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I'm a 38 year old, post-op transgender woman. I came out as transgender at the age of 33, and shortly after started hormone therapy. In 2020, right before the pandemic, I had an orchiectomy (my balls were removed). 3 months ago I had full vaginoplasty (bottom surgery) (my dick was inverted). Ask me about being transgender, about surgery, about my experiences, basically anything you want. I'm not going to spoiler tag much else, so general content warning on my replies that may or may not be work safe, or mind safe, depending on who you are. I have a blog that I've been keeping, that I might end up linking, depending on questions that get asked, but I don't want to link it outright and make it feel like required reading. So I won't, but don't be surprised if there's optional reading for some extended answers. I welcome other transgender men and women to share their answers. I obviously can't speak for everyone who also transed or may trans their genders, so the more the merrier.
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Oct 2, 2022 00:11
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Cephas posted:How did you pick your SRS surgeon? Primarily just a lot of googling. For my orchiectomy it also involved cold calling various doctor's offices trying to find someone local willing to do it. The problem there wasn't so much finding someone who could do an orchi, but finding someone who would do an orchi without me having cancer first. I knew I would have to travel for my vaginoplasty. I live in Central Illinois, so there's not a lot of gender affirming clinics near me. I ended up finding Dr. Loren Schechter at, at the time, Weiss Hospital in Chicago. My original consultation was with him at Weiss, but by the time my surgery date came up he had moved to Rush University and I followed him there. Most the reviews I read of him were good. Overall he just gave me a good vibe and I ran with it. Cephas posted:What has the recovery process been like? Recovery is pain. Constant, unending pain. I'll note that the pain hasn't been bad and overall better than I expected it to be. However it IS constant and never ending. Be ready for 3 months of laying in bed and not being able to do much else. June 27th I had surgery and was in the hospital for a week. I've never stayed overnight in a hospital before, so 7 days in the hospital was A LOT for me. 24 hours after surgery they had me out of bed and walking short walks around the unit. The hospital stay, aside from the food, was amazing. All the care team members were great. I had an amazing view of Chicago from my bed.  I thought I'd get more reading and video gaming in, but it felt like every game I wanted to play couldn't be easily interrupted by the constant barrage of doctors and nurses coming in to check on me. And for reading? It's so hard to read when you're in pain. Plus concentration wasn't there for me. I did play through all of Portal 1 and about a third of Portal 2, because those had just come out on the Switch, though, so that was like 2 days of fun during the "best" period of in-hospital recovery. Ultimately it was a week of laying in bed. July 3rd the stitches and packing were removed. Probably the worst procedure to have done, but the relief after the packing was out was so worth it. July 4th I was transferred to a nursing/rehabilitation facility. This was the worst period of recovery. I was COVID quarantined because I didn't have a 3rd booster shot, and they couldn't get me a 3rd booster shot because being in my late 30s and otherwise healthy didn't qualify me for it. The bed was incredibly uncomfortable. The nurses largely ignored me. It was just an unpleasant experience overall. July 6th my catheter got removed. Honestly wasn't as bad as I expected it to be (that's kind of the theme of recovery, to be honest), but it did suck. July 11th I started dilating. That's probably the subject for it's own post, but essentially involves laying in bed with a dildo in your neo vagina for 20 minutes at a time, three times a day. I've heard a lot of trans women really hate dilating, but it doesn't bother me so much. The initial pain of insertion is the worst part, but once you relax and get used to things it's just a boring chore every 7 hours or so. July 15th I got to go home. Home consisted of laying in bed with a over bed desk for my laptop. When I can't lay in bed anymore, I switch to laying on the couch. Then back to bed. It's a never ending cycle. July 25th I was supposed to go back to work. Unfortunately minor complications resulted in my dad driving me back up to Chicago for a follow-up. I ended up taking the rest of the week off of work because of it. August 1st I officially started back at work. I work from home as a software engineer, so this consists of laying in bed with my work laptop on my bed desk. September 28th had my 3 month follow up with Dr. Schechter. Minor complications continue. Second worst procedure to have done involved silver nitrate on my lady bits. Once again, though, the relief afterwards made it worth it. I get out a few times a week for walks that range from 15 minutes to a few hours. I can finally sit "normally" (with the help of a butt donut pillow) for a few hours at a time, but my preferred position is still laying down either on my couch or in bed. Getting up, switching between sitting and standing, bending over, all of that is pain. As long as I pick a position and stay there, things are okay. Finally, though, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Minor complications are healing, every day the pain is less and less than the day before, and returning to normal life is getting easier. Hopefully that answers your questions. If there's something more specific you'd like me to go into detail on, let me know. It's hard to mash the last 3 months into a post.
