson - Passing Yards
SF - Jimmy Garoppolo - Passing Yards

LSG#: KC - Patrick Mahomes - Passing Yards

Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


CAR - Baker Mayfield - Rushing yards
PHI - Jalen Hurts - Passing yards
BAL - Lamar Jackson - Passing yards
BAL - Lamar Jackson - Rushing yards

LSG#: KC - Patrick Mahomes - Passing yards

Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


The prelim MNF report is below. Looks like WaffleZombie is best placed for a top finish this week, although Kelce is certainly capable of accumulating more than 38 yards.

Also very clear that Derek Carr gets no respect

pre:
Darren Waller - Receiving           | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
Arnold Layne                        | 171
seiferguy                           | 190
Kevino07                            | 483

Mack Hollins - Receiving            | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
Okibi                               | 375

Patrick Mahomes - Passing           | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
totally losing my mime              | 228
Bjork Bjowlob                       | 529
bobjr                               | 573

Travis Kelce - Receiving            | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
WaffleZombie                        |  38
Grittybeard                         | 239
Aggro                               | 337
Hizawk                              | 441

Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


Still time to get in a Monday Night Special entry prior to LV @ KC kicking off! Greg Jennings is more than ready to put the team on his back for anyone hoping to get into the top 10 with a single spectacular player performance, and the token is refunded if you hit top 5 - roll the dice!

Blowjob Overtime
Apr 6, 2008

Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!

OK, fine.

LSG#: KC - Patrick Mahomes - Passing Yards

Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


Blowjob Overtime posted:

OK, fine.

LSG#: KC - Patrick Mahomes - Passing Yards



:hellyeah: good luck!

Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


Just had a peek at the box score for LV @ KC, and it does not look good for anyone relying on Mahomes for a big yardage total, yikes

WaffleZombie
May 10, 2003

"Identity Crisis" Murderer Wild Guess #333:Prince "Lady Killer Charming "Well, I AM the Adversa"



Bjork Bjowlob posted:

The prelim MNF report is below. Looks like WaffleZombie is best placed for a top finish this week, although Kelce is certainly capable of accumulating more than 38 yards.

loving lol, 4 TDs, but only 25 yards.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

WaffleZombie posted:

loving lol, 4 TDs, but only 25 yards.

Ha, I was going to post that I won't get the top score but I bet I beat WaffleZombie this week. Shame on me and it worked out just as you drew it up I guess.

Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


Week 5 results! WaffleZombie got real lucky with Kelce only going for 25 yards leading to the top score of the week, and Mahomes had a surprising second quarter which pulled Blowjob Overtime into the top 10 (in combination with the Jennings multiplier), although not enough for top 5 so no token refund.

pre:
Player                    Total Yards Ranking Points Bonus Total Points Notes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WaffleZombie                      987      1      12     0          12 
Arnold Layne                      829      2      11     0          11 
seiferguy                         810      3      10     0          10 
Grittybeard                       786      4       9     0           9 
Bjork Bjowlob                     763      5       8     0           8 
bobjr                             719      6       7     0           7 
Aggro                             688      7       6     0           6 
Okibi                             625      8       5     0           5 
Hizawk                            584      9       4     0           4 
Blowjob Overtime                  584     10       3     0           3 Activated Jennings token
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kevino07                          517     11       2     0           2 
totally losing my mime           1064     12       1     0           1 

Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


Scores for Week 1 - 4 have been updated to fix some scoring issues. The main beneficiaries are WaffleZombie and Fenrir, with additional correctly-matched players adding to their weekly scores. Apart from some spot checks to ensure there's no double-counting of yards (happened a couple of times last year) the scores for weeks 1 - 5 are final, so the standings will be updated shortly.

Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


WEEK 6

Special rules for this week

No theme or special rules for this week.

Schedule

On bye this week
DET, HOU, LV, TEN

TNF
WAS @ CHI

Sunday Early
SF @ ATL
NE @ CLE
NYJ @ GB
JAX @ IND
MIN @ MIA
CIN @ NO
BAL @ NYG
TB @ PIT

Sunday Late
CAR @ LA
ARI @ SEA
BUF @ KC

SNF
DAL @ PHI

MNF
DEN @ LAC (<-- your LSG number has to come from this game)


