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Bulgaroctonus posted:Can you make one for my kiddo? Her favorite is the Gameboy Color MG as far as gameplay and story but doesnt think its horny enough I too found the limitations of the medium stifling to my creative vision, which is mainly depicting realistic female characters with utmost cultural sensitivity. You are Dolly Parton-Madison, a cybernetic supersoldier created when a leprechauns trying to open a Mayan labyrinth sealed with alien technology inadvertently created a timestorm during the inaugural concert of President Lucretia Chavez-Wang at the White House. You are the most powerful recruitable companion in the game due to your heavily armored tank body and gigantic knockers, but your mobility is limited during indoor scenes due to your heavily armored tank body and gigantic knockers. You are only available in new game +, and even then you are only available if the player never used the 'Discreet Foot Pic' mechanic against Becky Chiba during any of her ambush attacks in the first playthrough. 
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Feb 11, 2023 04:39
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Kojima-San can you also make one for my son? Hes very old but used to like eating sneks, lizards and would try and kill small birds but was shameful in his attempts. I was forced to finish many of his kills. Joni hi wa
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Feb 11, 2023 04:58
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I love your games, please include me.
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Feb 11, 2023 06:20
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I hope it's Snatcher 2
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Feb 11, 2023 06:23
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Prof. Crocodile posted:You are Sexecutioner Smoth, a member of the protagonist's commando squad. You have incredible physical strength and an unwavering commitment to the ideals of an open society, which makes it all the more tragic when you sacrifice your life to save the protagonist from Becky Chiba in a cutscene following the quicktime event that concludes the Italian restaurant level. If the player completes Huntington Santangelo's 'Late-Stage Capitalism' side-quest, an alternate skin is made available for purchase in the online store, showing you without your signature armor. How did you find these photos of me?
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Feb 11, 2023 06:40
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Prof. Crocodile posted:I too found the limitations of the medium stifling to my creative vision, which is mainly depicting realistic female characters with utmost cultural sensitivity. I opened to a random page and now I 100% believe you are in fact legendary games creator hideo kojima
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Feb 11, 2023 06:43
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Prof. Crocodile posted:You are even more of a sycophant than that last guy, but my Saucy! Faint (not racist) praise from the protagonist and a story-specific personal vendetta is all I could ever ask for. "Cancel culture"?  This poo poo is hilarious and we are truly living in your vision of the future.Oh snap, did I produce an Amy Grant album??? What kind of music does the protagonist like? What's my blood type and character's personal burger preference? I am on Amazon looking for a pre-order right now. El Diablo Bob O fucked around with this message at 16:05 on Feb 11, 2023 |
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Feb 11, 2023 07:08
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Bulgaroctonus posted:Kojima-San can you also make one for my son? Hes very old but used to like eating sneks, lizards and would try and kill small birds but was shameful in his attempts. I was forced to finish many of his kills. Joni hi wa Wow Mr. Gill your family life is complicated, and makes me think about how our experiences as children both reflect and reinforce the warlike nature of humanity. You are Jonah Whale, a reclusive hip-hop producer and the sworn enemy of Lowrider Driveby. The player can encounter you in the private dining room in the Italian restaurant level, as long as they use the 'Thinly Veiled Racist Tweet' mechanic BEFORE confronting Corvette Stingray about his abusive treatment of the valet. Afterwards, you can be found in the hub area for the second act, and serve as a merchant allowing the player to replace any given scene's musical score with a dubstep remix via a microtransaction. 
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Feb 11, 2023 15:16
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StarkRavingMad posted:I love your games, please include me. You are Virtuous Jaguar Sunset, a Mayan priest who attained immortality when he found alien technology in a wrecked starship in pre-Columbian Mexico. You are the Undersecretary of Veterans Affairs for Health, but dialogue between Jamal Yamato and Sergeant Kevin Rainmaker implies that you may have an agenda beyond that of a humble civil servant. You are an optional miniboss in the office level, but only if the player encounters you before triggering the cutscene where Jung Olympic-Hopeful is killed. Your Class M human soul can be looted from your dead body, but can only be used to upgrade alien weapons. 
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Feb 11, 2023 15:24
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Private Cumshoe posted:I hope it's Snatcher 2 It obviously is. The working title is Boktai Resurrection: Snatcher 2: Nocturne of Camaraderie. You are Spenser Colon Forhire the mysterious leader of a private military corporation that formerly employed both Doctor Jimjam Monaco and Professor Wolfsbane Mugabe, as evidenced by the fact that they both have your PMC's logo tattooed on their necks. You are seen verbally jousting with Earthwind Fire during the introductory cutscene for the siege of Birmingham level. If the player defeats Earthwind Fire without using the 'Sack Tap' mechanic, a secret ending is unlocked where you remove your mask in a mirror and reveal a face identical to that of the protagonist--except with different colored heterochromatic eyes. 
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Feb 11, 2023 15:41
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mr. Kojima, I humbly accept your offer to be part of yet another one of o your master pieces.