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Oct 3, 2022 06:41
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Decoy Badger posted:What's the (head, body) hair situation like and how will that be handled? I'm incredibly lucky on the hair situation. No male pattern baldness and relatively light on body hair. I'm having laser hair removal done on my face and nether regions. Facial hair is obnoxious and I hate it, and I had to have laser done on my scrotum and taint for surgery. That was an incredibly unpleasant experience that is costing me about $7k out of pocket. Decoy Badger posted:Do you get phantom limb type sensations with your proprioception of where the penis was? It was the opposite actually. I had "phantom vagina" and hated the dangly bits protruding from my crotch. Post surgery there's some weird sensations where my brain hasn't connected the pain/discomfort with where it's actually coming from, but that's getting better. The weirdest part is sitting down to pee and no longer having a dick there. Getting used to peeing without a penis is really interesting. Decoy Badger posted:What was the neovagina made with/sourced from? Neovagina is primarily sourced from penis and scrotum tissue. They also had to take a skin graft from the side of my stomach to get some extra skin for things. Decoy Badger posted:Is hernia risk increased with a neovagina versus scrotum? As far as I know there's no increased risk there, but I don't know much about that. Sorry? Domus posted:I am in no way questioning your decisions, but why did you feel surgery was necessary? I’m just curious why some people do it and some don’t. Is it just a personal feeling? Did you not feel female with “incorrect” genitalia? Recovery from surgery sounds super long and painful. How did you know for sure you wanted to go ahead with it? It's definitely a personal feeling. In my case, showering, going to the bathroom, and sex all caused mental discomfort. I still felt "female" despite the "incorrect" genitalia, but I really wanted it gone. I hated getting boners. I hated the bulge showing when wearing women's jeans or leggings. I hated sex. Like, everything about sex made me uncomfortable because there's no way around the huge dangling mess that I hated. I just had to have it done. Five years into transitioning just made the dysphoria worse for me as well. The more female I felt everywhere else, the less female I felt down there. Eventually, the temporary pain and discomfort of surgery outweighed the constant pain and discomfort of not having it done.
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Oct 10, 2022 15:24
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banned from Starbucks posted:Sorry if this is a dumb question for anyone who remembers high school biology but how do you...invert a dick? There's like meat and stuff in a dick that has to go somewhere right? I don't really have the knowledge of the specifics, but essentially the skin of the penis is used to make the walls of the neovagina, and the scrotum is used to make the labia. The urethra is shortened and rerouted a bit. Some skin from my stomach was used to supplement where they didn't have enough scrotum skin. Medical science is weird and awesome.
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Oct 10, 2022 15:29
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The thing about dysphoria, is that it gets worse once you realize it's there. Once you have a name for it, it's like you've been fedex arrowed. I didn't realize being trans was a thing, or that it was even possible for me to be trans, until my late 20s. The more I learned and figured out, the more I could look back and explain all these little moments of my past that have literally always been there, but I was too dumb to realize. "There were no signs" is kind of a meme in trans circles, because it's something you hear from everyone, even yourself. When I first started transitioning, I even told people I had no intention to get "the surgery." This was, largely, because at the time I was working for a company that had lovely insurance and I knew I'd never be able to afford it. I didn't allow myself to consider it, because doing so would almost certainly make the dysphoria worse. It wasn't until I started working at a company that offered transgender care as a healthcare perk that I allowed myself to start thinking about it, which effectively made the dysphoria worse and worse as time went on.
