|
Smugworth posted:Show all the times I've been emptyquoted
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 23:03
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 10, 2024 18:10 |
|
|
oh, this little thing? it's nothing, my other nagamaki was forged by Sumitani
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 23:16
|
|
|
I show her my world of warcraft achievements.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 23:17
|
|
|
BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:*pulls Nintendo Switch OLED from Patagonia satchel* date like 
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 23:18
|
|
|
I spend 45 minutes talking about my amiibo collection and go half on the bill because imm a femenost
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 01:56
|
|
|
Take a shower and wear deodorant before you give them your username and password
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 02:27
|
|
|
I buy goldbelly cookies with forums money
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 02:37
|
|
|
converted one of my apartment's radiators into a serious vape rig
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 02:44
|
|
|
it's easy
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 02:50
|
|
|
showing up to the date with a big add summer sausage stuffed in my pants like no big deal
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 02:50
|
|
|
bragging about how I got out of a speeding ticket by making GBS threads my pants in court
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 02:52
|
|
|
Colonel Cancer posted:Hey babe, would you like to see the world's smallest penis? Follow up: would you like to also see the world's stinkiest penis?
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 03:14
|
|
|
I casually slide over a business card across the table and I raise one eyebrow with a coy smile. She grabs it and holds it up, "Reg date 2008" is all that there is printed on it. She creams herself and farts at the same time.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 03:21
|
|
|
Have them lie in a bed of wet cement, then wait a few hours till dry.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 03:23
|
|
|
Pop out the switch, yeti on tip, 16 cores and they about ready to rip. xbox in the dustbin, no fail everything's a win. 800 dollar chair. Folks have to stop and stare. Aint kidding when it comes to mine. Oh and bae????? you lookin fine *kicks feet up*
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 03:25
|
|
|
Hey, I have a McMansion and an opiate addiction.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 03:47
|
|
|
Break out the story of the time I met Dave Foley
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 03:53
|
|
|
To impress a chick? Helicopter dick
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 03:55
|
|
|
Guys everyone knows your pants sausage isn't your pathetic penis. We can smell it. Just like slice it up (the sausage) and arrange with cheese and crackers. It's a better tactic. People like being fed (not penis).
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 03:59
|
|
|
*puts tips of fingers on the sauce dish, spreads the bloomin' onion apart with both hands* "that remind you of anything? no ring, huh?!"
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 04:02
|
|
|
I whip out my 17” full-size gaming laptop with NVIDIA RTX 4090 graphics and load up the latest, hottest N. Senada thread on SOMETHING AWFUL DOT COM! All my dates get rated 5, liked, AND subscribed!
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 04:05
|
|
|
oh, poo poo, i forgot to apply my musk - excuse me here... *rummages in pants*
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 04:06
|
|
|
"Yeah, I don't really consider it *playing* games as much as *studying* them, because at some point, later, I plan on getting into game development. I already created the wiki, let me show you."
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 04:15
|
|
|
If she doesn't put out on the first date, you may have forgotten to tip your fedora
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 04:16
|
|
|
Is this like putting lipstick on your bunghole to kiss the mirror?
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 04:18
|
|
|
surprise, i brought my mom!
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 04:23
|
|
|
I look for something unattractive about her and compliment it profusely
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 04:31
|
|
|
If your mom keeps hitting you when you do something wrong or dumb, that's likely a good mom. And you were dumb. Be less dumb. If you receive "AIYA", you probably earned it.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 04:34
|
|
|
I will show her my massive collection of Funko Pop ™ collector figures and emphasize how valuable several of them are.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 04:35
|
|
|
Have you heard of a show called Rick and Morty?
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 04:44
|
|
|
I submit my beer checkin to Untappd. My profile picture pops up on the brewery’s digital tap list. I am holding a beer in the picture looking very chill. “Yeah, that’s my picture up on the big board. You can be up there too if you check in with me. Oh you don’t use Untappd? Here, give me your phone…”
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 04:51
|
|
|
master the art of ahegao
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 05:10
|
|
|
drat girl your eyes are in different zip codes is NOT a good way to start a date
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 05:15
|
|
|
setting off the War of 1812 by impressing that American wench
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 05:21
|
|
|
Treecko posted:drat girl your eyes are in different zip codes is NOT a good way to start a date 
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 05:25
|
|
|
i lean in really close to my date after putting the phone down that i've been scrolling on all night. "do you have stairs in your hourse?"
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 05:32
|
|
|
Thoughtfully suggest some low calorie dishes for your date.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 05:36
|
|
|
She'll have the salad I'm having the 42oz T-bone
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 05:38
|
|
|
Same answer as before, tell them they can treat themselves to any three items on the dollar menu. And gently tap your dick on the apple pie.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 05:41
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 10, 2024 18:10 |
|
|
Make them read the context surrounding "small pastry" to make them understand why it's so funny.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2023 05:55
|
|
