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What best approximates your holiday experience?
This poll is closed.
A time of festivities with family and friends that reminds you of life and love 5 13.89%
A time of rumination and reflection as you consider your year and the next 4 11.11%
A time of quiet, cloudy depression where you fold yourself in shows and video games until it's over 17 47.22%
A time to smoke just so much god damned weed 10 27.78%
Total: 36 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

 
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LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
carl bless

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LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
:siren: b league preview :siren:

(all bouts subject to people missing weight, failing hydration or getting this covid thing)

ONE on Prime Video 5 - Friday, December 2nd

Main Card - 10PM ET, Amazon

Heavyweight Title - Reinier “The Dutch Knight” de Ridder vs Anatoly “Spartak” Malykhin

De Ridder is 16-0, with 12 submission wins. He’s making the first defense of what ONE calls their Light Heavyweight title, which has a limit of 225lbs. He won the belt last April.

Malykhin is 11-0, with 7 TKOs and 3 submission wins. He’s currently the interim ONE Heavyweight champ.

With Heavyweight champ Arjan Bhullar recovering from surgery, there’s no time table for a unification bout between the big men. So, instead, we get Malykhin dropping in weight to fight a high level grappler. Can the punching man defeat the grabbing man?

Welterweight Title (Grappling) - Kade Ruotolo vs Matheus Gabriel

Ruotolo is a little child-man who won the 2022 ADCC 77kg title, and ONE’s grappling title in October.

Gabriel won the 2019 and 2021 IBJJF World championships and various other accomplishments.

The grapple lads are at it again!

Strawweight Title (Muay Thai) - Allycia Hellen Rodrigues vs Janet “JT” Todd

Rodrigues beat Stamp Fairtex in August 2020 to take the title.

Todd is 39-11 in kickboxing. She won the kickboxing title from Stamp in 2020, and is the current interim Muay Thai champ, having beaten Lara Fernandez in July.

Muay Thai is rad. Let’s enjoy the rad title fight.

Middleweight - Roberto “Robocop” Soldic vs Murad Ramazanov

Soldic is 20-3, with 17 KO wins. He went 8-1 in KSW, winning the welterweight title twice, with two successful defenses, and he also won the middleweight belt. He makes his ONE debut riding a 7-fight win streak.

Ramazanov is 11-0, with 4 TKO and 3 submission wins. He is 3-0 in ONE, his last fight taking place in December 2021.

Both guys have not competed since December of last year. We shall see if there is any ring rust at play.

Welterweight - “Crazy Dog” Dae Sung Park vs Lowen Tynanes

Park is 11-3, with 3 TKO wins. He is 5-1 in ONE, losing his most recent bout to Abraao Amorim by TKO in April.

Tynanes is 10-1, with 3 TKO and 4 submission wins. He’s 6-1 in ONE, dropping his most recent bout via split decision to Marat Gafurov in 2020.

Lowen has been out of action nigh upon two years. That’s quite a spell to be missing from the cage. Be wary, good sir Tynanes, be wary.

Prelim Card - 8PM ET, Amazon Prime

Welterweight - Eduard “Landslide” Folayang vs Edson “Panico” Marques

Folayang is 22-12, with 6 TKOs and 2 submission wins. He’s 12-10 in ONE, with a lone stoppage inside the Circle. He most recently competed in March, defeating John Wayne Parr in a Muay Thai bout. On the MMA side, he’s lost his last 4, his last win coming in 2019.

Marques is 10-2 with 6 TKO wins. He’s 1-2 in ONE, losing both bouts by knockout. His most recent fight was a decision win in June.

Let us play the game, “How cooked is Folayang?”

Flyweight (Muay Thai) - Amber Kitchen vs Jackie Buntan

Kitchen is 0-2 in her ONE Muay Thai career, losing both bouts by decision.

Buntan has a 3-1 ONE Muay Thai record, losing her last bout to literal child Smilla Sundell in April.

Kitchen is probably a warm body for Buntan to work like a not-particularly heavy bag.

179 lb Catchweight (Grappling) - Tye Ruotolo vs Marat “Cobra” Gafurov

Tye is the twin bro of Kade.

Garf is a DagMan with a Wushu/Sanda background. He does have 12 MMA wins by submission.

Small child vs angry man nearly 20 years older? Ok.

Strawweight - Heqin “Fighting Sister” Lin vs Denice “The Menace” Zamboanga

Lin is 15-4, with 7 TKO wins. She is 2-2 in ONE, losing her most recent bout to Itsuki Hirata in August.

Zamboanga is 8-2 with 2 TKOs and 3 submission wins. She is 3-2 in ONE, losing her last bout to Seo Hee Ham back in March (She’s actually 0-2 vs Ham in her last two).

