JOIN THE DORK ORDER: a byob wrestling megathread

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your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

JOIN THE DORK ORDER

pro wrestling is byob's greatest dream: there's music and fireworks when you enter a room, you are encouraged to wear a robe at all times, and any dispute can be settled by tossing your friends back and forth. as such, i want to bring the wonder of wrestling to byob and invite all of you to come along as we watch people rolling in tights in cool ways. i'm your guide through the wild world of pro wrestling, your friend sk, and i'm literally a pro wrestler:

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the reigning byob chill champion is ORANGE CASSIDY! ORANGE CASSIDY is a wrestler who is kind of hung over and wearing shades. much like the rest of us, he's good at his job and COULD do it, but he just doesn't really want to. a few months ago he had an incredible match against WILL OSPERAY that you should go out of your way to watch. ORANGE is a member of the BEST FRIENDS along with CHUCK TAYLOR, TRENT?, KRIS STATLANDER, DANHAUSEN, and ROCKY ROMERO. he is also friends with TRENT?'S real mom, SUE. as the current AEW all-atlantic champion, he has recently declared himself King of the Atlantic Ocean.

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world wrestling entertainment is run by PAUL "TRIPLE H" LEVESQUE. it was owned by VINCE MCMAHON, a horrible person, until very recently when he was forced out for being a piece of poo poo. it used to be called the wwf but lost a lawsuit against the world wildlife fund and had to change it. they do a lot of simpler storylines aimed at younger viewers, though it's gotten more interesting in the past few months now that someone who isn't senile and a sex pest is in charge. it's usually v bad, but sometimes they accidentally put two good wrestlers in a match and then it's really good. they hired all the best wrestlers and won't share with anyone :angry:

their universal champion and wwe champion is ROMAN REIGNS. everybody used to hate ROMAN, but he proved that he's a good wrestler so he's cool now. he hangs out with his advisor PAUL HEYMAN, his cousins JIMMY & JEY USO and SOLO SIKOA, and his friend SAMI ZAYN.
their raw women's champion is BIANCA BELAIR. she's very young and already a good wrestler. i like her a lot!
their smackdown women's champion is RONDA ROUSEY. she is a gross conspiracy theorist and a terf. the best thing she's ever done is get steamrolled so bad on live ppv that she never returned to ufc.
their intercontinental champion is GUNTHER. he used to be called WALTER but wwe loves to change people's names all the time. GUNTHER can chop people's chests so hard that it sounds like a gunshot and he's basically a brick shithouse. GUNTHER rules.
their united states champion is SETH "FREAKING" ROLLINS. he is a jokerfied wrestling guy i guess? he's very good at wrestling even though i don't get it.
their raw and smackdown tag team champions are JIMMY and JEY USO. they're brothers and they're good at wrestling, except sometimes JIMMY hits the rope when he's diving over it and kind of flops over. they hang out with their cousin ROMAN REIGNS and his creepy lawyer PAUL HEYMAN.
their wwe women's tag team champions are DAMAGE CTRL (DAKOTA KAI and IYO SKY). i don't really know much about either of them, but they're both good wrestlers so you should enjoy their matches please!
their 24/7 champion is DANA BROOKE. the 24/7 championship has to be defended at all hours, but usually someone rolls up the champion and pins them in catering or something. dana brooke doesn't do much but she's nice so i'm glad she's champion!
their nxt champion is BRON BREAKKER. his name is silly but he's the son of famous beefy suplex boy "THE DOG-FACED GREMLIN" RICK STEINER and is very good at wrestling. being nxt champion is kind of like being the best student in wrestling school. i'd like to see him throw people all over the place on tv.
wwe has like ten other championships but that's enough

wwe's shows are raw mondays 8-11 ET, smackdown thursdays 8-10 ET, and nxt wednesdays from 8-10 ET (i think). they also have monthly "special event" shows that you can watch with a subscription to nbc's streaming service Peacock for $10 per month.

