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a lengthy monologue about how ai-generated art replaced gbs effort-threads before anyone knew it, and it was the patriots plan all along, which was big boss's plan all along, but it was secretly foxdie's plan (but not all along, they were winging it at several points)
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Feb 10, 2023 05:22
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Booty Pageant posted:come on we all know kojima sensei now bases his characters off tv shows and movies, war hero codename tropes are old hat. it'll be like detectiveman columbo or missionimpossibleman whose name is actually tom cruise You are President Ephraim Rosencrantz, the democratically elected leader of Israel, who is using his nation's extensive spy network and international influence to undermine the marriage and career of a famous hip-hop producer. Also you have a hammer-and-sickle tattoo on your right hand and a swastika tattoo on your left hand, but that never really pays off in any way and no one ever even mentions them or explains why you have them. 
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Feb 10, 2023 05:24
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If there's a Solid Snake, and a Liquid Snake, is there a  Snake? I wish to be a Trouser Snake tia
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Feb 10, 2023 05:24
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I thought I had FoxDie but it was just a really bad genital rash
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Feb 10, 2023 05:25
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Sophy Wackles posted:I’m the boss that says “heh” a lot. heh. That is a foolish idea, and you are a fool to think that I--Hideo Kojima--would ever stoop to such lazy cliches. You are Spark Firestone, a former stuntman turned demolitions expert who looks and sounds like a roughneck anti-hero from a Hal Needham movie. 15% of the game's budget was spent getting George Clooney to voice your character, whose dialogue is comprised of 31 distinct versions of the word 'yeehaw'. 
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Feb 10, 2023 05:30
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Hollismason posted:I would like to be in the game. Please something to do with clowns. The only clowns in my game will be you clowns, who apparently think that you can tamper with my creative vision! You are Doctor Jimjam Monaco, an eccentric scientist living in self-imposed isolation so that you can work undisturbed on your experiments in reversing the effects of climate change by reanimating the corpses of dead soldiers and controlling them with a neural network to form an army of unfailingly obedient killing machines that know neither fatigue nor fear. 
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Feb 10, 2023 05:32
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Punish me
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Feb 10, 2023 05:35
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Treecko posted:I call Norman Reedus You squinty-eyed bastard! You still owe me 10000 Yen for the tab I picked up at that karaoke bar while we were making Death Stranding. I would like to remind you that I still own your likeness and if you don't pay me back right now, I will put you in my new game in a very unflattering light--even going so far as to mention Boondock Saints! 
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Feb 10, 2023 05:36
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Barcley posted:Make my gear the metal You are Treecko, a demon girl who is the boss of the office level , and you are openly disengaged and bored--both in cutscenes and in combat. You are immune to physical damage and can only be defeated by passing a quicktime event that allows the player to use the console's microphone to create a nasty echo effect during the videoconference-themed cutscene that precedes the boss battle. 
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Feb 10, 2023 05:37
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i love big animes tibbiez
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Feb 10, 2023 05:41
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drat I got Norman an a shout out how did you know it was my birthday Kojima-san?
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Feb 10, 2023 05:42
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Stink Billyums posted:Hideo, considering you love Columbo so much I think he should be in your game. If you think that this comment will cajole me into wasting a groundbreaking homage to the greatest television character of all time on a fool like, then you must be a fool, which I have already established that you are! You are an anonymous soldier with limited peripheral vision and a neurological impairment that prevents you from remembering things that you saw only seconds ago. Also you patrol the area near a checkpoint so you get killed a whole lot. 
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Feb 10, 2023 05:45
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Milo and POTUS posted:Do me do me You are Everett Everest, a mysterious computer hacker who eschews traditional qwerty keyboards in favor of an array of synthesizers reminiscent of something that a prog-rock musician would use. Your preternatural connection with technology comes at a high cost, though, as you can only communicate with other humans via notes passed to your pet iguana Augustine, who has a robotic tail. Augustine's robotic tail is explained in great detail through a mandatory flashback mission set in Burma during 1985 that occupies approximately 7 hours of gameplay. 
