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AlexDeGruven posted:Perennial "why are tech recruiters complete bags of poo poo?" post. Because there is no downside to them just shotgunning messages out, and they probably report to their managers on "how many candidates they contacted about potential jobs" or some other bullshit metric. One recent morning in the space of approx an hour and a half I got twelve different recruiters hitting me up about the same job.
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Aug 27, 2023 20:48
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 18:30 |
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It is absolutely bucketing down rain here in California. There's a rather serious roof leak at one of the facilities. They need tarps and buckets (or maybe full-on trashcans) and there was talk of getting a pump. The total for all that when they put it into Home Dept for buy online, store pickup came to several hundred dollars, which the maint guy cordially refused to put on his personal credit card for reimbursement "later", so they started calling people at home (on Sunday, for those of you reading this later) trying to find someone with a P-card who would actually answer the work phone. So that someone could go online and buy Home Depot giftcards (You may see where this is going...) and provide the onsite people the info. So that they could check out the cart and get the flood supplies. Very much to his credit, the first person they got a hold of asked for a video call to make sure he was actually talking to the people, and one quick Google meet later, he actually decided to meet the maint guy at Home Depot and pay in person.
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Feb 4, 2024 19:44
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Had a ticket to set up a desk yesterday for someone who was supposed to start at 7 this AM. We'd been trying to recruit this guy for awhile, and the desk requirements were very specific and high-end. Curved 43" monitor flanked by two 32"s. Ergonomic wireless keyboard. Trackball, also wireless. While we were there, Facilities was assembling one of those $1000 chairs. It was a thing of beauty. Cable routed to within an inch of its life. Custom little wooden hut for the laptop. As you may see coming, this morning I walked by and : The monitors have been replaced by a 27" and a 24", the latter with a visible two-inch-long scratch on the screen, and only one power cable and no data cable. The keyboard has been replaced by a normal wireless keyboard with dead batteries, no dongle, and enough chip crumbs to feed a family of roaches. The trackball has been replaced by a wired mouse that was not even hooked up to anything, the cable just dropped down behind the desk, and with shiny-button syndrome. All the cable routing, of course, has been torn apart. And -- most insulting of all -- the wooden laptop house is gone. Locusts. I work with a bunch of loving locusts.
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Feb 27, 2024 20:07
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Update: the big monitor and the trackball have not been found. The side monitors were "reallocated" by management who thought it unfair the new guy got fancy gear while they didn't, and basically were powertripping, and the keyboard was found in the urinal in the nearest men's room. My management is taking a very haha-boys-will-be-boys attitude, which possibly pisses me off more.
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Feb 27, 2024 22:32
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Update to the update. I misheard, the keyboard was found ON the urinal, not IN it. A brave volunteer, using two layers of gloves, reports it is still functioning. Security camera footage is being pulled and HR is involved. People are going to get a come-to-Jesus meeting or two... EDIT: Oh, I forgot to mention. The new hire's travel plans got snarled and he'll be here on the 29th. Fortunately for all concerned. sfwarlock fucked around with this message at 23:25 on Feb 27, 2024 |
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Feb 27, 2024 23:19
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The Mattybee posted:Steal your managers' poo poo since clearly that's okay Oh, we (IT) all have the $160 Sceptre monitors that are not color accurate, not HDR, 70hz, and tend to flicker like an dying florescent after a few months. Cause IT doesn't need the good gear, obviously. Fil5000 posted:I'm assuming they just swapped it for their own in office equipment so it's just moving poo poo around which is lovely but not actually a crime. I mean, they're moving/using stuff that's not theirs without permission. That counts as twocking in my book. Thanks Ants posted:I keep coming back to putting a keyboard in the toilets, what sort of dickhead behaviour is that My theory is that whoever lifted it went to the bathroom carrying it, put it on top of the urinal, did the thing, went to wash (God I hope), and forgot it was up there.
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Feb 28, 2024 03:40
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Shugojin posted:I can collaborate via email! And slack!! During work-from-home, my boss had an all-team camera-required standup at the beginning of the shift every day. I accused him privately of doing it to make sure everyone wasn't working from bed. He did not deny it. For the next month, my custom backgrounds were of ever more increasingly ridiculously ornate beds.