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Oct 10, 2022 16:51
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Domus posted:I never knew how repulsive it could be having the wrong genitalia. I guess I just thought of surgery like getting a nice office chair, if that makes any sense. Like it made you more comfortable, but it wasn’t necessary. I didn’t realize some people really can’t be whole without it. Frankly, I can't imagine doing this on a whim, as if it were a nice office chair. I can't imagine anyone going through any aspect of transition on a whim. The surgery recovery and upkeep are intense. The non-surgical aspects are even more intense. I've lost so much in my transition that if I wasn't fully sure of every step of the way I wouldn't have done it. That isn't to say some people might transition for lesser reasons, or even just because they want to, and I support them for that, but for me? No. It's very much a thing I had to do. Bigger than genitalia for me was breasts. I'd stand in front of the mirror and cup my hands wishing something were there. Fortunately they're the "easy" part of transitioning in that if you start hormones they eventually show up to some degree.
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Oct 10, 2022 19:47
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Me again. posted:This is a really cool topic! How does a person who's middle aged and has already built a life even get started? Like, didn't you have to burn down a lot of the life you had built when presenting as a man? Lots of really good questions! Honestly, getting started was the hardest part. The idea that you already have a life built up, a career, friends, family, everything and that it could all disappear because you transitioned is terrifying. I've lost a lot since transitioning, but ultimately it was worth the struggle. The most important aspects of my life, my immediate family and my closest friends, have stuck by me. My family had some complicated moments (such as my mom telling me I was letting Satan into my life), but I didn't lose any of them. My wife, however, decided she couldn't be with another woman and we ended up getting divorced. Turned out she was less bi than she liked to claim, I guess? (But then she started dating another trans woman who came out as trans during their relationship, so uh, explain that one) Career-wise has been the hardest hurdle. I've been job hopping just about every two years since transitioning. Severance concerns are currently keeping me from saying much about past employers, which really sucks. I actually just got laid off on the 3rd, so it's back to job hunting for me again, and I hate it so much. As for "socializing differently" I don't think it's really that big of a change? Ultimately, the decision was to just be who I wanted to be, wear what I wanted to wear, and express myself how I wanted to express myself. I haven't really done anything different. I'm still the same person. I just wear better fitting clothes. Working and socializing as a woman just feels natural to me. It's who I am. It's who I've always been. It was honestly harder to work and socialize as a man, because it felt like I was always wearing a mask and being who I thought other people wanted me to be. Now, I can just be me. It's a huge refreshing change.
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Oct 12, 2022 16:21
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Space Kablooey posted:Hey I'm just starting to transition myself, (I'm 31, I found out that I'm trans like 6 months ago. It's been so freeing so far Congrats on finding yourself! It really kind of depends on the area you're at and your comfort levels, but for me I started presenting full time about 4 months from starting HRT. I was a very "rip the bandaid off" type of person when it came to my early transition. Presenting becomes easier the more you do it, so it was really just a matter of putting myself out there and hoping for the best. The biggest delay was because of managing coming out at work. They were really weird about the bathroom issue, and wanted to build a "gender neutral" bathroom they expected me to use before coming out full time.
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Oct 17, 2022 18:51
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) and I would like to know when you felt safe going out to do day-to-day stuff wearing women's clothing.
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Neuronyx posted:Assuming dysphoria means I feel like a woman in a man's body then what I said stands. Dysphoria is everything you mentioned. Just because it's not gender dysphoria, doesn't make it not dysphoria. Also, you can be enby. You can be a femboy. You can be a demigirl. There's all sorts of identities that aren't just binary masculine and feminine.