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Feb 10, 2023 05:48
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can i be a sexy lady detective pls
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Feb 10, 2023 05:51
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Junk posted:i wanna be a boss with a wacky gimmick You are Lord Doug Terpies, a polarizing comedy personality whose ability to brute-forcing punchlines into prominence and unwillingness to bow to social mores have made him the front-runner in the 2024 presidential election. If the player completes Huntington Santangelo's side-quest to find 100 collectible pocky tins, an alternate ending is unlocked wherein your consciousness is uploaded into an electric smoker as a kafka-esque punishment devised by your political enemies. 
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Feb 10, 2023 05:53
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Hideo... Ko... jima... You are Sergeant Kevin Rainmaker, General Specific's chief of staff, who has a personal grudge against the protagonist that is never fully explained. You are petty and vindictive and speak 100% of your dialogue through clenched teeth, but you have a deathbed redemption in the Antarctic research station level when you give the protagonist your prized family heirloom: the gatling-laser that your great-great-grandfather used to kill Stonewall Jackson. 
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Feb 10, 2023 05:56
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Prof. Crocodile posted:You are Lord Doug Terpies, a polarizing comedy personality whose ability to brute-forcing punchlines into prominence and unwillingness to bow to social mores have made him the front-runner in the 2024 presidential election. If the player completes Huntington Santangelo's side-quest to find 100 collectible pocky tins, an alternate ending is unlocked wherein your consciousness is uploaded into an electric smoker as a kafka-esque punishment devised by your political enemies. my catchphrase shall be "Whose Dougin'?"
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Feb 10, 2023 05:56
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sure why not
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Feb 10, 2023 06:01
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Animal-Mother posted:a lengthy monologue about how ai-generated art replaced gbs effort-threads before anyone knew it, and it was the patriots plan all along, which was big boss's plan all along, but it was secretly foxdie's plan (but not all along, they were winging it at several points) This is the most elegant and poignant idea that I have ever heard--the story almost writes itself! I would like to offer you an internship at my studio in glorious Nippon. PM me for details. You are Allister Friezse-Frame, a child soldier with an overactive bladder who is the boss of the rainforest zipline level. Your bazooka attacks kill the player instantly, but you have to stop frequently to relive yourself. You are recruitable as a companion if the player completes Huntington Santangelo's 'Kony Did Nothing Wrong' side-quest. 
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Feb 10, 2023 06:03
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Can I be a guy in it?
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Feb 10, 2023 06:04
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Vampire Panties posted:If there's a Solid Snake, and a Liquid Snake, is there a You are the Loch Ness Monster. In a third-act plot twist it is revealed that you are actually a spacefaring vehicle piloted by aliens from an aquatic world who have come to earth in search of the secrets of leprechaun alchemy. A very expensive DLC will allow the player to pilot you during the hollow earth level instead of the traditional battlemech. 
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Feb 10, 2023 06:07
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Pinche Rudo posted:I thought I had FoxDie but it was just a really bad genital rash You are Suleiman the Good Boy, the protagonist's pet akita. You are a vicious fighter, more than a match for an average solider, having fought alongside the protagonist in one extra-judicial battle after another over the years. You wear aviator goggles, and during cutscenes you can be seen using your paw to slide the goggles over your eyes when riding in motorcycle sidecars or battlemechs. 
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Feb 10, 2023 06:08
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Linux Pirate posted:Punish me You are Revolver Ocelot, and once again you are at the center of a high-stakes oh gently caress am I really going to do this again maybe I should just retire. 
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Feb 10, 2023 06:12
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Prof. Crocodile posted:You are Revolver Ocelot, and once again you are at the center of a high-stakes oh gently caress am I really going to do this again maybe I should just retire. Fuk yeah 
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Feb 10, 2023 06:13
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Chinatown posted:i love big animes tibbiez Then it is unfortunate for you I--Hideo Kojima--would never stoop to objectifying women in my video games. You are Lucretia Chavez-Wang, the current President of the United States. Your consummate professionalism, diplomatic skill, and empathetic approach to domestic strife have brought you the love of the American people--but have also made enemies of the private military corporations who have risen to prominence in the 21st century. You set off the events of the game by giving the protagonist a secret mission that you cannot trust to the standing army. 
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Feb 10, 2023 06:18
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Toxic Mental posted:I thought you said you would make me a video game character and not just copy my real person I calls them as I sees them.
