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The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?
Idiot billionaire baby elon mask is about to complete his impulse purchase of the twitter. He’s promised to lay off 75% of the staff. If you were working at twitter, what pranks would you set up for the new boss, who supposedly starts friday?

For example, you could move the CEO title to the bathroom door. Or you create his user ID to be emusk2 and tell him there was a previous e. musk at the company. Or you could wait until he buys the company and shut it all down and delete the servers and wipe all the backups and the source code.

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Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here
I would lead him down the stairs, OP. We would go farhter and farther and deeper and deeper and all the time we'd be hearing the beat of a single drum. And finally after a lifetime of goind down we wold be all the way at the bottom. There's no drum tough. And no drummer. Just all encompassing blackness and then I would cackle like an old crone and he would know that there is no afterlife. no god. there is nothing now. oblivion. Nothing.

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?

Literally A Person posted:

I would lead him down the stairs, OP. We would go farhter and farther and deeper and deeper and all the time we'd be hearing the beat of a single drum. And finally after a lifetime of goind down we wold be all the way at the bottom. There's no drum tough. And no drummer. Just all encompassing blackness and then I would cackle like an old crone and he would know that there is no afterlife. no god. there is nothing now. oblivion. Nothing.

I like it. But can there be a pool of Astro glide at the bottom so he can’t get back up?

Chef Boyardeez Nuts
Sep 9, 2011

The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

Literally A Person posted:

I would lead him down the stairs, OP. We would go farhter and farther and deeper and deeper and all the time we'd be hearing the beat of a single drum. And finally after a lifetime of goind down we wold be all the way at the bottom. There's no drum tough. And no drummer. Just all encompassing blackness and then I would cackle like an old crone and he would know that there is no afterlife. no god. there is nothing now. oblivion. Nothing.

This is why we can't keep good interns, you know.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here

The Management posted:

I like it. But can there be a pool of Astro glide at the bottom so he can’t get back up?

No.


Maybe, but you have to pay for it.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Literally A Person posted:

I would lead him down the stairs, OP. We would go farhter and farther and deeper and deeper and all the time we'd be hearing the beat of a single drum. And finally after a lifetime of goind down we wold be all the way at the bottom. There's no drum tough. And no drummer. Just all encompassing blackness and then I would cackle like an old crone and he would know that there is no afterlife. no god. there is nothing now. oblivion. Nothing.

This, but there's a half-built brick wall at the bottom.

Kirk Vikernes
Apr 26, 2004

Count Goatnackh

.

Private Cumshoe
Feb 15, 2019

AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH
fart while walking by him or in the elevator with him

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

Star Trek: The Motion Picture is a boring movie

Private Cumshoe posted:

fart while walking by him or in the elevator with him

I farted on the owner of the Pittsburgh Pirates and it felt pretty drat good.

Padical
Nov 29, 2004
I would simply saw off his shins whole he is sleeping and sew his feet to his knees, and then when he's awake and everyone is taller than him I'd make short people jokes at his expense OP

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?
Unplug his Tesla while it’s charging

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe
program the email server to automatically filter "elon" to "melon" on all messages

sigher
Apr 22, 2008

My guiding Moonlight...



Give yourself infinite health and they can't win.

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005
Probably tweet goatse, but that's not against the new rules, like free speech man

halokiller
Dec 28, 2008

Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves


but being forced to buy twitter was the prank op

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?

the holy poopacy posted:

program the email server to automatically filter "elon" to "melon" on all messages

This but program twitter to do it

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag
“Guillotine Me” sticker on his back

Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Is it too easy?

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth
Prank him with a tire iron.

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

Put a clear puck into the bottom of his coffee mug so it looks completely empty but overflows every time he uses the Keurig

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Force his Tesla auto drive to make a right turn into the parking garage, which sets the car on fire and kills him and all his passengers. :shuckyes:

pablo gbscobar
Nov 24, 2007

oh shit i got the snype

:wom:
Lipstick Apathy
Tell him he just got a DM from Dril congratulating him on his purchase of Twitter and epic posting prowess except its just that pic of him and ghislaine instead

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




give him a massage but don't jack him off at the end, he hates it when that happens!!

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
poo poo on his desk OP

its an alpha move and youll get promoted

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins
Vivisect him.

Panic! At The Tesco
Aug 19, 2005

FART


i would bring him a gift and say "hey elon, epic purchase dude, i got you something to welcome you as my new boss."

then i hand him the gift, and he unwraps it and it's just a piece of paper saying "look up"

and then he looks up and I just slap the poo poo out of him repeatedly until security drags me away screaming

sporkstand
Jun 15, 2021
I would punch Him in THE TEETH and then Conscript Him to go and Fight in Ukraine

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

Change his profile name from “@elonmusk” to “@somepedoguy”

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!
hide a real stinky poo poo in he desk drawer

Modulo16
Feb 12, 2014

"Authorities say the phony Pope can be recognized by his high-top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth."

I would trigger some automated script to check when he recovers his password to change it again so when he has to login again he has to recover the email, and then setup a trigger in the help desk system to point his correspondence to dev bill so he can’t open tickets. Then I would create a GPO to put a photoshopped image of that photo of him where he’s super pale, and then I would randomly also lock his twitter account.

Panic! At The Tesco
Aug 19, 2005

FART


i dedicate months of my work to becoming a model employee in elon musks eyes. i dig up mountains of information on him and use it all during this time to work my way into becoming his personal assistant. then one monday morning in a meeting i just suddenly start slapping the absolute poo poo out of him in front of everyone. i slap and slap and slap until security drags me away screaming.

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




constantly badmouth south african apartheid rule around the water cooler

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
Fill his desk with his internal organs.

Testikles
Feb 22, 2009
Release three pigs into his office labelled 1, 2, and 4.

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




hang a few grimes posters in my office and conference rooms

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Call social services and tell them a r-rambunctious fella got loose.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
Make it so he can only tweet something if he correctly identifies which from a grid of 16 faces are his own children.

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




park my plugin hybrid in the spot meant for 100% electric vehicles and pretend it was an honest mistake

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Buy a Tesla and fill the trunk with gas by accident.

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Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




always greet him in the hall with “heeeyyy, it’s ol’ musky” while doing finger gun or fist pump gestures even though he’s asked multiple times for me not to greet him that way

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