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Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
The Islamic Republic of Iran qualified for the 2022 World Cup by winning Group A of the AFC Third Round, finishing ahead of their rivals South Korea, who were the only team to take any points off them at all.


As a result, as of the last FIFA World Rankings, Iran are the highest ranked AFC team in 20th place, just one place below their upcoming opponents Wales and 4 places below the United States. This is Iran's 6th World Cup, and the third consecutive one, but they have never advanced past the group phase, and have only ever won two matches. Their fixtures in Group B:

21st November 4pm UTC+3 vs England
25th November 1pm UTC+3 vs Wales
29th November 10pm UTC+3 vs United States

Iran are definitely the underdogs in their group, but with the current form of their opponents, and the Qatari climate likely to affect the Iranians less, we could see a surprising result in one or more of those matches. Maybe a repeat of Iran's finest World Cup moment to date:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JC4QGalDTCU
(the third goal in this is extremely funny)

Nicknames: Team Melli, Princes of Persia

Manager: Carlos Queiroz

Former assistant to Alex Ferguson turned bizarre appointment as Real Madrid manager turned international management journeyman, Queiroz coached Iran at the last two World Cups but left in 2019 and coached Colombia and Egypt before returning to Iran in September 2022; the World Cup will be his first competitive matches since his return.

Squad:

Goalkeepers:
Alireza Beiranvand (Persepolis), Amir Abedzadeh (Ponferradina), Hossein Hosseini (Esteghlal), Payam Niazmand (Sepahan)

Beiranvand was the first choice at the last World Cup, where he saved a penalty from Cristiano Ronaldo in a 1-1 draw with Portugal

Defenders:
Ehsan Hajsafi (c) (AEK Athens), Morteza Pouraliganji (Persepolis), Ramin Rezaeian (Sepahan), Milad Mohammadi (AEK Athens), Hossein Kanaanizadegan (Al-Ahli), Shojae Khalilzadeh (Al-Ahli), Sadegh Moharrami (Dinamo Zagreb), Rouzbeh Cheshmi (Esteghlal), Majid Hosseini (Kayserispor), Abolfazl Jalali (Esteghlal)

Hajsafi is the fourth-most capped Iranian player of all time, with 121 caps going into the World Cup. Jalali is the youngest player in the squad at 24

Midfielders:
Vahid Amiri (Persepolis), Alireza Jahanbakhsh (Feyenoord), Saeid Ezatolahi (Velje), Mehdi Torabi (Persepolis), Saman Ghoddos (Brentford), Ali Gholizadeh (Charleroi), Ahmad Nourollahi (Shabab Al-Ahli), Ali Karimi (Kayserispor)

Jahanbakhsh is the most expensive Iranian player of all time, costing Brighton £17m in 2018. Ghoddos was born in Sweden and was capped by them in two friendlies before switching to Iran; he may be the only player at the World Cup who has scored playing for two countries

Forwards:
Karim Ansarifard (Omonia), Sardar Azmoun (Bayer Leverkusen), Mehdi Taremi (Porto)

With all three playing in Europe, this is one of the stronger areas of the team. Ansarifard scored against Manchester United in the Europa League in October. Azmoun is Iran's current top scorer with 41 goals in 65 matches. Taremi scored 20 goals for Porto last season as they won the league, and in 2021 scored an impressive bicycle kick against Chelsea in the Champions League:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmTi9bf6nV0

Politics:

There has been controversy around the Iranian team due to the Iranian government's response to ongoing protests against the government and the oppression of women; according to Iran Human Rights at least 326 people including 43 children have been killed. There have been calls for Iran to be removed from the World Cup, while the Iranian government have been putting pressure on the team to drop players who speak out or refuse to sing the national anthem (given FIFA's attitude to political interference, this probably would result in them being removed)

One player who spoke out was Sardar Azmoun, who posted on Instagram:

quote:

At worst I’ll be dismissed from the national team… that’s no problem. I’d sacrifice that for one hair on the heads of Iranian women. This story will not be deleted. They can do whatever they like. Shame on you for killing so easily; long live Iranian women
However, with Azmoun's inclusion in the squad, it seems that the decision remains a footballing one for now.

Barry Shitpeas fucked around with this message at 01:00 on Nov 14, 2022

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Mr. Mambold
Feb 13, 2011

Aha. Nice post.



Iran to beat Engerland and advance. Book it.

Loving Africa Chaps
Dec 3, 2007


We had not left it yet, but when I would wake in the night, I would lie, listening, homesick for it already.

:d2a:

Vegetable
Oct 22, 2010

Posting this thread is a violation of US sanctions, OP. Reported (to OFAC).

