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I found it on my favorite website, stop showing off Dot Com
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Feb 10, 2023 12:41
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You know what they say, boys. If you can't take the heat, get off of Mickey Rourke's sex grill.
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Feb 10, 2023 12:42
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It just sounds so HATEFUL when you say it!
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Feb 11, 2023 09:06
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Dammit Johnny, you know I love my big beef and cheddar!!!
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Feb 11, 2023 14:48
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My single "My Single Is Dropping" is dropping.
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Feb 14, 2023 17:07
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It's after six. What am I, a farmer?
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Feb 15, 2023 22:37
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MokBa posted:The Irma Luhrman-Merman murder gently caress I forgot the Rural Juror bit, it's so good
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Feb 16, 2023 06:51
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I've never been so disrespected in my life. And I've gone to AND worked at the post office.
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Feb 17, 2023 11:28
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UGH, MY PERIOD
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Feb 19, 2023 14:35
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Haaaaaaaaam
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Feb 23, 2023 21:38
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You can try to change New York but it's like Jay-Z says: concrete bunghole where dreams are made up! There's nothing you can do!
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Feb 23, 2023 21:48
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I just wanna wake up in the morning and look over and see my husband asleep on our neighbor's roof.
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Feb 24, 2023 00:09
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stuart scott posted:if you're ever trying to remember a full quote i made a search engine for this sort of thing -- https://funcooker.fun You are the best. I love this.
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Feb 25, 2023 16:33
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Five inches, but it's thick.
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Feb 27, 2023 02:20
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I'm gonna make you a mixtape. You like Phil Collins? I have two ears and a heart, don't I?
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Mar 2, 2023 00:42
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She is ... staunchly in favor of Cocoa Puffs.
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Mar 2, 2023 02:53
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I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I just write in the Lord's name. Those are Republican, we count those.
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Mar 8, 2023 20:35
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ninjahedgehog posted:Are you drunk? The longing look she gives the bottle has stayed with me for years, it's just so funny
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Mar 12, 2023 23:54
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Give up like you gave up on your relationship with David Blaine? He's the one who drove the wedge! With his magic!
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Mar 15, 2023 17:42
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Happy Valentine's Day ... no one.
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Apr 20, 2023 10:24
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Grizz, Dotcom, thank you for pretending to be bouncers. Maybe someday we'll live in a world where you ask us to pretend to be scientists.
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Apr 21, 2023 16:18
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We KNOW what art is. IT'S PAINTINGS OF HORSES
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Apr 24, 2023 00:50
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Well, it's only positive reinforcement when they say it to you. In my case they're just stating the facts. I do look like the Arrow shirt man, I did lace up my shoes professionally and I did do a fabulous job finishing my muffin.
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May 6, 2023 16:51
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IF IT'S A BLONDE, I WILL KILL MYSELF!
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May 30, 2023 09:41
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Kenneth, a word? Balloon!!!
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May 30, 2023 10:31
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which one is rich dude
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May 31, 2023 22:21
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theflyingexecutive posted:You wanna go to Vegas and buy a bunch of sarcophagi? that Tracy has been like this since season one, what a gift
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Jun 9, 2023 20:30
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Never follow a hippie to a second location
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Jun 20, 2023 23:57
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GO JUMP UP YOUR MOTHER
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Jun 22, 2023 13:08
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Let's not do this, Elizabeth.
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Jul 2, 2023 21:10
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Harlem Globetrotter. Does that name mean NOTHING to you?
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Jul 17, 2023 17:58
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Jerusalem posted:Just watched the season 5 episode where Liz and Jack accidentally get married and I gotta say it was genuinely heartwarming watching their faces as Weinerslav listed all the signs of a workplace relationship/partnership. On rewatch it's fun how Colleen immediately thinks Liz is perfect for Jack and treats his other partners with contempt forever. They're platonic soulmates! It's not only possible but desirable! Even for annoying people!
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Jul 25, 2023 13:51
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It's a shame because the line delivery would have been perfectly adequate payoff
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Jul 31, 2023 18:38
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Secret plan!!!
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Aug 10, 2023 02:19
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Grassy Knowles posted:Oh no, my period! Chocolate chocolate chocolate! Ack!
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Aug 21, 2023 02:49
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potee posted:GE could never make something so... unique. We'll have to pass this off to one of our subsidiaries. You see, GE owns KitchenAll of Colorado, which in turn owns JMI of Stamford, which is a majority shareholder of Pokerfastlane.com, which recently acquired the Sheinhardt Wig Company which owns NBC outright. NBC owns Winnipeg Iron Works which owns the AHP Chanagi Party Meats company of Pyongyang, North Korea, and they will make the Meat Machine. An incredible glimpse into the future of private equity
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Aug 23, 2023 23:31
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Dot Com, this need you have to be the smartest guy in the room is ... off-putting. I guess that's why I'm still single. 
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Sep 24, 2023 10:29
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"The lack of oxygen is making me orgasm!" is so goddamn funny
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Sep 30, 2023 10:49
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chocolate chocolate chocolate gahhhh
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Dec 6, 2023 05:15
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Did you just try to control my body with your white hand?
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Jan 5, 2024 15:39
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