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banned from Starbucks posted:what in the christ?? This cant be a real thing. Lol at truck nutting your dog It's for show dogs I think, they can't win a prize if the dog isn't "Complete".
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Feb 13, 2023 11:54
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Follow-up surgery is today. Currently in a waiting room at the hospital, waiting for a nurse to get me for pre op. Hopefully it goes well. I'll be here in Chicago for a week, and a few weeks in bed at home after that.
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Feb 13, 2023 14:26
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Rooting for you op! Hope it goes well. ♥️
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Feb 13, 2023 14:45
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Wishing you a swift recovery!
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Feb 13, 2023 15:09
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Frozen Peach posted:Follow-up surgery is today. Currently in a waiting room at the hospital, waiting for a nurse to get me for pre op. Hopefully it goes well. I'll be here in Chicago for a week, and a few weeks in bed at home after that. Good luck hope all goes well and hopefully our weather stays nice while you're here.
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Feb 13, 2023 22:39
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Surgery is complete and I'm in my hospital room. Every thing went well and I'm feeling pretty great all things considered.
Frozen Peach fucked around with this message at 10:00 on Feb 14, 2023 |
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Feb 13, 2023 22:45
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banned from Starbucks posted:Wait what? How do you gain testicles? Where do they come from? as a trans masc person who has done a lot of lower surgery research in hopes of having lower surgery a couple years ago (COVID ruined those dreams and i'm leaving my job in a week, so lol, welp): it's scrotoplasty, and essentially the labia majora are fused -- the exact "style" depends on type of scrotoplasty, particular surgeon's technique, and limits of the starting tissue. depending on surgeon, they may use tissue expanders here, or go straight to testicular implants iirc. the implants are just lil polymer ovoid implants. labia majora fusion works quite well because they're homologous to a scrotum, and already like, y'know, kinda dangly. the scrotoplasty part of transmasculine lower surgery is comparatively pretty simple. phalloplasty (generally a free flap graft from arm or thigh, rolled into a tube, with nerve hookup -- generally with urinary hookup, but not always) is very complex, with permanent hair removal requirements that take ~1yr prep time, is staged across several surgeries, and has pretty intense recovery times. Urinary hookup especially introduces a lot of risk for healing complications (generally stricture or fistula). Metoidioplasty is a little less complex, but is very dependent on individual response to hormones and existing tissue. They're all pretty fascinating surgical procedures, but it can be difficult to get information on if you aren't actively pursuing it.
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Feb 15, 2023 21:12
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Thank you for providing it! This stuff is all pretty wild to hear about.
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Feb 16, 2023 05:05
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Yeah, I had no idea scrotoplasty was even an option -- I'd only heard about phalloplasty/metoidioplasty. Appreciate the info! And best wishes for a speedy recovery, Frozen Peach!
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Feb 16, 2023 05:23
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oh actually i left out a key part about scrotoplasty + phalloplasty lol if you're doing phallo, you also have the choice of getting an erectile implant or not, and if you choose implant, there's two main variants: a flexible rod (essentially so you can bend it down for the ol daily driver mode), OR an inflatable implant. the inflatable implant has saline that moves from a reservoir into cylinders in the shaft implant, and a pump and a release valve in the scrote for moving the saline back and forth. so in some cases, the testicular implants are those instead of just the ovoid ones.
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Feb 16, 2023 07:59
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As an owner of balls....they are not worth it. Take the best of both worlds option and get a dick and say no thanks to the scrotoplasty.
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Feb 17, 2023 00:13
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banned from Starbucks posted:As an owner of balls....they are not worth it. Take the best of both worlds option and get a dick and say no thanks to the scrotoplasty. But you can get cyber balls where you squeeze a ball to pump up your dick.
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Feb 17, 2023 02:49
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Dr. Stab posted:But you can get cyber balls where you squeeze a ball to pump up your dick. Surely there must be an app for that by now?
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Feb 17, 2023 11:36
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You do not want to your junk to be accessible to a network. I remember how frustrating unanticipated and unwanted erections were as a kid. It was not a good time. There's no reason to let the Internet suddenly decide that you're hard now, as well.
