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Nameless Pete posted:History teacher marches us into class one day, locks the doors, closes the blinds, and starts yelling. "Someone has written some DISGUSTING, SLANDEROUS graffiti about me and I am going to find out who loving did it." He passes out slips of paper to the entire class and tells us to write down where we were the previous night, as well as a list of our five closest friends. Dude was massive and furious and scared the class into cooperating. My history teacher was this sweet, dodering old guy who managed to lock himself in a cupboard once. He lectured rather than taught and used slides that must have dated from the early 60s in the late 90s. Younger classes would get bored and go crazy, but I kind of liked his sleepy, nerd vibe. Anyway, a friend and I broke into hysterics when he was talking about WW2, had a Freudian slip and referred to the Nazis as "milkmen" and he got really embarrassed and apologised to us personally.
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May 5, 2023 13:45
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Disco Pope posted:My history teacher was this sweet, dodering old guy who managed to lock himself in a cupboard once. He lectured rather than taught and used slides that must have dated from the early 60s in the late 90s. Younger classes would get bored and go crazy, but I kind of liked his sleepy, nerd vibe. Was there a similar word he was trying to say that got replaced by milkmen, or was it completely out of left field?
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May 5, 2023 13:57
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Pirate Radar posted:Was there a similar word he was trying to say that got replaced by milkmen, or was it completely out of left field? My theory was he just had this stuff down rote, but internally was thinking "poo poo, did I pay the milkman this morning?" or something.
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May 5, 2023 14:10
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Jesus, the edgiest thing I did for a history lesson was when I was on practicum and doing a lesson on women's suffrage. I started the lesson with a vote on uniforms. The boys would put their votes in one box, and the girls in another. Once all the votes were in, I just went "sorry ladies," and tipped the box with their votes into a bin. Anyway, there were a few incidents at the previous school I taught at - I was involved in one of them. First incident involved a girl who turned up to class (Geography, I think). It turns out her water bottle didn't have water in it, but booze. Since it was a school in a low income area, it was probably some cheap hooch. She basically got super antagonistic towards the teacher, apparently calling her a "white bitch" among other things. Dean and Deputy Principal were called in, and she was taken to the Deputy Principal's office. Since she was apparently drunk as gently caress, the DP told her he was going to have to call home, at which point she freaked the gently caress out, punched him and ran off. It wasn't hard to find her, since she was standing in the middle of the quad shouting and screaming and poo poo and this and that. Interval starts and the kids in the English department are obviously oblivious to any of these goings on, and start moseying over to the main quad, where there's a drunken angry girl ranting at them. They all basically keep their distance, as soon as word goes out that she was also willing to throw hands. I guess no one wanted any part of that on that particular day. Eventually, the cops are called, they collect her, and she was suspended from school, which was upgraded to an expulsion. I occasionally wonder what she's up to now. There was also an incident that happened before I got to the school. The field at the back had a massive high tension electrical wire (poor brown kids, so who gives a gently caress about them, right?). Apparently school had to be called off early because someone noticed something hanging from it, and it turned out to be some lady. She'd apparently snuck in over the fence during the day, climbed up and hanged herself. One of the new teachers used to be a student at the school, and she and my head of department were reminiscing about it at a faculty meeting one day. On an athletics day, a kid in one of my classes chose to ditch school. That in itself was no big deal. What made it "the incident" for that school term was that he and one of his buddies chose to grab a high powered air rifle and just started taking potshots from the street. One of the kids, the starting openside flanker in the school second XV that I was the assistant coach of got hit in the hand, and they had to cut the BB out from the other side. He said it "hurt like gently caress," and I believe him. He had a pretty gnarly scar. Another teacher who was seated while supervising and timing the 100m dash got shot in the back and it knocked him off his seat. He was a pretty big, muscular guy too. Anyway, that kid got expelled immeidately. Apparently there weren't many schools in the city that were willing to take him in. I reported one senior student who kept harassing a few kids in one of my classes. They were pretty shook up, because apparently he threatened to rape one of them. Naturally, I reported this, and he was immediately removed from the school. Apparently it was a "last straw" situation, as everyone was sick of his poo poo. The incident I was involved in was me kicking a student out of one of my English classes permanently. I have no idea why, but my classes tended to attract a lot of LGBT kids for some reason. I honestly haven't the faintest idea why. Hell, at one point, two girls I taught in different years apparently hooked up at the school ball and ended up getting married immediately after they finished high school. So, this one class had a masculine-presenting non-binary gender-fluid student, who also happened to be in my form class. So basically, they're my boy (they were afab, but preferred male pronouns