Zamboanga has a good shot to win this since she isn’t fighting Hamderlei.

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
OH poo poo ANOTHER ONE? YEAHHHHHH, BUDDY!

:siren: b league preview :siren:

ONE 164 - Saturday, December 3

Main Card - 7:30 AM ET, YouTube

Flyweight Title - Joshua “The Passion” Pacio vs Jarred “The Monkey God” Brooks

Pacio is 20-3 with 7 TKO and 9 submission wins. He’s 11-3 in ONE, and is the two-time 125lb champ, with 3 successful defenses of the belt. He’s currently on a 4 fight win streak, dating back to 2019, though his last bout was in September 2021.

Brooks is 19-2 with 2 TKO and 8 submission wins. He went 2-2 in UFC, where he famously knocked himself out in a botched slam attempt. He is 3-0 in ONE, most recently winning in April by rear naked choke.

This bout was scheduled for June, but Brooks had to pull out due to injury. Everybody seems ship shape now, though, so hell yeah, let’s go The Little Guys!

Bantamweight Grand-Prix Final (Muay Thai) - Superlek “The Kicking Machine” Kiatmoo9 vs Panpayak “The Angel Warrior” Jitmuangnon

Superlek boasts a 130-29 kickboxing record. He is a former two-time Lumpinee Stadium champ, at 115lbs in 2012 and at 118lbs in 2013. He won his first bout in the Grand Prix by decision, then secured his spot in the finals with an elbow knockout in the semis.

Panpayak is 248-41 in kickboxing, is the former two-time 2014 118lbs Lumpinee Stadium champ, the former two-time 2015 126lbs Lumpinee Stadium Champ, and the 2013 - 2015 Sports Writers of Thailand Fighter of the Year. He entered the Grand Prix as a replacement for Rodtang, knocking out Savvas Michael in the semi-finals to head to the finals.

Panpayak is up 4-2-1 lifetime against Superlek.

Heavyweight - Brandon “The Truth” Vera vs Amir Aliakbari

Vera is 16-9 with 11 TKO wins (And 6 TKO losses). He’s the former ONE heavyweight champ, with two successful defenses. He went 8-7 in UFC, and is currently 4-2 in ONE, having lost his last two bouts, both by second round TKOs.

Aliakbari is 11-3 with 8 TKO wins, and all his losses also coming by strike-based stoppage. He has a 5-1 Rizin record, and is 1-2 in ONE, finally ending his losing streak in August with a second round TKO.

Brandon Vera is 45 god drat years old and is fighting a steroid-enhanced wrestler 11 years his junior. This might be as bad as the time Jon Jones broke his face in twain with an elbow.

Bantamweight - Geje “Gravity” Eustaquio vs Yong “Wolf Warrior” Hu

Eustaquio is 14-8, with 3 TKO and 2 submission wins. He’s got an 11-7 record in ONE, and is a former ONE bantamweight champ. He’s currently on a two-fight win streak, but his latest bout came in 2020.

Hu is 9-4 with 5 TKO wins. He is 5-1 in ONE, having only lost in his latest bout, dropping a decision to Yuya Wakamatsu in December 2021.

Both guys have been out of action for at least a year, so we’ll see how much they’ve improved during this time off.

Featherweight - Jeremy “The Juggernaut” Pacatiw vs Tial “The Dragon Leg” Thang

Pacatiw is 11-5, with 2 TKO and 2 sub wins. He’s 1-1 in ONE, losing his most recent bout to Fabricio de Andrade via knee to the body in February.

Thang is 3-1, with one win by stoppage. All of his fights so far have been in ONE. His last fight was a no contest after an accidental groin strike, and his most recent fight to have a definitive outcome was a decision loss for Thang.

Pacatiw has far more experience than Thang, and he’s also 3 years younger, so he’s got the youth advantage as well.

Featherweight - Jhanlo Mark “The Machine” Sangiao vs Matias Farinelli

Sangiao is 4-0 with 1 TKO and three straight RNC finishes.

Farinelli is 5-0, all wins by submission. He’s making his first appearance outside of his native Argentina.

Two sub guys gonna scramble upon each other.

Prelim Card - 5:30 AM ET, YouTube

Bantamweight (Muay Thai) - Tagir Khalilov vs Chorfah Tor Sangtiannoi

Khalilov is 0-2 in ONE kickboxing.

Sangtiannoi is a Muay Thai fighter who has participated in Muay Thai fights.

Muay Thai!

Featherweight - Adonis “The Lion” Sevilleno vs Drex “The T-Rex” Zamboanga

Sevilleno is 2-2, and has lost one, won one. Bad news, he most recently won a fight (In 2019)

Zamboanga is 13-5, with 5 TKOs and 7 sub wins. He’s on a three fight, three finish win streak, including his 2 most recent inside the ONE Circle.

