Space Kablooey posted:

I want to pluck this in specific because that matches my experience to a T but I want to add in a little something else.

Before I found out, I was so detached from my body that I had always seen it as nothing more than a jar that kept my brain, and it was just a tool that my mind used to interact with the world. I also never interested in myself to go beyond being socially acceptable (even though something or another belied my depression, ie unkempt beard, just ill-fitting, ratty (at least clean) clothing, and so on). On that note, when I did try putting in effort, like nicer men's clothing, it just felt... wrong. I can't quite explain it besides that I felt I was in a costume that was always about to fall off.

My eureka moment was after a sleepless night a few days I participated in a workshop that asked us to introspect our identity. In 31 years I had never earnestly did that, and I'm glad I finally did it. The moment I accepted I was trans was a huge relief to me, and it was the first time in forever that I felt truly happy and free.