|
|
Instead of admitting he's wrong Brent pretends he just misheard something you said and that he actually agreed with you all along |
#
?
Dec 1, 2022 03:23
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 12, 2024 01:02 |
|
|
Brent may be a fancy big-city lawyer, but he doesn't seem to care much about obeyin' the law. |
|
#
?
Dec 1, 2022 03:24
|
|
|
Brent invited me out for coffee and not only did i end up paying for the whole thing, but hes imaginary so it looks like im just sitting here with 2 coffees talking to myself! People are staring now, great. Can you believe this fuckin guy? |
|
#
?
Dec 1, 2022 04:33
|
|
|
Brent doesn't understand the true meaning of Christmas |
|
#
?
Dec 1, 2022 05:55
|
|
|
|
Brent lives off of passive income
|
|
#
?
Dec 1, 2022 05:59
|
|
|
Brent didn't plug the block heater in and the work truck won't start. Oh my loving god, Brent.
|
|
#
?
Dec 1, 2022 15:00
|
|
|
I'm investing in Brent. This is an nft joke. |
|
#
?
Dec 1, 2022 15:19
|
|
|
god drat it brent thank you for walking the dog but i KNOW you didn't bring any poop bags you MONSTER
|
|
#
?
Dec 1, 2022 16:20
|
|
|
Bright Bart posted:I'm investing in Brent. Oh my god 
|
|
#
?
Dec 1, 2022 16:38
|
|
|
Brent tried to sell me a bunch of tools that he says I can sell to my friends for profit. He said after I get ten people interested I can set them up to sell tools for me and he only wants a percentage since he's getting the tools for me. I swear this better not be like the time he dragged me into an MLM scheme.
https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
|
|
#
?
Dec 1, 2022 17:02
|
|
|
|
brent asks for a "doggie bag" after every meal where there's even the slightest trace of food remaining, then when we get home he throws it straight into the trash while the dog watches
|
|
#
?
Dec 1, 2022 18:03
|
|
|
|
lets suck him off |
|
#
?
Dec 1, 2022 21:52
|
|
|
|
AI knows more of Brent's shame my imaginary husband Brent sucks and here are his crimes: 1. One time Brent said, "I'm married to that whore, Sharon," which I understood to mean, "I'm married to that slutty-looking slut that all the guys are hitting on." 2. One time, when we were at dinner, Brent said, "I'm paying for the whole loving thing. I mean, I'm just paying for the check." 3. One time, when I said "I wish you were dead," he said, "I wish you were _dead_. I wish you were dead." 4. One time, when we were at an amusement park, he told our son to put his fingers in his ears when the ride went upside down. 5. One time when we were having sex, Brent said, "Don't you hate to do it in front of the kids?" |
|
#
?
Dec 1, 2022 22:28
|
|
|
My imaginary husband Brent sucks and here are his crimes: One time, Brent moved out of state for work, and rather than travel or spend his nights alone, I used a wedding registry to get some money so that I could visit him. Upon Brent's return, he immediately expressed concern about the wedding registry money. He hadn't used it for anything, but it sure as hell felt like he had. He would use the crib for his wife and the couch as a hammock. He could spend the hours watching TV while I read by a perfectly dark window in my bikini, overlooking the neighbor's swimming pool. (This would have been an appropriate, but ultimately unkind scenario had I actually been wearing a bikini.) Sometime between 5 and 7am, Brent would turn on my oxygen machine and laugh and laugh at the sound of it. I tried to tell him it was, but I don't think he believed me. I remember times where he wouldn't even work on Saturdays. He would "let me get the laundry done". Or he would, but would then spend the time telling me how fun it was that I actually had to go to the laundromat. My husband's mother is fabulous and her birthday is today. He's probably playing the piano right now. Or has candles and a cake all ready for her. A bit of chaos, a bit of excitement, a bit of annoyance. And for a few moments, just a few, I'll say thank you to my imaginary husband Brent for my marriage. Thank you for being part of it. Thank you for being an anchor at the bottom of the sea.
|
|
#
?
Dec 1, 2022 22:37
|
|
|
Holland Oates posted:And for a few moments, just a few, I'll say thank you to my imaginary husband Brent for my marriage. fuuuuuuck
|
|
#
?
Dec 1, 2022 23:15
|
|
|
|
google THIS posted:2. One time, when we were at dinner, Brent said, "I'm paying for the whole loving thing. I mean, I'm just paying for the check." the nerve of him, offering to pay for dinner. man, gently caress brent
|
|
#
?
Dec 2, 2022 00:12
|
|
|
|
Brent, I uh...I didn't know the Columbia Record Club even existed anymore. |
|
#
?
Dec 2, 2022 01:15
|
|
|
brents last name is assblaster
---------------- |
|
#
?
Dec 2, 2022 05:02
|
|
|
|
if you meet the Brent along the road, kill the Brent |
|
#
?
