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Hi Mr Kojima, can you tell us why you killed former japanese PM Shinzo Abe with what appeared to be a weapon from the Borderlands games? Is this a hint that you'll be working with the Borderlands team on a new Borderlands game? Will it be about killing prime ministers? Will claptrap be in it? Will claptrap be a companion character like Quiet? Will claptrap be wearing a bikini because he's allergic to clothes like Quiet was?
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Feb 10, 2023 07:33
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Prof. Crocodile posted:You are Allister Friezse-Frame, a child soldier with an overactive bladder who is the boss of the rainforest zipline level. Your bazooka attacks kill the player instantly, but you have to stop frequently to relive yourself. You are recruitable as a companion if the player completes Huntington Santangelo's 'Kony Did Nothing Wrong' side-quest. 
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Feb 10, 2023 07:38
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Yeah I want to get pissed on by a guy. thanks in advance. e: it doesn't matter who
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Feb 10, 2023 07:47
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Prof. Crocodile posted:You are Geoffrey O'Fyospos, a reclusive tech billionaire whose social media empire is a front for a cabal of disenfranchised outcasts who venerate a martyred religious leader referred to only as 'The Goat Man'. But behind this shadowy cabal is an even more sinister agenda—a plan to enlarge the balls of every pig on earth in an attempt to finally make anime real. you don't miss
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Feb 10, 2023 08:00
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Prof. Crocodile posted:You are Geoffrey O'Fyospos, a reclusive tech billionaire whose social media empire is a front for a cabal of disenfranchised outcasts who venerate a martyred religious leader referred to only as 'The Goat Man'. But behind this shadowy cabal is an even more sinister agenda—a plan to enlarge the balls of every pig on earth in an attempt to finally make anime real. kojima... is... GOD
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Feb 10, 2023 08:12
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pretty solid characters so far
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Feb 10, 2023 08:36
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The gameboy metal gear game was pretty drat good, and speaks a lot about the core gameplay of the series considering that it isn't a ton more complex than the original 8-bit metal gear.
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Feb 10, 2023 09:43
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How deep does this plot go
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Feb 10, 2023 09:54
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Prof. Crocodile posted:Useful perhaps, but completely unnecessary... hell yes, sexy and badass!? dang this new game is blazing trails. making herstory now  
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Feb 10, 2023 09:55
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Prof. Crocodile posted:You are Becky Chiba, a bubblegum chewing cheerleader who is always on her phone. You are also the most formidable martial artist in the world because you were abducted by MI6 and forcibly implanted with an experimental neural uplink that houses the consciousness of the legendary 100-year old Yakuza assassin who was mortally wounded in a kumite deathmatch in which he killed Interim Chief. It's pretty obvious during the cutscenes that you don't wear underwear for reasons that are integral to the plot. Not wearing underwear is my technique for luring Shadow Goon towards me and away from Amelie, thus preventing the Last Stranding
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Feb 10, 2023 10:31
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Feb 10, 2023 10:35
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Sam, I’m Lurk//Thread Man
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Feb 10, 2023 14:22
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There would be nothing greater than to be in your next game, Mr. uhhh.... Kojima? Hideo? Wait, it's reversed in Japan, right? Or is your name already westernized in orientation? Oh god
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Feb 10, 2023 14:40
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Colonel Cancer posted:Draw me like one of the sprites in nintendos You are Steve Wilson, the warrior-king of the race of goblins living in the hollow center of the earth who have been waging a decades-long secret war against the nation of Israel, which is trying to invade your kingdom through its entrance in Antarctica. Your race is few in number and physically frail, but their advanced battlemech technology make them an intractable military opponent. Your nonsensical, nigh-unpronounceable name is the subject of many jokes throughout the game. 
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Feb 10, 2023 16:08
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sure okay posted:Not wearing underwear is my technique for luring Shadow Goon towards me and away from Amelie, thus preventing the Last Stranding It is quite a relief to FINALLY hear from someone who understands the basics of storytelling.
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Feb 10, 2023 16:12
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Hot Coldman
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Feb 10, 2023 16:13
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I liked MGSV 
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Feb 10, 2023 16:16
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Jestery posted:Oooh ohhhh do me do me You are Sexecutioner Smoth, a member of the protagonist's commando squad. You have incredible physical strength and an unwavering commitment to the ideals of an open society, which makes it all the more tragic when you sacrifice your life to save the protagonist from Becky Chiba in a cutscene following the quicktime event that concludes the Italian restaurant level. If the player completes Huntington Santangelo's 'Late-Stage Capitalism' side-quest, an alternate skin is made available for purchase in the online store, showing you without your signature armor. 
