|
It has come to my attention that many of you dinks are unable to come up with a New Year's resolution, thereby dooming yourselves to lives of continued mediocrity. Fortunately for you I am required, as part of my court-ordered probation, to provide a New Year's resolution to anyone in need. So just post in here and I will help you get yourselves sorted.
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 18:52
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 12, 2024 22:03 |
|
|
Sort me senpai
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 18:58
|
|
|
Well, I'm certainly not giving myself one...
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 18:59
|
|
|
Piss all over my balls!!!
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 19:00
|
|
|
Vices: Food, kratom, big cummies, milk
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 19:07
|
|
|
Go ahead. Like I've ever kept a resolution anyway.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 19:22
|
|
|
Sure.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 19:23
|
|
|
i don't care
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 19:43
|
|
|
That’s my vehicle!
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 19:58
|
|
|
As long as it is 4k or better.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:02
|
|
|
Flowers for QAnon posted:Sort me senpai Your 2023 resolution is to increase your emotional fortitude by watching that Sarah MacLachlan ASCPA commercial with the neglected animals every single day, from beginning to end, without looking away.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:03
|
|
|
Canine Blues Arooo posted:Well, I'm certainly not giving myself one... Your 2023 resolution is to grow more comfortable expressing your feelings by telling the people that you love how much you appreciate them every time you see them, and also by telling the people that you hate exactly why you hate them every time you see them.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:05
|
|
|
A CRAB IRL posted:Piss all over my balls!!! Your 2023 resolution will be to quit smoking cigarettes. If you don't already smoke cigarettes, you should start on January 1, and hold off quitting until September 30, when the habit has really sunk in.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:07
|
|
|
Altight
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:08
|
|
|
As a perfect being there is nothing needing changins
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:08
|
|
|
Smugworth posted:Vices: Food, kratom, big cummies, milk Your 2023 resolution will be to do your part for the environment by reducing methane emissions by way of keeping your b-hole corked for the entire year. Might want to cut back on the milk, too.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:10
|
|
|
Prof. Crocodile posted:Your 2023 resolution will be to do your part for the environment by reducing methane emissions by way of keeping your b-hole corked for the entire year. Might want to cut back on the milk, too. 24/7 plugged you say 
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:11
|
|
|
I need a bigger resolution OP.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:12
|
|
|
Beefed Owl posted:Go ahead. Like I've ever kept a resolution anyway. Your 2023 resolution will be to finally follow through on something. Specifically, you will finally make that documentary that you've been incubating in your head for the past decade--the one about how the Reptilian Illuminati are attempting to topple America by removing precious metals from our coinage.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:16
|
|
|
fps_nug posted:Sure. Your 2023 resolution will be to get a new av. Jesus Christ dude. Is that some inside joke or something? Seriously.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:18
|
|
|
Pajser posted:i don't care Your 2023 resolution will be to learn the value of living every moment to its fullest by nearly dying in a car accident. The make and model or car, as well as the nature of the accident, are up to you.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:23
|
|
|
Orange Cat posted:That’s my vehicle! Your 2023 resolution is to convert to Judaism. If you are already a practicing Jew, then you should convert to Orthodoxy. If you are already an Orthodox Jew, then... gently caress I don't know... just start dressing like Charlton Heston from The Ten Commandments, I guess.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:26
|
|
|
Waltzing Along posted:As long as it is 4k or better. Your 2023 resolution will be to stop letting objects control your life, starting with that bossy dialysis machine.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:33
|
|
|
Farg posted:Altight Your 2023 resolution will be use the damned spellcheck, dude. That squiggly red underline is there for a reason. Do you know how bad it looks to misspell something in 2023, when every loving program in the world has a built-in spellcheck?
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:34
|
|
|
Lord Decimus Barnacle posted:As a perfect being there is nothing needing changins Your 2023 resolution will be to learn the value of humility, which you will accomplish by spending a year working with impoverished children in India, who will mercilessly mock you for your physical appearance, dress sense, and taste in music. That should take you down a peg or two.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:35
|
|
|
gently caress me up Prof
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:36
|
|
|
I'm fat as poo poo and likely not going to do anything about it.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 20:41
|
|
|
Lay it on me doc
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 21:20
|
|
|
give me something so i can disappoint
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 21:31
|
|
|
Give me your wisdom OP!
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 21:44
|
|
|
SLICK GOKU BABY posted:I need a bigger resolution OP. Your 2023 resolution will be to finally come clean to Taylor Swift about how uncomfortable you are with the way that she's been reverse stalking you over the years. I recommend that you deliver this message over social media, but if she doesn't respond you may have to resort to telling her in person.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 21:45
|
|
|
BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:gently caress me up Prof Your resolution will be to show your family how much you truly love them by finally allowing them to move out of the godawful hellhole of Connecticut.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 21:46
|
|
|
My New Year's resolution is to have someone else give me a new New Year's resolution.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 21:49
|
|
|
givepatajob posted:I'm fat as poo poo and likely not going to do anything about it. Your 2023 resolution will be to remove added sugar from your diet by replacing it with crystal meth. Watch the pounds melt away! Also your skin and teeth!
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 21:50
|
|
|
I was just gonna try to start drinking water, but if you have a better one I’m open to hearing it.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 21:53
|
|
|
RepeatingMeme posted:Lay it on me doc Your 2023 resolution will be to face your fears and finally divulge the information you possess that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Rodham Clinton.
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 21:56
|
|
|
numberoneposter posted:give me something so i can disappoint Your 2023 resolution will be to spend more time with your family, no matter how much they beg you not to. That restraining order has probably expired by now, anyway. How long are those things good for? Like a year?
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 21:59
|
|
|
You think I won’t do it? I’m doing it
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 22:01
|
|
|
bees everywhere posted:Give me your wisdom OP! Your 2023 resolution will be to lose 50 pounds. If you chop off your third buttock you will be halfway there!
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 22:02
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 12, 2024 22:03 |
|
|
stellae posted:My New Year's resolution is to have someone else give me a new New Year's resolution. Your 2023 resolution is to stop being such a smartass. Okay smartass?
|
|
#
?
Dec 29, 2022 22:03
|
|