someone wearing a watch

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Khanstant

*looks at my wrist to hope the crystals got the time right*

# ? Jan 26, 2023 06:04

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# ? May 5, 2024 23:29

Khanstant

im going to sit down and read the tv guide and check my watch to see if i can watch the pre scheduled television programs

# ? Jan 26, 2023 06:06

Khanstant

augh, i need to jam my hand and arm up to the elbow or more into this but it'll mess with the delicate crystals and whirlygigs that almost give me a good enough idea of what time it is... but if i take off my watch everyone will see my bad idea to get a tattoo of a watch with the wrong time all the time...

# ? Jan 26, 2023 06:09

baka of lathspell

milhouse! I�m an old man with a big beard. you�re supposed to be the watchman. what happened?

I was watching time Bart. I saw the whole thing, Bart. first time slowly decayed you� then you decayed

^{join dork order}
_{sig by ??? (<3 u)}

# ? Jan 26, 2023 06:09

Manifisto

looking out the tour bus window at Stonehenge, blankly admiring the immensity of the ancient granite dolmens, then smugly sneaking the tiniest glance at my wrist

# ? Jan 26, 2023 06:13

Khanstant

i catch someone's eye in the reflection of the glass in my watch, i can tell they are wondering what time it is for some reason. i look them in the eye and say "the time is now, this is the moment you've been waiting for, make your dreams come true and let none stand in your way, nothing else matters besides recreating your most recent remembered dream" and then i hand them my watch "this was my grandfather's watch, and if you take it, i will accuse you of stealing it and will say you stole it. Haven't you noticed my body language acting like you're holding me up, that you've been holding a gun pointing at me, it's not loaded but if you don't my watch back I will detonate a bullet with your fingerprints on it that I already have embedded in my chest. there are cameras in here and they can see you but not hear me, so it looks just like you tried to rob me so please give my watch back it has sentimental value"

# ? Jan 26, 2023 06:15

Khanstant

im trapped in the bathroom stall, there is no bidet or toilet paper and the ghouls of food past have waylaid me with mess; fortunately i have my watch. it may not flush but ill be gone before i have to find out

# ? Jan 26, 2023 06:18

Khanstant

intelligence is buying a watch with over 1,000 individual parts
wisdom is not putting people with only 130 part watches into fruit salad

# ? Jan 26, 2023 06:22

baka of lathspell

when the shadow of the sash appeared on the curtains it was between seven and eight o clock and then i was in time again

- someone wearing a watch

^{join dork order}
_{sig by ??? (<3 u)}

# ? Jan 26, 2023 06:22

Manifisto

I am sometimes asked why I wear my watch on my dingus. my reply is as simple as it is devastating: are we not all wearing a watch on our dingus (including lady dingus), at every moment of our lives?

# ? Jan 26, 2023 06:23

Khanstant

*crying in the stairwell because the bullies kept calling me 5-arms*

# ? Jan 26, 2023 06:23

baka of lathspell

Khanstant posted:

*crying in the stairwell because the bullies kept calling me 5-arms*

lol

^{join dork order}
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# ? Jan 26, 2023 06:25

Khanstant

only watch wearers will get this don't bother if u don't wear watch: that brief moment of panic in the silences between the seconds ticking on the watch, where life feels hollow and empty like maybe it already ended and you'd literally commit illegal bank robbery crimes just to get to afford one more tick

# ? Jan 26, 2023 06:28

Khanstant

if you break someone's grandfather clock and then give them even a cheap watch in return, they can't charge you with a crime since legally it's still an upgrade

# ? Jan 26, 2023 06:33

Khanstant

tossing my watch into a pot to prevent it boiling

# ? Jan 26, 2023 07:19

Moo Cowabunga: [Office Worker.

Platinum User Pot Smoke Phoenix!

VANISHER

HEATHER PAPPS

https://giant.gfycat.com/WellgroomedImperfectHaddock.webm the vanisher

# ? Jan 26, 2023 08:06

Manifisto

Moo Cowabunga posted:

"goodness, thank you!" says the attractive lady, who then rushes off, presumably having some urgent business elsewhere. as she hastily departs, you can't help but smile: works every time.

# ? Jan 26, 2023 08:22

Dr. Honked: eat it you slaaaaaaag

i'd love one of these but they're loving expensive. it's a special watch for magicians that emits smoke. it doesn't tell the time, it only smokes
https://www.penguinmagic.com/p/14182

^{thanks deep dish pete moss and Plant MONSTER}

# ? Jan 26, 2023 15:22

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

Khanstant posted:

im trapped in the bathroom stall, there is no bidet or toilet paper and the ghouls of food past have waylaid me with mess; fortunately i have my watch. it may not flush but ill be gone before i have to find out