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Feb 10, 2023 16:22
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drat this thread owns, please do me
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Feb 10, 2023 16:27
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Vidmaster posted:These are very cool and I would also like to be in this game where everyone has robot arms that are never mentioned in the story for any reason. You are Cutie Pie Mk IX, an advanced robot from the future who was designed to be a companion for the protagonist's daughter. Your are the game's de facto narrator, underlining key plot points in cutscenes between acts, for the benefit of slow-witted gamers who can't follow a simple and timeless story of redemption set against the backdrop of international carnage. Your dialogue is read in an obscure Japanese dialect, and there are no translations or subtitles available because gently caress all of you. 
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Feb 10, 2023 16:28
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QuarkJets posted:Hi Mr Kojima, can you tell us why you killed former japanese PM Shinzo Abe with what appeared to be a weapon from the Borderlands games? Is this a hint that you'll be working with the Borderlands team on a new Borderlands game? Will it be about killing prime ministers? Will claptrap be in it? Will claptrap be a companion character like Quiet? Will claptrap be wearing a bikini because he's allergic to clothes like Quiet was? Oh you like Borderlands? Isn't that game a little... remedial? Maybe you aren't ready for the technical challenge and emotional impact of my new project, which is unlike anything that came before and will revolutionize gaming and usher in a bold new age of interactive storytelling. You are an anonymous soldier with limited peripheral vision and a neurological impairment that prevents you from remembering things that you saw only seconds ago. Also your dull-witted and child-like mind is so easily amused that the player doesn't even need to subdue you because you get distracted at the drop of a hat and are basically useless. 
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Feb 10, 2023 16:32
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can I be metal gear
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Feb 10, 2023 16:36
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Beartaco posted:Yeah I want to get pissed on by a guy. You are in luck. You are Glorpfiz Glorpfaz, the leader of an expeditionary force of aquatic aliens living in Loch Ness while they search for the secrets of leprechaun alchemy, which they need to save their homeworld. Your race must have their heads constantly be submerged in urea to survive, for obvious reasons. You have an uneasy alliance of convenience with Earthwind Fire, and share a psychic bond with Augustine the Iguana--which is pivotal to unlocking the ancient alien lock that seals the exit of the Mayan labyrinth in the rainforest zipline level. 
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Feb 10, 2023 16:37
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My real life actual name is Stab Bladeworthy
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Feb 10, 2023 16:41
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Will the soundtrack be girthy and on tapes?
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Feb 10, 2023 16:43
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Crazy Achmed posted:The gameboy metal gear game was pretty drat good, and speaks a lot about the core gameplay of the series considering that it isn't a ton more complex than the original 8-bit metal gear. You are Agent Zack Lauer, a retired special forces operative working for the US Department of Homeland Security, willing to go to any means necessary to save America from its enemies--foreign and domestic. You are a member of Gideon Clean's congregation, but after a traumatic head injury suffered in a confrontation with Quarrelsome Chameleon, you begin to see what appears to be hidden Goat Man iconography throughout Gideon's chapel. It is your confrontation with Spark Firestone leads to his accidental demolition of the Grand Ole Opry, resulting in the panicked stampede that serves as the centerpiece of the Amy Grant concert level. 
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Feb 10, 2023 16:48
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SniperWoreConverse posted:How deep does this plot go You are Susan MacDonald, an envoy of the US State Department supporting an Eastern European nation under pressure from a nearby totalitarian state. You are young and optimistic—perhaps to the point of naivety—but you are a capable negotiator and a tireless advocate for democratic ideals. Your distrust of Jamal Yamato leads you to provide the protagonist with classified documents on recent leprechaun-led archeological activity in the Central American jungles, kicking off the Italian restaurant level. [note to self: fire concept artist] 
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Feb 10, 2023 16:53
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You are Glenn "Gary" Glen-Rubenstein, the leader of an Israeli commando unit waging war with a race of subterranean goblins in Antarctica. You are blind, but your enhanced sense of taste allows you to detect opponents at a great distance--and to aim your gun at their most fragrant body parts with unerring accuracy. You are the boss of the Antarctic research station level, and the snowy cover-based battle is so tense and engaging that a warning must be placed in the game's load screen to warn gamers who are pregnant or have a preexisting heart condition. Before you are defeated, an emotionally devastating cutscene unfolds, after which you are forced to join forces with both the protagonist and with Natalya Mink to fight a goblin battlemech possessed by the enslaved spirit of Interim Chief. 
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Feb 10, 2023 17:05
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speedbeaver posted:Sam, I’m Lurk//Thread Man No you are not. You are Doctor Wolfsbane Mugabe, a pioneering neuroscientist whose cutting-edge neural uplink technology has made her the subject of much interest from MI6 and the CIA. In the main storyline you appear only in the office level, but if the player manages to escort you safely through Princess Algonquin Parkway's traps without your having lost any limbs, you will appear in the hub level for the third act with additional lines of dialogue. If the player also completes Huntington Santangelo's 'Late-Stage Capitalism' side-quest you will act as a merchant selling biomechanical upgrades as microtransactions. 