Standings coming into this week
pre:
Player                    Overall Rank |   RegWk1  RegWk2  RegWk3  RegWk4  RegWk5
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WaffleZombie                   52    1 |       10       7      13      10      12 
Okibi                          50    2 |       12      15      12       6       5 
Arnold Layne                   48    3 |       15       8       9       5      11 
seiferguy                      47    4 |       18      10       2       7      10 
totally losing my mime         40    5 |       16      14       8       1       1 
bobjr                          39    6 |        6      12       6       8       7 
Hizawk                         38    7 |        7      13      11       3       4 
barnold                        37    8 |       17       5       3      12       - 
Grittybeard                    33    9 |        2      11       7       4       9 
Aggro                          32   10 |        8       4       5       9       6 
Blowjob Overtime               29   11 |       11       1      14       -       3 
Kevino07                       28   12 |        5       9       1      11       2 
Acebuckeye13                   27   13 |       13       2      10       2       - 
Fenrir                         14   14 |       14       -       -       -       - 
Elephanthead                   13   15 |        9       -       4       -       - 
Bjork Bjowlob                  11   16 |        3       -       -       -       8 
Relentlessboredomm             10   17 |        4       6       -       -       - 
Apples McGrind                  3   18 |        -       3       -       -       - 
Leperflesh                      1   19 |        1       -       -       -       - 
MNF report

pre:
Courtland Sutton - Receiving        | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
Okibi                               | 162
Grittybeard                         | 187
Aggro                               | 204

Gerald Everett - Receiving          | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
Arnold Layne                        | 359
Blowjob Overtime                    | 479

Jerry Jeudy - Receiving             | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
seiferguy                           | 319

Justin Herbert - Passing            | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
bobjr                               | 417
totally losing my mime              | 428
Kevino07                            | 442
Bjork Bjowlob                       | 1000

Melvin Gordon - Rushing             | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
WaffleZombie                        | 447

Russel Wilson - Passing             | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
Hizawk                              | 726
Final scores for this week

pre:
Player                    Total Yards Ranking Points Bonus Total Points Notes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okibi                             852      1      12     0          12 
Grittybeard                       827      2      11     0          11 
bobjr                             821      3      10     0          10 
Aggro                             810      4       9     0           9 
totally losing my mime            810      5       8     0           8 
Kevino07                          796      6       7     0           7 
seiferguy                         735      7       6     0           6 
Arnold Layne                      670      8       5     0           5 
WaffleZombie                      561      9       4     0           4 
Blowjob Overtime                  550     10       3     0           3 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bjork Bjowlob                     476     11       2     0           2 Activated Jennings token
Hizawk                            462     12       1     0           1 
Standings at the end of this week
pre:
Player                    Overall Rank |   RegWk1  RegWk2  RegWk3  RegWk4  RegWk5  RegWk6
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okibi                          62    1 |       12      15      12       6       5      12 
WaffleZombie                   56    2 |       10       7      13      10      12       4 
Arnold Layne                   53    3 |       15       8       9       5      11       5 
seiferguy                      53    3 |       18      10       2       7      10       6 
bobjr                          49    5 |        6      12       6       8       7      10 
totally losing my mime         48    6 |       16      14       8       1       1       8 
Grittybeard                    44    7 |        2      11       7       4       9      11 
Aggro                          41    8 |        8       4       5       9       6       9 
Hizawk                         39    9 |        7      13      11       3       4       1 
barnold                        37   10 |       17       5       3      12       -       - 
Kevino07                       35   11 |        5       9       1      11       2       7 
Blowjob Overtime               32   12 |       11       1      14       -       3       3 
Acebuckeye13                   27   13 |       13       2      10       2       -       - 
Fenrir                         14   14 |       14       -       -       -       -       - 
Bjork Bjowlob                  13   15 |        3       -       -       -       8       2 
Elephanthead                   13   15 |        9       -       4       -       -       - 
Relentlessboredomm             10   17 |        4       6       -       -       -       - 
Apples McGrind                  3   18 |        -       3       -       -       -       - 
Leperflesh                      1   19 |        1       -       -       -       -       - 

Bjork Bjowlob fucked around with this message at 20:19 on Jan 14, 2023

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

I have exactly 1 point for the whole season right now and I kinda feel like standing pat there, it's the funniest possible outcome. Especially since it's going bust by a fairly small amount with a joke roster I made no attempt to actually estimate yards for.

Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


Leperflesh posted:

I have exactly 1 point for the whole season right now and I kinda feel like standing pat there, it's the funniest possible outcome. Especially since it's going bust by a fairly small amount with a joke roster I made no attempt to actually estimate yards for.

Angling for that wildcard run through the playoffs, respect :respek:

Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


Weeks 1 - 5 are now final, so the overall standings have been updated (see below). These standings - plus a number of other interesting stats/leaderboards - can be found in the season summary post, along with links to all the individual weekly summary posts.