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Feb 28, 2024 16:42
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The latest: the monitor has returned! It was magically under the desk this AM. I'm guessing someone figured out they couldn't suddenly be using it and also probably couldn't sneak it out. FAKEEDIT: ".... uh... does it look to anyone else like it was dropped on that corner?" Yeah. The screen is busted.
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Feb 28, 2024 20:31
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Che Delilas posted:So the BEST case scenario is that this new hire, who the company has apparently gone to considerable lengths to acquire, is going to be given a keyboard that someone has gotten piss on. Oh no, it's definitely not getting reissued. We just tested it out of curiosity. It got bagged and thrown on the e-waste pile. Sibling of TB posted:I'm disappointed, I want to touch one. There's a youtube channel that made a velvet keyboard. sfwarlock fucked around with this message at 18:35 on Feb 29, 2024 |
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Feb 29, 2024 18:32
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sfwarlock posted:EDIT: Oh, I forgot to mention. The new hire's travel plans got snarled and he'll be here on the 29th. Fortunately for all concerned. He arrived on the 29th but, by mutual agreement, decided to take a few days to settle into the area and housing and etc before he started. He was here on Friday for a tour and badging. I offered to give him his laptop then. He declined. This will in future be known as mistake #1. I come in at 7:59 on the dot today and my boss is waiting for me. "Have you seen NewGuy's laptop?" "Yes, it's in secure storage with his name on a post-it." "I assure you, it's not." "Well, it was on Friday. Hang on." I look up the ticket and ping the asset tag. It answers. I remote it and check the /users directory. "Huh. Helen A. Handbasket?" I look at tickets again. 6:30 this morning, when the first tech gets in, Helen was standing there. She'd dropped her laptop - or "it had fallen off the table" - over the weekend and now it doesn't boot. And she's due in a meeting at 7. "Asset (blahblah) was ready to deploy. Set her up with it." Then he'd updated NewGuy's hire ticket. "I needed Asset (blahblah) for ticket (mumble). Imaging Asset (yaketyyak) for NewGuy." Asset (yaketyyak) is ... okay. It's a standard issue. About a year old. Nothing wrong with it, except for a slightly-shiny spacebar. Asset (blahblah) was customized, though. Looks the same externally, but it has an i7, 64 gbs of ram, and a terabyte Samsung 990 Pro. My boss has A Bright Idea. He'll go and get Helen - and (blahblah) - and explain the situation, while I go check on the imaging for (yakketyyak) with the intent to assign it to Helen. And so he makes like a north-going Zax, while I make like a south-going Zax. Except not long afterwards, I run into another north-going Zax in the form of Bonnie. Bonnie works in Helen's department, but that's her day job; by night she streams on twitch (and, rumor has it, occasionally on camgirl sites). Bonnie knows her hardware. Bonnie had a quick look at Helen's new toy and is arriving at IT with two questions: a) since when are we buying gear like that and b) where's hers? After I get rid of her, I find (yaketyyak) sitting in the lab, which is ready to go, and turn around back to the main office to see what luck my boss has had. None at all, it turns out. Helen knows how good the "loaner" laptop is - ("somehow", grouses my boss, and I remind myself to tell Bonnie she owes me one for not underbussing her) - and wants to keep it, and her boss is backing her up on that. This is about to become political. And that is when NewGuy's grandboss (a VP) walks in and wants to know where the laptop is, and by the way, why are there only two monitors (37" curved, obtained at great expense and at the last minute) on the desk, why does he have a wired keyboard, and why does he have a wired trackball? Weren't the requirements clear? Do we perhaps have reading comprehension issues?