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Feb 10, 2023 17:19
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credburn posted:There would be nothing greater than to be in your next game, Mr. uhhh.... This is incredibly ignorant and deeply offensive. You are no better than that dishonest cheapskate Norman Reedus! You are an anonymous soldier with limited peripheral vision and a neurological impairment that prevents you from remembering things that you saw only seconds ago. Your problematic racist mutterings can be heard from a great distance away, making you particularly easy to avoid.
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Feb 10, 2023 17:25
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Kept you waiting, huh? 
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Feb 10, 2023 17:26
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Lucky Guy posted:Hot Coldman This is the stupidest name I have ever heard in my life. Where did you even hear that nonsense? You are Duchess Trashington Panda-Tomkinson, a British aristocrat who turned her back on the buttoned-down life of high-society to pursue adventure as a member of the protagonist's commando squad. You can speak the leprechaun language, due to your having been lost on your family's sprawling north-country estate for three months in your youth. If the player selects all of your dialogue options, you will teach them some leprechaun swear words--which greatly simplifies the quicktime event required to sabotage Lord Doug Terpies' soft-soap interview on Gideon Clean's religious talk show. 
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Feb 10, 2023 17:37
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I just assume I get eaten by the MC after starving in a forest.
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Feb 10, 2023 17:40
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fartknocker posted:I liked MGSV Of course you did. That's like saying 'I think Hamlet was a good play' or 'I like looking at the Mona Lisa'. You are Professor Righteous Hyena, a Nobel-prize winning botanist in charge of the Antarctic research station. You are an old ally of the protagonist, and it is your request for aid that leads the game toward the Antarctic research station level. Your deep-seated hatred of cowboys leads you to reject Spark Firestone's offer to supply the research station with weapons, which in turn allows Steve Wilson to capture Interim Chief's phylactery. If the player completes Huntington Santangelo's 'Little Svalbard' side-quest, your hydroponic garden of prehensile vines will capture Natalya Mink during the break-in scene, allowing the player the opportunity to recruit her as a companion by passing a speechcraft check. 
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Feb 10, 2023 17:55
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I give my life, not for honor but for piss
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Feb 10, 2023 17:58
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sticksy posted:drat this thread owns, please do me You are Tyler Saengsawsang, a former mercenary who devoted his life to fighting drug traffickers after the death of his daughter. You are the playable protagonist of the flashback mission that describes how Augustine the Iguana got her robotic tail. You die at the end of the mission no matter which dialogue option the player chooses when confronting Interim Chief--but if you choose the option to ask if Joan Jett is hotter than Lita Ford your robotic leg can be found in the disused storage room at the beginning of the office level and given to Death Squid, unlocking additional reinforcements in the rainforest zipline level. 
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Feb 10, 2023 18:09
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I just started playing my first Kojima game and I know it's already been mentioned here but I'm glad they established "Deadman" first, because the second they introduced "Die-Hardman" I knew what kind of creative genius I was dealing with.
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Feb 10, 2023 18:13
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 Hope I end up as an Hind D, a dog or big titty killer chick.
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Feb 10, 2023 18:16
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dsf posted:can I be metal gear Do you seriously think that an artist of my caliber would stoop to re-using characters and gimmicks from prior games over and over, ad nauseum? If so you are an even bigger fool that other poster that I called a fool back on page 2 for reasons that in retrospect seem kind of petty. You are Goblin Gear, the world's most advanced battlemech, designed by goblin scientists to turn the tide against the long-standing stalemate with the forces of the surface world. You require a Class VII human soul to operate at maximum capacity, which led Steve Wilson to steal Interim Chief's phylactery from the Antarctic research station. If the player has avoided being shot in the butthole by Glen "Gary" Glen-Rubenstein and has also unlocked Natalya Mink as a playable character, Interim Chief's spirit can be freed, allowing it to take control of Goblin Gear. This unlocks a secret ending where Goblin Gear and Becky Chiba engage in a karate battle at Niagra Falls, but also means that Goblin Gear is not available to be piloted during the hollow earth level, forcing the player to use a far inferior battlemech (unless they have previously purchased the 'Loch Ness Monsters and Men' DLC). 
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Feb 10, 2023 18:23
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Prof. Crocodile posted:Of course you did. That's like saying 'I think Hamlet was a good play' or 'I like looking at the Mona Lisa'. Outstanding! 
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Feb 10, 2023 18:23
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