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Feb 17, 2023 22:20
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Gnossiennes posted:oh actually i left out a key part about scrotoplasty + phalloplasty lol saline is stored in the balls...?
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Feb 17, 2023 22:39
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Greg12 posted:What does it feel like to realize you're trans? To be trans before you realize it? Before you know trans exists? How do you know, and how's it different from just thinking that parts or all of the gender role assigned-at-birth don't interest you?
The Before Times: What does it feel like to be trans before you realize it? Before you know trans exists? before coming out, i didn't remember much from before I was 13 or 14. i've since recovered a fair number of those memories with therapy & time; i won't go into details, but long story short some were of me expressing the idea of wanting to be a girl to friends & family and being extremely rebuffed by both in no uncertain terms (it was the early '90s, so, yeah). never brought that up again, and by the time puberty came along it was all walled off in my own head & inaccessible from high school onward, if anything like those feelings bubbled up from my subconscious, i'd rationalize it away as some kind of insane sexual fetish, or a random misfire from a brain plagued with depression, anxiety disorders, undiagnosed ADHD, & undiagnosed ASD; and think nothing more of it. i'd also started to look in the mirror and see... this is kinda hard to describe very well, but i wouldn't see me, but an ugly, fat sack of meat & bone carrying me. just didn't care about my appearance at all anymore, save for being socially appropriate - orderly hair, clean clothes, and all that so that's how it felt to be trans before i realized it was a possibility, before even conceptualizing the idea of being transgender: a barely-explicable degree of constant ennui and self-disinterest that i at-best misunderstood, and at-worst hated myself for. The Penny-Drop: What does it feel like to realize you're trans? fast forward to late 2022. by then i'd been in therapy for a couple of years; the question of gender was touched on tangentially in a couple sessions, but never directly or more than surface-level, and when it did I'd deny any feelings of the sort. i remember thinking along the lines of "yeah it'd be cool to be girl, but i'd be a seriously ugly one, and anyway i don't have any of that dysphoria stuff" (lolllllllll). maybe a week after one of those was the fateful day when i idly browsed social media and somehow stumbled right into That God drat Twitter Post: https://twitter.com/TransSalamander/status/947522372315369472?s=20 i was stunned after reading that, and i really mean stunned; i did nothing but sit there unfocused, breathe normally, and think or quietly say "... what?" for like fifteen minutes. i guess my subconscious saw its chance and took it  after that, i started searching the internet & reading with more focus than i'd ever felt in my entire life. at first i was looking for just information: what being transgender really was, what dysphoria was, posts in places like r/asktransgender, worryingly-relatable memes (i guess "image macros" doesn't roll off the tongue anymore, huh?); anything I could get my hands on. by the end of several hours, i was specifically searching for some method of definitive proof - but it wasn't proof of being transgender that i was looking for. No, by then I was desperately grabbing at whatever straw I could conceivably twist around to prove to my by-now extremely insistent subconscious that I WASN'T transgender, that i wasn't living a lie, that i wasn't hiding something so fundamental from myself for over 30 god damned years. so, what does it feel like to realize you're trans? my answer was deep, all-encompassing, and horribly abject terror. Transition would mean upending my entire life, risking lighting my few relationships on fire, losing my job and maybe never getting another one, having to start anew of after 30 years of learning to live & act as a male, how inconceivably awful I'd look... and for what? to not have to deal with men's locker rooms? to have boobs??? what could I possibly gain from this blatant madness?! Internalized transphobia, it turns out, is a real son of a bitch. The Epilogue: because i already answered the questions but couldn't stop myself writing the rest of this poo poo anyway some few weeks and considerably more therapy later, i was more or less back on balance - i'd started on bringing to light all those internalized negative feelings and letting them go, but I was still full of doubt. was it a depression response, wishing for another different life? did i really want the physical attributes of a woman, or was it a kink gone out of control? if i were trans I would've realized a lot sooner, right? i felt i had to find some kind of proof, something more definite than "mere" introspection & soul-searching, before anything else by then I'd done a lot of research on the medical treatments available; for example, i knew the effects of HRT typically brought no physical changes, or only reversible ones, for the first month or two. so i figured, why not come at this a bit backwards, and just... try it? see how i felt after a month and re-evaluate then? i knew not all trans folk went for