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all elite wrestling is a new company that's more like old wrestling than new. it's run by TONY KHAN who also co-owns the jacksonville jaguars and the soccer club fulham. one time aew had a match where byob's chill champion ORANGE CASSIDY won by throwing CHRIS JERICHO into a huge mimosa. they have some problems, especially around giving more time to non-male wrestlers, but they also prominently feature LGBTQ wrestlers so i have confidence. people bleed a lot more in aew matches than wwe, so if you don't like that you might want to keep an eye out for it.

their aew world champion is JON MOXLEY. JON used to do lots of deathmatch stuff where they hit each other with glass and pizza cutters and stuff. now he gets to beat people up without having to lose all his blood every night which is good. he's a cool dude and everybody loves him!
their aew women's world champion is THUNDER ROSA. she wears face paint themed around day of the dead and it looks rad. she beat DR BRITT BAKER, D.M.D., a legitimate wrestling dentist, in a really good match to win the title. she is currently healing from a back injury, so the interim champion is decent australian wrestler TONI STORM.
their aew world tag team champions are "PLATINUM" MAX CASTER and ANTHONY BOWENS, THE ACCLAIMED. they like to rap about their opponents on the way to the ring and usually it's good. they recently celebrated national scissoring day with their manager "DADDY rear end" BILLY GUNN. BILLY's sons are also a tag team but they're so uncool that he hangs out with THE ACCLAIMED instead.
their tnt champion is WARDLOW. WARDLOW is what would happen if you turned a pot roast into a person. he is very good at doing lots of power bombs to people.
their tbs champion is JADE CARGILL. JADE was super undertrained when she first won the title, but she's getting better every week. as of now (october 2022), she's undefeated and on a 39 match (600+ day!) winning streak. people like to talk poo poo about her on twitter but she's better at talking poo poo than they are.
their aew all-atlantic champion is current byob chill champion ORANGE CASSIDY. he won the title from PAC, who is also known as THE BASTARD because he's a real jerk. ORANGE recently declared himself King of the Atlantic Ocean.

aew's shows are dynamite wednesdays 8-10 ET, rampage fridays 10-11 ET, dark tuesdays 7 ET on youtube, and dark: elevation mondays at 7 ET on youtube. they also do special events once every few months that cost about $50 each, but they're usually worth it.

there's more wrestling to talk about but i need to go to sleep for real instead of starting another effort thread today. i hope everyone will share their favorite wrestling stuff for everyone else to enjoy!

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# ? Oct 27, 2022 04:54

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# ? May 7, 2024 06:53

baka of lathspell

new Japan pro wrestling angles which come to mind as I write this post:

�the rainmaker� okada aka guy who always wins won again this time winning the g1 to be �king switch� �a bunch of nicknames� jay whites challenger for the world heavyweight title at wrestle kingdom the big big show

rn it�s the tournament for the first ever tv champion

bushi (guy who wears 2 masks) and titane (also wears 2 masks) hate �the united empire� tjp and fransesco akira cuz of their light heavyweight championships

elp and shingo are still fighting over the daddy gimmick

master wato especially hates taiji ishimori �the bone soldier� for his light heavyweight championship the most out of some other guys who hate him for it

jay white expelled guerillas of destiny for getting �the machine gun� karl anderson and doc gallows back. will they stay who knows but leader tama tonga was whites last unsuccessful opponent. his younger brother hikuleo now longs to beat anderson for his us title

a bunch of young lions like shota umino and ren narita are getting shots at the big time with big time gimmicks and matches

FTR who don�t even work there are the tag champions rn

the house of torture are still real & everything is EVIL

im a die hard bullet club mark since 2015 unfortunately

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# ? Oct 27, 2022 23:35

baka of lathspell

a good strat for watching shows without cheering is pretending wrestling is just a really intense play

i don�t want this thread to die cuz that�s a sweet tag thing & it looks dope

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# ? Oct 30, 2022 21:12

Mummy Napkin

I haven�t watched wrestling in about 6 years or so and was thinking about getting into AEW then this thread pops up. it�s kismet.

anyway, what the hell is dean ambrose up to these days?

# ? Oct 31, 2022 13:20

FutonForensic

John Silver appreciation society

# ? Oct 31, 2022 15:16

baka of lathspell

Mummy Napkin posted:

I haven�t watched wrestling in about 6 years or so and was thinking about getting into AEW then this thread pops up. it�s kismet.

anyway, what the hell is dean ambrose up to these days?

he�s being �the death rider� �the wild thing� �the aew champ� Jon moxley

wwe names are funny af. imagine calling a wrestler dean ambrose or neville or dolph ziggler

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# ? Nov 1, 2022 03:41

Heather Papps: hello friend

i have tuned into wrasslemondays on the byob discord a few times and wrestling is this extremely rare thing where the more i am exposed to it the more i like it.

when i was very young i loved it, but then was a cynical youth who got weird about kayfabe but fell in love with lucha, and then in my adulthood i realized kayfabe rules and have been slowly getting more and more into it.

anyways good thread humans are animals it makes sense we hoot and holler when watching heightened dominance plays. there's this thing in nature where the vast majority of interspecies aggression is non fatal and part of me thinks maybe people used to be that way, and that wrassle and sumo and stuff are some sort of undercurrent of ritualized combat that has existed since pre history.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Nov 1, 2022 03:46

