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“It’s hard for me to watch American Idol because I have perfect pitch.” Now you try. “It’s hard for me to watch American Idol, because there’s a water bug on my channel changer.”
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Feb 13, 2023 05:41
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The Irma Luhrman-Merman murder Turned the bird’s word lurid The whir and the purr of a twirler girl She would the world were demurer The insurer’s allure For valor were pure Kari Wuhrer One fervid whirl over her turgid error
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Feb 16, 2023 05:32
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Slamhound posted:Tracy's is a tactile, kinesthetic learning style. Dot Com, so help me God
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Feb 16, 2023 15:06
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Leap Day is maybe my favorite episode of any sitcom ever. He’s peeping out of his shell like a umm…what’s that animal? You know, the one that crosses so slowly across the road and then you swerve to make sure you hit it and then a car coming the other way swerves the other way and goes off a cliff? And then that night, you and your companion have the greatest sex of your lives because you’re both sharing a secret?
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Feb 17, 2023 04:59
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What? This? I was at a costume party earlier this evening And the host's dog attacked me So I had to stab it.
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Feb 18, 2023 01:57
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Did you see what happened here? We turned an argument into an opportunity to become better friends!Divot posted:I sure do love them french-fried pataters. This is the highest number of jokes anyone has ever crammed into four words.
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Feb 21, 2023 05:06
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Here comes the funcooker.fun!
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Feb 25, 2023 16:47
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I work at the marriage bureau, but I'll never get married. 
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Feb 27, 2023 20:37
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I love how many references to Pizzarina Sbarro there are throughout the show until she finally gets to be a character in the last season.
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Mar 4, 2023 16:30
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Dear Liz Lemon, While other women have bigger boobs than you, no other woman has as big a heart. When I saw you getting ready to go out and get nailed by a bunch of guys last night, I knew for sure it was over between us, and for the first time since the ‘86 World Series, I cried… I cried like a big, dumb homo. And if it was up to me, we’d be together forever. But there’s a new thing called "women’s liberation," which gives you women the right to choose and you have chosen to abort me, and that I must live with. So tonight, when you arrive home, I’ll be gone. I officially renounce my squatter’s rights. Goodbye and good luck. I'll never forget you.
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Mar 5, 2023 03:52
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And the tree was happy. Shel Silverstein... was a communist
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Mar 16, 2023 03:08
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I tried to steal beer from a Duane Reade and some black guy cold cocked me. Like a security guard? I don’t know pal. I don’t see people that way.
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Mar 17, 2023 02:56
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I got four inches of steel that'll change your mind.
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Mar 25, 2023 01:41
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This iced tea is so strong!
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Mar 25, 2023 12:02
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theflyingexecutive posted:That's cute. And what insolvent country do you come from? Ok! Now admit that the U.N. is useless! It is. Half the building is a laser tag arena.
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Mar 25, 2023 23:53
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Imagine a dessert for two, Tahitian vanilla-bean ice-cream in a pool of cognac, drizzled in the world's most expensive chocolate, Amedei Boselliana, covered with shaved white, black and clear truffles, and topped with edible 25-carat gold leaf. Can you imagine anything better?
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Apr 2, 2023 02:59
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I will be wearing head-to-toe orange, in honor of protestant William of Orange, inventor of the Orange, according to Yahoo! Answers.
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Apr 2, 2023 22:45
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Fine, Lithgow. I'll do the right thing. God!
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May 3, 2023 00:44
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doNALD glover
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May 19, 2023 01:42
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There's no link between diabetes and diet, Ken. That's a white myth! Like Larry Bird, or Colorado!
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May 31, 2023 00:00
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Grassy Knowles posted:Why now It's never too late It's never too late For now
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Jun 28, 2023 04:08
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Jerusalem posted:No you don't, Oprah I've said for ages this line is The Most Jokes ever crammed into the Fewest Words in comedy history. On top of all that, it's 100% in line with Jenna as we know her. Jane Krakowksi is a legend.
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Jul 8, 2023 16:40
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I'm Steve Austin and if you're senile, yes, I am the six million dollar man.
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Jul 12, 2023 00:08
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Pre — before Natal — ruined
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Jul 14, 2023 23:59
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FINALLY OLD ENOUGH TO RENT A CAR
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Jul 31, 2023 20:07
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If the Rural Juror song doesn't make you cry every time, gently caress you buddy
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Sep 8, 2023 21:25
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i know they're condoms.
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Sep 18, 2023 11:49
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Jenna with the yips (and the moment of her cure) is some of the best poo poo Jane ever does on 30 Rock.
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Sep 30, 2023 06:24
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DrBouvenstein posted:You are one age, Stop pressuring me! What are you, an intercourse monster??
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Mar 1, 2024 00:57
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