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.. La Forge picks up a dry erase marker and draws on the star chart display *audible moans around the table *picard walks over and grabs marker from geordies hand “This isn’t even a dry erase marker, it’s just a regular marker” *outbursts range from “aw suck a piss” to “get sucked into a warp nebula moran” *picard orders riker to put the marker in a lockbox “Now without any further delays, how can we break the prime directive?” 
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Jan 23, 2023 19:38
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They tell me I have moved up from chief toilet attendent with only being able to offer an array of scents and powders to now also ensuring bidet repair, toilet repair, as well as offering my full assortment of scents, hot towels, and powders. best moment of my life.
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Jan 23, 2023 19:41
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Just looking at porn on the PADD while someone is droning on about multiphasic arrays
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Jan 23, 2023 19:43
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ManBoyChef posted:They tell me I have moved up from chief toilet attendent with only being able to offer an array of scents and powders to now also ensuring bidet repair, toilet repair, as well as offering my full assortment of scents, hot towels, and powders. This crewman's personal log from 3 days later: "I've been replaced by a hologram  "
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Jan 23, 2023 19:43
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Earl Grey, hot
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Jan 23, 2023 19:43
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Toilets have been replaced by a alien species that subsist on excretions from other creatures. Star Fleet in its idealistic visions declares that the species must survive. Everyone's really unhappy about having their assholes and dicks sucked on by this gross alien creature but what are you gonna do sacrifice your principles?
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Jan 23, 2023 19:44
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Wondering why I'm wasting my time screwing around in space with these weirdos in singlets when I could be at home in my perfect & free Mastabatorium
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Jan 23, 2023 19:44
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Data misunderstands a statement I made and I end up being buttfucked by a android with the strength of ten men in full view of the bridge crew
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Jan 23, 2023 19:45
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ManBoyChef posted:They tell me I have moved up from chief toilet attendent with only being able to offer an array of scents and powders to now also ensuring bidet repair, toilet repair, as well as offering my full assortment of scents, hot towels, and powders. There is not one reference to a toilet in any next gen episode so we have to assume they just don’t have them. Maybe they just poo poo through the force field in the cargo bay? Nobody ever says “drat I have to take a poo poo”. Or like, maybe it all just goes back into the replicators. 
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Jan 23, 2023 19:48
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A ion storm during a transportation causes my dick and balls to swap places with my rear end in a top hat
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Jan 23, 2023 19:52
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ikanreed posted:Just looking at porn on the PADD while someone is droning on about multiphasic arrays
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Jan 23, 2023 19:53
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Riker is explaining a breach of the neutral zone when Worf suddenly lets out a Klingon-sized fart and looks around as Troi, Geordi and Data turn and look at him. "I... ate Gagh last night... ...Apoloigies."
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Jan 23, 2023 19:56
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So before we get started, whatever happened to the blonde lady who used to work here? The one with the pixie cut. Did she quit? Pretty lovely to not put in 2 weeks notice *whispers* Ohh right, the tar monster. Lol my bad, sorry, sorry
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Jan 23, 2023 19:56
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Getting paralyzing vertigo from looking out the huge window into space.
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Jan 23, 2023 19:56
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I walk into the holodeck and a Cligula-esque orgy is paused "Computer, end program" and then all the people and furniture disappear, and dozens of huge loads of cums in the holographic peoples' pussies mouths and assholes that were once suspended in mid-air drop onto the floor of the holodeck in several audible *splats* What fresh hell it is to be the janitor aboard the NCC-1701D
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Jan 23, 2023 19:58
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i put on my robe and laser sword
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Jan 23, 2023 20:00
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Hollismason posted:Data misunderstands a statement I made and I end up being buttfucked by a android with the strength of ten men in full view of the bridge crew please stop stealing my holodeck programs
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Jan 23, 2023 20:01
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I get selected for my first away mission beam down with the rest of the crew then die instantly its not clear what killed me only that my bones exploded
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Jan 23, 2023 20:02
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:There is not one reference to a toilet in any next gen episode so we have to assume they just don’t have them. Maybe they just poo poo through the force field in the cargo bay? Nobody ever says “drat I have to take a poo poo”. Or like, maybe it all just goes back into the replicators. Data actually has a secondary function as a waste processing unit. Everyone just empties their pee and poo into his mouth and he converts it into energon cubes to power the Enterprise. The process is never shown on screen but astute viewers can parse together the details from dialogue.