I want to call specific attention to Kevino07 who suffered a heartbreaking bust of 1001 yards back in Week 3. Our sympathies fellow 1KYOBer :smith::respek::smith:

pre:
Player                    Overall Rank |   RegWk1  RegWk2  RegWk3  RegWk4  RegWk5
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WaffleZombie                   52    1 |       10       7      13      10      12 
Okibi                          50    2 |       12      15      12       6       5 
Arnold Layne                   48    3 |       15       8       9       5      11 
seiferguy                      47    4 |       18      10       2       7      10 
totally losing my mime         40    5 |       16      14       8       1       1 
bobjr                          39    6 |        6      12       6       8       7 
Hizawk                         38    7 |        7      13      11       3       4 
barnold                        37    8 |       17       5       3      12       - 
Grittybeard                    33    9 |        2      11       7       4       9 
Aggro                          32   10 |        8       4       5       9       6 
Blowjob Overtime               29   11 |       11       1      14       -       3 
Kevino07                       28   12 |        5       9       1      11       2 
Acebuckeye13                   27   13 |       13       2      10       2       - 
Fenrir                         14   14 |       14       -       -       -       - 
Elephanthead                   13   15 |        9       -       4       -       - 
Bjork Bjowlob                  11   16 |        3       -       -       -       8 
Relentlessboredomm             10   17 |        4       6       -       -       - 
Apples McGrind                  3   18 |        -       3       -       -       - 
Leperflesh                      1   19 |        1       -       -       -       - 

Arnold Layne
Nov 4, 2008

GB - Aaron Rodgers - Passing Yards
ARI - Kyler Murray - Passing Yards
NYG - Daniel Jones - Passing Yards

LSG#: LAC - Gerald Everett - Receiving Yards

Aggro
Apr 24, 2003

STRONG as an OX and TWICE as SMART
CIN - Joe Burrow - Passing Yards
GB - Aaron Rodgers - Passing Yards
NYG - Saquon Barkley - Rushing Yards
PIT - Najee Harris - Rushing Yards
DAL - Ezekiel Elliott - Rushing Yards
DAL - Tony Pollard - Rushing Yards
LSG#: DEN - Courtland Sutton - Receiving Yards

totally losing my mime
Aug 3, 2012

The quiet can scrape
All the calm from your bones.
But maybe it should.
Maybe we need to be hollowed
To get up and grow,
And stop fucking around,
To kick off our braces and start straightening out
Fun Shoe
Week 6: Our Quarterback Has Two First Names

TB - Tom Brady - Passing Yards
BUF - Josh Allen - Passing Yards

LSG#: LAC - Justin Herbert - Passing Yards

Okibi
Jul 13, 2004

A shadowy flight into the ridiculous world of a man whose music should not exist
Grimey Drawer
ARI - Kyler Murray - Passing Yards
BUF - Josh Allen - Passing Yards
MIN - Justin Jefferson - Receiving Yards
NO - Alvin Kamara - Rushing Yards
DAL - Ezekiel Elliott - Rushing Yards

LSG#: DEN - Courtland Sutton - Receiving Yards

Kevino07
Oct 16, 2008
TB - Tom Brady - Passing Yards
NYG - Daniel Jones - Passing Yards
CLE - Nick Chubb - Rushing Yards
JAC - Travis Etienne - Rushing Yards

LSG#: LAC - Justin Herbert - Passing Yards

WaffleZombie
May 10, 2003

"Identity Crisis" Murderer Wild Guess #333:Prince "Lady Killer Charming "Well, I AM the Adversa"



Wait, I'm in first place? Those results are clearly wrong.

Ooooh, lot's of lovely backups to pick from this week!

MIA - Skylar Thompson - Passing Yards
PHL - Jalen Hurts - Passing Yards
CAR - P.J. Walker
NE - Baily Zappe - Passing Yards

LSG#: DEN - Melvin Gordon - Rushing Yards

Hizawk
Jun 18, 2004

High on the Lions.

Former Detroit Motherfucking Lions

LAR - Matthew Stafford - Passing Yards
LAR - Matthew Stafford - Rushing Yards
JAX - Marvin Jones - Receiving Yards
JAX - Marvin Jones - Rushing Yards
JAX - Jamaal Agnew - Receiving Yards
JAX - Jamaal Agnew - Rushing Yards
LV - Ameer Abdullah - Rushing Yards
LV - Ameer Abdullah - Receiving Yards

LSG# DEN - Russel Wilson - Passing Yards

bobjr
Oct 16, 2012

Roose is loose.
🐓🐓🐓✊🪧

BUF - Josh Allen - Passing Yards
NYG - Daniel Jones - Passing Yards
DAL - Ezekiel Elliott - Rushing Yards

LSG#: LAC - Justin Herbert - Passing Yards

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal
Oops, better get in on the late games:

BUF - Josh Allen - passing yards
SEA - Geno Smith - passing yards
PHI - Jalen Hurts - passing yards

LSG#: DEN - Jerry Jeudy - receiving yards

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!
Lazy late game list:

LAR - Matt Stafford - Passing yards
KC - Patrick Mahomes - Passing yards
ARI - Kyler Murray - Passing yards

LSG#: DEN - Courtland Sutton - Receiving yards

Blowjob Overtime
Apr 6, 2008

Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!