at the time) and because he's in my form class, no one gets to abuse any of those little shitheads. Anyway, there was a chud dickhead in the class, like a little wannabe Andrew Tate. Real edgelord poo poo. You probably know the type. Constantly trying to be "provocative." Like, one period, knowing there were loads of LGBT kids in the class, he insisted homosexuality was a choice, that sort of thing. I shut that poo poo down pretty quickly each time, although that day, because I was getting tired of his poo poo, I just told him to either prove it, or pipe the hell down. Anyway, he decided he had a real problem with the genderfluid masc-presenting kid, and as he approached my desk with an assessment, since genderfluid kid usually sat near me, he made sure to stop by their desk and say "how dare you play at being a man, you muscled-up human being dyke oval office." (spoilered because yeah) I immediately saw red, and told him to "get the gently caress out of my room." I also told him to go be an edgelord somewhere else, because I was done putting up with his bullshit. I was on my way out of that school anyway, but it ended up becoming "the incident." Usually, I'd have been hauled into either the line manager's office or the principal's office to explain myself, but neither happened, oddly enough. The closest thing to a telling off I got was when I had a chat with the Head of Maths, who said that I shouldn't have sworn, but fundamentally, I did the right thing in defending the other students' emotional well-being, and obviously their needs outweigh one student wanting to be a creep. A couple of weeks later, gender fluid kid comes to my room, loving furious. I ask them what's going on, and it turns out Diet Cola Andrew Tate walked up to them and shouted "gently caress off you loving tranny" at them. Like, you walked up to the other person, you loving wazzock. I basically said that I was just "talking to my self," but that it would be a real shame if someone were to go around getting written statements from kids that this shithead had bullied over the years, and it would be a reeeeaaaal shame if someone were to take those statements to the senior management corridor and refuse to budge until they got an audience with either the principal or the relevant deputy principal in charge of their year level (who happened to be the one that got punched previously). A reeeeaaaaal shame. This dickhead had done a fair bit too. His greatest hits were "physically assaulting a younger female student because as a male, he was entitled to do so, apparently," or when a half-Japanese girl in the same class the previous year would put her hand up in class, he would start shouting "shut up you sushi Jap bitch." (This girl took this complaint to the deans, and the one she unfortunately talked to insisted this wasn't racism. When I heard about this, I confronted that dean, and asked her to explain how it wasn't. This apathy and refusal to act was why this shithead was getting away with so much). Genderfluid kid ended up getting an audience with the deputy principal for their year level with a hefty stack of statements. This leads to mum being called in, and shitfuck is basically suspended for the rest of the year, pending a meeting with the principal over whether he'd even be allowed back. For the rest of the year, he's only allowed back for the externally assessed exams, where he once again shows his rear end - the same English class had a boy with global development delay, which caused him to speak with a fairly nasal voice. This boy worked hard though, and had passed all of his internally assessed work, so he'd already passed the year at that point. Anyway, dickfuck decided it would be funny to talk poo poo about this kid, which prompts a bunch of other students telling him to get hosed. Later, he goes up to one of the other English teachers (one of two men in the department) and is like "hey sir, did you hear about rando kicking me out of his class?" The other teacher basically just says "yes, I also know why. Who the gently caress are you to talk down to others because of how they live their lives? What business of yours is it?" Anyway, he's allowed back the next year, but I'd already moved on to the school I'm currently at. A year after that, I hear through the grapevine from another student I'd kept in touch with, that he'd picked a fight with the genderfluid kid, and got the poo poo knocked out of him. Like knocked to the ground, and having to curl up while the other kid just punched the gently caress out of him. Usually, when a fight happens, the other kids would immediately separate the combatants. Apparently no one did that while he was getting the piss knocked out of him.
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May 5, 2023 14:56
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Disco Pope posted:My history teacher was this sweet, dodering old guy who managed to lock himself in a cupboard once. He lectured rather than taught and used slides that must have dated from the early 60s in the late 90s. Younger classes would get bored and go crazy, but I kind of liked his sleepy, nerd vibe. Did you go to school with Mike Nelson because one of his books talked about his history teacher doing that
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May 5, 2023 14:58
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"the scene kids" "the jocks" "the stoners" "the cheerleaders" what is this clique poo poo lol. how old are you motherfuckers. did you go to school with the fonz
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May 5, 2023 15:05
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Did anybody else read that one book as a kid where a teacher accidentally-on-purpose turned the school into Nazi Germany
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May 5, 2023 15:21
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B-Rock452 posted:Did you go to school with Mike Nelson because one of his books talked about his history teacher doing that That's the MST guy, right? No, but that's interesting!