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Nov 23, 2022 03:38
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Neuronyx posted:Ohh. Somehow it never occurred to me to check if dysphoria was a thing beyond gender dysphoria. Well I guess that makes sense then. Disregard most of what I say I'm not okay. What is an enby? I'd do the femboy thing if I thought I looked attractive enough with the right body but that's not the case. Sorry, enby is Nonbinary. Basically, what I'm saying is gently caress gender roles. Do and be what you want.
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Nov 23, 2022 04:13
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wesleywillis posted:Question for OP and any other trans people here who wish to answer. I'm going to specify here that transgender women are women. There's no magic line that connects or separates the two. That being said, how I identify largely depends on the context. Most of the time I would claim transgender woman, for no reason other than I feel like it's good to be out and proud about that fact, but there are certain times I'd stick to "woman" to make a point, or because it doesn't feel right to further specify. Sexuality-wise, I probably identify closest to homosexual. I like women. I am a woman. I'm a lesbian. I'm dating another transgender woman. No interest in guys though. This hasn't changed throughout my transition, but some people report sexuality changes throughout transition.
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Nov 24, 2022 06:02
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Greg12 posted:What does it feel like to realize you're trans? To be trans before you realize it? Before you know trans exists? How do you know, and how's it different from just thinking that parts or all of the gender role assigned-at-birth don't interest you? So, before knowing transgender people are a thing that you can actually be, the best way to describe how it felt was just being miserable all the time. Eventually, that evolves into the realization that gender roles are the cause of most of your feeling miserable. For me this resulted in anger towards the patriarchy in a very "I'm just a really good ally" sort of way. Then, I realized that being transgender was a thing, and it was several years of wishing and wondering "drat wouldn't it be cool to be trans? that'd make all my gender fuckery problems make sense!" Then there's the realization that, you, specifically, can be trans. You could just say you're trans. But you're not trans, so you don't say it, but you could if you wanted to. This was my first taste of gender euphoria. There's an incredible amount of power in the feeling that you actually can make a decision to better your life, and even if you decide not to make any changes, the door is open and it's just right there in reach. And then one day you're with your wife at a Disney symphony concert and you hear the song Reflection from Mulan for the first time ever, and you just start crying in your seat and spend the whole drive home in uncomfortable gender crisis induced silence. True story. That moment I realized I was trans, and fully accepted it for the first time. It was freeing. It was like the veil was lifted and the sun is shining for the first time. Hopefully that answers the question?
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Nov 28, 2022 02:56
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The Midwest is such a poo poo hole for transgender issues but I'm probably stuck here. My solace is that I live in Illinois which is a sea of blue surrounded by red. Thanks Chicago. Grats to your friend.
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Dec 11, 2022 05:16
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my cat is norris posted:What is the biggest thing I can do to be an ally and support system to my husband, who has started the process of transitioning into a woman? Beyond just being supportive, the big thing to do is the moment pronouns change or name changes, be on it. My best advice in that regard is to correct/quick apology and move on if a mistake is made. The longer you dwell on a misgendering or deadnaming the worse it feels for everyone involved. It's the one thing I wish was told to me or I had realized sooner.