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Feb 11, 2023 15:48
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Please include me in some characteristic Kojimonkeycheese
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Feb 11, 2023 15:51
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kalel posted:I opened to a random page and now I 100% believe you are in fact legendary games creator hideo kojima You are Sandy "The Hourglass" Through, the protagonist's former lover and the bodyguard of General Specific. You assist the protagonist during the cartel shootout scene in the rainforest zipline level if the player chooses the correct dialogue options when debating the nature of loyalty with General Specific, but will not accompany them to the Mayan ruins if Duchess Trashington Panda-Tomkinson is in the squad--regardless of how many recruitable companion slots the player has open. It is implied in narration by Cutie Pie Mk IX that you, Sandy Bloody Sandy and Sandy Stone Shadow are alternate universe versions of Tyler Saengsawsang's daughter from timelines where she survived the attack by Theingi Lizardchopper. 
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Feb 11, 2023 15:52
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Prof. Crocodile posted:It was one of my finest moments. Natalya Mink is the only person who truly appreciates how much i value and cherish my amazon deliveries to the gulag in the eastern front
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Feb 11, 2023 17:10
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Ooo, can I take my private military company public?
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Feb 11, 2023 18:03
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gnarl posted:mr. Kojima, I humbly accept your offer to be part of yet another one of o your master pieces. You are Liquid Ambassador, who has secretly been leading the US embassy in the goblin capital for nearly 50 years. During the trench battle scene of the hollow earth level, the protagonist can convince Steve Wilson to release you from your techno-organic slime shackles if the player chooses the 'miserable little pile of secrets' dialogue option, unlocking you as a recruitable companion. If you are in the primary companion slot during Huntington Santangelo's 'Blood Red Tape' side-quest, you can convince Virtuous Jaguar Sunset to manually override the lock on Staff Sergeant Immortal J's personnel file, allowing him to die and unlocking a secret ending where Interim Chief and General Specific appear as ghosts at Arlington National cemetery and discuss the true meaning of duty. 
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Feb 11, 2023 19:02
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Snowy posted:Please include me in some characteristic Kojimonkeycheese You are Princess of Wails, the final boss of the main storyline. After staging your own death to escape public scrutiny and having your head and spine incorporated into a osmium exoskeleton powered by alien nanomachines you recovered from a Mayan temple during a diplomatic tour conducted in 1988, you used your family's considerable wealth to found several private military corporations for the purpose of plunging the world into a state of constant war in order to enable your ultimate goal--a genocide of non-human races such as leprechauns and goblins. The player must be careful which companions they bring into your boss battle, as your 'Binary Reverie' attack allows you to take control of any and all robotic limbs in the game, and your first attack will one-shot kill any companions who have been previously reanimated with the 'Breath of Life' perk. 
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Feb 11, 2023 19:18
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Train with me boss!
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Feb 11, 2023 19:43
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bloody ghost titty posted:Ooo, can I take my private military company public? You are Captain Elijah Marrowbone, the last of the great explorers, lost and presumed dead after a plane crash over Estonia, you in fact survived and rebuilt your body using parts salvaged from the wreck. You are looking for the fabled hidden entrance to the hollow earth, and can be encountered at several places during the eastern front level. If the player exhausts all of your dialogue options, you will assist the protagonist in the second stage of the boss battle with Cyclopsoid Mk III. If you survive the battle, you will move to the third act hub where you can be recruited as a companion once the player has collected all of the Vampire Hunter D variant figures during Huntington Santangelo's 'Actually The Plural Of Anime Is Just Anime' side-quest. 
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Feb 11, 2023 19:45
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Stick Figure Mafia posted:Train with me boss! You are Minerva Obmuloc, the protagonist's daughter from the future, who was created from the DNA of the protagonist and General Daffodil Steelheart in an attempt to create the perfect child solider. You do not properly appear in the main storyline, only being seen in the protagonist's Woop Woop induced premonitions and being mentioned in narration by Cutie Pie Mk IX. However, you are the playable protagonist of the exorbitantly-priced DLC 'Final Recoking: Reckoning of Finality'. Your techno-organic swordzooka begins as one of the weakest weapons in the game, but can be upgraded to great effect with each soul recovered from any fallen members of the protagonist's original commando squad when you revisit the levels of the main storyline, and as such players who forgo these valuable items in the main storyline will be rewarded for their patience. 
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Feb 11, 2023 20:01
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Today was a day. Anything you do, will make it better.
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Feb 11, 2023 20:14
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Stellar Curiosity posted:Today was a day. Anything you do, will make it better. You are Life Squid, an alternate universe version of Death Squid, pulled into being when Death Squid played 'Dust in the Wind' on Everett Everest's keyboards in a state of pensive contemplation about the nature of war, triggering the failsafe explosion in Disingenuous Brubaker's hyper-dimensional spacesuit--the event that caused the time collapse in the opening cinematic of the 'Final Reckoning: Reckoning of Finality' DLC. You are one of only three recruitable companions for Minerva Obmuloc, due to the fact that the time collapse kills all non-psychic humans. Your healing powers more than make up for your inability to use heavy weapons. 