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Mar 5, 2024 01:03
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On another topic entirely, Facebook appears to be having an outage. "No, the 'internet' is not down, Facebook is having problems." "No, I do not need to fix your computer, your computer is working fine. Yes, I know it's not loading Facebook, but that's not its fault." "No, I will not 'reboot the router'. That phrase makes no sense in a business context." "No, I will not file a ticket with our ISP. It's also not their fault." "No, I will absolutely not let you in the server room to 'reboot the router' yourself." "Yes, when you hotspot on your phone it's still broken. No, that doesn't mean it's your computer." "No, I will not 'file a ticket' with Facebook. I'm sure they know." "Yes, I understand how important our Social Media Presence is. I am taking this seriously. I am 'doing nothing' because there is nothing I can do." "No, I will not join the Crisis Response Action Planning call for this Level 5 Emergency. I am busy fixing things that I can actually do something about." Please let them leave me alone before I have to break out the car analogies... EDIT: (defeated) "If a tree fell across the entrance to the parking lot, you wouldn't call your mechanic and tell him your car must be broken because you can't drive to work..." sfwarlock fucked around with this message at 18:38 on Mar 5, 2024 |
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Mar 5, 2024 17:49
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TWBalls posted:Does this place not have any security cameras (I assume not if people are just pilfering from others desks)? Was your co-worker in the dark about this, because why the gently caress would they just give out a customized laptop like that? And hell yes I'd be naming names, because goddamn, I've worked fast food with more trustworthy people. We do not have internal security cameras except the one in the corridor outside the storage rooms and the one in the lobby. (And the one inside the server room that I set up, but don't tell HR about that one.) Everything else is outside. And yes, cow orker was in the dark and the laptop for NewHire is externally the same as our standard. Honest mistake on his part. Meanwhile the plot has not just thickened, it has positively gelatinized. The new wireless keyboard for NewHire arrived yesterday and was deployed that afternoon. I joked with the minion that we may want to get a cable lock to attach it to the desk. This morning, I'm over in the area and I note with some concern that the keyboard is not at the desk. I move on and do the things I'm there to do when a few minutes later I hear "What exactly do you mean: 'not again'?!" come from a nearby conference room. Out come Newhire and his boss and they walk to the bathroom. Yeah. Heavy suspicion is on a person we will call Sam Suspect, who was one of the internal contenders for the role before they headhunted NewGuy, and the only reason they haven't hauled him before HR yet is according to his boss, he left work early yesterday for a dental appt and is out sick today dealing with the aftermath.
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Mar 8, 2024 21:04
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AlexDeGruven posted:The dentist thing could be legit. I had to have an emergency root canal a few years ago and that had me in rough shape for a solid 2 days. I mean, it's HIPAA, I don't think HR is even allowed to ask. If they have a nice dentist who'll write them a nice three-day weekend note... Meanwhile, I'm sure you mean an unauthorized USB Mass Storage Device ("thumbdrive") and yeah. I don't work there anymore, let alone him... sfwarlock fucked around with this message at 01:54 on Mar 9, 2024 |
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Mar 9, 2024 01:35
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It is a good art. Meanwhile the coda to all this: he will be 100% work from home for the foreseeable future.
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Mar 11, 2024 21:49
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Kurieg posted:the new hire or the dentist guy? The new hire, and I only know because I got the ticket to change his stuff in inventory from building/floor/cube to wfh/longterm. Dentist appt guy ... shrug.
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Mar 12, 2024 01:43
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Darchangel posted:Guess he/his boss decided being in general population wasn't a good idea with the lunatics you have loose in your office. "Where's NewHire?" "He was moved to solitary." Meanwhile, Dentist Appt Guy... what fake name did I give him... Sam. Sam Suspect. Sam is back in office, denying everything, and muttering that if they try firing him over this they better lawyer up. He might still be on the good drugs.
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Mar 12, 2024 18:14
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Jen heir rick posted:There's literally no reason to have to do that. I live in San Francisco. If not for DST, dawn would be before 5 am for two months, mid-May to mid-July. If permanent DST, dawn would be after 8 am - after I get to work - for about three months, 11/23 - 2/13. I'll take four days of mild jetlag over nearly five months of bullshit, please and thank you.
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Mar 13, 2024 17:32
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I have worked at not two, but three different jobs where the standard BIOS password was letmein. No numbers-for-letters obfuscation, no caps, just there it was. At the third job they didn't even tell me, I tried it out of muscle memory pre-coffee one morning and was, to understate it, startled.