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Dec 15, 2022 01:30
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I'm skipping the trans masculine questions, because I'm not trans masc. I know some about the subject, but I'd rather a trans masculine person talk about their own experiences.Volmarias posted:If you've gained a neo-vagina, do you have to deal with yeast infections or things like that to a different degree compared to people whose pies came homemade? Yes. AFAIK it's pretty similar, but that's not something I've really, specifically, researched. Volmarias posted:Do things secrete, or is it all naturally kind of dry? Is lube required now? I can't speak from personal experience, yet, as I'm still in recovery and am not sexually active, but the answer is basically "it depends" to the first part and "yes" to the second. Volmarias posted:Have your orgasms changed? Is the smell different? This changed sometime during hormone therapy. It various for different people, but my body odor and genital odors became very different than prior to hormone therapy. Genital odors became more pronounced post-surgery, though it's hard to say how much of the more pronounced smell(s) are because of healing and recovery, and how much is there from just having a vagina now. Volmarias posted:Please [Tell] me about your day to day new genital experiences, and how they may have differed in ways both expected and unexpected from how you thought it would be. Day to day is hard to report on, as I'm still very much in recovery and minor complications are delaying normalcy. Dilating is the big "day to day" dealing that's new, and I should make a whole reply just on that. Long story short is that I have to dilate a couple times a day. I do this generally when I wake up and sometime early afternoon. Dilating is the process of using medical grade dildos to help stretch the neo-vagina and make sure it doesn't close up on itself like a gnarly piercing. I'll try to write more about this process soon (maybe tomorrow, maybe early next week?) Other oddities to report on: Peeing - quite a different experience! If I had to compare them, I'd say peeing like a dude is something akin to a hose with a nozzle set to the strongest pressure. Meanwhile peeing like a girl is closer to the nozzle being off the hose entirely. I never had to worry about pissing myself when I had a dick. Post surgery though, it's surprisingly harder to "hold in" when I "really" have to pee. Prior to surgery it was like having the nozzle set to off and the faucet off. As soon as the faucet turns on, you have to pee, but the nozzle holds things in. Post surgery as soon as my bladder's full there's a lot less I can do to "hold it." My understanding is that I'll regain some of that control over time, as I get used to using the muscles down there differently. On top of that, that SOUND is different. Every time I've used a women's restroom in public I was so terrified of my pee sounds outing me as a dick haver. Pants - girl pants fit properly now! Men's pants have extra room in the crotch area, usually, and that's not a thing for most girl pants. If I wanted to wear girl pants I had to be really picky, or do my best to wear longer shirts that hide the bulge. Or just. Not care about the bulge. (There was no not caring about the bulge.) Showering - no dangly bits! I have to admit that every shower since I got out of surgery has been better than the shower before it. It was incredibly euphoric showering the first time once the packing was removed. It's stayed euphoric every shower since. As the pain and stress and worry subsides it gets even better. It's just a huge amount of mental and physical relief. Sitting/Laying positions - How I miss being able to lay on my stomach. This is largely "still recovering" day to day but I definitely have to be careful how I sit, lay, stand up, bend over, basically do anything that stretches muscles or puts pressure down there. It's getting to the point that I don't have to think about it as much, but it's definitely still a thing I'm very cognizant about. Lady Hygiene Pads - Surprise unexpected euphoria! I pretty much have to wear one of these 24/7 because of the minor complications and dilation being messy. How good of a day I'm having is directly related to how clean the pad is when I go to the bathroom. While at some point in the future I won't need to keep wearing them, for now there's something very gender euphoria inducing about shopping for, buying, and using pads. Volmarias posted:E: sorry if this sounds like a shitpost, I'm actually genuinely curious. I've seen a lot about the mental aspects but very little about the physical realities. Honestly I've been expecting more questions like this, and it's clear you're doing so from a place of curiosity rather than, I don't know, something more malicious? I appreciate you asking.
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Jan 11, 2023 06:59
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Cephas posted:I had my orchi last month (!!) and it's been really wonderful. Grats! It's a great feeling. Cephas posted:Does anyone have a perspective on why they did or did not take the plunge and go from an orchiectomy to full-on SRS? Originally I "planned" on just having an orchi. Stopping the testosterone machine was my main priority, as was getting off the brain-fog inducing Spironolactone. Two years later, the dysphoria had lessened but was most certainly still present. The opportunity presented itself to have SRS, so I took it. If I didn't have the privilege of insurance and a job that was willing to give me the time off needed, and a support network of family and friends to help me through recovery there's no way I would have been able to do it. Basically: everything lined up to make wanting and getting the full surgery worth while. Cephas posted:Also--zero depth SRS. Does anyone have insights? From talking to people (doctors, nurses, other trans women) prior to my surgery, I chose full depth over zero depth. The reasoning feels pretty sound to me: 1) It's much harder to achieve full depth after a zero-depth surgery if you "change your mind" 2) There's more experience in the medical community as a whole regarding full depth 3) On the off change I date a trans girl who likes tabs in slots, I'll have the slot 4) As far as I know, and was told by doctors, was that it probably wouldn't affect the price, complications, or complexity of the procedure 5) I'm spending all this time and money, might as well "do it right" As a post-mortem I think I made the right decision (for me, the right decision for me specifically). Even with the complications and the dilation and the stress of healing and everything involved... I am happy with the choices I made. I'll do a bigger write up on dilation, but to touch on that briefly: it's really not as bad as I made it out to be in my head. It sucks. It's annoying. It's a chore. That's all true, but it's fine. Even with complications specifically related to dilating, it's fine.