Lazy late late game list:

PHI - Jalen Hurts - Passing Yards
PHI - Jalen Hurts - Rushing Yards
PHI - Miles Sanders - Rushing Yards
PHI - Miles Sanders - Receiving Yards
DAL - Cooper Rush - Passing Yards
DAL - Cooper Rush - Rushing Yards
DAL - Ezekiel Elliott - Rushing Yards
DAL - Ezekial Elliott - Receiving Yards

LSG#: LAC - Gerald Everett - Receiving Yards

WaffleZombie
May 10, 2003

"Identity Crisis" Murderer Wild Guess #333:Prince "Lady Killer Charming "Well, I AM the Adversa"



WaffleZombie posted:

Wait, I'm in first place? Those results are clearly wrong.

Ooooh, lot's of lovely backups to pick from this week!

MIA - Skylar Thompson - Passing Yards
PHL - Jalen Hurts - Passing Yards
CAR - P.J. Walker
NE - Baily Zappe - Passing Yards

LSG#: DEN - Melvin Gordon - Rushing Yards

Whoops, just saw I forgot to put passing yards there for Walker. Oh well, it was just 60 yards anyway.

Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


Last minute entry - gonna go for it with the Jennings and Genius tokens here!

LSG#: LAC - Justin Herbert - Passing yards



Arnold Layne
Nov 4, 2008

Week 7

TB - Tom Brady - Passing Yards
LAC - Justin Herbert - Passing Yards
CIN - Joe Burrow - Passing Yards

LSG#: NE - Jonnu Smith - Receiving Yards

Okibi
Jul 13, 2004

A shadowy flight into the ridiculous world of a man whose music should not exist
Grimey Drawer
Week 7

CIN - Joe Burrow - Passing Yards
BAL - Lamar Jackson - Passing Yards
SF - George Kittle - Receiving Yards
MIA - Tyreek Hill - Receiving Yards
DAL - Tony Pollard - Rushing Yards
SEA - Kenneth Walker III - Rushing Yards

LSG#: NE - Jakobi Meyers - Receiving Yards

bobjr
Oct 16, 2012

Roose is loose.
🐓🐓🐓✊🪧

CIN - Joe Burrow - Passing Yards
NYG - Daniel Jones - Passing Yards
TB - Tom Brady - Passing Yards

LSG#: NE - Jonnu Smith - Receiving Yards

Hizawk
Jun 18, 2004

High on the Lions.

Week 7 - Detroit Motherfucking Lions

DET - Jared Goff - Passing Yards
DET - Jared Goff - Rushing Yards
DET - Nate Sudfeld - Passing Yards
DET - Nate Sudfeld - Rushing Yards
DET - Craig Reynolds - Rushing Yards
DET - Craig Reynolds - Receiving Yards
DET - D'Andre Swift - Rushing Yards
DET - D'Andre Swift - Receiving Yards
DET - Jamaal Williams - Rushing Yards
DET - Jamaal Williams - Receiving Yards
DET - Justin Jackson - Rushing Yards
DET - Justin Jsckson - Receiving Yards
DET - T. J. Hockenson - Receiving Yards
DET - Brock Wright - Receiving Yards
DET - James Mitchell - Receiving Yards
DET - Kalif Raymond - Receiving Yards
DET - Kalif Raymond - Rushing Yards
DET - Josh Reynolds - Receiving Yards
DET - Josh Reynolds - Rushing Yards
DET - Amon-ra St. Brown - Receiving Yards
DET - Amon-ra St. Brown - Rushing Yards
DET - Tom Kennedy - Receiving Yards
DET - Tom Kennedy - Rushing Yards
DET - Maurice Alexander - Receiving Yards
DET - Maurice Alexander - Rushing Yards
DET - Brandon Zylstra - Receiving Yards
DET - Jack Fox - Passing Yards
DET - Jack Fox - Rushing Yards
DET - Scott Daly - Passing Yards


LSG#: CHI - Justin Fields - Passing Yards

Blowjob Overtime
Apr 6, 2008

Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!

DET - Jared Goff - Passing Yards
KC - Patrick Mahomes - Passing Yards
LV - Derek Carr - Passing Yards
PIT - Najee Harris - Rushing Yards

LSG#: NE - Jakobi Meyers - Receiving Yards

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totally losing my mime
Aug 3, 2012

The quiet can scrape
All the calm from your bones.
But maybe it should.
Maybe we need to be hollowed
To get up and grow,
And stop fucking around,
To kick off our braces and start straightening out
Fun Shoe
Week 7: The Return of the Mac (and Others)

DAL - Dak Prescott - Passing Yards
MIA - Tua Tagovailoa - Passing Yards

LSG#: NE - Mac Jones - Passing Yards

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