Drex is going to wrex this guy.

Strawweight (Muay Thai) - Lara “Pizza Power” Fernandez vs Daokongfah Banchamek

Fernandez has a 40-14 kickboxing record. She’s the former WBC Muay Thai 52kg champ. She lost her ONE debut to Janet Todd in a bid for the interim “atomweight” title.

Banchamek is 0-1 in ONE’s Muay Thai division.

Pizza power!

Heavyweight - Zhasur Mirzamukhamedov vs Oumar “Reug Reug” Kane

Mirzamukhamedov is 6-0 with 1 TKO and 2 submission wins. He’s 1-0 in ONE, defeating Duke Didier in June.

Reug Reug is 4-1, all fights ending prior to the conclusion of the second round by TKO. He’s 3-1 in ONE, and bounced back from his lone defeat with a TKO win in September.

REUG REUG, my large son has returned!

Flyweight - Jenelyn Olsim vs Bo Meng

Olsim is 6-3 with 2 submission wins, and 2 submission losses. She’s 4-2 in ONE, winning her last bout in June by decision.

Meng is 19-6 with 7 TKOs and 6 submission wins. She’s 3-2 in ONE, and has lost her last two bouts inside the world famous Circle.

Oh poo poo, MENG! Beware the Tongan Death Grip, Jenelyn!

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
lol, perhaps even lmao

https://twitter.com/NicoSCMP/status/1598587985221779456?t=SP7hrUK4ASs4Ph7dUvf8HQ&s=19

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
gdt for the weekend of fite

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4018905

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Ponzi has been spared

For now

https://twitter.com/bokamotoESPN/status/1599841603296055297?t=5TZu_lrYnF2nrqM77tL5Cg&s=19

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Carl bless

also, i want to note that Paddy went on a podcast to complain about Ariel Helwani "exploiting fighters in order to make money" (because Ariel doesn't pay his guests for interviews)

Paddy said this on a podcast with Dana White.

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Darren Till bravely continues his win strike until his dear friend, Jair Bolsonaro, is cured of the 48 strains of Covid rampaging through his body. No victory shall come to Darren, Till Bolso is healthy. So admirable

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
there was also that time during the fox deal when ariel was paid by both fox and ufc to be a "journalist" and acted like getting paid by the ufc to cover the ufc wasn't any kind of conflict of interest

Also, the more damning thing about the Brock Debacle (Brockbacle) is him getting booted also meant Esther Lin and Casey Leydon were barred from covering UFC in person for a bit and they are good and cool, which isn't fair to them

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
once again, i come in after carl's good breakdown with a bad :siren: b league preview :siren:

Bellator 289 - Friday, December 9

Main Card - 9PM ET, ShowTime

Interim Bantamweight Title and Bantamweight Gran Prix (Semi-Final) - Raufeon “Supa” Stots vs Danny “The Italian Gangster” Sabatello

Stots is 18-1 with 4 TKO and 4 submission wins. His lone loss came in 2017, a 15-second knockout via spinning backfist against Merab Dvalishvilil on the regional scene. He’s rattled off 10 straight since then, including going 6-0 in Bellator. He captured the interim title in the quarter-finals of the Grand Prix via third round head kick KO on Juan Archuleta in April.

Sabatello is 13-1, with 3 TKO and 4 submission wins. His lone loss came against Irwin “Please Remember to Get Some Sleep so You Don’t Attempt to Murder Your Family Members” Rivera via fourth round TKO in Titan FC in 2019. He’s won 7 in a row since then, including his 3 Bellator bouts.

Bellator has tried many, many times to find Their Guy. Usually, Their Guy is a flawed imitation of UFC’s Guy, like Michael Page and James Gallagher being Bellator Guys for Conor McGregor (Brash, from across the Atlantic, for MVP - a deadly counter striker, for Gallagher - a dumb chest tattoo). Now it feels like Bellator is trying again with Sabatello as Their Guy. He’s a loudmouth American with ridiculous dyed hair. He’s the Sean O’Malley we have at WinStar World Casino in Thackerville, Oklahoma. For these crimes, I must wholeheartedly endorse Raufeon Stots for devastating victory.

Flyweight Title - Liz “Girl-Rilla” Carmouche vs Juliana Velasquez

Carmouche is 17-7 with 8 TKO and 3 submission wins. She’s putting the finishing touches on her 12th year of pro MMA competition. She’s got a win over Valentina Shevchenko in both womens’ early days. She went 2-2 in StrikeForce, 2-0 in Invicta, 5-5 in UFC, and is now 4-0 in Bellator. She captured the Flyweight title in April with a crucifix TKO.