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Jan 11, 2023 07:18
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I've talked about minor complications and haven't gone into details because it's a lot of TMI, but they fit well into this post, so be prepared for TMI. Everything about this post is probably TMI. You've been warned. Basically, the stiches came undone earlier than they were supposed to. This left two largeish holes in my left labia. You're supposed to have two holes. the pee hole and the vagina hole. I basically had four. two were "rips" from where the sutures failed.. From here on out we will refer to this as "the wounds." I had to be incredibly careful to not stretch out and mess with the healing wounds. My doctor wasn't super concerned. He assured me that as long as things progressed well they'd heal on their own. I just had to be careful and take care of them. I went to a few follow-ups, and each time they considered stitching me up again, but ultimately left it to heal on it's own. This was VERY SCARY to me. There were holes where there should not have been holes! I could stick my finger in them! The surgeon and pelvic floor physical therapist stuck their fingers in them! I also had a "tunneling" wound inside the vagina cavity itself. Basically the vaginal wall had a hole that you could basically stick a cotton swab in and out the other wounds. My surgeon and pelvic floor physical therapist were great, did a lot to reassure me, and I've seen them about once a month since being home. They were great. It's about a 4 hour drive to get to the surgeon's office, so we've been going up as sparingly as possible. In addition to my surgeon and pelvic floor therapist, I had a second pelvic floor therapist who was more local to me. I don't like her very much. She's way more cautious, seems way less familiar with post-op transgender surgery healing than my surgeon and therapist in Chicago, misgendered me constantly, and ultimately just made me feel more paranoid about my healing. I've stopped going to her. The other minor complication is what's called "granulation." Granulation is basically when your body is like "hey, i should heal that wound" and then never stops. I had a few spots of granulation both external and internal to the neo vagina. You "fix" granulation tissue by cauterizing the wound. That's as painful as it sounds. Basically, I had to get silver nitrate applicator sticks. Think a long cotton swab, but with silver nitrate on the end of it. Silver nitrate, when applied to granulation tissue, burns. A lot. I had a bit of granulation tissue on my clit. I had to put silver nitrate on my clit. Multiple times.  All of that is healed now. Everything looks and feels great. There's no more wounds. Unfortunately it brought about one final complication (oh god I hope it's the final one). Basically, there's a ring of scar tissue just inside my vaginal cavity. I have to "aggressively dilate" to work at "breaking up" and "stretching" the scar tissue. So that's where I'm at today. I have an appointment next Wednesday to see if aggressively dilating has worked, or if I need to have a follow-up procedure under anesthesia where the surgeon will break it up for me. The Dilation Post!!! Starting two weeks after surgery, my new daily routine began. Three times a day. Every day. Dilation, as I've said in previous posts, is the act of using medical dildos to stretch the vaginal opening and cavity. At the moment I'm down to twice a day. Eventually it'll be once a day, and at some point in the future once every few days. I will always be dilating, it's just the frequency of having to do it changes as healing happens and progress is made. Step 1: Select your weapons  These are dilators. Each is a varying size from a varying brand. There's four brands here. The yellow (4-1/2" length x 1-1/8" diameter), orange (5" length x 1-1/4" diameter), and purple (5-1/2" length x 1-7/16" diameter) set were my starter set. These are silicone, rubbery, have some squishy give to them. I started with the yellow, and once I could get it all the way in and not have it feel too "tight" I moved onto the orange one. The orange one is my "primary" dilator currently. The long blue (9" length x 1-1/4" diameter) and green (9" length x 1-3/8" diameter) are also part of my starter set. These are rigid polyurethane. The two "small" white ones are rigid plastic, 1-1/8" and 1-3/8" in diameter. These are not tapered, so the tip is just as wide as the base. I dislike these, but they're important for my minor complications. Here's a diagram of the final set. Very similar to the starter set, but slightly different sizes.  