Heather Papps: hello friend

baka fwocka fwame posted:

he�s being �the death rider� �the wild thing� �the aew champ� Jon moxley

wwe names are funny af. imagine calling a wrestler dean ambrose or neville or dolph ziggler

call me tugboat

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Nov 1, 2022 03:46

biosterous

FutonForensic posted:

John Silver appreciation society

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he/him

# ? Nov 1, 2022 23:29

biosterous

john silver is a member of the Dark Order, a group that used to be kinda sinister but are now a found family of goofballs. silver is pretty short compared to most wrestlers and has absolutely massive biceps, like he was playing with the sliders in character creation and made himself as small as possible with the beefiest arms he could

i like to see him suplex big people and then do a big happy smile

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he/him

# ? Nov 1, 2022 23:31

StupidSexyMothman

FutonForensic posted:

John Silver appreciation society

johnny hungie

# ? Nov 2, 2022 01:40

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

john silver calls himself the Meat Man and he is right

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Nov 2, 2022 01:43

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

BREAKING NEWS

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Nov 2, 2022 17:44

FutonForensic

your friend sk posted:

BREAKING NEWS

lmao

# ? Nov 2, 2022 21:44

baka of lathspell

there�s so much new japan for me to catch up on cuzza school it�s really rough

like 10 hours of poo poo has accumulated since i last watched

wanna take the whole day off studying & watch it all real bad

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# ? Dec 8, 2022 20:06

Dr. Honked: eat it you slaaaaaaag

what if there was a wrestler called MUNCHO MAN RANDY SANDWICH

^{thanks deep dish pete moss and Plant MONSTER}

# ? Dec 10, 2022 01:18

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

Dr. Honked posted:

what if there was a wrestler called MUNCHO MAN RANDY SANDWICH

can i tempt you with DAN SANDWICH

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Dec 10, 2022 01:20

Dr. Honked: eat it you slaaaaaaag

your friend sk posted:

can i tempt you with DAN SANDWICH

^{thanks deep dish pete moss and Plant MONSTER}

# ? Dec 10, 2022 01:21

StupidSexyMothman

baka fwocka fwame posted:

there�s so much new japan for me to catch up on cuzza school it�s really rough

like 10 hours of poo poo has accumulated since i last watched

wanna take the whole day off studying & watch it all real bad

ya same
every couple years i get this idea that i'm going to watch all of the tag league, or the entire best of super juniors, and about 2 days in i start to fall behind and by the 4th day or so i end up giving up

# ? Dec 12, 2022 07:49

baka of lathspell

bump for wrestle kingdom hype :supaburn:

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# ? Jan 3, 2023 21:31

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

coleposting

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# ? Jan 3, 2023 21:58

baka of lathspell

your friend sk posted:

coleposting

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I95HoxVPC0

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# ? Jan 3, 2023 22:44

baka of lathspell

idk where else to talk about this but I�m finally playing the new japan phone game & got a super super rare KENTA :supaburn:

before that I was beefing up tiger mask IV and lord did i kick the poo poo out of taguchi

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# ? Jan 5, 2023 19:51

Twenty Four

I've never really been into pro wrestling and I don't usually watch it other than like occasionally if it happens to be on at the bar or whatever, but I do have an honest question from seeing commercials and stuff on TV.

I think I get that as far as organizations go there's like WWE as the big one, AEW as like the second one, and some other smaller ones.

What I don't understand is the difference between the different titles they put on different nights or shows.

Like what is the difference between "Smakdown, RAW, nxt" and others, etc. From someone who knows next to nothing, I can't pick up any real difference between them. Are they just random branding names or is there an actual distinction?
To be fair, I don't actually watch it so maybe I would figure it out if I did but I thought someone here who knows things might be kind enough to explain.

# ? Jan 9, 2023 20:20

baka of lathspell

I can�t tell u about rwa or smack but I can tell you like if a title says heavyweight it�s heavyweight and if it�s jr heavy it�s jr heavy and if it�s open weight it�s everyone and u don�t need to do much work usually if u ever feel like pretending to weigh a 1000 pounds or whatever they�ll announce you as if you wanna say ur heavy enough to be a heavy

sometimes a title has an idea like you hope Americans challenge and defend the us title and that�s a safe title to take a trip abroad for a while but ultimately that stuff doesn�t get in the way of if it would just be a good match

also sometimes wrestlers form �teams� in which they �tag� each other and with this arsenal fight for the tag team championships. idk if you know this, very deep cut