Velasquez is 12-1, with 4 TKO and 1 submission wins. She’s 7-1 in Bellator, her lone loss coming to Carmouche in April. As evidenced by her lack of nickname, Velasquez has nothing interesting about her at all.

Look, we can all be honest. Carmouche’s stoppage win was kind of weak. Would 13 more seconds to end the round have been devastating for Velasquez to take? It seems unlikely, but maybe hearing the 10-second clapper would have spurred Liz on to drop more forceful elbows.

Bantamweight Grand Prix (Semi-Final) - Magomed “Tiger” Magomedov vs Patchy “No Love” Mix

Magomedov is 19-2, boasting 4 TKO and 9 submission wins. He split a pair of bouts against Petr Yan on the Russian regional scene in 2016 - 2017. He’s 3-1 in Bellator, having lost to Raufeon Stots in 2021, but rebounding with a win by 4th round guillotine choke over Enrique Barzola in June in the Grand Prix.

Mix is 16-1 with 1 TKO and 11 submission wins. He’s 5-1 in Bellator, losing to Juan Archuleta for the then-vacant Bantamweight title. He’s now on a 3-fight win streak, including a huge upset win over Kyoji Horiguchi in the Grand Prix.

We’ve got two accomplished grapplers going at it. Magomedov, unsurprisingly, is a classic Dagestan Man, who utilizes various brutal means with which to Smesh opponents. Mix does have a wrestling background, but he’s very good at becoming a Jansport made of flesh as he takes backs and strangles his opponents. Normally, I’d say this would be a tepid kickboxing contest. However, a DagMan, especially with two Magomeds in his name, has no fear of another man’s ground game, so expect some wild scrambles in this one.

Middleweight - Dalton “Hercules” Rosta vs Anthony “Sugafoot” Adams

Rosta is 7-0 with 4 TKO wins. All of his pro fights have taken place inside the Bellator Circlegon.

Adams is 9-2 with 1 TKO win. Since 2019, he’s had 3 bouts actually take place, with another 9 scheduled that never happened. He’s on a one fight win streak, having dropped his previous bout to Impa Kasanganay on the Contender Series in 2020.

Rosta is far more active, so assuming Adams makes it to the cage, I think Dalton wins this one.

Prelims - 5:25 PM ET, YouTube

Flyweight - Denise “Miss Dynamite” Kielholtz vs Ilara “Arya Stark” Joanne

Kielholtz is 6-4, with 2 TKO and 3 submission wins, and 3 submission losses. She went 4-1 in Bellator Kickboxing (Remember that? Lol), and is 6-3 in Bellator MMA, having lost her two most recent MMA contests.

Joanne is 10-6, with 4 TKO and 3 sub wins. She’s 2-2 in Bellator, beating Bec Rawlings (Remember her? Lol) and Alejandra Lara in between losing to Kana Watanabe and Vanessa Porto.

Both fighters have lost to Kana Watanabe, so they can commiserate over that shared failure after the fight.

Welterweight - Kyle Crutchmer vs Jaleel “The Realest” Willis

Crutchmer is 9-1, with 1 TKO and 3 submission wins. He’s 5-1 in Bellator, his lone loss coming by decision to Kemran Lachinov in 2020. Since then, he has won three in a row.

Willis is 15-4 with 5 TKO wins. He popped up briefly in WSoF and Bellator in 2016, winning single fights in those promotions by decision. He went 3-2 in LFA, and is now back in Bellator, currently 2-2 in his second go, having lost his last two bouts.

Crutchmer is a wrestler who’s giving up 2 inches in height and 6 inches in reach. But, y’know, he’s a highly accomplished wrestler, and thus, is a terrifying cube of meat.

Featherweight - Cody Law vs Cris “Sunshine” Lencioni

Law has fought all of his pro career in Bellator, going 6-1, with 4 TKO and 1 submission wins. He lost his most recent bout, dropping a decision to James Gonzalez in June.

Lencioni is 9-3 with 5 submission wins. He went 4-2 in Bellator from 2017 - 2020, ending his run on a 3-fight win streak. He’s won his two most recent bouts in various regional promotions.

Law is an accomplished wrestler, and on Lencioni’s Tapology page, his Foundation Style is listed as “Shakes that’ll make you quake”. They are not the same.

Featherweight - Kevin “Game Time” Boehm vs Kai “Fighting Hawaiian” Kamaka III

Boehm is 9-5, with 4 TKO and 1 submission win. He’s 0-1 in Bellator, having gotten choked out in his debut in July.

Kamaka is also 9-5, with a lone submission win on his record. He went 2-0 in his first Bellator stint that ended in 2019, went 1-2 in the UFC, and now is back in Bellator with a 1-1 record on this new run.

