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Ape Fist
Feb 23, 2007

Nowadays, you can do anything that you want; anal, oral, fisting, but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection.
my dick and balls are always colder than the surrounding skin, i put my hand down there and its noticably cooler than the rest of the area, why is that, GBS? also, do women have this issue also? is their private ladies area as warm as the surrounding skin, or cooler? i need to know, it's killing me to not know

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EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.
You should've phrased this as "do :females: have this issue also" but you didn't so your concerns are invalid OP

ChubbyChecker
Mar 25, 2018

yeah thats why they hang, its a cooling mechanism

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

sounds like your dick and balls are made of the same stuff they make dogs noses from, op

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



I heard zombification starts at the dick and balls, have you been craving human flesh or brains?

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

babby's first anatomy lesson :shobon:

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.

Smythe posted:

if you cover you dick in ants and start looking at porn, they will gladly eat the pre-cum as it is generated. every single atom of pre-cum is instantly harvested by a thirsty little ant when it starts to be excreted from the cum chamber. once you get really horny and the passagewars to the cum sackules start to open they can smell the cum chamber in the balls below and they cant help themselves, theyll start making their way doiwn your dick and into the balls for their feast. its like a door buster sale on dead or alive video games on black friday, tons of horny people desperate to get in and get their horn fill. theyre so desperately thirsty for cum. there is no feeling quite like a cavalcade of perfect, organized ants marching down the inside of your shaft and picking up cum molecules to carry back to their home. blasting a big load and shooting a bunch of ants out like turning on an old dirty hose is remarkable. ants in the kitchen. ants in the bed room. one time a guy told me that if you leave ants to do their business, like, eating some spilled sauce, if you let them do their thing they will clean it perfectlt and even remove their dead, leaving nothing behind put cleanliness. i like that. which is why my home is filled to the brim with ants, and collectible figurines.

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
Will you be using the replies in this thread as masturbation aides? Be honest

Because oh boy have i got some stories

Ape Fist
Feb 23, 2007

Nowadays, you can do anything that you want; anal, oral, fisting, but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection.

Buce posted:

babby's first anatomy lesson :shobon:

ive actually been to high school several times and i never remember Mrs. Braunscheiger telling me why my dick and balls were so dang frosty compared to my toasty thighs and tummy.

Ape Fist
Feb 23, 2007

Nowadays, you can do anything that you want; anal, oral, fisting, but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection.

Icochet posted:

Will you be using the replies in this thread as masturbation aides? Be honest

Because oh boy have i got some stories

i never jerk off and never cum because its for losers so no?????????/

Szyznyk
Mar 4, 2008

If you need to get the blood flow going down there I’d recommend the Adult Search term “70s Sears Catalog Bra Ads.”

Toxic Mental
Jun 1, 2019

put them in your own rear end in a top hat

Ape Fist
Feb 23, 2007

Nowadays, you can do anything that you want; anal, oral, fisting, but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection.

Toxic Mental posted:

put them in your own rear end in a top hat

brexit means brexit

a peck of pickled peckers
Aug 3, 2014

I am your Redeemer! It is by my hand that you arise from the ashes of this world!

Lmao OP admitting he’s never touched or sucked on a lady’s downstairs area (I haven’t either, women are terrifying)

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
Put 10-15 leeches on your penis and do "the helicopter". I don't know if there's any medical benefit but your crotch will look like a heavy metal musician

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
Which is an end to itself

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.

Icochet posted:

Put 10-15 leeches on your penis and do "the helicopter". I don't know if there's any medical benefit but your crotch will look like a heavy metal musician

What if you find a tick on your dick and pop it with the power of boners

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer

EorayMel posted:

What if you find a tick on your dick and pop it with the power of boners

uh.. i don't know. just roll with it. it's not murder or anything you can gently caress up a tick in front of a judge and nothing happens

sigher
Apr 22, 2008

My guiding Moonlight...



Ape Fist posted:

also, do women have this issue also?

Only when they're around you OP.

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


William Henry Hairytaint posted:

I heard zombification starts at the dick and balls, have you been craving human flesh or brains?

this explains some videos i have seen, thank you professor.

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

most doctore recommend putting your balls on ice for at least 4 hrs a day to improve virility

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris


I never knew that Smythe was Ian Miles Cheong.

Panic! At The Tesco
Aug 19, 2005

FART


my hog is warm as hell OP so i'm afraid i can't help you

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007


:pwn:

Lord Decimus Barnacle
Jun 25, 2005


Hell Gem

TIL

Treecko
Apr 23, 2008

The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!
If you ever had consent to put it in another human, they wouldn't be so cold OP

Good luck

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





Your dick and balls are supposed to retract into your body for warmth OP. Sounds like they are malfunctioning.

Sophy Wackles fucked around with this message at 04:09 on Dec 18, 2022

Blue Footed Booby
Oct 4, 2006

got those happy feet

Sophy Wackles posted:

Your dick and balls are supposed to retract into your body for warmth OP. Sounds like the are malfunctioning.

Also staying cooler than your body is literally the reason they're on the outside.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here
You should try a hairdryer set to low, OP.

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr
Dec 22, 2018

I hope this is "battle" enough for you, friend.

Well, do you know what the extra skin that surrounds dick and balls is called?

A man.

The Hello Machine
Jul 19, 2021

I'm not a real machine, but I am a real Hello-sayer.
It means you're dying

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
What if hypothetically my dick and also balls were literally on fire?

Tite Barnacle
Jun 4, 2014

Meowdy Purrdner

Grimey Drawer
Rub your hot dick and balls on Op's cold dick and balls and achieve nirvana. I think it's called frottage or something but don't know for sure.

a peck of pickled peckers
Aug 3, 2014

I am your Redeemer! It is by my hand that you arise from the ashes of this world!

I just hope OP is washing his hands regularly

bossy lady
Jul 9, 1983

the pee stored in your balls acts like a natural water cooling system

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


You're supposed to put them somewhere warm OP.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

You're supposed to put them somewhere warm OP.

Generated Wizards
Apr 16, 2016

Your balls need to be a couple degrees cooler than the rest of your body or your swimmers will die, there are special muscles and nerves devoted to maintaining appropriate levels of dangle for optimum temperature.

Dunno about chilly dick though, try putting on pants. A sock on the schlong itself, maybe.

rekko
Jul 24, 2022

〜✧・♡・★〜🌟💗・♥・💗🌟〜★・♡・✧〜
❗スゴイ❗
dicks are weird.

and once I saw I guys balls move on their own. I didn't know they did that. Balls are also weird

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Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

rekko posted:

and once I saw I guys balls move on their own. I didn't know they did that. Balls are also weird

https://i.imgur.com/lsdlRVR.mp4

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