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Antivehicular posted:I'd appreciate some feedback on this piece, which is the same one I submitted to Thunderdome in August. The crit I got from that was basically "nice breezy little nothing," which is fair enough, but it doesn't give me much to go on. Is this worth revising to submit, or should I scrap it and go find 250 more words somewhere? It is nice, but it reads like a thoughtful Tumblr post and I mean that in the very best way. I probably wouldn't submit it as flash fiction. I feel like it lacks a twist in it to be memorable.
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Nov 22, 2022 01:31
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kaom posted:I said I would post this so I’m doing it, although it’s way too rough and long. Thoughts much appreciated, although I expect them to be pretty high level lol. I think this one suffers from not having a tight focus. It is only barely a story at already 40 words beyond the limit. It tries to answer the following questions: 1. Why does Susan want to be buried at the bottom of the ocean? 2. What is the bottom of the ocean like? 3. Who was Susan? (and why should we care) It's trying to do too much. There's an aside about the POV character that is pretty neat, but weakens the story's focus and is just unnecessary fat for the format.
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Nov 23, 2022 01:58
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