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Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



It's time for the third ROH pape under the ownership of "Big Biceps" Tony Khan, and it's shaping up to be the best one yet! Between the Zero Hour pre-show and the main card, there's a poo poo-ton* of matches, let's get right to it!

https://twitter.com/ringofhonor/status/1601607924723367945?s=20&t=2S6SNV0eAH4UpOqz0zA0GA

For the Ring of Honor World Championship.

The war between The Jericho Appreciation Society and The Blackpool Combat Club has been raging for months, and one of the biggest shocks came when Chris Jericho defeated Claudio Castagnoli for the ROH World Title. Since then, Jericho has declared himself "The Ocho" and has been attempting to dishonor** everything that the ROH World Title stands for. Castagnoli has seen enough, however, and has vowed to end the reign of tyranny*** of the self proclaimed "Sports Entertainer". However, the World Title isn't the only thing at stake; if Castagnoli loses, he will be forced leave the BCC and join the JAS. Has he made a decision he'll come to regret? Or can he restore honor to the ROH World Title?

https://twitter.com/ringofhonor/status/1601577476202692608?s=20&t=2S6SNV0eAH4UpOqz0zA0GA

For the Ring of Honor World Tag Team Championship.

Their first ever match was hailed as one of the greatest tag team matches in history. The rematch was a vicious and brutal fight. And now they meet for the third time in one of the most barbaric matches ever devised: A Double Dog Collar Chain Match.

FTR won the ROH World Tag Team titles in the first one, and managed to retain the titles in the rematch. This has not sat well with former champions The Briscoes. They issued this challenge. Theybrought out the dog collars.**** They not only want their tag team titles back, but they want to prove to the world that they are the best tag team in the world today, and if they have to end the careers of FTR to do it, then so be it.

https://twitter.com/ringofhonor/status/1601585025819979777?s=20&t=2S6SNV0eAH4UpOqz0zA0GA

For the Ring of Honor Women's World Championship.

Athena's debut in AEW started off fast and strong, but somewhere along the way she grew frustrated at her perceived lack of success. So she decided to take it out on her opponents, revealing a streak of cruelty that her long time fans didn't know she possessed. She even took a week's suspension after striking referee Aubrey Edwards*****. If her plan was to get noticed, it worked. ROH Women's World Champion Mercedes Martinez took notice. They have a history together, going back to the days of SHIMMER. And Martinez has vowed to put an end to Athena's viciousness. Athena, on the other hand, has vowed to dethrone the returned champion. This will be Martinez's first match back after a period on the DL; will she be at a hundred percent? And if not, expect Athena to take full advantage and show absolutely no mercy.

https://twitter.com/ringofhonor/status/1601358533009633280?s=20&t=2S6SNV0eAH4UpOqz0zA0GA

For the Ring of Honor World Television Championship.

Since his return to ROH earlier in the year, fans have been clamoring for the return of the Samoa Joe they remembered from the "old" ROH, the Samoa Joe who took no prisoners, and delighted in making his opponents suffer as much as he did defeating them. Well, the fans got their wish when he attacked partner Wardlow, and later defeated him for the AEW TNT Title. This is the Joe of old, as evidenced by the past week's Dynamite, where he drat near destroyed Darby Allin in a monstrous display of savagery. And like a shark that's smelled blood, he's now directing that ferocity at the newest AEW signee, former three time IWGP United States Champion Juice Robinson.

But Robinson is no slouch, having defeated such people like Jay White, Will Osprey, and Jon Moxley. Robinson has his sights firmly on the ROH World Television title, while Joe has been pre-occupied with his on-going feud with Wardlow. Will Joe be spending the match looking over his shoulder? Will Robinson use some of the tactics that made him a member of Bullet Club? Or will Samoa Joe "kill" him?******

https://twitter.com/ringofhonor/status/1601373631728287747?s=20&t=2S6SNV0eAH4UpOqz0zA0GA

For the Ring of Honor Pure Championship.

