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britishbornandbread posted:oh great the overwrought guy who doesn't even support England yeah he should be the op for it Four score and five thousand years ago, around the time the Pharoah Khufu ordered the building of the Great Pyramid, Men of England ventured to Wales to steal their stones and bring them 150 miles to Salisbury Plain, whereupon they would erect a giant stone circle that somehow now costs £25 admission even though you can easily see it from the A303 and it was already loving there when they built the ticket booth. Thus it came to pass that the world map would be centred on England, and they would get a free monument in every city. And many thousands of years later, although they left no written record, one would surely think that these tribesmen would be proud to know that an English manager is still willing to drag Stones many hundreds of miles around the world for no particular loving reason. A History Six years ago, Roy Hodgson left the England job after being knocked out of the Euros by Iceland. Who were actually a very technically good and well-drilled side, but because Iceland is small and never won a war everyone involved is to be considered a fisherman on shore leave, including all of the ones who played in the Premier League. All other options exhausted, England finally called upon its prodigal son and fallen hero to come in from the cold. Finally, Big Sam Allardyce nobly stood on the touchline like a callcentre refrigerator and watched an Adam Lallana goal beat Slovakia, before then being caught on camera doing a corruption while drinking wine from a pint glass, and promptly being fired after one game. All other options plus one exhausted, England just promoted Gareth Southgate from u-21s manager to proper manager, as part of the FA's ongoing mission to provide a route for failing English managers back into normal society. If you visit St George's Park, you may see Aidy Boothroyd trying to see how far he can kick a ball and then chasing after it, which is in discussion for the next John Lewis Christmas ad. Of course, the England job is a good job for a clown to have while doing the England job, so The Southgate was ideal for the role. Every other nation in the World Cup will be representing a football team, that may or may not be good at that point in time. Indeed, some would say that the allure of international football has largely been superseded by modern domestic football that features multinational squads drilled on complex tactics and interplay. But England is not a country, not a national football team, it's an ideal, an eternal Serbija that lives in the hearts of Shrewsbury Town and Torquay United fans everywhere. That one day they may have a country of their own, and that country will be built on shouting and various PaddyPower promotional stunts. Unlike Liverpool or United, who are nations unto themselves and boom and bust upon the footballing altar, England is concurrently a perfect and eternal state of boom, and also a perfect and eternal state of bust. It is always, always Coming Home, and yet it never must. The dog may chase the car, but never catch it. Which is to say that Southgate is now the second-longest serving England manager since Alf Ramsay, and all the young upcoming talents are now old has-beens who should be dropped for younger, upcominger talents. England reached the final of the last Euros, and went unbeaten in qualifying, but will definitely finish last in the group because they lost a bunch of Nations League matches which were in the middle of June for no justifiable reason. The Squad https://twitter.com/England/status/1590705917229551616?s=20&t=8O35ocBI6k_96FesWnHwxw Goalkeepers: Jordan Pickford (Everton), Nick Pope (Newcastle), Aaron Ramsdale (Arsenal) Jordan Pickford will start in goal, despite him having to have a little stepladder in the kitchen to open the top cabinets. Dean Henderson is not going, despite me pointing and nodding at him while he conceded more goals than any other PL keeper so far this year. Southgate will live to regret this. Defenders: Harry Maguire (Manchester United), Luke Shaw (Manchester United), Eric Dier (Tottenham), John Stones (Manchester City), Kyle Walker (Manchester City), Kieran Trippier (Newcastle), Conor Coady (Everton), Ben White (Arsenal), Trent Alexander-Arnold (Liverpool) All of these defenders are bad. Especially the ones you like. Midfielders: Jude Bellingham (Borussia Dortmund), Mason Mount (Chelsea), Conor Gallagher (Chelsea), Declan Rice (West Ham), Jordan Henderson (Liverpool), Kalvin Phillips (Manchester City) England actually have defensive midfielders now, which has helped to stop the eternal bust of battering down Slovenia or someone 3-0 while the fans boo any pass that keeps possession and then immediately getting ruined by Germany because all four midfielders are effectively playing up front while Thomas Müller gets ball to feet on the edge of the box. All of these midfielders are still bad, though. Forwards: James Maddison (Leicester), Phil Foden (Manchester City), Jack Grealish (Manchester City), Harry Kane (Tottenham), Bukayo Saka (Arsenal), Raheem Sterling (Chelsea), Callum Wilson (Newcastle), Marcus Rashford (Manchester United) League One's Ivan Toney wasn't picked to play at an international level, joining a long line of useless shitbags including Bobby Zamora, Kevin Phillips, James Beattie, Andy Johnson and Grant loving Holt who didn't get a call-up just because they stood up front and scored 30 goals for a club that scored 30 goals all season. The Group  England's group is most notable for all its teams beginning with vowels, if you speak some kind of poisoned demontongue where W is unironically considered a vowel. 21st November, 13:00 GMT England vs Iran 25th November, 19:00 GMT England vs CONCACAF minnows, the United States 29th November, 19:00 GMT England vs Wales Each team will finish the group with four points, Wales and England qualifying based on goals scored and yellow cards. The winners and runners-up will play the winner and runner-up of Group A, which is the loving one with Qatar and Ecuador in it, leading to at least one of these poo poo teams fluking their way to a quarter-final with either Argentina or France. May God forgive Mbappe. 
