- Dixville
- Nov 4, 2008
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I don't think!
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Ham Wrangler
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I don't like to do this, but I am sending you bad vibes for making me remember the cum shrooms.
I had successfully purged it from my brain. It's bad to force that knowledge back on people. Now it's going to be stuck there and come up in my fever dreams again. Rude.
Nooo i didn't realize what he was talking about till you said something and now i remember. Curse you!
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Sep 22, 2022 02:58
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May 18, 2024 10:55
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- Dixville
- Nov 4, 2008
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I don't think!
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Ham Wrangler
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I am no experienced astral traveler like some of the people in this thread. but I know enough to know they're cool, they're good and they absolutely saved my life. I'd like to tell you how.
when I was 21 I decided to end my life. I was in a bad place mentally. all of the meaningful relationships in my life seemed so... meaningless. I did the cliche thing, wrote a note, had it all planned out, had the place, time and means ready. the night before I was going to go through with it one of my roommates got a hold of some mushrooms. I had heard they could help with depression and I figured I had absolutely nothing to lose by trying. I'm not experienced but my sitter who nibbled a cap to "ride the vibe" with us said he'd never been so hosed up on so little so I took that to mean they were good.
I covered two large slices of pizza in the psychic fungus and went to town eating it. it was a really fun trip. I saw dragons flying over the city, snakes made of fire dancing in the forest, at one point our hallway became somewhere wild, wonderful and terrifying all at once. it may have been good fun but I was still very depressed and very much still wanted nothing more than to just not deal with anything anymore. as the hallucinations started to fade and my anxiety, fear and anger came back. I knew what I was going to do the next day so I decided I'd go to bed for the night.
I turned off the bedroom light and walked to my bed. I laid down on top of my covers and set a bullet on the nightstand next to me (I'm certain I wrote something emo on it, but I don't care to remember what). I tried to calm my mind and just go to sleep. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. no good, I wasn't tired. just as quickly as I closed my eyes I opened them again and had to throw my arm up over my brow to block the blinding white light that was preventing me from focusing on anything.
seconds passed and my eyes adjusted to the light. I knew now that it wasn't one of my roommates messing with me by turning a light on. I wasn't even in my old room anymore. I found myself standing in front of a kitchen sink with a dish towel draped over my right shoulder. I noticed an amazing backyard with a fallen over climbing tree. I could see a sky that was so intensely light blue that it made me feel like a small child. but most important of all I could feel love and joy in this house. it was warm and inviting and so different than anything I was experiencing in my life at the moment.
I was desperately trying to understand what I was seeing. I felt a tug at my pants. I turned around not sure what to expect. it was a little boy, no more than 4 wearing some adorable overalls. his lip was shaking uncontrollably and he looked like he wanted to cry but was too terrified to make anything happen in that regard. I placed the dish towel on the counter and picked the boy up. as I did his eyes opened the floodgates and he started bawling. I picked up the child, put his forehead to mine and asked "what's wrong?" through raspy quick inhales the boy said to me "I was so afraid you weren't here anymore." I hugged the child and told him "of course silly, where would I go?" given the circumstances I have no idea why I said that. the boy laid his head on my shoulder and whispered back "I'm happy you're still here." then, as we stood in the kitchen embracing, I closed my eyes. as soon as they were closed I couldn't feel the child anymore. I opened my eyes and found myself back in my lonely depressing bedroom. I got up and told my roommates that I think I just talked to my son. in case it's not obvious, I had no children.
nearly 20 years have passed since I planned to end my life. I've never wanted or tried to since then. I've been far too scared to ever take mushrooms again as well.
I'm not particularly religious or spiritual, I don't try to explain what happened other than to say I was very depressed and saw what I needed to see. the fallen tree in my backyard now looks remarkably similar to what I remember. my one and a half year old son is starting to look remarkably like the child I saw when I was someone else who might as well have been living another life. the only thing I know for sure about the experience is magic mushrooms saved my life, and in the end that's all I need to understand. thanks for reading if you put yourself through all those words!
That's actually a really cool story, thanks for sharing. I'm kind of interested in trying mushrooms partly cause of my ptsd and stuff, I'm not going in expecting something as awesome as what you saw but maybe it would jostle me out of my funk. I tend to get paranoid though so I'd have to probably do it with someone I trust.
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Sep 28, 2022 03:59
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- Dixville
- Nov 4, 2008
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I don't think!
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Ham Wrangler
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My friend just happened to mention his friend may be getting him mushrooms soon so i might be able to try them. I'll probably trip report to this thread if I do. Not during but after.
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Sep 29, 2022 17:39
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Sep 22, 2022 02:58