The Main Event isn't the only BCC vs JAS match on the care, as Daniel Garcia defends the title against the man he beat for it, Wheeler Yuta. The BCC has been going through some upheavals lately, which saw all three champions lose their titles in recent months, as well as the betrayal, and exit, of BCC founder and mentor William Regal. Meanwhile, the JAS appears to be stronger than ever, with any dissent in the ranks being brushed aside for the good of the group.*******

Yuta looks to get things back on track for the BCC, and hopes to regain the Pure Championship. But has all the recent drama weighed to heavy on him? Is he in the right place mentally? Because if he's not, Daniel Garcia will not show even one ounce of mercy. This is the man, after all, who defeated one of Yuta's BCC members, Bryan Danielson.

https://twitter.com/ringofhonor/status/1601343433544802307?s=20&t=2S6SNV0eAH4UpOqz0zA0GA

For the Ring of Honor World Six-Man Tag Team Championship.

It's Dalton Castle and His Boys defending their titles against The Embassy's Gates of Agony and Brian Cage. Peacock Power vs Prince Nana's shenanigans. The champions are at an obvious size disadvantage in this match, so they're going to have to use every bit of speed and ingenuity they have if they don't want to get squashed to a pulp.********

https://twitter.com/ringofhonor/status/1600852709942480896?s=20&t=2S6SNV0eAH4UpOqz0zA0GA

Story time: The first time I ever saw Keith Lee and Shane Taylor is when they debuted in ROH as PBK (aka the "Pretty Boy Killers"). And while impressed by both of them, I was BLOWN AWAY by Keith Lee*********. Now I was disappointed when they went their separate ways; I was rooting for them to become ROH World Tag Team Champions.

And apparently, so was Shane Taylor. And when Lee left, resentment started to fester. But Taylor used that to focus him. He became the ROH World Television Champion. He formed the faction "Shane Taylor Promotions", and won the ROH World Six-Man Tag Team Titles. But he still had a debt to pay. And he decided to cash in at Final Battle, teaming with JD Griffey to challenge Keith Lee to a tag match.

It was a surprised to Lee to see his former tag team partner after so many years, and an even bigger surprise when his former friend challenged him to a match. But the biggest surprise for Lee had to be when Swerve Strickland offered to be his partner for this match. Swerve in Our Glory, despite being AEW World Tag Team Champions at the time, never seemed to gel at a philosophical level. Swerve wanted to win at any cost, Lee didn't believe such methods were needed. And that drove a wedge between them. And now Lee has to be wondering if he's made the right choice, or did he invite a lion into his den?

https://twitter.com/rushtoroblanco/status/1601450674340126720?s=20&t=2S6SNV0eAH4UpOqz0zA0GA

Tony Khan looked at this card and said, "You know what, I want even MORE bangers on this card." And so this match was made.

And that's it for the main card. Now on to the Zero Hour Pre-Show:

https://twitter.com/ringofhonor/status/1601435790109704194?s=20&t=2S6SNV0eAH4UpOqz0zA0GA

Willow Nightingale vs Trish Adora?

Holy poo poo!

The Kingdom vs Top Flight?

HOLY poo poo!

2point0********** vs Shinobi Shadow Squad?

OMG!

Mascara Dorada vs Jeff Cobb?

TONY F'N KHAN YOU'RE A F'N MADMAN!!!!!




*shite-tonne for you metric users
**Pun!
***Potential name for a Fozzy album?
****Through their intermediaries The Gunn Club.
*****C'mon, if any ref deserved it, it should've been Rick Knox.
******Proud I didn't use any "squeeze", "squash", or "pulp" euphemisms?
*******and possibly, for the love of Hat?
********Didn't promise that I wouldn't use the euphemisms here however!
*********I even told him on Twitter, and he thanked me! Keith Lee rules!
**********aka "Stab's Boys"

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MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!
If you have no idea who JD Griffey is watch this!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLyH-FTPmbE

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007


It's pouring rain out so time for some afternoon wrestling!