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May 5, 2023 15:41
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mutantIke posted:Did anybody else read that one book as a kid where a teacher accidentally-on-purpose turned the school into Nazi Germany Was that what the movie "The Wave" was based on?
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May 5, 2023 15:44
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This one still gives me vertigo and hopefully I can explain it well. My primary school was in an old Victorian building, down to being divided into boy and girls entrances. The main section for Primary 3 to 7, the canteen, library, and administration was in a three story building with the rooms being at either side of a central well. I remember going to the bathroom one day when I was about 10 and there was a kid from another class who had been kicked out for bad behaviour and was just sitting on one of the support beams that straddled the well on the top floor. He'd climbed over the railing and was just sitting chill as gently caress over what must conservatively be a 25 to 30ft drop. The support beam wasn't even flat, it was triangular prism shaped and he had a leg over each side. I just kind of nodded and he nodded back and when I got back he was gone (as in, climbed back off, he wasn't a stain on the ground floor). My palms sweat just thinking about it. Disco Pope fucked around with this message at 16:00 on May 5, 2023 |
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May 5, 2023 15:57
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Disco Pope posted:That's the MST guy, right? No, but that's interesting! Yeah. He talked about some teacher everyone called Beaker and the guy was lecturing and discovered a cabinet was open and for some reason climbed in while still talking and then realized he was locked in. No one liked him so everyone just left
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May 5, 2023 15:59
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edogawa rando posted:Anyway, he's allowed back the next year, but I'd already moved on to the school I'm currently at. A year after that, I hear through the grapevine from another student I'd kept in touch with, that he'd picked a fight with the genderfluid kid, and got the poo poo knocked out of him. Like knocked to the ground, and having to curl up while the other kid just punched the gently caress out of him. Usually, when a fight happens, the other kids would immediately separate the combatants. Apparently no one did that while he was getting the piss knocked out of him.
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May 5, 2023 16:09
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mutantIke posted:Did anybody else read that one book as a kid where a teacher accidentally-on-purpose turned the school into Nazi Germany Yeah, of course. In 6th and 7th grade English we spent ages and ages on Nazi poo poo like that and Night; our teachers told us that since we were “intellectuals” (honors class) we would have been targeted in the Holocaust even if we weren’t Jewish. A survivor came and gave a talk and showed us his tattoo, really the whole nine yards.
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May 5, 2023 16:30
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My school had a lot of Holocaust education too but that's just because I grew up in Miami
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May 5, 2023 19:58
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In 9th grade two pothead kids in my gym class came in late after smoking up in the woods. They left their pipe, which was still lit, in a hoodie while changing. Within a few minutes the hoodie started to smolder and filled the locker room with smoke. Someone pulled the fire alarm and we all marched outside and it wasn't hard for the teachers to figure out what happened. Both kids were expelled for the rest of the year, one never came back, and the locker room smelled like burnt weed for a long time after that.
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May 6, 2023 05:39
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In high school I used to smoke in a little used hallway inside the school when it was really cold out. One day I was smoking and hanging with my friends in this hallway and the assistant Principal came by out of the blue. I tucked my cigarette towards the inside of my hand and inside the sleeve of my jacket to hide the cigarette and he decided to talk to me for whatever reason. The interaction was maybe a minute or so long but smoke was going up the sleeve of my jacket and coming out of the neck. I'm fairly sure he knew but wasn't interested in making a fuss and generating more work for himself.
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May 6, 2023 05:52
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That reminds me of a time in grade .. 6? 7? when we had a "library" period which as far as I can remember was us being shown how to google something in the first class and then the rest of the year we just dicked around in the library doing absolutely nothing. Anyway the librarian was this really crabby old lady who would absolutely lose her poo poo if someone was eating, chewing gum etc. Like to the point that she'd drag a kid to the principal while screaming and telling them they'd be suspended. One of my friends was eating a lollypop in class when she suddenly appeared behind him (she was unable to see the lollypop) and his eyes went wider than I've ever seen and he covertly stuffed the lollypop into his hoody pocket before turning around to answer her. For some reason I thought this was the funniest thing ever and got kicked out of class when I wouldn't explain why I was laughing
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May 6, 2023 06:09
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cat botherer posted:Lol, well that solves that. Apparently he was also whining about how "rando ruined my life" for a while after mum was called in and shown first-hand evidence of her son being a piece of poo poo. Like, no, you ruined your own life, you loving dolt.