Kai Kamaka III, finish a fight challenge (Impossible Difficulty)

Welterweight - Mark Lemminger vs Michael “The Don” Lombardo

Lemminger is 12-5 with 5 TKO and 4 submission wins, and 3 TKO losses. He’s 2-4 in Bellator, in a weird, unsustainable “win one, lose two” set up. Luckily, he just lost the final bout of his pair, so he should be in good shape.

Lombardo is 12-3 with 4 TKO and 3 submission wins. He lost to Kyle Daukus on the Contender Series in 2019, then beat Korey Kuppe in 2020, but it was by decision, so clearly he isn’t good enough for a UFC contract that pays a bowl of thistles for the next six years. He won via first round Leg Kick TKO (Who has ever heard of such a thing???) in PFL in 2021, and most recently dropped a decision to Kyle Crutchmer in his Bellator debut back in April.

Lombardo really struggles against the Kyles of the world, huh?

Middleweight - Patrick Downey vs Christian “The Vanilla Gorilla” Echols

Downey is 1-0, winning his debut in Bellator by 36-second arm triangle in August over Keyes Nelson.

Echols is 2-2, with both wins by submission. He hit the skids early, dropping his first two pro fights, but rebounded to win his next two.

Downey is an accomplished wrestler (Feel like I’ve been saying this a lot), but he’s also a turd who, at one point, was facing a potential 35 years in prison for various street fights he got into. He ended up pleading down to 6 days in jail. Echols has “The mix up” as his Foundation Style. We gotta stop letting fighters put in their own information on Tapolgy. They are grossly abusing it with the dumbest poo poo imaginable.

Bantamweight - “The Mean Green Fighting Machine” Cass Bell vs Jared “Psycho” Scoggins

Bell is 5-2 with 1 TKO and 3 submission wins. His entire pro career has taken place under the Bellator banner. He’s lost his last two, getting choked out by Raufeon Stots in 2020, and dropping a decision to Jornel Lugo in 2021.

Scoggins is 10-2, with 4 TKO wins. Since 2020, he’s only had two fights, with 5 additional bouts scheduled that never manifested. He’s 0-1 in Bellator, getting stopped by Josh Hill in December 2021.

Bell is a 35-year old Bantamweight. Scoggins, being a Scoggins, is a bit of a headcase and prone to doing dumb poo poo in fights. Should be weird!

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
sending Lenne my energy

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

LobsterMobster posted:

once again, i come in after carl's good breakdown with a bad :siren: b league preview :siren:

Bellator 289 - Friday, December 9

Main Card - 9PM ET, ShowTime

Interim Bantamweight Title and Bantamweight Gran Prix (Semi-Final) - Raufeon “Supa” Stots vs Danny “The Italian Gangster” Sabatello

Stots is 18-1 with 4 TKO and 4 submission wins. His lone loss came in 2017, a 15-second knockout via spinning backfist against Merab Dvalishvilil on the regional scene. He’s rattled off 10 straight since then, including going 6-0 in Bellator. He captured the interim title in the quarter-finals of the Grand Prix via third round head kick KO on Juan Archuleta in April.

Sabatello is 13-1, with 3 TKO and 4 submission wins. His lone loss came against Irwin “Please Remember to Get Some Sleep so You Don’t Attempt to Murder Your Family Members” Rivera via fourth round TKO in Titan FC in 2019. He’s won 7 in a row since then, including his 3 Bellator bouts.

Bellator has tried many, many times to find Their Guy. Usually, Their Guy is a flawed imitation of UFC’s Guy, like Michael Page and James Gallagher being Bellator Guys for Conor McGregor (Brash, from across the Atlantic, for MVP - a deadly counter striker, for Gallagher - a dumb chest tattoo). Now it feels like Bellator is trying again with Sabatello as Their Guy. He’s a loudmouth American with ridiculous dyed hair. He’s the Sean O’Malley we have at WinStar World Casino in Thackerville, Oklahoma. For these crimes, I must wholeheartedly endorse Raufeon Stots for devastating victory.

Flyweight Title - Liz “Girl-Rilla” Carmouche vs Juliana Velasquez

Carmouche is 17-7 with 8 TKO and 3 submission wins. She’s putting the finishing touches on her 12th year of pro MMA competition. She’s got a win over Valentina Shevchenko in both womens’ early days. She went 2-2 in StrikeForce, 2-0 in Invicta, 5-5 in UFC, and is now 4-0 in Bellator. She captured the Flyweight title in April with a crucifix TKO.

Velasquez is 12-1, with 4 TKO and 1 submission wins. She’s 7-1 in Bellator, her lone loss coming to Carmouche in April. As evidenced by her lack of nickname, Velasquez has nothing interesting about her at all.

