Ask me about how I transed my genders (NWS/NMS)

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Ask me about how I transed my genders (NWS/NMS)

Squibsy: Dec 3, 2005; Not suited, just booted.; College Slice

Volmarias posted:

Coming at this from the cis hetero white male shitlord point of view. Mainly, it feels Fine? I've spent a little time thinking about this ("huh, this trans thing. I guess I should think about it. Is this my experience in any way? Nope! Being a guy remains pretty much what I expected. Guess I'm good to go!"), and since both Gender and Sex are aligned in me it's a little difficult to disentangle the two. I would say that it Feels Fine? I have my gender specific concerns, and generally follow my societal cues as far as appropriate behavior. Personal concerns about appearance are mainly focused on factors well within my control (fortunately), and gender specific ones are pretty typical to my own. e.g. Should I have this kind of beard? This kind of hair? This style of dressing? Really, why shouldn't I wear cargo pants, the best of all pants?! It's also specific to your actions. Am I comfortable sitting here? Am I in a specifically gendered space, and if so, am I welcome? Should my behavior change to confirm to this space, or to specifically nonconformance?

But, it's something that's hard to really think specifically about. Can you describe how, for example, being Human feels? What the color red looks like? Shitposting (and furries) aside, it's pretty difficult to think about because it's subjective. How do you compare that, except indirectly, mainly using what information you've heard from others?

I would say that, insofar as it's a societal construct, gender mainly feels about how well you adhere to (and enjoy adhering to) what society expects of you for that gender. I haven't experienced the dysphoria that others here have experienced, which I'm thankful for, which means that it's difficult for me to say what feeling "Male" feels like specifically.

Sorry if this was cis-splaining, it's just one of those things that's hard to do because it's asking to self analyze what "normal" is and that's difficult.

This is a suspiciously well nuanced take from a cis man :crossarms:

Anyway, my experience of dysphoria was very strongly focused on my body, and the social aspects of gender kind of... revealed themselves to me later. I'm certainly happier now that the world by and large expects 'woman' things from me in my presentation and behaviour, but the base discomfort which really propelled me towards transition was all about how my body felt wrong. I guess I fit the old-fashioned narrative of 'woman trapped in a man's body.' It's a good thing that this narrative has become less centred, but I often feel like it's become quite disregarded as a thing that is still real and valid

# ¿ Sep 10, 2023 02:45

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 01:41

Squibsy: Dec 3, 2005; Not suited, just booted.; College Slice

Absolutely yes, that sounds fascinating

# ¿ Sep 29, 2023 13:00

Squibsy: Dec 3, 2005; Not suited, just booted.; College Slice

HenryJLittlefinger posted:

Cishet man trying to learn how to be an ally here.

I have a young family member whom I believe has been experiencing dysphoria for a few years now but it's probably coming to a head as they approach high school graduation and moving on to college. I don't think they're expecting a ton of support from most of the family but I want to make sure they know I'm unquestionably ready to be there, all the way up to taking them into my household if it ever came to it (probably won't). We're not super close but have a very tight bond (despite a 20 year age gap) if that makes sense. They already know I'm an ally in general I think, but don't know that I know about their gender struggle. So I want them to know with confidence I'm ready to roll whenever they do come out.

So I guess I'm curious to know from trans/nb folks here if and how you knew which of your friends or family wouldn't bat an eye when you shared your transition with them. Other than just being good supportive family and friends, were there behaviors, language, stuff that told you "Cousin Henry will absolutely have my back in this, no question?" I'm really worried about them, they're not in a good part of the world for this, and in my eyes they're in many ways still a kid. It's scary being a teenager anyway, I can't imagine how much worse it is in the wrong body/persona/identity.

Bless you. This is very sweet.

I don't know how or even if you can unequivocally signal something like this to a gender diverse teen to the extent that it would prompt them to come out to you. Coming out is - for most people - the most terrifying thing we ever do, and while we often end up looking back and thinking 'drat, why did I leave it so long, I had {people} I should have known I can count on.' For many, those early sources of support are tremendously valuable, and if it's one family member out of a whole bunch it can be even more so.

But even so, during that early phase, it's often very difficult to see outside of our internal questions and fears.

I would say that being conspicuously vocal about your allyship is probably the main thing you can do.

As well as maybe emphasising that they are welcome any time - just in a generic sense, not being too heavy handed with the 'if you're queer I've got your back' stuff.

They'll make the connections.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2023 10:45

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Ask me about how I transed my genders (NWS/NMS)