Ass Media

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Ass Media

«‹›7 »

TIP: Mar 21, 2006; Your move, creep.

TIP fucked around with this message at 09:44 on Feb 16, 2023

# ? Feb 16, 2023 09:36

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 6, 2024 03:25

Punkinhead: Apr 2, 2015

# ? Feb 16, 2023 09:49

Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

# ? Feb 16, 2023 10:23

Punkinhead: Apr 2, 2015

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

# ? Feb 16, 2023 10:24

TIP: Mar 21, 2006; Your move, creep.

# ? Feb 16, 2023 10:52

The Rabbi T. White: Jul 17, 2008

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

# ? Feb 16, 2023 11:03

Funky See Funky Do: Aug 20, 2013; STILL TRYING HARD

Big L posted:

lmao this one caught me so off guard.

# ? Feb 16, 2023 12:22

Squish: Nov 22, 2007; Unrelenting.; Lipstick Apathy

# ? Feb 16, 2023 12:23

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr: Dec 22, 2018; I hope this is "battle" enough for you, friend.

Squish posted:

lol

# ? Feb 16, 2023 14:26

Zopotantor: Feb 24, 2013; ...und ist er drin dann lassen wir ihn niemals wieder raus...

Does this count?

Golden Dragon posted:

# ? Feb 16, 2023 17:55

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Zopotantor posted:

Does this count?

Nah that's just an rear end in a top hat.

# ? Feb 16, 2023 18:04

itry: Aug 23, 2019

TIP posted:

Gary Pooper

# ? Feb 16, 2023 18:09

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

Zil posted:

Nah that's just an rear end in a top hat.

# ? Feb 16, 2023 18:20

Gothic Rite: Dec 22, 2020; The visions of the elders were oracular, though in their terror they kenned not what they saw. When I triumph in this new combat, this unseen and still place beyond reason and closed eyes, what wonders of knowledge will be my plunder?

oof, ow, my rear end

Gothic Rite fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Feb 16, 2023

# ? Feb 16, 2023 19:51

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

itry posted:

Gary Pooper

Hike your pants up like mine!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLnHOQ2YZ58

# ? Feb 16, 2023 20:13

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

# ? Feb 16, 2023 22:25

aswert1223: Dec 6, 2004; The Ultimate Dripping Machine

Big L posted:

# ? Feb 17, 2023 01:18

Powerful Katrinka: Oct 11, 2021; an admin fat fingered a permaban and all i got was this lousy av

TIP posted:

Rear End Window was right there!

# ? Feb 17, 2023 02:30

TIP: Mar 21, 2006; Your move, creep.

Powerful Katrinka posted:

Rear End Window was right there!

it's like you don't get me at all

# ? Feb 17, 2023 02:40

madmatt112: Jul 11, 2016; Is that a cat in your pants, or are you just a lonely excuse for an adult?

Best thread of 2023 so far by far

# ? Feb 17, 2023 06:20

Ralph Hurley: Aug 3, 2009

# ? Feb 17, 2023 07:04

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

I know this is a photoshop thread, but I'm going to risk a~~n rear end~~ probing to post this.

Remember that preacher guy who went to Sentinel Island to try and preach about jesus and got shot in the rear end by arrows?

Well he got shot in the rear end.
You probably need archives to read the thread:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3875155

wesleywillis posted:

Imagine the stories being told around the fires that these people use for cooking:

"Indian fishing vessel dropped some dumbass just off our shores chief. He had come from the land of America, and was going to deliver us to god. The christian God.
This guy dropped a boat in to the water, vessel made it to our shores in 12 minutes,. Didn't shoot the first arrow for about half an hour. Stone tipped, bamboo and feathers. You know why we did that chief? We did it because we don't want to hear about jesus. What he didn't know, was that our arrows are so sharp, they'd stick right in his rear end."

"We didn't even kill him the first day, just shot him in the rear end to try and scare him.Well, we formed ourselves in to tight little groups, kinda like a little group of us, just grabbing our dicks and waiting for him to come again. So we could shoot him in the rear end again. The idea was that he comes to the nearest man, and that white guy starts preaching and hollering and pontificating.
Sometimes we'd shoot him in the rear end, some times we wouldn't shoot him in the rear end.

Sometimes that preacher, he looks right at ya, right in to your eyes. Thing about these preachers is they got black eyes, lifeless eyes, like a doll's eyes. THey don't seem to be living, until they start preaching. Then you hear that terrible high pitched screaming, his face turns red and in spite of all that preaching and hollering and screaming, we shoot them in the rear end."