Usually you just need to pick one, but in some circumstances you'll be picking 2-3. Due to my minor complications I generally start with the small green one (1"), move up to the hard white one (1-1/8"), and end with the orange (1-1/4"). So I take out all three, wash them with soap and water, and set them aside. Step 2: Prepare the bed I have a supply of disposable incontinence bed pads. I put one on my bed to prevent me from having to wash my sheets every night. I have a reading pillow that I put against the back board for comfort. I have a couple pillows I put under my knees for comfort. I basically setup the bed to be as comfortable as possible. I then make sure my cell phone and my mirror are in reach, these are important! Lastly, I have a bedside table I put a paper towel on. This will also be important for later. Step 3: Lubricate I buy half-gallon tubs of lube. I go through a lot. You really can't have enough lube.  I lube up the top 3/4 of each dilator I plan on using that session. All the way around. So much lube. Each dilator gets lubed up and then lined up in order on the paper towel on my bedside table. Step 4: Photos Because of my minor complications, I was taking photos before every dilation session. I'd use the selfie camera on my phone and take as good of a photo of my healing vagina as I could. This was done to make me feel better. I could track progress of my healing wounds, and keep an eye on how things were going. Step 5: Setup the mirror The little mirror I have can stand on it's own, so I just have to situate it so that I can see my vagina to make insertion easier. It's mostly there just to get started, and I probably don't need it anymore but it's part of the process now so I just keep at it. Step 6: Insertion Using the smallest lubed up dilator, I carefully insert the tip into the vagina. It takes a couple of minutes to go from "just the tip" to "full insertion." Slow and steady wins the race. "Forcing" things in or going too quickly is a great way to cause new complications, or to do something stupid like gently caress up and dilate your urethra instead of your vagina. My pelvic floor physical therapist warned me that it was a thing. Don't dilate your urethra. The mirror helps so much with initial insertion. That's it's only job. Step 7: Relax? Attempt to relax for roughly 5 minutes. Every minute or so fidget with the dilator a bit to help stretch out things and see how it "feels." When you can fairly easily slide it in and out, and twist it, without it feeling like it's too tight, it's ready to move onto the next size up. Step 8: Removal Remaining as relaxed as possible, carefully, slowly, and patiently remove the dilator. Place it on the paper towel. Step 8: Aggressive dilation The second dilator I use is the smaller of the two white plastic ones. Since it has no "give" to it, it's great for aggressively breaking up that scar tissue I mentioned. Basically I insert the hard plastic dilator about an inch in, just past the scar tissue. Generally this dilator is harder to insert, due to not being tapered, which is why I start with a smaller tapered one. I then "pull" it to one side, stretching out the scar tissue as best I can, and hold it there for 30 seconds. Then I pull it to the opposite side and hold it for about 30 seconds. I continue to stretch out the scar tissue as best I can in all 8 directions. I do this for about 5 minutes. This part of the process is pretty gross. Breaking up fresh scar tissue is apparently a bloody business. Step 9: Regular dilation Finally, I take the last of the three dilators, insert it just like I did the first one, and sit there mostly bored for the next 15-20 minutes. Earlier in my recovery I had a bed desk, with a laptop setup, and I'd either play Hearthstone, Power Washer Simulator, or watch 20 minute youtube videos (The Charismatic Voice is an AMAZING channel, and her videos take about 20 minutes to watch, so they're perfect distractions). Hearthstone and Power Washer Simulator were good choices, primarily because I could do them one handed. Step 10: Clean up I have to be very careful standing up, so that I'm still basically over the bed pad. Whether it's just excess lube, or blood, something's going to leak out a bit as gravity takes hold. I stand over the pad for a minute, before holding it between my legs and waddling to the bathroom a few steps away. Once I'm in the bathroom, I can wipe up the excess lube, clean up the blood, and basically just not be gross anymore. Once I'm cleaned up, I return to my bedside table to get the dilators I used. Each one gets washed with soap and water, dried, and put back for the next dilation session. Epilogue The whole dilation