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i think for me, even though i'm not american, it has to be the one a couple of years ago where i perfectly farted the first 3 notes from the star spangled banner. and i mean perfectly. share your best farts ITT, or even your worst!!
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Jan 17, 2023 19:28
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Jan 17, 2023 19:33
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 probablyhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZ7AQVE-aRY
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Jan 17, 2023 19:50
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we’ll post if you promise you’re not jerking off to the stories op. We know youre nothing if not honourable
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Jan 17, 2023 19:57
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despite enjoying that video bossy lady posted i do not find farts to be sexually appealing. they are certainly an amazing part of life and nature though, they deserve respect imho
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Jan 17, 2023 20:14
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Any fart that also itches your butthole for you is the best fart ever.
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Jan 17, 2023 20:16
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I had the most unleashed, satisfying, rear end in a top hat shattering fart in bed next to my wife. I pretended to be asleep, she sure wasn't. She sighed heavily. She filed for divorce a week later.
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Jan 17, 2023 20:16
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When I was a shipwright for a cargo barge, I once farted so hard it blew a hole clear through the hull of the ship. It sunk the ship, and with it over $50billion worth of novelty toys. This is a true story, OP.
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Jan 17, 2023 20:18
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I was playing video games one time and my brother and girlfriend were in the room. I farted the tiniest silent but deadly. literally just a tiny poot. It smelled so horrible for so long. It could gag a maggot. It didnt clear out for over an hour and a half.
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Jan 17, 2023 20:31
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Whats it called when you are walking and you fart but you keep farting and the fart kind of feels like its propelling you forward
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Jan 17, 2023 20:32
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Hollismason posted:Whats it called when you are walking and you fart but you keep farting and the fart kind of feels like its propelling you forward if the fart is like stopping and starting with each step i call it trombone walking
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Jan 17, 2023 20:37
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I had two rapid high pitch squeakers and then said "awhoohoo" and it sounded pitch perfect like the sting on the duck tales theme and it was my gfs all time fave fart I subjected her to
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Jan 17, 2023 20:40
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I had a job at a printing place, printing and shipping books. I ripped a fart so stinky production shut down for a good 10 minutes while the stench cleared out.
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Jan 17, 2023 20:43
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Hollismason posted:Whats it called when you are walking and you fart but you keep farting and the fart kind of feels like its propelling you forward tihs is known as "Crop Dusting" op
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Jan 17, 2023 20:47
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oh wait that reminds me. I need to correct myself. My best fart is the time I farted on the owner of the Pittsburgh Pirates baseball team.
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Jan 17, 2023 20:57
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I farted out the OP. It was not the best though.
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Jan 17, 2023 21:00
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An ex of mine once farted against my dorm room wall. My suitemate next door was shocked and abruptly stopped practicing her flute.
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Jan 17, 2023 21:01
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the best are always sharts OP
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Jan 17, 2023 21:02
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All of my farts are masterpieces op
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Jan 17, 2023 21:08
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Hollismason posted:Whats it called when you are walking and you fart but you keep farting and the fart kind of feels like its propelling you forward Newton's Second Law
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Jan 17, 2023 21:08
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Hollismason posted:Whats it called when you are walking and you fart but you keep farting and the fart kind of feels like its propelling you forward I believe it’s called “The Rocket”
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Jan 17, 2023 21:10
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Owlbear Camus posted:I had two rapid high pitch squeakers and then said "awhoohoo" and it sounded pitch perfect like the sting on the duck tales theme and it was my gfs all time fave fart I subjected her to i do have an extra fondness for musical farts i like to imagine even early cavemen would chuckle together at a particularly musical fart
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Jan 17, 2023 21:15
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The best fart you've ever done was this thread.
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Jan 17, 2023 21:17
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I had some vile loving farts last night god drat dont know why they were so bad. Ill keep you guys updated if it happens again tonight
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Jan 17, 2023 21:21
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWeeKxPHltU
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Jan 17, 2023 21:23
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There are no bad farts, just bad owners.
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Jan 17, 2023 21:42
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Here's a little tip: warm/hot-feeling farts are almost always very stinky. Cool farts are mostly just air trapped in the anus and will not stink. Pretty obvious why that probably is, but for now it is just a scientific observation I have made, and an attempt to assist my hard earned knowledge to you, my brethren. It can help you know how to respond to a fart before you've had the displeasure of smelling it.
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Jan 17, 2023 21:50
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The funniest farts are when you are in the shower and your soaking wet and it just makes this loud BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP noise
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Jan 17, 2023 21:58
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Hollismason posted:The funniest farts are when you are in the shower and your soaking wet and it just makes this loud BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP noise Yeah it’s funny until it hangs in the steam, like if it’s your own, disappoint. 
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Jan 17, 2023 22:01
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Prob tub farts because they're a visual indicator of Fart Power. Nothing like ripping a huge fart and big rear end bubbles coming up
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Jan 17, 2023 22:02
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yeah the smell on those shower farts is off the charts. the noise is funny tho very true. would love to rip some tubfarts but i haven't lived somewhere that had a bathtub instead of a shower in like a decade 
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Jan 17, 2023 22:04
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How many farts is too many farts because I fart like 20 times a day
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Jan 17, 2023 22:07
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I had to fart after a big poo poo once, and my rear end in a top hat was a little stretched still and it literally went “WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFFFTTTHHHH” Most of the time it’s an “EEOOORT” which is still p funny. A “wwwuuurpppp” means you poo poo your pants tho. 
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Jan 17, 2023 22:07
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Easy, in the silver room of the Green Vault.
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Jan 17, 2023 22:08
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I ate a bunch of weed chocolate and let out a 30-second squeaker. It sounded like a fire truck siren. It smelled mostly like weed and not fart.
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Jan 17, 2023 22:19
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I had the walkin farts for a good hundred metres at work one day. Laughing through the whole thing was not helping my cause.
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Jan 17, 2023 22:27
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Hollismason posted:How many farts is too many farts because I fart like 20 times a day That's too many, I'm very sorry to report. Most likely you have broken rear end disease
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Jan 17, 2023 23:03
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another good fart is a bed time fart, when your body is at it's most relaxed and you can let out an absolute belter
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Jan 17, 2023 23:08
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teen witch posted:An ex of mine once farted against my dorm room wall. My suitemate next door was shocked and abruptly stopped practicing her flute. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSAVRSyOWbc
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Jan 17, 2023 23:19
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I like the ones where I gross out the dog and he leaves the room. You know how bad a fart has to be to gross out a dog?
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Jan 17, 2023 23:31
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