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Mar 14, 2024 00:41
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Che Delilas posted:Some of the highlights I remember are, "Ultrawide monitor returned (because the person had dropped it and broke the screen)," "keyboard found on top of a urinal," and "executive noticed lack of equipment on new hire's desk on start day, asked pointed questions about reading comprehension." "Second keyboard also found on top of a urinal", "heavy suspicion on employee passed over for role" and "new hire will work from home." They are discussing buying him a telepresence robot, to which my reply was "make sure it's rated for water resistance, being thrown off roofs, and disappearing."
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Mar 15, 2024 19:04
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AlexDeGruven posted:That's literally what they are. We used to have some. This one they found is fancy. Apparently, from what I've overheard, computer-assisted steering (indicate where you want to go and it pathfinds), binocular vision to support a VR headset at the user end, and an arm with a finger suitable for pressing elevator buttons and pointing at things with the builtin laser pointer.
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Mar 15, 2024 20:27
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Thanks Ants posted:Encourage them to spend as much money on fun sounding stuff as possible, it's not like you're going to get the money if they don't waste it, and you get to play with things. Yes, except I expect within a week this one will have a bag put over its head from behind, kicked down a stairwell, and then someone will wander in asking us to help "reset and setup" this "iPad they just bought used off Craigslist."
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Mar 15, 2024 21:48
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mllaneza posted:I'd love a telepresence robot that can go under a desk and do cabling work on a cranky PC. Bite your tongue; I think my ability to do that is all that really keeps them from outsourcing me.
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Mar 20, 2024 01:26
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Doesn't take AI to screw that sort of thing up, just trusting of information you find on The Web. Reminds me of something a minion did recently. There was a ticket to image a couple of computers of termed employees in a given department that he scooped out of the queue and didn't ask anyone about. Instead, he youtubes up "how to image a computer", finds a guy showing how to clonezilla (what is this, 1998?) your hard drive as a backup, and decides to go take over the computer of someone who's out sick, take theirs as a source, and clone - a raw hard drive image, from a domain joined computer - over two other computers. Chaos, naturally, ensued. I caught up to him and the situation about when he was googling "computer has lost a trust relationship with the domain". I'm starting to come around to the attitude espoused by a former coworker that it is bad and dangerous to use "the Googles" to look up errors, because people who do that just click on the first link and blindly do whatever it says.
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Mar 20, 2024 15:58
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klosterdev posted:Is minion new to IT? Sounds like the sort of thing I would have done when I was just starting out and still conflating hobbyist with corporate IT. Basically. I've already given him the feedback (more than once) that he doesn't know what he doesn't know and he needs to check with someone before doing something he hasn't done before. The "problem" is that our documentation is written as if you already know how to do and just need to know what to do. sfwarlock fucked around with this message at 03:05 on Mar 21, 2024 |
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Mar 21, 2024 02:21
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Entropic posted:It doesn’t help that Google results for any tech question have gotten unbelievably more lovely in the last few years and are now fully turning into an endless sea of generative AI slop. It really doesn't help that at some point someone at google decided that ignoring part of search queries was fine and good. I want to interact with this person in real life. "And what will you have for your breakfast, sir?" "I dunno, but I know I'm in the mood for sausage. What do you have with sausage?" "Searching for breakfast with sausage. Sausage and eggs; sausage, eggs and toast; bacon, eggs and toast; bacon and black pudding; spam and eggs; spam and toast and eggs; spam, spam- " "Wait, I said sausage!" "Missing:
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Mar 21, 2024 15:34
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Bloody Vikings. guppy posted:This is extremely stupid, but you can force it to include your search term by putting it in quotes. Yes it is and yes you can. But I shouldn't have to say Simon Says on every term.
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Mar 22, 2024 01:42
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devmd01 posted:Tannerite inside a computer case works just fine for the job, so I imagine an MFP would be even better. Just remember the first rule of explosions: if you can see it, it can kill you. (Note that the negation is not necessarily true; if you can't see it, it still might kill you.)