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Feb 10, 2023 06:21
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Treecko posted:drat I got Norman an a shout out how did you know it was my birthday Kojima-san? By posting ITT you have signed over rights to your likeness and personal data in to me, my production company, our business partners, and our value-added resellers in perpetuity. This is all standard game development stuff. I just assumed that you knew?
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Feb 10, 2023 06:24
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big fan of death stranding and how the name means some things but also other things and then you play 40 hours to hear them say the thing. I'm ready
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Feb 10, 2023 06:24
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Buce posted:can i be a sexy lady detective pls No. You are Gideon Clean, a televangelist with a spray-tan who is well-known for his army of loyal adherents and his penchant for punctuating sermons with dramatic swipes of his electrified katana. But are you an enemy or an ally..? I haven't decided yet, but rest assured that this denouement will be as insightful a comment on religion as my previous meditations on war and loyalty. 
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Feb 10, 2023 06:34
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sure okay posted:sure why not You are Becky Chiba, a bubblegum chewing cheerleader who is always on her phone. You are also the most formidable martial artist in the world because you were abducted by MI6 and forcibly implanted with an experimental neural uplink that houses the consciousness of the legendary 100-year old Yakuza assassin who was mortally wounded in a kumite deathmatch in which he killed Interim Chief. It's pretty obvious during the cutscenes that you don't wear underwear for reasons that are integral to the plot. 
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Feb 10, 2023 06:37
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Hairy Right Hook posted:Can I be a guy in it? You are Noose Ringold, a member of the protagonist's commando squad. You are a capable sniper, due to the cybernetic visor that you stole from LeVar Burton during the game's opening cutscenes. In a moderately priced DLC the player can guide you through a thrilling rooftop sniper battle against a vengeance-crazed LeVar Burton using a VR headset. 
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Feb 10, 2023 06:43
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I don't have any experience with globe-spanning plots or military intrigue, but I am intimately familiar with lighting up, taking a toke, and suddenly finding that several hours have elapsed I also enjoy hiding in cardboard boxes if that's useful
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Feb 10, 2023 06:44
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Caedus posted:big fan of death stranding and how the name means some things but also other things and then you play 40 hours to hear them say the thing. I'm ready You are Geoffrey O'Fyospos, a reclusive tech billionaire whose social media empire is a front for a cabal of disenfranchised outcasts who venerate a martyred religious leader referred to only as 'The Goat Man'. But behind this shadowy cabal is an even more sinister agenda—a plan to enlarge the balls of every pig on earth in an attempt to finally make anime real. 
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Feb 10, 2023 06:50
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I want to be a character. Please do me!
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Feb 10, 2023 06:52
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SatansOnion posted:I don't have any experience with globe-spanning plots or military intrigue, but I am intimately familiar with lighting up, taking a toke, and suddenly finding that several hours have elapsed Useful perhaps, but completely unnecessary... You are Quarrelsome Chameleon, a beautiful female assassin with biological enhancements that allow your skin to change colors to match your surroundings, which is why you are always naked except for your bikini which can also change colors. But you can't just make a whole outfit that changes colors because the material is super hard to manufacture and there was only enough to make a bikini. 
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Feb 10, 2023 06:52
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buglord posted:I want to be a character. Please do me! You are Earthwind Fire, the bloodthirsty leader of a private military corporation who seized control of Alabama in an attempt to learn leprechaun alchemy, which he hopes to trade to a race of aliens living in Scotland in exchange for the secrets of the bio-organic technology used to make living spacecraft. You are the first boss of the game, and teach the protagonist how to use the game's innovative 'sack-tap' mechanic during a cutscene leading up to your boss battle--an act of hubris for which you will pay dearly. 
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Feb 10, 2023 07:02
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Draw me like one of the sprites in nintendos
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Feb 10, 2023 07:08
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Oooh ohhhh do me do me
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Feb 10, 2023 07:13
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These are very cool and I would also like to be in this game where everyone has robot arms that are never mentioned in the story for any reason.
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Feb 10, 2023 07:17
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I am actually a robot arm attached to a bionic sleeve
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Feb 10, 2023 07:24
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