Look, we can all be honest. Carmouche’s stoppage win was kind of weak. Would 13 more seconds to end the round have been devastating for Velasquez to take? It seems unlikely, but maybe hearing the 10-second clapper would have spurred Liz on to drop more forceful elbows.

Bantamweight Grand Prix (Semi-Final) - Magomed “Tiger” Magomedov vs Patchy “No Love” Mix

Magomedov is 19-2, boasting 4 TKO and 9 submission wins. He split a pair of bouts against Petr Yan on the Russian regional scene in 2016 - 2017. He’s 3-1 in Bellator, having lost to Raufeon Stots in 2021, but rebounding with a win by 4th round guillotine choke over Enrique Barzola in June in the Grand Prix.

Mix is 16-1 with 1 TKO and 11 submission wins. He’s 5-1 in Bellator, losing to Juan Archuleta for the then-vacant Bantamweight title. He’s now on a 3-fight win streak, including a huge upset win over Kyoji Horiguchi in the Grand Prix.

We’ve got two accomplished grapplers going at it. Magomedov, unsurprisingly, is a classic Dagestan Man, who utilizes various brutal means with which to Smesh opponents. Mix does have a wrestling background, but he’s very good at becoming a Jansport made of flesh as he takes backs and strangles his opponents. Normally, I’d say this would be a tepid kickboxing contest. However, a DagMan, especially with two Magomeds in his name, has no fear of another man’s ground game, so expect some wild scrambles in this one.

Middleweight - Dalton “Hercules” Rosta vs Anthony “Sugafoot” Adams

Rosta is 7-0 with 4 TKO wins. All of his pro fights have taken place inside the Bellator Circlegon.

Adams is 9-2 with 1 TKO win. Since 2019, he’s had 3 bouts actually take place, with another 9 scheduled that never happened. He’s on a one fight win streak, having dropped his previous bout to Impa Kasanganay on the Contender Series in 2020.

Rosta is far more active, so assuming Adams makes it to the cage, I think Dalton wins this one.

Prelims - 5:25 PM ET, YouTube

Flyweight - Denise “Miss Dynamite” Kielholtz vs Ilara “Arya Stark” Joanne

Kielholtz is 6-4, with 2 TKO and 3 submission wins, and 3 submission losses. She went 4-1 in Bellator Kickboxing (Remember that? Lol), and is 6-3 in Bellator MMA, having lost her two most recent MMA contests.

Joanne is 10-6, with 4 TKO and 3 sub wins. She’s 2-2 in Bellator, beating Bec Rawlings (Remember her? Lol) and Alejandra Lara in between losing to Kana Watanabe and Vanessa Porto.

Both fighters have lost to Kana Watanabe, so they can commiserate over that shared failure after the fight.

Welterweight - Kyle Crutchmer vs Jaleel “The Realest” Willis

Crutchmer is 9-1, with 1 TKO and 3 submission wins. He’s 5-1 in Bellator, his lone loss coming by decision to Kemran Lachinov in 2020. Since then, he has won three in a row.

Willis is 15-4 with 5 TKO wins. He popped up briefly in WSoF and Bellator in 2016, winning single fights in those promotions by decision. He went 3-2 in LFA, and is now back in Bellator, currently 2-2 in his second go, having lost his last two bouts.

Crutchmer is a wrestler who’s giving up 2 inches in height and 6 inches in reach. But, y’know, he’s a highly accomplished wrestler, and thus, is a terrifying cube of meat.

Featherweight - Cody Law vs Cris “Sunshine” Lencioni

Law has fought all of his pro career in Bellator, going 6-1, with 4 TKO and 1 submission wins. He lost his most recent bout, dropping a decision to James Gonzalez in June.

Lencioni is 9-3 with 5 submission wins. He went 4-2 in Bellator from 2017 - 2020, ending his run on a 3-fight win streak. He’s won his two most recent bouts in various regional promotions.

Law is an accomplished wrestler, and on Lencioni’s Tapology page, his Foundation Style is listed as “Shakes that’ll make you quake”. They are not the same.

Featherweight - Kevin “Game Time” Boehm vs Kai “Fighting Hawaiian” Kamaka III

Boehm is 9-5, with 4 TKO and 1 submission win. He’s 0-1 in Bellator, having gotten choked out in his debut in July.

Kamaka is also 9-5, with a lone submission win on his record. He went 2-0 in his first Bellator stint that ended in 2019, went 1-2 in the UFC, and now is back in Bellator with a 1-1 record on this new run.