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Nov 10, 2022 20:57
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Squad looks as good as it can be, for me. Tomori winning a farmer’s league means he can count himself v unlucky, but helps when you don’t get sent off giving away a penalty in front of your national team manager live in stunning high definition. Gallagher is a lucky boy. I’m not sure if and when he would play, but I hold my hands up and admit I’m not sure precisely what type of CM he is. Back up striker to Kane is much of a muchness. I’d probably take Wilson, but he is made of quavers and Toney enjoys gambling on how many quavers are in a packet, so it’s best he doesn’t go. Ultimately, it’s a reasonable squad that I think could go deep if the draw opens up again - I fancy Denmark over in Group D instead of France - but based on FIFA Rankings we have the toughest group. We could 2010 it again, but I reckon if we get a good win against a defensive but resolute Iran we SHOULD be on our way. It’s coming home.
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Nov 10, 2022 21:12
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britishbornandbread posted:Squad looks as good as it can be, for me. Tomori winning a farmer’s league means he can count himself v unlucky, but helps when you don’t get sent off giving away a penalty in front of your national team manager live in stunning high definition. big fan personally of Tomori turning his back on the country he was part of the youth setup with so he could get capped in meaningless games for England and then not getting selected while the country he spurned made the World Cup tbh
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Nov 10, 2022 21:15
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That’s a really good point, had not thought of that. He’s only young, isn’t he? No reason he can’t play for England in Canada 2026.
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Nov 10, 2022 21:22
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Kalvin Phillips being selected is an absolute joke
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Nov 10, 2022 21:23
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-0u8kzzfro
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Nov 10, 2022 21:31
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britishbornandbread posted:That’s a really good point, had not thought of that. He’s only young, isn’t he? No reason he can’t play for England in Canada 2026. Or play for Canada in the CUM World Cup 
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Nov 10, 2022 21:36
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Loving Africa Chaps posted:Kalvin Phillips being selected is an absolute joke Why
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Nov 10, 2022 21:44
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Excited that Big Benny Blanco is going. He’s been exceptional for Arsenal this season at right-back even though he’s a center-back. He should start over Trent imo.
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Nov 10, 2022 21:56
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England's defenders and England defenders are really loving bad.
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Nov 10, 2022 21:58
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Absolutely nowhere near match fit?
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Nov 10, 2022 22:19
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NinpoEspiritoSanto posted:Absolutely nowhere near match fit? He’s by far not the worst in this regard and some of the others are insanely more replaceable in terms of role
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Nov 10, 2022 22:31
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NinpoEspiritoSanto posted:Absolutely nowhere near match fit? LOL same was said about Maguire last summer and he made team of the tournament. He’s a very good central midfielder and we have like three in total, he was even player of the year for 2021. He had a shoulder injury so I am sure he’s been able to maintain fitness, and we can easily bring him on in games when needed. I’m not really seeing who’s been cruelly robbed of a spot, here.
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Nov 10, 2022 22:40
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James Ward Prowse. 
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Nov 10, 2022 22:44
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maddison is the new grealish also Big Money is with us so its definitely coming home: https://www.theguardian.com/football/2022/nov/09/a-bold-claim-lloyds-back-england-for-world-cup-based-on-insurable-value
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Nov 10, 2022 22:44
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NinpoEspiritoSanto posted:James Ward Prowse. I’m taking the lad who was a breakout star last summer, earning a move to one of the best sides in Europe, though admittedly recovering from a shoulder injury, who plays in a problem position, over a free kick merchant in the relegation zone. Sorry.
