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nut

she says I’m the most bombastic child she’s had

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nut

*sniffs air* do you smell that? smells like vim

nut

my mom said miracle whip stole its tangy zip from me like peter pan stitching the shadow of another to himself

nut

mum please stop telling the cashier at subway that i've got oomph he is paid minimum wage and just wants to go home

nut

go to your room and don’t come out til you regain that pizzazz

nut

vanisher posted:

my mother told her hairdresser that I’m the zippiest pickle in the jar

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nut

the emptiest post

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