HRT, but... hell, why not? thankfully, my endocrinologist operates on informed consent: I could get HRT without any gatekeeping, like living & presenting as a woman for a while first or getting letters from mental professionals or whatever, as long as I understood what I was getting myself into & signed paperwork saying such. And so I did, coming home with a filled prescription for estradiol (estrogen, more or less). not much happened until roundabout day six. i woke up in a somewhat better mood than usual, showered, looked in the mirror and saw... again, this is hard to find the right words for, but i saw me. not the aforementioned squishy sack of organs carrying me, but me. and i knew exactly what that meant: my gamble had paid off. that was the moment I knew, from deep, deep down, that i'm a transwoman, i always was a transwoman, i would transition, and i was never, ever going back. since then there's been a lot of bad days, anxiety, fearful social encounters, battles with insurance (oy vey), and so on, but y'know what? the year+ since has been the best part of my entire life, and it's not even remotely close. And so she lived happily ever after~ Ciaphas fucked around with this message at 02:55 on Mar 12, 2023 |
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Mar 12, 2023 02:50
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hi, i'd like a son of baconator with small fries & a sprite, please
Ciaphas fucked around with this message at 02:53 on Mar 12, 2023 |
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Mar 12, 2023 02:51
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Ciaphas posted:
I want to pluck this in specific because that matches my experience to a T but I want to add in a little something else. Before I found out, I was so detached from my body that I had always seen it as nothing more than a jar that kept my brain, and it was just a tool that my mind used to interact with the world. I also never interested in myself to go beyond being socially acceptable (even though something or another belied my depression, ie unkempt beard, just ill-fitting, ratty (at least clean) clothing, and so on). On that note, when I did try putting in effort, like nicer men's clothing, it just felt... wrong. I can't quite explain it besides that I felt I was in a costume that was always about to fall off. My eureka moment was after a sleepless night a few days I participated in a workshop that asked us to introspect our identity. In 31 years I had never earnestly did that, and I'm glad I finally did it. The moment I accepted I was trans was a huge relief to me, and it was the first time in forever that I felt truly happy and free.
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Mar 12, 2023 03:20
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Ciaphas posted:
I thought I was the only person who did this. It took 5 days before I felt like I was seeing sunlight for the first time.
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Mar 12, 2023 04:02
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ElHuevoGrande posted:I thought I was the only person who did this. It took 5 days before I felt like I was seeing sunlight for the first time.  
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Mar 12, 2023 04:10
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quote:an ugly, fat sack of meat & bone Well yeah, though... gestures vaguely at Goons in general Thank you for sharing this!
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Mar 12, 2023 20:46
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Thank you for sharing this story, I've been struggling with the concept of my trans identity for a while now, and bobbling on if HRT is a right move for me to try. My family is supportive and my wife as well I have concerned at my place of employment but I'm slowly introducing the idea that im trans there. your description of Before times hits home for me so hard that even though i've had multiple a-ha moments for my identity (and have been navigating thinking about it since 2020) that it had me sitting at work staring blankly with another big A-ha...
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Mar 14, 2023 17:25
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The_Fuzzinator posted:Thank you for sharing this story, If your experience is anything like mine, the a-has don't seem to stop coming. Like I've fully accepted I am trans since about 2018 or so, but sometimes a post or a feeling or smell or *something* will still make me stop in my tracks. Just reading this thread, today, I realised I play female characters in computer games because I've always wished I was a 'real girl' to fit in - but also as part of a realisation that *I have not been and never will be a girl* so it's basically a costume. (I'm AFAB non-binary).
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Apr 20, 2023 10:58
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Hey OP, I'm wondering how you're getting on with your recovery. I hope it's going well. 
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May 1, 2023 20:30
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Space Kablooey posted:Hey OP, I'm wondering how you're getting on with your recovery. I hope it's going well. I'm doing pretty good! Things are mostly healed and I'm roughly back to normal. I got a clean bill of health at my last follow-up and things are finally looking up.