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Jan 23, 2023 20:03
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Was it just me, or was ever one we talked to on that world just the biggest dick? Do we really have to save them? There's like seven million known intelligent life forms, I really don't think anyone would care all that much if we just sort looked the other one on this one. Would be doing the galaxy a favour really.
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Jan 23, 2023 20:07
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I CLOGGED THE HOLOTOILET AGAIN CAPTAIN
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Jan 23, 2023 20:13
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Worf said the n word
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Jan 23, 2023 20:14
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During my off time, I like to hang out in engineering so I can witness the newest malfunctions and how they inevitably gently caress up LaForge. Also whenever he talks to a girl, I make huge, wet fart sounds with my mouth.
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Jan 23, 2023 20:16
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*marches up to the replicator* WATER, BATHTUB, THOT
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Jan 23, 2023 20:18
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One night in Ten Forward, I think I'm hosed up synthehol and I try to fight worf, who kicks my rear end with a double fisted chop to my gut, followed by an open handed strike to my forehead.
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Jan 23, 2023 20:18
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Yeah so, what exactly is the difference between the red and gold uniforms? I know blue is for nerds, but gold and red seem to be completely random.
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Jan 23, 2023 20:19
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I’m the guy saying you know, these”windows” are actually transparent aluminum to everyone, even the engineers who know more about the ship than I do.
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Jan 23, 2023 20:21
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The rioting started approximately seven minutes after we informed the crew the holodeck would be down for scheduled maintenance for the next three days. We've lost a third of our crew already. The computer predicts there will be less then ten survivors by morning. I suggest we just self destruct the ship and end this suffering now. Gordie for the love of god, can you stop humping that chair already!!!
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Jan 23, 2023 20:22
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Well I'm stumped, lets just ask that magic bartender lady again about what we should do.
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Jan 23, 2023 20:23
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*pokes head into briefing room* SEPARATE THE SAUCER SECTION!!! *runs away*
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Jan 23, 2023 20:25
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Extra Large Marge posted:Well I'm stumped, lets just ask that magic bartender lady again about what we should do. We checked ten forward ans she wasn't there. I er, don't think we could afford her this episode.
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Jan 23, 2023 20:27
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Mr. Meagles posted:So before we get started, whatever happened to the blonde lady who used to work here? The one with the pixie cut. Did she quit? Pretty lovely to not put in 2 weeks notice Looks like Tasha Yar got Yasha Tarred! What do you mean I have *another* meeting with HR?
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Jan 23, 2023 20:30
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Turns out my name is a racial slur in Vulcan.
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Jan 23, 2023 20:34
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Worf stepping onto the bridge wearing a red hat that says MAKE QO'NOS GREAT AGAIN
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Jan 23, 2023 20:35
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Reg are you masturbating?
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Jan 23, 2023 20:38
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They just found out that Geordi spends like 90% of his time at work having hardcore porn streamed into optical sensors in his visor
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Jan 23, 2023 20:40
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I'm on probation for another month after the away team caught me using the "melt the target's skin off and cause their head to explode" setting on my phaser again why is it even there if we're not going to use it?!? besides those peacenik sentient clouds were asking for it
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Jan 23, 2023 20:51
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GET YE FLASK
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Jan 23, 2023 21:00
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Vampire Panties posted:Wondering why I'm wasting my time screwing around in space with these weirdos in singlets when I could be at home in my perfect & free Mastabatorium The federation 100% made pornography illegal.
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Jan 23, 2023 21:03
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That's why everyone went to quarks.
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Jan 23, 2023 21:03
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