|
Breakfast with Chuck Schumer? I don't want to watch that guy eat. 5k homeless walk? That just seems cruel. Cornell commencement address? Sorry, but Tracy Jordan doesn't do safety schools.
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 00:18
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 2, 2024 12:40 |
|
|
Here comes the funcooker!
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 00:25
|
|
|
Lemon. Lesbian. Frankenstein. Wants. Her. Shoes. Back.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 00:43
|
|
|
You look like that flash card they told me means sadness.Davros1 posted:Ham. This is still the noise that plays on my phone when a timer is done
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 00:57
|
|
|
Passing out and cursing? On St. Patrick's Day? Is nothing sacred?
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 07:49
|
|
|
ONE YEAR LATER posted:Dear Liz Lemon: While other women have bigger boobs than you, no other woman has as big a heart. When I saw you getting ready to go out and get nailed by a bunch of guys last night, I knew for sure it was over between us, and for the first time since the '86 World Series, I cried... I cried like a big, dumb homo. And if it was up to me, we'd be together forever. But there's a new thing called "women's liberation", which gives you women the right to choose and you have chosen to abort me, and that I must live with. So tonight, when you arrive home, I'll be gone. I officially renounce my squatter's rights. He's so loving funny
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 08:01
|
|
|
That place was way better than the Indian restaurant I go to back in Boston: O'Doyles.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 08:22
|
|
|
Cooter Burger? What do you think I am, a cartoon dog? The president named me that! He gave you two nicknames? "Cooter" because I look like a turtle, and "Burger" because he saw me eating a hamburger one time! We have to get out of here. It wasn't even a hamburger... it was a sandwich.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 08:24
|
|
|
Wrong! You get it at my coffee vending machine. 38th & 6th in the basement of the K-Mart. You just go downstairs, you get the key from David and BOOM! You plug in the machine and...
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 08:45
|
|
|
And do NOT write another sketch about Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. No one knows who Krang is; it would be a waste of time to talk about Krang on television. No. More. Krang.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 10:12
|
|
|
I found it on my favorite website, stop showing off Dot Com
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 12:41
|
|
|
You know what they say, boys. If you can't take the heat, get off of Mickey Rourke's sex grill.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 12:42
|
|
|
Gentlemen, tonight I'm gonna laugh harder than I did at Dotcom's play.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 13:50
|
|
|
Live every week like it's shark week.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 14:13
|
|
|
We're on a show within a show! My real name is Tracy Morgan!
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 15:16
|
|
|
"Tech stocks, Foxy Moneybags! Tech stocks!"
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 16:22
|
|
|
Well, I'll cancel the sitter for tonight. Tell him he won't have to come sit on us after all.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 17:42
|
|
|
NBC had the first two black characters on TV... sort of. For "Alfie & Abner," NBC hired one African-American and one Caucasian because they thought two black people on the same show would make the audience nervous; a rule NBC still uses today!
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 17:45
|
|
|
Look how Greenzo's testing. They love him in every demographic: colored people, broads, fairies, commies... gosh, we've gotta update these forms.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 17:48
|
|
|
Oh no no no, we need idiots. You need idiots. Who do you think is watching your show? Funky taste makers? Look at this chart: black nerds, Jet Blue passengers who fall asleep with the TV on, pets whose owners have died, and idiots.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 19:54
|
|
|
You'd better watch your mouth before I show you the back of my hand!
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 21:36
|
|
|
An ex-pornstar who talks to ghosts or a remake of little house on the prairie?
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 22:50
|
|
|
Does 30 Rock hold the record for most "jokes per minute"? I can't think of anything of quality that beats it.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 22:58
|
|
|
My boyfriend was supposed to pick me up after the shoot so I called him and was like “OJ, where are you?” and he was like “Wait, you’re alive? Then who did I kill?”
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 00:50
|
|
|
You and this gravy face have slarneyed up a real donnybrook!
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 01:14
|
|
|
Who's that kid? Oh, that's Jose. I met him through this program that places troubled adults with child mentors.
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 01:19
|
|
|
"I'll wait. Not forever." "I'll try. Wicked hawd."
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 03:01
|
|
|
We've stopped making and become a country of consumers. Well, I, for one, am done consuming. And I'm ready to make.
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 05:08
|
|
|
I remember the day he was born. He looked up at me and he said “Mama, I am not a person. My body’s just a flesh vessel for an immortal being whose name if you heard it would make you lose your mind.”
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 05:15
|
|
|
I'm so glad you asked, Kabbalah is wonderful religion that mixes the fun part of judaism with magic.
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 05:38
|
|
|
Hughmoris posted:Does 30 Rock hold the record for most "jokes per minute"? I can't think of anything of quality that beats it. Absolutely. Aside from the static sight gags (Sherlock Homie: One does the duty, the other gets the booty"), there are a lot of bg doing funny poo poo. In the studio shots, there's almost always a pair of a petite woman carrying something like a huge planter and a big guy with a single tiny object. I think it has to do with having your writing room (or at least a good chunk of them) on set throwing out adlibs and alternates, which Tina Fey does.
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 07:27
|
|
|
They got pretzels downstairs!!!
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 07:38
|
|
|
There's a gym in the building? Oh yeah, right past the vending machines Oooo, vending machines! What kind? I wouldn't know
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 08:04
|
|
|
It just sounds so HATEFUL when you say it!
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 09:06
|
|
|
*smuggly* Blimpies
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 14:12
|
|
|
Dammit Johnny, you know I love my big beef and cheddar!!!
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 14:48
|
|
|
Tracy, you're going to die... when I tell you who I'm dating: Squeaky Fromme! She is.. difficult.
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 16:52
|
|
|
N B Ceeeeeeeeee A top ten network
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 17:43
|
|
|
It’s just G now, Jack. I sold the E. To Samsung. They’re Samesung now.
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 18:26
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 2, 2024 12:40 |
|
|
We beat all the Music Choice channels, except for, of course, Latin Beats.
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2023 18:37
|
|
