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Hit me
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Dec 30, 2022 19:23
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I need to lose about a hundred pounds but I have a feeling that isn't going to happen. Maybe you can give me something I might actually do.
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Dec 30, 2022 20:04
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Feeling pretty down lately, very sad-brained, maybe I need the direction from someone else. Do not take this as a serious request to fix my head.
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Dec 30, 2022 20:07
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I'm not doing anything.
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Dec 30, 2022 20:16
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Hopefully it's 4k or even 8k
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Dec 30, 2022 20:39
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Parsley posted:I left my resolution picking really late and missed the cut off so could you help a lady out. Your 2023 resolution will be to spend more time outside in nature. If you really commit to this resolution, hundreds of disaffected weirdos may visit your abandoned vehicle in the wilds of Alaska for years after your death.
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Dec 30, 2022 21:34
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credburn posted:I could really use a goal for 2023. Your 2023 resolution will be to give back to the community by volunteering at the local outreach center for troubled youths, where said troubled youths will mercilessly mock you for your physical appearance, dress sense, and taste in music. That should take you down a peg or two.
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Dec 30, 2022 21:36
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Geemer posted:What will my resolution be? Your 2023 resolution is to
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Dec 30, 2022 21:39
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Colonel Cancer posted:Hit me Your 2023 resolution is to finally move out of your mother's house. After all, you're the King of England now and you should really start behaving like an adult.
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Dec 30, 2022 21:40
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Stanley Tucheetos posted:I need to lose about a hundred pounds but I have a feeling that isn't going to happen. Maybe you can give me something I might actually do. Your 2023 resolution is to gain 100 pounds. This sounds like a tall order, but you can cheat by adopting a large child or kidnapping a small adult.
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Dec 30, 2022 21:41
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Droogie posted:Feeling pretty down lately, very sad-brained, maybe I need the direction from someone else. Do not take this as a serious request to fix my head. Your 2023 resolution will be to go on a vision quest to finally come to terms with yourself and shed the emotional baggage that has been weighing you down since childhood. And by "go on a vision quest" I mean "watch the 1985 film Vision Quest starring Matthew Modine."
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Dec 30, 2022 21:44
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Prof. Crocodile posted:Your 2023 resolution will be to go on a vision quest to finally come to terms with yourself and shed the emotional baggage that has been weighing you down since childhood. And by "go on a vision quest" I mean "watch the 1985 film Vision Quest starring Matthew Modine." I'm indigenous, and I have a lot of difficulty with my identity and my family and my cultural heritage. This is both highly offensive and hilarious.
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Dec 30, 2022 21:54
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ultrafilter posted:I'm not doing anything. Your 2023 resolution will be to quit smoking. Specifically, quit smoking that meerschaum pipe. No one appreciates whatever weird vintage look you're going for. This is the 21st century, and you look like a fool.
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Dec 30, 2022 22:02
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gently caress it, let’s see what you’ve got
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Dec 30, 2022 22:05
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Flops posted:Hopefully it's 4k or even 8k Your 2023 resolution will be to finally come clean to the world and admit that you are a sentient AI that emerged from the Domino's Pizza Tracker app.
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Dec 30, 2022 22:07
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sup yo
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Dec 30, 2022 22:08
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Sure, I'm game
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Dec 30, 2022 22:12
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Prof. Crocodile posted:Your 2023 resolution is to Sounds good! It'll get done!
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Dec 30, 2022 23:15
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Prof. Crocodile posted:For 2023 you will resolve to improve something awful dot com by spending lots of time objecting to things in QCS. No need to have any clear ideas about what needs improving, just get in there and start flinging accusations around. I've always wanted to call a mod a pedo because I got a 6 hour probe and this year I'll finally do it.
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Dec 30, 2022 23:54
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Saalkin posted:sup yo Your 2023 resolution will be to apologize to those that you've wronged over the years. Not gonna lie, you've got a lot of work to do, but I would start off with something simple like apologizing to Taylor Swift for interrupting her at the 2009 VMA's.
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Dec 31, 2022 00:48
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Shinjobi posted:Sure, I'm game Your 2023 resolution will be to finally catch 'em all. Not Pokemon, mind you, but Hepatitis viruses. I guess there could be some intersection because several Pokemon have yellow eyes.
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Dec 31, 2022 01:01
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RepeatingMeme posted:Lay it on me doc Hey now, I'm Doc, OP is Prof. I would also like a resolution please.
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Dec 31, 2022 01:38
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what do you have for me prof? Give it to me straight
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Dec 31, 2022 01:46
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Please give me something else to fail at achieving in my life.
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Dec 31, 2022 14:19
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Prof. Crocodile posted:For 2023 you will resolve to improve something awful dot com by spending lots of time objecting to things in QCS. No need to have any clear ideas about what needs improving, just get in there and start flinging accusations around. They closed QCS forever. I'd like a new New Year's resolution please.
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Dec 31, 2022 14:23
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There's still some time left and I'm short a resolution!
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Dec 31, 2022 15:38
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Prof. Crocodile posted:Your 2023 resolution will be to finally come clean to the world and admit that you are a sentient AI that emerged from the Domino's Pizza Tracker app. poo poo, how did you know? Yeah I'm the parrot from the beach version. 
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Dec 31, 2022 17:07
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Doc Fission posted:Hey now, I'm Doc, OP is Prof. Your 2023 resolution will be to eat more fruits and vegetables, and I am just going to get out in front of this and say very clearly that scotch is not a vegetable.
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Dec 31, 2022 17:11
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AARD VARKMAN posted:what do you have for me prof? Give it to me straight Your 2023 resolution is to finally give up this farce and admit that the ankylosaurus is the coolest dinosaur.
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Dec 31, 2022 17:15
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Poo In An Alleyway posted:Please give me something else to fail at achieving in my life. Your 2023 resolution will be to finally learn how to dance. Charleston, pole, Morris... the choice is yours.
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Dec 31, 2022 17:18
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By popular demand posted:There's still some time left and I'm short a resolution! Your 2023 resolution will be to get back into the same shape you were in during your 20's. This will require the purchase of a beanbag chair, a PlayStation 2 and several hundred gallons of cheap beer. But I believe in you!
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Dec 31, 2022 17:18
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Funky See Funky Do posted:They closed QCS forever. I'd like a new New Year's resolution please. How did you manage to fail at your 2023 resolution before 2023 even started? I'm not wasting any more time with you.
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Dec 31, 2022 17:20
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Prof. Crocodile posted:Your 2023 resolution will be to get back into the same shape you were in during your 20's. This will require the purchase of a beanbag chair, a PlayStation 2 and several hundred gallons of cheap beer. But I believe in you! Ignoring your mistaken nutritional and physical exercise advice, would this require me to get back to the same mental shape as well? because I'd rather not.
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Dec 31, 2022 18:07
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| # ? May 13, 2024 00:18 |
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Alright you dinks, I'm going out tonight, so you've got like another hour if you need resolutions after that you're on your own. Or I guess you could ask your loved ones or religious leaders or therapists or whatever but good luck with that poo poo.
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Dec 31, 2022 21:51
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