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idiotsavant posted:my imaginary husband brent keeps recording college football over my wife's Murder, She Wrote episodes and if she loses the rest of the season she said she's leaving me for a man with cable I mean Do you blame her? Jessica is a good writer AND a sleuth like Columbo level.
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Dec 7, 2022 18:40
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My imaginary husband Brent left the stove on and thank gently caress it was my cast iron, Brent, and not a nonstick pan, Brent.
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Dec 8, 2022 01:27
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brent pretends to be oblivious to pop culture. seriously brent, you KNOW that mario is not a pokemon! |
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Dec 11, 2022 17:51
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Nosfereefer posted:brent pretends to be oblivious to pop culture. seriously brent, you KNOW that mario is not a pokemon! Prove it. |
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Dec 11, 2022 18:11
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brent fed the cat too many treats last night. brent also left my hoodie on the couch.
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Dec 11, 2022 23:07
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brent god drat it you gotta reload the toilet paper holder. ARE YOU loving KIDDING ME. not ONE roll left? BREEEEEEENT!
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Dec 11, 2022 23:13
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Brent disappeared for several days, leaving me to take responsibility for my own screwups. 
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Dec 12, 2022 00:37
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GOD DAMMIT, BRENT! |
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Dec 12, 2022 01:32
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Brent borrowed my Netflix password and then deleted everything on my watch list. |
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Dec 12, 2022 01:49
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Brent hid every single cup of coffee I've poured today. Then I found them all on the normally empty shelf under my desk. Where Brent definitely put them, not me.
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Dec 12, 2022 03:36
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brent did you do a fart in here. that is the only explanation
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Dec 12, 2022 03:50
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Brent poo poo my pants |
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Dec 12, 2022 06:30
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How Wonderful! posted:His horrible pelvis goddamnit Brent no one asked for a sequel to the hit HBO series his dark materials ---------------- |
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Dec 13, 2022 00:43
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Brent ignored the flight attendants at the end of the flight asking if people could please stay seated unless they were one of the 15 passengers who had a really tight connection to their next plane and took forever getting down his carry on bag and it probably made a stranger miss their flight |
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Dec 14, 2022 01:13
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when I tried to watch my favorite movie with Brent he spent the first hour poking around on his phone and then complained that the movie was confusing and sucked |
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Dec 14, 2022 01:15
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Brent will eat 7 bags of small bags of cheetos in a weekend instead of just opening one of the bigger bags. those small ones cost like a dollar a piece and are supposed to be for lunches |
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Dec 14, 2022 01:23
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Brent boiled your violin. It was Brent. |
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Dec 14, 2022 02:13
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it's a good thing brent is imaginary and none of his alleged crimes every actually happened
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Dec 14, 2022 02:13
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Kaiser Schnitzel posted:it's a good thing brent is imaginary and none of his alleged crimes every actually happened ... brent?
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Dec 14, 2022 02:16
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the greatest trick that brent ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist |
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Dec 14, 2022 12:05
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Kaiser Schnitzel posted:it's a good thing brent is imaginary and none of his alleged crimes every actually happened Thanks for that, Bront. 
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Dec 14, 2022 16:16
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My imaginary husband brent has been running an illegal canned goods shop out of the kitchen and now the whole neighborhood has listeria and the health department has a whole lot of questions and Brent is verrrry conveniently nowhere to be found |
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Dec 14, 2022 18:49
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Brent defrauded the feds out of $4 million in PPP money but he listed his wife as the accountant in charge of finances and now she's trying to make bail
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Dec 14, 2022 19:09
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Brent insists that the penis extender doesn't interfere with his official office duties, but it absolutely does. Also, it's not funny when he pronounces 'duties' like that. |
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Dec 14, 2022 19:12
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My imaginary husband Brent used my shoes to take the trash out but stepped in dog poop and tracked it all over the house. Now my girlfriend’s forcing me to get the whole carpet cleaned even though it’s Brent’s fault?!! |
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Dec 14, 2022 22:09
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Stoner Sloth posted:the greatest trick that brent ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist |
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Dec 14, 2022 22:43
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Brent always stashes his drugs in my carry-on when going through customs. |
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Dec 16, 2022 17:35
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Holland Oates posted:My imaginary husband Brent left the stove on and thank gently caress it was my cast iron, Brent, and not a nonstick pan, Brent. bu,bu,but the seasoning!
Dr. Honked posted:the junk, rather than the trunk |
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Dec 16, 2022 19:04
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Holland Oates posted:Brent hid every single cup of coffee I've poured today. Then I found them all on the normally empty shelf under my desk. Where Brent definitely put them, not me. why have a shelf under one's desk? that's where shins and knees and the horrible tangle of wires goes. Ok, granted also, sometimes budget amplifiers  Put your shelves up where you can see them, and kitties can enjoy them, please. B33rChiller fucked around with this message at 19:09 on Dec 16, 2022
Dr. Honked posted:the junk, rather than the trunk |
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Dec 16, 2022 19:06
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Goddamn it Brent. I cannot believe you'd mess with the thermostat! YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
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Dec 16, 2022 19:43
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B33rChiller posted:why have a shelf under one's desk? that's where shins and knees and the horrible tangle of wires goes. Okay, Brent said the same thing but Brent can see it which is why he sucks. The sides of my desk do not have drawers, but have shelving. My cat sits under there and occasionally bothers me.
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Dec 16, 2022 21:18
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Brent is like "if you cook I'll do clean-up" but then I go to bed and when I wake up guess what I find in the kitchen? That's right. Brent did a poo poo in the stand mixer AGAIN, AND there's still dirty dishes in the sink!
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Dec 17, 2022 04:11
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Brent convinced me to go in on a bank heist with him. It was a sure thing, I would go in guns ablazin, he would be the getaway driver. I did my part but as soon as I got back it comes out he never got his license and refuses to drive in case we get pulled over and ticketed. Of course the fuzz nabbed us, and now im facing 20 to life and Brents lawyer is throwing me under the bus BRENT!!!
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Dec 17, 2022 17:46
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| # ? May 11, 2024 10:44 |
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My imaginary husband Brent failed to open exactly one tap in my old house before the polar blast. That was the pipe that froze, burst and flooded my entire house over two days while I was away.
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Jan 2, 2023 13:41
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