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May 22, 2023 16:27
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Is electrolysis the best thing for hair removal? Gf has been going for a few weeks now and it seems like the process is wearing her down
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Aug 5, 2023 04:16
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Hotel Kpro posted:Is electrolysis the best thing for hair removal? Gf has been going for a few weeks now and it seems like the process is wearing her down "The best thing" is relative. I did about 100 hours of electrolysis and it wore me down to nothing while not eradicating my facial hair. These days, I just hit up a laser for a round when things are getting bad. However, I am a good laser candidate and I do not need 100% eradication to get through my day to day. Electrolysis is the only truly permanent option for truly everybody, but it takes a long time, costs a lot of money, and is exceptionally painful.
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Aug 5, 2023 04:23
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I didn't find laser to be too painful on my face/chin (thanks, PCOS!). Much like with tattoos, pain will vary based on body location and your own biology, and can also vary based on how hydrated and well-rested/energized you're feeling at the time. It does work very well and I recommend it over electrolysis.
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Aug 5, 2023 18:13
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I had electrolysis. It hurt, it was expensive, but the hair is gone. I could not be happier. I absolutely hated shaving, and felt very dysphoric about it.
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Sep 3, 2023 08:58
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My recommendation would be laser first and electrolysis if it doesn’t work (unless you’re required to do electrolysis for something like bottom surgery). From my experience, laser was significantly less painful and was over faster, while electrolysis pretty badly broke me based on the pain. I’m still doing it because of bottom surgery, but it’s truly a torturous process. If you’re not a good candidate for laser (e.g., lighter hair or darker skin), it’s a bit of a different analysis.
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Sep 4, 2023 23:45
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(I am an AFAB nonbinary agender person) What does gender feel like? What is a woman anyway?
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Sep 8, 2023 01:34
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AnonymousNarcotics posted:(I am an AFAB nonbinary agender person) (Also an AFAB agender person, along as Autistic/ADHD) Imagine I posted a growing  here because hell if I know.Once I took a gender/sexuality class and found out most of that stuff was socially/culturally constructed, I stopped trying to figure it out. I just say my gender is "NO."
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Sep 8, 2023 15:12
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Cis man, and I also don't get what the gently caress a gender is. I took various gender studies classes at uni, but I'm even more unclear after that. I'm going with man because it's easy and doesn't bother me, but I don't really have any strong attachment to it. I especially don't get it in relation to sexuality, how can you reject someone romantically or sexually based on something as nebulous as gender? So yeah, I'm echoing the question of what is gender for someone who (pretty much by definition) cares about it? And for the record: just because I don't get it doesn't mean I'm not trying my best to respect whatever gender identity anyone has.
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Sep 8, 2023 15:29
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I think the answer to both of those questions is "nobody knows"
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Sep 8, 2023 15:29
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Gender to me is presenting and doing things that seem right to me. I’m a quite binary trans woman, so dressing feminine, being seen and treated as a woman etc. feel correct in a way that never did a single time prior to transition. It’s very much an oh yeah this actually makes sense and is sublimely satisfying with how it clicks. It’s a sort of day-to-day satisfaction that was never there before. But I think gender is something that is truly experienced differently by everyone as a combined product of our identity, social spaces and interactions, etc.
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Sep 9, 2023 18:19
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AnonymousNarcotics posted:What does gender feel like? Coming at this from the cis hetero white male shitlord point of view. Mainly, it feels Fine? I've spent a little time thinking about this ("huh, this trans thing. I guess I should think about it. Is this my experience in any way? Nope! Being a guy remains pretty much what I expected. Guess I'm good to go!"), and since both Gender and Sex are aligned in me it's a little difficult to disentangle the two. I would say that it Feels Fine? I have my gender specific concerns, and generally follow my societal cues as far as appropriate behavior. Personal concerns about appearance are mainly focused on factors well within my control (fortunately), and gender specific ones are pretty typical to my own. e.g. Should I have this kind of beard? This kind of hair? This style of dressing? Really, why shouldn't I wear cargo pants, the best of all pants?! It's also specific to your actions. Am I comfortable sitting here? Am I in a specifically gendered space, and if so, am I welcome? Should my behavior change to confirm to this space, or to specifically nonconformance? But, it's something that's hard to really think specifically about. Can you describe how, for example, being Human feels? What the color red looks like? Shitposting (and furries) aside, it's pretty difficult to think about because it's subjective. How do you compare that, except indirectly, mainly using what information you've heard from others? I would say that, insofar as it's a societal construct, gender mainly feels about how well you adhere to (and enjoy adhering to) what society expects of you for that gender. I haven't experienced the dysphoria that others here have experienced, which I'm thankful for, which means that it's difficult for me to say what feeling "Male" feels like specifically. Sorry if this was cis-splaining, it's just one of those things that's hard to do because it's asking to self analyze what "normal" is and that's difficult. AnonymousNarcotics posted:What is a woman anyway? A miserable pile of secrets. But enough talk, have at you! 