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May 6, 2023 06:22
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LonesomeCrowdedWest posted:For some reason I thought this was the funniest thing ever and got kicked out of class when I wouldn't explain why I was laughing Good on you for not selling him out!
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Jun 6, 2023 17:59
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Smoking chat reminds of the two bits of lore that everyone picked up on and repeated for their four years. The first was the old classic of directing freshmen to the "third floor" when they were trying to find a specific room, or casually mentioning that there was some great amenity there. Of course we've got a student lounge/a movie theater/a pool, just go to the third floor. (Made even more absurd by the fact that our entire second floor was comprised of a single hallway with maybe a dozen classrooms.) The second was that students were absolutely allowed to smoke on campus - they could even take smoke breaks during the day! You just needed to speak with either a principal or the school resource officer to request a Smoking Permit. As teachers loved to tell us, more than a few kids over the years thought that rumor was true, and they'd made the trip to the front office to apply for their Smoking Permit and were genuinely surprised when they got sat down for a lengthy lecture from an administrator/a cop.
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Jun 6, 2023 18:45
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probably going to it
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Jun 6, 2023 19:45
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JethroMcB posted:Smoking chat reminds of the two bits of lore that everyone picked up on and repeated for their four years. The first was the old classic of directing freshmen to the "third floor" when they were trying to find a specific room, or casually mentioning that there was some great amenity there. Of course we've got a student lounge/a movie theater/a pool, just go to the third floor. (Made even more absurd by the fact that our entire second floor was comprised of a single hallway with maybe a dozen classrooms.) My mom told me that smoking permits were literally a thing in the 70s/80s here, you had to get a signed note from your parents that you were allowed to stand in the smoking area lol
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Jun 6, 2023 20:20
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Cached Money posted:My mom told me that smoking permits were literally a thing in the 70s/80s here, you had to get a signed note from your parents that you were allowed to stand in the smoking area lol In the 90's we just smoked in designated smoking areas in high school. In junior high we had to smoke on the sidewalk out of view of the street. All of that changed really quick as I exited school, probably 2 years after I was out of school smoking was banned completely.
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Jun 6, 2023 20:32
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Our school's smoking pit was just outside the property in a parkette the city owned. There was a gap in the iron fence that folks would slip through. The school security guard (a big guy named Kermit) would bust you if you lit up while still on school property but there's nothing he could do if you did it on the other side of that fence so he'd routinely just stand there and have conversations with kids while they smoked.
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Jun 6, 2023 20:49
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Any of you guys wanna buy an elevator pass?
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Jun 6, 2023 21:12
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Mister Speaker posted:Our school's smoking pit was just outside the property in a parkette the city owned. There was a gap in the iron fence that folks would slip through. The school security guard (a big guy named Kermit) would bust you if you lit up while still on school property but there's nothing he could do if you did it on the other side of that fence so he'd routinely just stand there and have conversations with kids while they smoked.
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Jun 6, 2023 23:52
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My highschool was across the street from an art museum so they always had teenagers smoking in their sculpture park
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Jun 7, 2023 02:40
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Senior prank in highschool was a few thousand bouncy balls let loose in the commons area Our school was notorious in the area for 'fights'
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Jun 7, 2023 02:46
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The designated smoking area at my high school was a median separating two lanes of traffic. Students weren’t allowed to smoke on school grounds, and the Marriott hotel across the street would call the cops if students so much as walked across their parking lot, let alone loitered in it. So you’d see 20-30 students standing on an 8’ x 40’ island of grass in the middle of traffic any time during the school day.
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Jun 7, 2023 02:49
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Extra Large Marge posted:Any of you guys wanna buy an elevator pass? Do you take ramen?
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Jun 7, 2023 08:12
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Passive Aggreeable posted:Senior prank in highschool was a few thousand bouncy balls let loose in the commons area Some schools are more about Beavis and Butthead style recreational flailing at each other more than 'fights'.