I have some great news about the best travel bidet of 2023

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Jan 26, 2023 15:52

Khanstant

*freaking out because my watch won't tell me what year it is*

# ? Jan 26, 2023 17:42

RepeatingMeme: this place is not a place of honor

no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here

nothing valued is here

what is here was dangerous and repulsive to us

this place is best shunned and left uninhabited

Put your phones away guys we dont need them to calculate the tip, ive got a calculator watch! No no turn that bill over i dont care if they have recommended amounts we can just see how close i get! Now how do i start a calculation, hmmm, no thats the timer... Wait now its beeping hold on maybe if i press- KYLE PUT THAT BILL DOWN IVE GOT THIS. Oh wait i put it on military time, so its not that, maybe if i hold theses two buttons... Tyler, whose the watch guy me or you? just let the master work here okay? poo poo i think i deleted my alarm, oh yeah check this out i can set alarms on this bad boy! Pretty cool right? okay ill just fix that real quick then i can add up the tip

Thanks Justa Dandelion, Dumb Sex-Parrot, deep dish peat moss!

# ? Jan 26, 2023 19:05

Manifisto

RepeatingMeme posted:

Put your phones away guys we dont need them to calculate the tip, ive got a calculator watch! No no turn that bill over i dont care if they have recommended amounts we can just see how close i get! Now how do i start a calculation, hmmm, no thats the timer... Wait now its beeping hold on maybe if i press- KYLE PUT THAT BILL DOWN IVE GOT THIS. Oh wait i put it on military time, so its not that, maybe if i hold theses two buttons... Tyler, whose the watch guy me or you? just let the master work here okay? poo poo i think i deleted my alarm, oh yeah check this out i can set alarms on this bad boy! Pretty cool right? okay ill just fix that real quick then i can add up the tip

# ? Jan 26, 2023 19:10

Ass-penny

RepeatingMeme posted:

Put your phones away guys we dont need them to calculate the tip, ive got a calculator watch! No no turn that bill over i dont care if they have recommended amounts we can just see how close i get! Now how do i start a calculation, hmmm, no thats the timer... Wait now its beeping hold on maybe if i press- KYLE PUT THAT BILL DOWN IVE GOT THIS. Oh wait i put it on military time, so its not that, maybe if i hold theses two buttons... Tyler, whose the watch guy me or you? just let the master work here okay? poo poo i think i deleted my alarm, oh yeah check this out i can set alarms on this bad boy! Pretty cool right? okay ill just fix that real quick then i can add up the tip

loving kyle am I right

thank you so much to nesamdoom for the scurry fall sig!

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ #YesNutNovember - add this to your sig if you love and support BYOB's own nut

# ? Jan 26, 2023 20:03

Finger Prince

Oh this? It's just my dive watch. Sure it's ugly, dirty, and it has a sticky strap that smells like stale beer and piss, but it has character, man.

# ? Jan 26, 2023 23:08

Scuba Trooper

baka fwocka fwame posted:

milhouse! I�m an old man with a big beard. you�re supposed to be the watchman. what happened?

I was watching time Bart. I saw the whole thing, Bart. first time slowly decayed you� then you decayed

# ? Jan 27, 2023 01:15

Khanstant

anyone got the time?

the most innocent question that cuts deepest to those of us wristless

# ? Jan 27, 2023 02:36

Finger Prince

Speaking in to my apple watch: "hey siri, what time is it?"

# ? Jan 27, 2023 03:30

Khanstant

Siri "u tell me ur the one w hands"

# ? Jan 27, 2023 04:30

Khanstant

WATCH OUT

dang ill have to wait for them to restock

# ? Jan 27, 2023 05:54

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

it's nice, but it's the most disappointing gift i ever got. it's a birthday gift from a couple I am friends with, a fitness model and a pilates instructor.

not what i meant when i said "i wanna watch"

# ? Jan 27, 2023 18:52

RepeatingMeme: this place is not a place of honor

no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here

nothing valued is here

what is here was dangerous and repulsive to us

this place is best shunned and left uninhabited

A watch? Oh, uh, y-yeah ive got a watch totally haha, yeah it sure is cool being a watch owner, not like those poor idiots without real watches on, haha right?

Shoves entire arm into my pocket to hide the apple "watch" on my wrist

Thanks Justa Dandelion, Dumb Sex-Parrot, deep dish peat moss!

# ? Jan 27, 2023 19:04

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

if its not a mechanical watch made in the klokker region of switzerland you might as well be a peasant

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jan 28, 2023 21:35

Khanstant

sneering at a caveman using their sundial

# ? Jan 29, 2023 00:32

Quadramind

I got a watch that tells me I'm sick and lazy. It says, hey! calm down and get some damned exercise you little poo poo, and go to bed while you're at it

# ? Jan 29, 2023 13:31

super sweet best pal

Moo Cowabunga posted:

A no briefs history of time

# ? Jan 29, 2023 22:05

Robot Made of Meat

Moo Cowabunga posted:

Given battery and LED technology of the time this was offered, I'd expect the battery to last not more than a month.

Which works, because the novelty of it wouldn't last long enough to set it and adjust the band.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!