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Mehdi Taremi has had a really good season for Porto in both the Primeira Liga and the Champions League. I could see him causing some headache for the opposing back lines

advanced statsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC
I hope Iran wins the World Cup inshallah

Whistling Asshole
Nov 18, 2005
reminder that Iran has Ali Jahanbakhsh, who pulled off one of the most perfectly timed and executed bicycle kicks I've ever seen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvCZ7E5B8iE

death to the infidels

Mr. Mambold
Feb 13, 2011

Aha. Nice post.



advanced statsman posted:

I hope Iran wins the World Cup inshallah

I hope the men come out wearing hijabs, throw them on the pitch, and then the English, American, and Welsh carry them out on their shoulders to the roaring approval of the Qatari crowd. Inshallah, and hello, Habib.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
:d2a: Iran has good emojis

Backdoor Delivery
Nov 15, 2004

one cool dude


2 Time TRP Sack Race Champion
Still using the veiled Iranian woman smilie in the current year, real shameful stuff

Speleothing
May 6, 2008

Spare batteries are pretty key.
I hope Iran wins the world cup

qsvui
Aug 23, 2003
some crazy thing
:d2a:

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
Updated with the announcement of the squad

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!
Excited for Iran and the USA to join together in pursuit of a common cause: knocking the UK out in the group stage

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Zoran posted:

Excited for Iran and the USA to join together in pursuit of a common cause: knocking the UK out in the group stage

quoting this to lol when the US finishes last

Dave Angel
Sep 8, 2004

Zoran posted:

Excited for Iran and the USA to join together in pursuit of a common cause: knocking the UK out in the group stage

Don't forget Wales Cymru

Dave Angel
Sep 8, 2004

Would be weird if Iran and US join forces though, didn't Trump order a missile strike that killed their favorite general?

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!

Dave Angel posted:

Don't forget Wales Cymru

I didn’t say England

Dave Angel
Sep 8, 2004

UK basically equates to England in the global sense

Digital Jedi
May 28, 2007

Fallen Rib
:d2a:

lilbeefer
Oct 4, 2004

Taremi to win golden boot
Based on my Porto FM save

Moktaro
Aug 3, 2007
I value call my nuts.

Barry Shitpeas posted:

quoting this to lol when the US finishes last

Wales
Hezbollah
England
Estados Unidos

Bea Nanner
Oct 20, 2003

Je suis excité!
best of luck to this guy
https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/63696125

Mr. Mambold
Feb 13, 2011

Aha. Nice post.




May Allah protect him and the righteous lads on his side who also speak out.

L.H.O.O.Q.
Jan 3, 2013

:coal:
An actual good lad who means well

guidoanselmi
Feb 6, 2008

I thought my ideas were so clear. I wanted to make an honest post. No lies whatsoever.

:d2a:

The 98 Iran-USA game was the only sports game my mom ever watched and it was well worth it. Time for a repeat.

stab
Feb 12, 2003

To you from failing hands we throw the torch, be yours to hold it high

guidoanselmi posted:

:d2a:

The 98 Iran-USA game was the only sports game my mom ever watched and it was well worth it. Time for a repeat.

So about that....

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

The Iranians stood by their protest. YAY for them.

The less said about the score, the better.

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
It's happening

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
Iran will definitely qualify with a win, but a draw should be enough unless England lose to Wales

This seems like an ideal situation for Iran's tactics, play for the draw and maybe get a goal on the counter-attack

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Barry Shitpeas posted:

Iran will definitely qualify with a win, but a draw should be enough unless England lose to Wales

This seems like an ideal situation for Iran's tactics, play for the draw and maybe get a goal on the counter-attack

If Iran draw they go out on GD to the US.

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

Shrapnig posted:

If Iran draw they go out on GD to the US.

I don't think the math supports this

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Shrapnig posted:

If Iran draw they go out on GD to the US.

4 points vs 3

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

Shrapnig posted:

If Iran draw they go out on GD to the US.

If Iran draw they have four points and the US has three.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Hey guys I think Iran would be on 4 points if they get a draw, I'm not sure who thought they'd have 3.

FreeRangeHexagon
Apr 17, 2022

Barry Shitpeas posted:

Iran will definitely qualify with a win, but a draw should be enough unless England lose to Wales

This seems like an ideal situation for Iran's tactics, play for the draw and maybe get a goal on the counter-attack

agreed, but I don't like the idea of Iran passing up a chance to try and beat the Great Satan

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
So assuming Iran and Saudi Arabia make it through their groups what is the chance of them playing each other?

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

They'd have to be in the same side of the bracket and both make the quarters, so pretty low

ArmedZombie
Jun 6, 2004

:d2a:

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Stiev Awt
Mar 20, 2007


destroy the united states, please

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