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Apr 6, 2024 20:44
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What is it about sitting at a computer that makes people's brains stop working? We have a third-party service that will integrate with AD for SSO Real Soon Now, but in the meantime people need to log in separately. (Insert separate rant here about how I'm just a cruel arrogant sadist who loves to torture people by asking them politely not to "just reuse 'their' password" for logging onto a third-party service. ) Every 90 days, the service requires 2fa - that is, it sends a code to the email address that needs to be entered along with the password. The words "A code was sent to user@company.com by email. Enter it here:" appeared on his screen in plain English. All they have to do is read the words that re in front of them and do what it says. Yet what do we get. "Logon to Paragon system broken." "What's wrong?" "It doesn't work." "Please specify any error messages?" cc: my boss, my boss's boss, user's boss "IT DOES NOT WORK FIX IT NOW two pages of explaining why it is vitally important for him to access this system" I send the minion (whenever my blood pressure gets to the point I can feel it in my ears, I send the minion). According to what he said before he left for a long lunch: user: ITS BROKEN FIX IT minion: "It sent a code to your email, check there?" user: *blank stare* ITS BROKEN FIX IT minion: "Can you open your email and enter the code?" minion: *types their email address into the place where the website wants the code* user: ITS BROKEN FIX IT minion: *reaches past user, clicks on outlook, clicks on the latest (of ten) emails minion: "See, it sent you a code, it just wanted that code." user: *fifteen feet back with arms crossed* WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT. DO YOU ENJOY MAKING THIS HARDER. DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS IS IMPORTANT minion: "It's just once every 90 days. It's required for security." user: FINE. WHATEVER. JUST DO THE THING SO I CAN WORK. minion: *shows them how to enter the code and leaves* I went and checked. There's a postit on the user's monitor now: PARAGON CODE 50302939 sfwarlock fucked around with this message at 23:44 on Apr 15, 2024 |
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Apr 15, 2024 22:24
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Oh, it's not even that. The code was only useful that once and expires five minutes after it's sent. They're just that unclear on the concept.
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Apr 15, 2024 23:11
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Data Graham posted:90 days from now, they'll be brandishing that postit in your face: IT'S BROKEN FIX IT And screaming at us for changing the code. And telling us how important this is. I have fantasies sometimes of just saying what's actually on my mind. me: "Well, it's physically impossible for us to solve this ticket due to x,y,z." user: "Rawr but this is important! It's violating FERPA! It's affecting patient care! I'm calling your boss!" me: "Oh, well now that you've told me it's important, and you've threatened me with my boss, I guess I'll actually do it instead of playing Minecraft for the rest of the afternoon like I was planning." pause "Oh, no, wait, still out of my hands. Sorry not sorry. Now leave me alone, I'm playing minecraft until people get back to me."
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Apr 16, 2024 00:35
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Arquinsiel posted:This is the point where I realised why you're having this level of obstinate incompetence. Actually, no,. Just one of the many things people have screamed at me over the last two+ decades thinking it's the magic password to turn me from "Lazy IT Fuckup" to "Understanding The Greater Context Of The Problem And Actually Putting Effort Into It". What I despise is people thinking they have to find some sort of secret magic password for me to do my job. Thinking that I ignore tickets until someone tells me the problem is actually important. ("Oh, you mean it's a PROBLEM that shipping can't print labels and can't ship any product? Golly gee whiz, I had no idea! Why, I guess I will come fix that!")
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Apr 16, 2024 01:28
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 18:30 |
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Arquinsiel posted:That's what I was angling at. There are people who genuinely believe that there are magic codes that do everything. Just zero understanding of the world and a wild sense of entitlement. They live in a different world. A world where if you just convince someone it's important - or put leverage on them via their chain of command - poo poo happens faster. "Rules" (policies) are bent or worked around. Because people can do it, but they don't have the authority. It's a totally different world. Richard Feynman said it best: For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled. Bone Crimes posted:Post your favorite (derogatory) Microsoft product names (current or old) : Microsoft Works.
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Apr 17, 2024 03:54
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