Kai Kamaka III, finish a fight challenge (Impossible Difficulty)

Welterweight - Mark Lemminger vs Michael “The Don” Lombardo

Lemminger is 12-5 with 5 TKO and 4 submission wins, and 3 TKO losses. He’s 2-4 in Bellator, in a weird, unsustainable “win one, lose two” set up. Luckily, he just lost the final bout of his pair, so he should be in good shape.

Lombardo is 12-3 with 4 TKO and 3 submission wins. He lost to Kyle Daukus on the Contender Series in 2019, then beat Korey Kuppe in 2020, but it was by decision, so clearly he isn’t good enough for a UFC contract that pays a bowl of thistles for the next six years. He won via first round Leg Kick TKO (Who has ever heard of such a thing???) in PFL in 2021, and most recently dropped a decision to Kyle Crutchmer in his Bellator debut back in April.

Lombardo really struggles against the Kyles of the world, huh?

Middleweight - Patrick Downey vs Christian “The Vanilla Gorilla” Echols

Downey is 1-0, winning his debut in Bellator by 36-second arm triangle in August over Keyes Nelson.

Echols is 2-2, with both wins by submission. He hit the skids early, dropping his first two pro fights, but rebounded to win his next two.

Downey is an accomplished wrestler (Feel like I’ve been saying this a lot), but he’s also a turd who, at one point, was facing a potential 35 years in prison for various street fights he got into. He ended up pleading down to 6 days in jail. Echols has “The mix up” as his Foundation Style. We gotta stop letting fighters put in their own information on Tapolgy. They are grossly abusing it with the dumbest poo poo imaginable.

Bantamweight - “The Mean Green Fighting Machine” Cass Bell vs Jared “Psycho” Scoggins

Bell is 5-2 with 1 TKO and 3 submission wins. His entire pro career has taken place under the Bellator banner. He’s lost his last two, getting choked out by Raufeon Stots in 2020, and dropping a decision to Jornel Lugo in 2021.

Scoggins is 10-2, with 4 TKO wins. Since 2020, he’s only had two fights, with 5 additional bouts scheduled that never manifested. He’s 0-1 in Bellator, getting stopped by Josh Hill in December 2021.

Bell is a 35-year old Bantamweight. Scoggins, being a Scoggins, is a bit of a headcase and prone to doing dumb poo poo in fights. Should be weird!

GDT for the weekend is

right here https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4019349

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

CarlCX posted:

Depending on if you define championship life as beginning at conception or not, the first standing championship match in UFC history was Dan Severn and Ken Shamrock fighting to a draw for the UFC Superfight championship and leaving it vacant, so that's either a win or a defense.

If you mean just cases where the title was vacant going into a fight and remained vacant afterward, other than last night I think the only UFC case was in 2002; Jens Pulver dropped the lightweight title over pay disputes, the UFC held a tournament to fill the vacancy and it ended in BJ Penn and Caol Uno going to a draw, which the UFC initially said it might do something about and then 'something' wound up being just pretending the belt didn't exist for like four years.

Wasn't the belt vacant for the first Figueiredo vs Benavidez fight that Deveison missed weight for, so only Joe could be champ, and Joe got smoked?

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
I want Paddy to lose spectacularly in the main event so the arena and surrounding area outside can be strewn with discarded M'lord wigs in disgust

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Poirier has cooked jambalaya and gumbo (using his hot sauce) with the Hot Ones guy

He also says he wants to do a show called Food Fight where he travels to MMA gyms and checks out the restaurant scene in various cities

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Just thinking about Josh Thompson on his podcast telling MMA media to "do their job" to promote the Rizin/Bellator crossover.

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Justice for Star Boy and Pooh Bear

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Hey

Hey you

You like fights? Of course you do, you're in the MMA thread!

You like morally dubious fights? Of course you do, you're in the MMA thread!

:sickos: alert! :sickos:

This isn't a full B League preview, this is just to let you know there's some wild poo poo on this week's docket that's even more questionable than UFC matchmaking

KSW 77: Mamed vs Pudzian - Saturday, 1PM ET

Mamed Khalidov was, at one time, KSW’s biggest star. At one point, he’d won 11 fights in a row in the company, a five year run of dominance that saw him capture the Middleweight title. There was chatter of him joining the UFC, but those deals never materialized, most likely because Mamed wanted to be paid more than a yearly coupon for Toyo Tires (Expired June 2002). He’s racked up an impressive 19-4 record in KSW, with 6 TKO and 10 submission wins. Since 2018, though, Mamed hasn’t fared so well. He’s 1-4 in that span, and while he did win the Light Heavyweight title, he lost it in his first attempted defense, getting knocked out by Roberto Soldic.