"You know by the end of that first day, we'd shot a hundred arrows. I don't know how many jesuses we'd heard, maybe a thousand. I don't know how many sermons, he averaged six an hour.
The next morning chief I bumped in to an old friend of mine. Nepa-watongo from the third hut over, stone ball player, Oche-hotombee's mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up, rocked back and forth in the breeze, like a banana leaf. He'd shot preacher man in the back below the waist. Noon on the next day, the stupid preacher came back. He landed on the beach and saw us, Young feller, a lot younger than my son ongomo-watumbi junior. Anyway, he saw us and comes over to start preaching and three hours later, we shot him with an arrow so sharp, it could have cut through a breadfruit tree. You know that was the time I was most excited. Waiting for my turn. I'll never hesitate to shoot a jesus bible thumper again.
So, 1100 arrows went towards the stupid rear end in a top hat, 316 stuck in his rear end"

"Anyway, we shot him in the bum".

Also a song about rear end:

wesleywillis posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOUzDGwX4kA

You went to a forbidden island to bring the natives Jesus.
They shot you with arrows and kicked you out.
You went back to try bringing them Jesus again.
This time they killed you and sent you to Jesus.

Natives killed your rear end
Natives killed your rear end
Natives killed your rear end
Natives killed your rear end

North sentinel island is forbidden.
The people don't want visitors.
They don't give a poo poo about Jesus you rear end in a top hat!
Stay the gently caress away jerk!

Natives killed your rear end
Natives killed your rear end
Natives killed your rear end
Natives killed your rear end

You went to their island twice to tell them about God.
They shot arrows at you and now you are dead.
You are now buried in the sand on the beach.
Very few people are as stupid as you.
Hopefully you will rot in hell jerk.

Natives killed your rear end
Natives killed your rear end
Natives killed your rear end
Natives killed your rear end

Rock over London
Rock on North Sentinel Island

Somethingawful.com do you have stairs in your house?

# ? Feb 17, 2023 13:31

Squish: Nov 22, 2007; Unrelenting.; Lipstick Apathy

Anyone need a trunk SATA controller?

Edit: You will never be able to look at an asmedia chip the same way again.

Squish fucked around with this message at 14:32 on Feb 17, 2023

# ? Feb 17, 2023 14:25

Squish: Nov 22, 2007; Unrelenting.; Lipstick Apathy

Radio Paranoia posted:

"Help me, Sadako. I'm stuck!"

You may (or may not) be surprised at how many different variations of the "stepsister stuck in washing machine" search I had to do, in order to find a suitable source.

# ? Feb 17, 2023 14:32

Funky See Funky Do: Aug 20, 2013; STILL TRYING HARD

and people say artists dont work hard

# ? Feb 17, 2023 14:53

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

Squish posted:

Anyone need a trunk SATA controller?

Edit: You will never be able to look at an asmedia chip the same way again.

Always been a fan of Assrock Motherboards

Or Assus Laptops, my favorite!

CommieGIR fucked around with this message at 16:20 on Feb 17, 2023

# ? Feb 17, 2023 16:11

Squish: Nov 22, 2007; Unrelenting.; Lipstick Apathy

Hmm. Do I photoshop that as an rear end with a guitar, or Dwayne Johnson with an anus for a face?\

Decisions...

E:

CommieGIR posted:

Or Assus Laptops, my favorite!

It seems like you overlooked an obvious opportunity there.

Squish fucked around with this message at 18:03 on Feb 17, 2023

# ? Feb 17, 2023 16:15

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

Squish posted:

You may (or may not) be surprised at how many different variations of the "stepsister stuck in washing machine" search I had to do, in order to find a suitable source.

What Winnie the Pooh does to some motherfuckers

# ? Feb 17, 2023 18:31

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

Squish posted:

Hmm. Do I photoshop that as an rear end with a guitar, or Dwayne Johnson with an anus for a face?\

Decisions...

E:

It seems like you overlooked an obvious opportunity there.

Gamers being assholes: This checks out!

# ? Feb 17, 2023 18:32

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

Junk posted:

i can show you my rear end

# ? Feb 17, 2023 19:46

SAY YOHO: Oct 5, 2021

2001: A Space Assdussy

SAY YOHO fucked around with this message at 20:31 on Feb 17, 2023

# ? Feb 17, 2023 20:18

Flipperwaldt: Nov 11, 2011; Won't somebody think of the starving hamsters in China?

I can't choose between rear end of a woman and scent of an rear end and the poster for it isn't inspiring any comedy, so all you will have to do without.

# ? Feb 17, 2023 21:06

Jean Pony: Nov 27, 2007

# ? Feb 17, 2023 21:26

Big L: Oct 30, 2005; Fedora Emelianenko

# ? Feb 17, 2023 23:24

TIP: Mar 21, 2006; Your move, creep.

Big L posted:

big l really gets this thread

# ? Feb 17, 2023 23:26

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me