Dec 2, 2022 10:34
|
|
|
My bad husband Brent, who is made up in my mind, has done so many bad things. I'm mad at him! Here is a list of the bad things he has done. 1.) He ran me over while we were still dating and I wasn't hurt. 2.) He'd take me out for dinner to say he was sorry for the crash. 3.) He'd wake me up to make a million trips to the bathroom because he would be hungover. 4.) He did NOT go get an ultrasound. 5.) He has driven to South Carolina to watch me give birth, but forgot to pick me up from the hospital. This was one of the worst mistakes! 6.)How about we just move to a new town? A place where people aren't sick! I really don't care anymore. I am tired of this stupid disease! I didn't ask for it, and I sure don't want it.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2022 08:11
|
|
|
How Wonderful! posted:
Me, re: my imaginary husband Brent!!!!!!!!
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2022 17:24
|
|
|
|
Brent. I am very high. Please stop making me think about the end of Zardoz. Please. |
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2022 17:35
|
|
|
Brent is running amok downtown in the Zardoz outfit scaring kids at the Christmas Market. He's holding yuletide ornaments up to his horrible pelvis and pulling faces. The cops are powerless to stop him. The fire department is powerless to stop him. They're trying to hose him down with the big hose but his moves are too nimble. He's whipping his ponytail around and taking out the bulbs of the Christmas lights one by one. What's worst of all is that great aunt martilda had set aside the Zardoz outfit to wear to her quilting group and Brent just took it without asking! Martilda had to wear a loving cardigan and flats. She was humiliated. Brent I do not have the energy to deal with this poo poo not now Brent NOT TODAY BRENT
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2022 22:49
|
|
|
|
Brent is building a religion, he is building it bigger, he is widening the corridors and adding more lanes
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2022 23:23
|
|
|
Brent only specifically uses the 9 button on a microwave.
more falafel please posted:just turn that impostor syndrome into "I'm Poster" syndrome |
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2022 05:56
|
|
|
Oh of course I have to work between Xmas and New Years because Brent already scheduled the time off. every goddamn year I SWEAR TO GOD BRENT
|
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2022 06:18
|
|
|
|
google THIS posted:You'd better believe Brent ate the last ripe peach lol that was a funny thread and on point for this one
|
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2022 06:50
|
|
|
|
Brent insists on being the one to drive to the airport, then on the freeway he takes every offramp and every onramp because he "refuses to merge". It's 4am Brent, there's almost no traffic, we are going to miss our flight.
|
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2022 07:19
|
|
|
Teaming up with my wife's imaginary boyfriend to defeat my imaginary husband Brent |
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2022 08:02
|
|
|
Brent read on the internet about an “advanced pooping technique” and he won’t shut up about it I have no idea what he’s talking abouOH MY GOD
|
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2022 08:16
|
|
|
Brent dumped the tea leaves in the drain, clogging it and leaving it for me to deal with. BRENT, YOU FUCKER, STOP SMOKING ALL MY WEED, DRINKING ALL MY TEA AND THEN CLOGGING THE GD DRAIN.
|
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2022 17:39
|
|
|
Brent writes letters to the editor about things that annoy him, making frequent use of the phrase, "the way this Country used to be." |
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2022 18:01
|
|
|
|
Uh, look, I know he can be a lot to handle some times, but could you please let him return home? I told him he could crash for a few days until he cam get his feet back under him, but it's been drat near a month now, he eats all my salty licorice, and refuses to put down the Sega long enough to look for a job. He's not MY husband, he's YOU'RES. Deal with him please.
Dr. Honked posted:the junk, rather than the trunk |
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2022 18:26
|
|
|
B33rChiller posted:Uh, look, I know he can be a lot to handle some times, but could you please let him return home? I told him he could crash for a few days until he cam get his feet back under him, but it's been drat near a month now, he eats all my salty licorice, and refuses to put down the Sega long enough to look for a job. Just put him out on the curb, he's god's problem now.
|
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2022 18:51
|
|
|
|
Brent claims to be accepting and inclusive but he is cold and distant toward his own children and deep down we all know it's because they're only half imaginary |
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2022 19:09
|
|
|
I'm adopting Brent and putting him to work at my taffy factory. He doesn't need to wash his hands or wear gloves because he's my son.
|
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2022 20:03
|
|
|
|
My imaginary husband Brent has been making the most terrible farts all through the house and it’s really starting to piss my gf off |
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2022 20:43
|
|
|
How Wonderful! posted:I'm adopting Brent and putting him to work at my taffy factory. He doesn't need to wash his hands or wear gloves because he's my son. That's good because he keeps leaving sticky hand prints on my god damned desk from his peanut butter and jelly sandwich that he stole from ME.
|
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2022 21:13
|
|
|
Brent says he wants to show me something cool online and then touches my monitor leaving greasy imaginary prints ALL OVER IT! Ive been using screen wipes all day but they aren't helping as i cant stop imagining all the imaginary prints. BRENT!!! |
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2022 21:24
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 12, 2024 01:02 |
|
|
|
my imaginary husband brent keeps recording college football over my wife's Murder, She Wrote episodes and if she loses the rest of the season she said she's leaving me for a man with cable |
|
#
?
Dec 7, 2022 18:24
|
|