|
Neuronyx posted:The dysphoria thing sounds horrible to me but I don't suffer from it. I say that because I thought i've always wished to be a woman but I'm not suffering nearly that loving bad, so it feels like i'm full of poo poo. That's been the confusing part though because I don't know what I feel anymore, I can't stand my body but I don't mind my parts, usually. I've always felt a little feminine but never to such an extent. I'm bi. And indecisive on every aspect of my life, go figure. Now i'm just lost. I don't think I want to transition because that is not suffering i'm prepared for. But i'm tired of being whatever I am. I wish we weren't so far from a true cyberpunk future. Then none of this would be the deal it is now. The human body is such a loving joke and the sooner it can be left behind the sooner we can move the gently caress on to more important things. I can't stand breathing. Not gonna tell you what to do with your life but not having what I would consider dysphoria, feeling like I wasn't trans enough to transition and that the blowback would be insurmountable are all things I felt for the many years I spent pretransition. I'm not going to tell you what you are but nothing you've said precludes it. Greg12 posted:What does it feel like to realize you're trans? To be trans before you realize it? Before you know trans exists? How do you know, and how's it different from just thinking that parts or all of the gender role assigned-at-birth don't interest you? Before: Weird confusion. Ennui that I couldn't place. Many nights laying in bed that would be the only time I'd let my guard down enough to entertain certain thoughts. I both knew and didn't know for most of my late teens and 20s. I knew that trans people were a thing. But those people KNEW. I was so fuckin confused that I figured it was just a weird fetish or fixation. Other times I'd acknowledge I probably trans but not enough for me to blow up my life over. My attitude towards my male body and identity was mostly neutral. Still, I'd have this recurring fantasy of being on my deathbed, and that being the time I finally tell someone. So that someone finally knew. Egg crack: It's an "oh poo poo" moment. Without going into detail, I had an experience of pure, deep gender euphoria (EDIT: GOD DAMMIT I MEANT EUPHORIA JESUS). This incredible warm feeling deep in my chest. Afterwards I knew this was deeper than a fetish and could not be dismissed. I needed to start seriously looking into it and figure myself out. It was very scary and very exciting. In the aftermath of that I will say that I still didn't feel like a woman on the inside which hosed me up for a while. I felt like I wanted to be. Feeling like a woman didn't come for me until I started actually taking steps forward and dressing differently, presenting differently. I found my body language and mannerisms shifted in small ways as soon as I did. And with it came greater certainty that I was a lady and that I did not ever wanna stop or pull back. oh god oh fuck fucked around with this message at 20:21 on Dec 3, 2022 |
#
¿
Dec 3, 2022 18:19
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 21, 2024 13:55 |
|
|
oh god oh gently caress posted:
I wanna be clear about what I mean here. Only you can determine if you're trans or not and how you decide to handle it. It's a huge decision that you need to reach on your own.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 3, 2022 20:00
|
|
|
Your experience can be guided by what you like and want instead of what you hate. That's how it was for me. I spent over a year post-egg crack languishing because despite supposedly figuring myself out I didn't feel confident enough to move forward and started doubting myself again. Doubt is self reinforcing and, despite how confident other trans people look, is the most universal trans experience. If you want to explore it more, identify the things you wanna try and try them. I got a surprising amount of clarity just wearing makeup and femme clothes for the first time.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 3, 2022 20:26
|
|
|
Love Lives Here by Amanda Jette Knox is a book I've seen recommended a lot for cis partners. Haven't read it but heard a lot of good things about it. As for what you can do, I'd say just stand by and try to be supportive. Try not to control or guide what they do or how they present. Offer help whenever they need or ask for it. Just being there and being someone they can trust to talk about these things is already doing a lot for them.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 14, 2022 23:27
|
|
|
Fyi if you don't already know about it there's a trans chat thread in CCCC
|
|
#
¿
Dec 15, 2022 11:33
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 21, 2024 13:55 |
|
|
One thing is to try to separate out the question of who you are from your fear of what might happen. Fear is valid and understandable , but try not to let it feed doubts about your own experience. The other thing is introspection is great and all but at some point you need to do actual gender exploration. Identify the things you always wanted to try and try them. Chase what feels good.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 10, 2024 03:05
|
|