Mariusz Pudzianowski is KSW’s largest star. A 5-time World’s Strongest Man champion, the enormous man made his MMA debut in 2009 and has been punching other grossly inflated men for over a decade. He’s 17-6 under KSW’s banner, netting 9 wins by TKO and 3 by “submission”, all of which were the most classic of finishing holds, “repeated punches to the head and chest of a moaning man, administered by a profusely sweating, ever-reddening monstrosity”.

This fight, clearly, has no bearing on rankings or standings, or really even pecking order in the company. Khalidov is a more well-rounded fighter, one who has actually competed and won titles in KSW. But Pudzian is a home-grown legend of prodigious strength and vengeful smashing prowess. If Mariusz can land a flailing hammer blow, it’s going to be a bad, quick night for Khalidov, but Mamed should be smart enough to shoot the best double of his life and quickly secure a submission.

Fight Circus 5: Hanukkah Gone Wrongukkah (An Homage to Scrooged) - Sunday, 8PM ET

Fight Circus, for the uninitiated, is the brainchild of American expat Jon Nutt, who may or may not be operating a secret opium ring and children’s fight club in the seedier parts of Thailand’s underworld. He just gives off those vibes. He has put on normal MMA, kickboxing, and Muay Thai shows, under the Full Metal Dojo banner. Those events have showcased regional talent across southeast Asia, and while the fights are generally competent, nobody really cared. To gain attention, he had to become a The Joker.

Fight Circus is Nutt’s ode to the freakshows of yore. Two-vs-One bouts, with a pair of scrawny, undersized friends fighting a semi-legitimate heavyweight fighter. Bouts where contestants are only allowed to kick each other. Lethwei, Muay Thai's angry Burmese cousin that eschews the gloves and allows headbutts, but with both fighters shoved literally inside a phone booth. Fight Circus has done all of these and much, much more.

The promotion is back for a holiday event that may not have a fight card listed, but a “Four Way Mrs Clause Pillow Fight” has been announced on their Twitter page, so uh, there’s that.

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
rip cubeman

https://twitter.com/BigMarcel24/status/1603489588143611907?t=pxF55g5RMgByOvP_JUv-8A&s=19

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Catch all monthly threads: good, helps contextualize when things happened, especially when the old b league threads would run for like 2 years

Catch all GDTs: as an early proponent of them, i like em. while the b league portions dont tend to get a ton of traffic, again, i think being able to seek out people talking about specific fights is easier with a GDT instead of trawling through a monthly thread

Carl's Big Posts: good and enjoyable, but i worry about your burnout/quality of life. Feel free to scale back, or enlist others to do some write ups. heck, maybe i can contribute to the bellator/invicta/pfl portions of the montly threads, provided i remember

i am ok. How are you, forums friend Carl?

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
His best quote is that he only has 10 seconds at the conclusion of a round to determine who won and write that down. Instead of watching the round and figuring out who is winning as the fight plays out. Nope, impossible. Watch for 5 minutes, replay all the action in your brain, and assess a winner before the commission person comes by to take your scrap of paper

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
lol, lmao

https://twitter.com/A_S12/status/1605729954179735552

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Jeff Molina is out of his fight with Jimmy Flick and has been suspended by Nevada athletic commission for possible involvement with the "The" James Krause gambling situation

https://www.mmamania.com/2022/12/25/23526031/james-krause-student-jeff-molina-suspended-by-nevada-state-athletic-commission

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Inoki Genome Federation and Ganryu-Jima are doing a co-promotion thing tonight for Inoki Bom-Ba-Ye 2022

The prelims are on Youtube, and are starting up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UfFvQBY6MA

The rest of the card is on various Japanese streaming platforms that seem impossible to navigate, but here's a link if anyone wants to give it a whack

https://linktr.ee/ganryujima

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Dude went night night, the first victim to be fed to the moat monsters

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Ryusei bonked the body and Bang Bang Gym is dying from ruptured tummyguts

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Mr X, aka Jimmy Ambriz. Should have fought with the mask on

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Can't figure out how to watch the rest of Ganryu Jima, and I am furious I'm missing this poo poo

https://twitter.com/_MarkPickering/status/1607996674949120000


aaaaaaahhhh

https://twitter.com/marcraimondi/status/1607997659826225153

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
*record scratch*

yep, that's me

you're probably wondering how i got here

well, it's a funny story!

https://twitter.com/Grabaka_Hitman/status/1608011906245181440

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Thanks to Carl and Boco for the Rizin preview. It was a lot of fun!

Speaking of Rizin, they did a MC Battle last night, but I don't think any of the fighters participated

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzH1IMXcgkw

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
New Year's Eve GDT:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4020834

everyone put on your fundoshi and pound on a taiko

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LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
I'll link it again in the January thread, but

2022 Year End Awards are now live!

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4020881

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