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Big Mac posted:I'm curious about what some of these introspection exercises were like. Would you be willing to share? I've got some questions for myself I think are waiting in the wings, based on how it feels reading this thread and the Gender Dysphoria Bible I can't speak to specific introspection exercises, but one thing I will say in regard to sorting yourself out, don't get stuck thinking you have to figure it all out immediately, or that you have to stick with any specific changes, thoughts, or statements you've had. In the 4 years since my egg cracked I've went from cis, to agender, to queer, to trans, to transfem, to "poo poo this is too hard I'm cis again", to non-binary, to "I'll be non-binary until the HRT fully does its thing, and I magically look and present like a cis-girl in her early 20s even though I'm in my late 30s," to "non-binary tomboy who is giving themselves a break and letting life happen as it happens." And it is guaranteed to change hundreds of times more. Identity is an entirely internal thing that can change as you grow. Speaking for myself, I thought I had to find the correct trans stereotype or subclique and then become that in order to be valid. I spent the first year of my transition trying to introspect myself to my perfect dream of who I wanted to be. And by the end I had learned that that wasn't the best way to become who I wanted to be. Also, find a support group (an online one is fine) and just listen for a while. It's very difficult to have productive introspection with only our own experiences to build our thought processes.
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Feb 10, 2024 02:36
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One thing is to try to separate out the question of who you are from your fear of what might happen. Fear is valid and understandable , but try not to let it feed doubts about your own experience. The other thing is introspection is great and all but at some point you need to do actual gender exploration. Identify the things you always wanted to try and try them. Chase what feels good.
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Feb 10, 2024 03:05
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oh god oh gently caress posted:One thing is to try to separate out the question of who you are from your fear of what might happen. Fear is valid and understandable , but try not to let it feed doubts about your own experience. The other thing is introspection is great and all but at some point you need to do actual gender exploration. Identify the things you always wanted to try and try them. Chase what feels good. Killer name/post combo
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Feb 10, 2024 16:21
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Oh I thought of a question, for people who are in the dating scene. Do people generally indicate what genitals they have and what genitals they are looking for on a partner? Is that thing? Like if I wanted to date someone with a penis (but didn’t have a preference re their gender identity) would I say on my okcupid profile or whatever “penishavers only please”? Also, I don’t like the word penishaver because it makes me think it says penny-shaver. Thank you for your time.
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Feb 10, 2024 19:41
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Dans Macabre posted:Oh I thought of a question, for people who are in the dating scene. ... You could add a space and make it "penis havers" unless you're discussing a trip to Pen Island.
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Feb 10, 2024 19:53
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Dans Macabre posted:Oh I thought of a question, for people who are in the dating scene. This would generally come off weird and bad. Most people don't want to feel like they are being dated for their genitals. There would additionally be a concern that this person would be wanting to treat me and place me in a role corresponding to how they perceive my genitals.
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Feb 12, 2024 17:45
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I agree it seems totally weird. So how and when does it come up? Like on the date when you’re thinking you might hook up that evening?
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Feb 12, 2024 18:18
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Historically I have either dated friends I know well and talk about trans stuff with, or bisexuals who wouldn't actually care. So this hypothetical of a blind or app date leading to hookup with a distinct disclosure point is just not something I have experienced.
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Feb 12, 2024 19:22
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Dans Macabre posted:I agree it seems totally weird. So how and when does it come up? Like on the date when you’re thinking you might hook up that evening? Given the risk of violence, I would disclose before meeting in person. I’m not on the dating scene, but reactions people have when they find out you’re trans can be unpredictable.
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Feb 28, 2024 23:24
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