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Feb 11, 2023 21:50
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You can include me but dont mention my robot legs.
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Feb 11, 2023 21:55
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Its just like one of my Japanese animes.
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Feb 11, 2023 22:08
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Prof. Crocodile posted:You are Amy Grant, a cybernetic assassin... you transform into your cyber-pterodactyl form. God i wish
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Feb 11, 2023 22:16
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Prof. Crocodile posted:You are Eliza Toolittle-Toolate a battle-hardened mercenary who has turned to a life of crime to fund her addiction to the leprechaun drug Woop Woop. You lead a squad of motorcycle bandits on daring raids throughout the United States. You are the miniboss of the motorcycle chase scene in the Italian restaurant level. If the player ever falls more than 5 seconds behind you during the chase, you will shoot Suleiman The Good Boy with your silver revolver, turning him into an anti-werewolf and making him un-recruitable for missions that happen during a full moon. long time tcc poster. nailed it.
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Feb 11, 2023 22:45
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I like my coffee how i like my eggs: unfertelised. my beer too.
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Feb 11, 2023 23:11
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Gatto Grigio posted:You can include me but dont mention my robot legs. You are DisingenuousChiefBeckyGear, a terrifyingly powerful super-being with quantum karate powers who is also equipped with an array of nuclear artillery, and you are the final boss of the 'Final Reckoning: Reckoning of Finality' DLC. You were formed in the time collapse when Disingenuous Brubaker's malfunctioning suit detonated hyperspace at the quantum coordinates of Niagra Falls at the moment where Becky Chiba and the Interim Chief-controlled Goblin Gear were waging their karate duel, fusing all four entities together at the quantum level. Your attacks are so powerful that any one of them will kill Minerva Obmuloc in a single hit, so the final boss battle is series of increasingly difficult quicktime events conducted in hyperspace, while a infinitely looping J-Pop dubstep remix of 'The Final Countdown' plays in the background. Once you are defeated, Minerva Obmuloc buries your remains at Arlington National Cemetery in the same grave as the mortally malfunctioning Cutie Pie Mk IX and sheds a tear as she muses that you and her were not so different because you were both born from war. 
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Feb 12, 2023 01:00
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Why the fuk you make Metal Gear Survive?
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Feb 12, 2023 01:05
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staberind posted:I like my coffee how i like my eggs: unfertelised. You are Falco Obmuloc, the protagonist of Boktai Resurrection: Snatcher 2: Nocturne Of Camaraderie. You are a former child soldier who left the US Army to form an elite commando squad dedicated to combating the evil private military corporations that sprang up in the early 21st century. Your extensive military background means that you are the only character who can use every weapon and perk in the game, although you prefer to resolve conflicts with logic and trickery. Unlike your recruitable companions, you only have one special attack--The Glass Eye Of The Hurricane--but it grows gradually more powerful with each lucidity beacon that you activate. You die at the end of the game in a cutscene, falling to your knees in the middle of the field of tulips where you and Princess of Wails fought during the fourth and final stage of her boss fight, as she dissolves into a pool of techno-organic slime. In the game's canonical final cutscene, General Daffodil Steelheart drops your glass eye into a shot of whiskey at Old Ebbitt Grill, joking that now you can finally enjoy that drink she owes you for saving her life during Operation Gumbo Drop, and muses that perhaps, in reality, war is the victim of humanity. 
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Feb 12, 2023 01:28
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loving Moron posted:Why the fuk you make Metal Gear Survive? How dare you question my artistic vision! You are an anonymous soldier with limited peripheral vision and a neurological impairment that prevents you from remembering things that you saw only seconds ago. You also lack the intelligence to comprehend the simple elegance of a tower defense game, and lash out an innocent geniuses to vent your frustrations, making you easy to avoid and to kill. 
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Feb 12, 2023 01:31
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OK I am going out for the night, and I am mentally exhausted for trying to think like Hideo Kojima for the better part of 48 hours, so this thread is effectively done. Thanks for playing along everyone!
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Feb 12, 2023 01:35
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Feb 12, 2023 04:30
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Feb 12, 2023 05:49
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A job well done. Thank you for your service.
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Feb 12, 2023 11:55
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Feb 12, 2023 12:43
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Prof. Crocodile posted:You are DisingenuousChiefBeckyGear. Can i please have a big massive hug just destroy me.
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Feb 12, 2023 13:08
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I would like to be in your game OP
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Feb 12, 2023 13:27
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Feb 12, 2023 14:44
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Is this going to have base building, research and customizable weaponry? Because I loved making a frankenstien of a gun. I wont condemn this to the heartless sea. These are all diamonds.
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Feb 12, 2023 16:44
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