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Nov 10, 2022 22:55
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For years I've brazenly posted at the start of every major tournament (even the ones England didn't qualify for) that It is Coming Home, and yet It remains stubbornly Out. So, in this topsy-turvy world of Winter World Cups, I declare before you all today that It Is Not Coming Home. Do your worst, fate.
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Nov 10, 2022 23:40
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NinpoEspiritoSanto posted:James Ward Prowse. JWP should have been in this team for years, international games are scrappy as hell usually and his set pieces are world class, Clive.
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Nov 10, 2022 23:42
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britishbornandbread posted:I’m taking the lad who was a breakout star last summer, earning a move to one of the best sides in Europe, though admittedly recovering from a shoulder injury, who plays in a problem position, over a free kick merchant in the relegation zone. Sorry. Rice can screen fine, you don't need two DMs on the pitch for the group games (or we shouldn't) and we've all seen Southgate's England play by now, as soon as a tough opponent comes up it'll be three at the back and playing the counter/set pieces. Being able to do back to back 90 minutes in a tournament schedule isn't prepared for by some cardio work while your shoulder heals up when your position is expected to cover the midfield and runners. When has it ever worked out for England taking a player just back or still recovering from an injury?
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Nov 11, 2022 01:16
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sebzilla posted:JWP should have been in this team for years, international games are scrappy as hell usually and his set pieces are world class, Clive. Jonjo Shelvey imo.
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Nov 11, 2022 02:03
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Remember when you tied  in 2010?
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Nov 11, 2022 02:13
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Vincent Van Goatse posted:Remember when you tied Yeah that's not happening. I fancy Wales to win all their games and England to win theirs bar Wales. Book it.
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Nov 11, 2022 02:41
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me and me mum and me dad and me gran etc
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Nov 11, 2022 02:41
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didn't read any of this but good luck boys
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Nov 11, 2022 02:43
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Loving Africa Chaps posted:Kalvin Phillips being selected is an absolute joke imagine leaving out this drip 
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Nov 11, 2022 02:46
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NinpoEspiritoSanto posted:Yeah that's not happening. I fancy Wales to win all their games and England to win theirs bar Wales. Book it. Eh, probably. I just remember laughing my way through that game at a Manchester pub.
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Nov 11, 2022 02:46
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I'm going to be in London for the USA v Engerland game. I should find a decent pub to watch it in.
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Nov 11, 2022 03:53
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britishbornandbread posted:I’m taking the lad who was a breakout star last summer, earning a move to one of the best sides in Europe, though admittedly recovering from a shoulder injury, who plays in a problem position, over a free kick merchant in the relegation zone. Sorry. in a short tournament, defending/converting set pieces is extremely valuable and JWP is really good at that
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Nov 11, 2022 05:48
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NinpoEspiritoSanto posted:
britishbornandbread posted:LOL same was said about Maguire last summer and he made team of the tournament.
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Nov 11, 2022 06:07
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Nissin Cup Nudist posted:in a short tournament, defending/converting set pieces is extremely valuable and JWP is really good at that So is trippier who is actually good at playing right back/right wing back
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Nov 11, 2022 08:48
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Interesting news about team selection https://twitter.com/stevenKloppLFC2/status/1590693561665982465?t=AWGipC_aHKqOUWz2uvz5oQ&s=19
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Nov 11, 2022 11:42
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Mate
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Nov 11, 2022 11:50
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Jose posted:Mate so much mate you should put a steel straw in it
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Nov 11, 2022 12:39
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Loving Africa Chaps posted:Interesting news about team selection now that's managerial skills
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Nov 11, 2022 15:15
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Toney >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Kane
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Nov 11, 2022 23:44
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Loving Africa Chaps posted:Interesting news about team selection Lol this Henderson vid in the comments: https://twitter.com/AhThfcah21345/status/1590732414535753729
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Nov 12, 2022 00:00
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Making my biennial appearance in this forum to say again, It's Coming Home Also good OP, op
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Nov 12, 2022 04:03
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Alctel posted:Making my biennial appearance in this forum to say again, It's Coming Home  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xeqvc6CWNY
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Nov 12, 2022 04:06
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https://dubz.co/v/1qdj6a
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Nov 12, 2022 16:39
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Just getting it all out before the World Cup starts.
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Nov 12, 2022 16:53
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