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Jun 7, 2023 14:47
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Wild fight first day of high school. Hanging out outside near the smoker's pit, just kind of getting fresh air and meeting people. Fight breaks out between two girls in the smoker's pit. Someone calls out "fight" or "oh poo poo" and people gather. Girl 1 manages to knock Girl 2 to the ground. Girl 2 sort of rolls over to get up, pulls out pepper spray from her purse. Turns and immediately fires a huge arc of the pepper spray, gets a bunch of people circled around to watch this fight, manages to catch the other girl in the eyes and mouth. Proceeds to get up and spray the poo poo out of her. Girl 1 is scream crying, vomits. People in the circle are coughing from the particles in the air and getting hit with splash damage. Paramedics get called, police get called. Girl 1 ends up moving schools a few months into the semester because people kept making fun of her for getting pepper sprayed, I guess? Girl 2 gets moved to a different school in district because apparently the bar for expulsion is as higher than an Olympic high jump. She ends up getting into another fight where she hit a girl across the face with a cafeteria tray. She ended up graduating from an alternative school later.
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Jun 7, 2023 17:02
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I'm glad kids have largely stopped smoking cigarettes.
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Jun 7, 2023 17:29
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Are vape clouds harder to hide than cigarette smoke? I knew a guy who made money selling nicotine gum to people getting the itch. I think he got it from his dad.
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Jun 7, 2023 17:36
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From my friends who teach, and some of my younger cousins, it's apparently a lot easier to vape in a school bathroom and hide it
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Jun 7, 2023 18:32
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Animal-Mother posted:I'm glad kids have largely stopped smoking cigarettes. When I was in 8th grade, I would bum cigarettes off the high school boys at the bus stop and pretend to smoke (no inhaling, just kind of holding it in my mouth) to try to impress them 
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Jun 7, 2023 18:41
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The bathrooms at my high school were basically in a perpetual thick fog of smoke, and the smokers had a whole system where they would pass a cigarette between each other while rotating lookouts. Lighting a cigarette was a commitment, so they would smoke it as quickly as possible until someone was coming, stash it behind the toilet, then later pull the soggy cigarette from a puddle on the bathroom floor and try to light it back up. I would imagine that vaping is much easier to conceal, as you can just take a quick puff whenever, the vapor cloud is gone in seconds, and it doesn't make you stink like real tobacco smoke. Kids can probably just take a hit between classes and blow the vapor in their locker. The_Franz fucked around with this message at 18:53 on Jun 7, 2023 |
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Jun 7, 2023 18:51
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The_Franz posted:The bathrooms at my high school were basically in a perpetual thick fog of smoke, and the smokers had a whole system where they would pass a cigarette between each other while rotating lookouts. Lighting a cigarette was a commitment, so they would smoke it as quickly as possible until someone was coming, stash it behind the toilet, then later pull the soggy cigarette from a puddle on the bathroom floor and try to light it back up. That's bleak. We were fortunate enough to be in a boarding school with generous checkout policies that was adjacent to a national park so we smoked and hosed in the woods like our ancestors before us
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Jun 7, 2023 19:03
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The_Franz posted:
Can confirm, I’ve recently regrettably took up vaping after regrettably having to get a part time night job at McDonald’s and it does feel like being back at school. Everyone sneaking off to the staff room to vape just to get away from work for a while. I set off the smoke alarm in the staff room and then had to help the managers pretend to look around the restaraunt looking for a fire, and then when the manager came over asking is there any chance you used deodorant in the changing room I pretended to remember. Started doing it into the locker now and seems to do the job.
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Jun 7, 2023 19:08
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I guess I caused The Incident? I have precious few memories of this time, but back when I was in school (like, 12 years old basically) I was there for the first laptops being rolled out to school kids. We had this pissy little facebook-like social media for the school. So, my laptop, the battery runs out during class. So I go and fetch one of the ones on charge, and it turns out the last person to have it was the kid who has been a bully to me for the last 6-ish years. And, he forgot to log out! We have like a week or 2 left at school or something like that, and this kid basically never saw any sort of justice because his mom was a member of the PTA council (Parents-Teachers Association). So in a weird fit of anger and being a young kid brought up in a weird rear end vaguely catholic school (our one religious teacher claimed that the voice in her head was uh, God himself), i take a breath and then type "I am gay" and hit enter. And then I log out and log back in. Teachers kept pressuring us to say who did it, parents were brought in, the kid was in TEARS and everyone had stern talkings to. I think? I eventually like cracked and said I did it. I have absolutely no memory of what happened next but I don't think there were any Major repercussions as far as I'm aware lol.
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Jun 7, 2023 19:17
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