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# ? Jan 9, 2023 20:29

baka of lathspell

also nothing is quite as exciting as a �tandem maneuver� in which 2 people take advantage of referee blindness to swiftly incapacitate their opponent in a technique similar to an assist in marvel vs capcom. a good example of a team who uses tandem manoeuvres is tmdk who are known to employ such techniques which exploit numerical superiority and associated tactical flexibility

next, a Stone Cold Stunner is when

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# ? Jan 9, 2023 20:33

biosterous

Twenty Four posted:

Like what is the difference between "Smakdown, RAW, nxt" and others, etc.

for the majority, RAW is wwe's flagship program, where they push the wrestlers they care about most

smackdown changes, sometimes it is live and just as important as raw, sometimes it is a pre-taped show and not relevant to the Big Stories

whether raw or smackdown is actually better to watch depends on whether wwe recognizes who their good wrestlers are, and if they let them do good matches and give them good stories

nxt is the developmental brand - originally it was just training indie wrestlers to be good enough, but then they started signing some incredible indie wrestlers so all they had to teach them was like "ok so work to this side of the ring more, because that's where the camera is" and they started doing more good story stuff. for a decent chunk of time nxt was 100% the best wwe show and arguably the best televised wrestling show

i haven't watched wwe for years so all of this is stale information at best

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he/him

# ? Jan 10, 2023 02:38

Twenty Four

biosterous posted:

i haven't watched wwe for years so all of this is stale information at best

It's a hell of a lot more then I knew and pretty much what I was asking! My takeaway from that is that it makes sense that if RAW and Smackdown can vary from time to time that they can be hard to tell apart to the uninformed, and why if nxt is basically "the minors but actually really good" means that it also seems pretty indistinguishable, again, to someone who doesn't know anything. I think I've got a bit better of a handle on it now though!

Thanks for the writeup bios!

# ? Jan 10, 2023 07:34

baka of lathspell

i know nxt used to be pretty good & I used to watch it myself but idk if anyone still says that anymore

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# ? Jan 10, 2023 15:31

biosterous

yeah i stopped watching nxt in 2019 when it switched from a taped 1hr show to a live 2hr show, where they also changed the camera work and general feel of everything to be more like raw and smackdown. fuckin hated the change, they added a bunch of filler to make up for having twice the time slot, and it lost a lot of the feel of the show that i liked. this also coincided with one of my periodic loss of interests in wrestling.

2018-2019 nxt was loving incredible imo

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he/him

# ? Jan 10, 2023 16:01

baka of lathspell

biosterous posted:

yeah i stopped watching nxt in 2019 when it switched from a taped 1hr show to a live 2hr show, where they also changed the camera work and general feel of everything to be more like raw and smackdown. fuckin hated the change, they added a bunch of filler to make up for having twice the time slot, and it lost a lot of the feel of the show that i liked. this also coincided with one of my periodic loss of interests in wrestling.

2018-2019 nxt was loving incredible imo

everything was so good in 2018 lol
why isn�t it still 2018

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# ? Jan 10, 2023 16:05

biosterous

your friend sk alerted us to this on discord and now i'm posting it

https://twitter.com/SMuehlhausenJr/status/1613014122517655552

saudia arabia owns wwe, that is the world we currently live in

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he/him

# ? Jan 11, 2023 04:56

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

tony khan's gonna tug tonight

Join the BYOB Army

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# ? Jan 11, 2023 05:00

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

You know who the best wrestler in aew is that doesn't get enough play? Nyla Rose.

# ? Jan 11, 2023 13:27

baka of lathspell

your friend sk posted:

tony khan's gonna tug tonight

ok I thought of a good wrestling gimmick. you call yourself �the tugboat� and you wear idk a cardboard paper mache tugboat costume to the ring. the important thing is that you Win Every Match, can�t be stressed enough, get the gimmick over

I�ll leave the nitty gritty to the fine folks in creative developmental tho

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# ? Jan 11, 2023 17:26

baka of lathspell

hw&c made me think about Matt taven

i just wanna say I�ll always associate him with getting kicked out of his own faction, coming back with a new and better faction that didn�t have the rights to its legacy theme and instead of their finisher being some crazy trip team move it was just 3 splashes from the top rope

he�s a perfectly cromulent wrestler but sounded highkey drunk on commentary

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# ? Jan 12, 2023 04:52

baka of lathspell

i don�t know much about Nyla rose other than she�s a beast but I�m so hype that like NJPW made stardom its woms division because every time those ladies wrestle it�s violet drivers and just all sorts of sickass moves for daze

beyond hype to see more of them on the reg

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# ? Jan 12, 2023 22:33