GenghisTron
Dec 5, 2005

i dont live to live homie

I'm so happy it's on at a decent time for us Brits

Mr. Squishy
Mar 22, 2010

A country where you can always get richer.

GenghisTron posted:

I'm so happy it's on at a decent time for us Brits

if u truly love wrestling u would happily stay awake til 5 on a monday morning.

Barry Bluejeans
Feb 2, 2017

ATTENTHUN THITIZENTH
Hell yeah starting with Dorada/Cobb, this is gonna rule

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer
LET'S loving GO Y'ALL

BCC BOUTTA SAVE ROH

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



Caprice and Ian are such a happy duo

Mr. Squishy
Mar 22, 2010

A country where you can always get richer.
i had failed 2 consider that excalibur would not be calling the show

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
I'm shocked this is the first match, I would main event Zero Hour with this.

Penguin Patrol
Mar 3, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
drat, no Great O'Khan

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!
Perfect opener choice.

PunishedEnzoMatrix
Jul 29, 2022

by Hand Knit
Dang Jeff Cobb is a thick fella

Gaz-L
Jan 28, 2009

Mr. Squishy posted:

i had failed 2 consider that excalibur would not be calling the show

Ian's pretty good except when he decides one joke is really funny and spends half the show hammering it.

Lamuella
Jun 26, 2003

It's like goldy or bronzy, but made of iron.


that catch was incredible.

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



Hawaiian Hulk!

Penguin Patrol
Mar 3, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
loving awesome

Gaz-L
Jan 28, 2009

Penguin Patrol posted:

drat, no Great O'Khan

I think there's a tag league show tomorrow, so GOK and Henare are booked

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



JESUS

PunishedEnzoMatrix
Jul 29, 2022

by Hand Knit
Lmao the surfboard

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



Open the show with a murder is a bold choice, let's see if it pays off

Penguin Patrol
Mar 3, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
holy poo poo

Lamuella
Jun 26, 2003

It's like goldy or bronzy, but made of iron.


This Mascara Dorada is a pretty handy lad.

Gaz-L
Jan 28, 2009
Oww, that tornillo just bonked Cobb

Dacap
Jul 8, 2008

I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower.

You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader.



Always love a power hoss vs flippy boy match and these two are some of the best in the game

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Goddamn Cobb

Penguin Patrol
Mar 3, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
free on youtube at 3 in the afternoon

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



drat!

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



Cobb was flailing like a turtle on its shell there

Lamuella
Jun 26, 2003

It's like goldy or bronzy, but made of iron.


Wish the crowd were a little more into this, but it's 3 in the afternoon and they're not all here yet.

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR

Davros1 posted:

Cobb was flailing like a turtle on its shell there

You encounter a Jeff Cobb in the desert.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Love it when somebody just blasts Cobb with something and it does stagger him slightly, but only enough for him to pause and glare at them before he obliterates them.

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
That was a spankin' good finish.

Gaz-L
Jan 28, 2009

MJeff posted:

You encounter a Jeff Cobb in the desert.

I don't turn him over because if I do he may murder me. Does that make me a replicant?

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

MJeff posted:

You encounter a Jeff Cobb in the desert.

"A Jeff Cobb?"
"You know what my brother, the monster Matanza, looks like?"
"Yeah sure."
"Same thing."

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
ahahahahah Dorada observing the code of honor and Cobb being like "what the gently caress is this poo poo"

dromal phrenia
Feb 22, 2004

whatd i miss so far

Pinwiz11
Jan 26, 2009

I'm becom-, I'm becom-,
I'm becoming
Tana in, Tana in my mind.



Nana!

Mr. Squishy
Mar 22, 2010

A country where you can always get richer.

Lamuella posted:

Wish the crowd were a little more into this, but it's 3 in the afternoon and they're not all here yet.

THere's a lot of empty seats, it's obvious even w/ the lights turned down. It's the start of the pre-show!

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Lamuella
Jun 26, 2003

It's like goldy or bronzy, but made of iron.


I will always love Dalton Castle's orange ray bans

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