process takes about 30-45 minutes and honestly is more boring and monotonous than anything. It's slightly worse for me, due to the minor complications I've had, but really it's not that bad. You quickly get over being squeamish about the whole thing. I'm sore for an hour or so afterwards, but it's fine. I'm still working on progressing to the bigger dilators. My overly cautious local physical therapist held me back from using the bigger ones, and now the scar tissue from the first set of minor complications, has prevented me as well. Honestly though, I'm not in a huge hurry to get to bigger dilators. I've met my goal, which was to relieve dysphoria and get rid of my dick. I don't have a penis-having partner to make sure my vagina fits well with. I don't have a "favorite toy" (yet?) that I want to experiment with. Depth and diameter are minor concerns, compared to the complications I had. The complications are basically gone now, with the exception of the ring of scar tissue, which I'm hoping is better enough by next week. We'll see what the surgeon thinks. Frozen Peach fucked around with this message at 09:06 on Jan 11, 2023 |
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Jan 11, 2023 09:04
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I'll be going in for a secondary follow-up surgery in the middle of February. I saw the surgeon yesterday, and he's going to do a skin graft to help fix the scar tissue problem. I'm really bummed, but at the same time relieved that it's getting dealt with. I was hoping it would be an out patient surgery and just take a day, but it's going to be in patient and I'll be up in Chicago for a week. So that's fun.
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Jan 20, 2023 05:22
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Follow-up surgery is today. Currently in a waiting room at the hospital, waiting for a nurse to get me for pre op. Hopefully it goes well. I'll be here in Chicago for a week, and a few weeks in bed at home after that.
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Feb 13, 2023 14:26
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Surgery is complete and I'm in my hospital room. Every thing went well and I'm feeling pretty great all things considered.
Frozen Peach fucked around with this message at 10:00 on Feb 14, 2023 |
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Feb 13, 2023 22:45
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Space Kablooey posted:Hey OP, I'm wondering how you're getting on with your recovery. I hope it's going well. I'm doing pretty good! Things are mostly healed and I'm roughly back to normal. I got a clean bill of health at my last follow-up and things are finally looking up.
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May 22, 2023 16:27
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BonHair posted:Thanks for trying to take on my dumb question. I am hopefully learning. 1. It's about everything that gender means in society. Gender is a spectrum. It's not just man or woman but any combination of both or none. 2. It's complicated, but gender dysphoria can be as much mental struggles as it is physical. Hormones alone do a lot of rewiring of the brain emotionally, physically, and mentally. There are medical reasons for keeping sex at least on a chromosomal level, as well as on a physical parts level.
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Sep 10, 2023 07:01
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My surgeon didn't have much of an online presence, but during the consultation the nurse litterally brought a book of photos from past surgeries. It was.... weird, but reassuring.
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Sep 29, 2023 05:20
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grittyreboot posted:Did you know right away that you had gender dysphoria or did you ever think you had more of a general body dysmorphia? It was always gender dysphoria for me. I didn't even make the connection that gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia were related until much later.
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Dec 5, 2023 21:57
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joebuddah posted:If you are attracted to females, were they understanding of boners/ ejaculation? I'm attracted to females, but from a sex standpoint I'm not very experienced. What little sex I've had has either been with a cis woman, or with another trans woman. So they were pretty understanding, all things considered.
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Dec 31, 2023 18:26
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