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Sep 9, 2023 22:32
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Volmarias posted:Coming at this from the cis hetero white male shitlord point of view. Mainly, it feels Fine? I've spent a little time thinking about this ("huh, this trans thing. I guess I should think about it. Is this my experience in any way? Nope! Being a guy remains pretty much what I expected. Guess I'm good to go!"), and since both Gender and Sex are aligned in me it's a little difficult to disentangle the two. I would say that it Feels Fine? I have my gender specific concerns, and generally follow my societal cues as far as appropriate behavior. Personal concerns about appearance are mainly focused on factors well within my control (fortunately), and gender specific ones are pretty typical to my own. e.g. Should I have this kind of beard? This kind of hair? This style of dressing? Really, why shouldn't I wear cargo pants, the best of all pants?! It's also specific to your actions. Am I comfortable sitting here? Am I in a specifically gendered space, and if so, am I welcome? Should my behavior change to confirm to this space, or to specifically nonconformance? This is a suspiciously well nuanced take from a cis man  Anyway, my experience of dysphoria was very strongly focused on my body, and the social aspects of gender kind of... revealed themselves to me later. I'm certainly happier now that the world by and large expects 'woman' things from me in my presentation and behaviour, but the base discomfort which really propelled me towards transition was all about how my body felt wrong. I guess I fit the old-fashioned narrative of 'woman trapped in a man's body.' It's a good thing that this narrative has become less centred, but I often feel like it's become quite disregarded as a thing that is still real and valid
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Sep 10, 2023 02:45
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Thanks for trying to take on my dumb question. I am hopefully learning. The things I don't get are 1: if it's about gender roles, what's the difference between just being a cis man who doesn't want to "act like a man" and being a trans woman? Like, when I was at uni, I would sometimes wear a dress and I am definitely the person to bring cake to work and other stuff that's traditionally a woman's role. But to me, that's just saying gently caress you to patriarchy and gendered expectations and less about wanting to be "on the other team". Basically, I conform to my gender when I feel like it and also when I don't care, but whenever something traditionally manly feels bad, I try to avoid it. And then my actual gender feels less important than how I'm actually being perceived as a person, in the sense that I don't really care about what pronouns anyone uses for me, as long as I get to drink a pink cocktail and not watch sports. I guess my main source of confusion is that the concept of gender, in my experience, has very little importance, and it's hard for me to understand why some people think it's important enough to (in some cases) undergo major surgery. 2: if gender dysphoria (as in, in those cases where it is) is about the actual physical body and parts, why do we need the sex/gender distinction? I realize that's probably a big can of worms though.
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Sep 10, 2023 06:28
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BonHair posted:Thanks for trying to take on my dumb question. I am hopefully learning. 1. It's about everything that gender means in society. Gender is a spectrum. It's not just man or woman but any combination of both or none. 2. It's complicated, but gender dysphoria can be as much mental struggles as it is physical. Hormones alone do a lot of rewiring of the brain emotionally, physically, and mentally. There are medical reasons for keeping sex at least on a chromosomal level, as well as on a physical parts level.
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Sep 10, 2023 07:01
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People are very complicated. I am a cis guy, but I give no shits to what people want to use as my pronouns. He/she/it...whatever. I know I'm a guy, so what people call me doesn't matter. But, my best friend in the world, for the last 40+ years, recently transed into her real gender, and I make sure to use the right pronouns with her because it makes her happy and comfortable, and she is my bestie. People are complicated and different, and awesome because of that.
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Sep 10, 2023 15:53
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