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Welcome to the 2023 BYOB auction house thread! With special permission from the local modstabulary, we auctioned off THREE fantastic real items in this thread, with another three more now available (see below) . All proceeds from this auction will go to fund the 2023 Coupons & Deals Movie Nite Awards, so dig deep, because you will probably never get another chance to buy any of these strange items ever again!!! RulesWhoever has the highest bid on each item when the auction closes (Midnight GMT on Wed March 8, 2023), will be declared that auction's winner. You will have 1 week after that to pay, and please remember there are forums-wide rules about exchanging money, please don't bid unless you're serious. Please make bids in US dollars, if you are going to pay with another currency please prepare to make the conversion at the rate when the auction closes and not before. I will donate the shipping cost of any items shipped within the continental US, international shipping will require additional costs. They're all pretty light weight. There are a million ways to screw up an auction in bad faith but why would you? Let's have fun and raise money for more fun!! And if you just want to donate directly you can do that too, right here. Feel free to skip to the auctions, but first, a little background on these strange and wonderful things, and why YOU want to bid on them! - Last year, a light went out in this world. A flickering, sparking, probably-a-fire-hazard light used to illuminate taxidermied antelope wearing dusty old hats and ironic sunglasses. I'm talking, of course, about Bart's Flea Market in Laramie Wyoming.  Shortly after my family and I raided it one last time in August, Bart's was, permanently and definitively, "CLOSD".  Once a mystic, rustic (mustic?) treasure trove of oddities, Bart's was unceremoniously bulldozed early this year to make way for, that's right every neighborhood's greatest addition, a gypsum mine.  Perhaps you wonder what the big deal is, it was just a gross old rural flea market by a highway overpass. To you, probably very young person, I would merely say this: you missed out. Back in the days of physical media, rifling through stacks of gross dusty sticky albums, DVDs and CDs in places like Bart's wasn't just a hobby, it was a way of life. Pickers like me would show up early to Cheapo Discs or any number of other tiny filthy used media stores and spend the whole stupid Saturday sifting for treasures; and there were legit treasures in there. I discovered some of my favorite artists that way, weird jazz combos like 3 Leg Torso and Tin Hat Trio. I'll never forget finding a copy of Deep Dead Blue: Elvis Costello and Bill Frisell live at Meltdown '95, that the store owner was legitimately pissed he hadn't seen and then had to sell to me. Jackpot. I pieced my complete XTC discography together that way, and the less said about my infamous copy of Super Hornio Bros the better but, yeah, that's where I found it, out picking. You can still sort of experience this phenomenon with thrift-store vinyl or the occaisional used book store but, trust me, it's just not the same. There used to be gold in them thar garbage stacks. Of course I'm describing the world decades ago now, not just last year, but the funny thing about Wyoming is, it's kind of a time warp. You can still buy blank VHS cassettes around here, it's wild. Antiquated businesses like Bart's Flea Market were still somewhat viable in this rarified environment, in a sense they were the last long-hanging victims of eBay, itself a dusty old dinosaur anymore. So last year I got to do one of my favorite things, against all reasonable odds, one last time. I picked hundreds of dollars worth of weird DVDs, books, comics and more from Bart's overflowing (in multiple senses) shelves. I knew it would probably be my last big hunt, so I dug in with vigor, and filled several binders with discs, many of which I'm pretty sure have never been rereleased. It was glorious. Now that Bart's is gone, I don't know if many people will ever get that same used media picking experience ever again, and that makes me a little sad even though obviously new methods of pumping media into our sore little face-holes have risen up. It was a phenomenon that existed for a brief time, when I was a weird young man with disposable income, and as much as I'm trying hard to embrace change nowadays I still wish I could share this beloved hobby with y'all just once more. So here goes. The first two items in this auction are from that final Bart's run, the very last media pickings from one of the very last old-school jumbo flea markets. Perhaps your last chance ever to take part in this funny old tradition of finding questionable hard media that you didn't know existed, sold in a pile with chipped glassware and die cast toy trucks. Please, enjoy. BoldFrankensteinMir fucked around with this message at 05:23 on Mar 1, 2023
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Feb 12, 2023 20:18
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THESE AUCTIONS HAVE CLOSED, please look here for the currently biddable lots . Our first item up for bid: Bazooka Superman on DVD! After years of reading the labels on disc packaging one gets good at spotting strange titles out of the masses, and this guy jumped out at me so hard I laughed in public. How do you not pull a DVD titled:  On closer examination it's not the real title, it's just a word salad composed of all the dumb licensing piled on top of public domain Fleischer Bros cartoons (which are awesome btw). But still, there's something really special here.   This weird DVD of cheaply packaged public domain cartoons in old-rear end 2005 standard definition is in the original plastic but it is not sealed, it's so old it's starting to chip away and come loose in places. And that's kinda scary because supposedly there's sugar-free gum in there too? I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU EAT THAT GUM: let's be clear about this right now, this DVD box sat crumbling in the middle of an entire taxedermied menagerie that had rainwater poured over and through it constantly, for who knows how long. I would not eat anything sold at Bart's Flea Market on a sexy bet with supermodels, but hey, it's your money. The "interactive games" I expect are slightly less likely to require a stomach pump afterwards, but I have no way of knowing for sure. Only the purchaser of this strange and wonderful item will find out, and perhaps you might even enthrall us all with an unboxing video or a let's play to celebrate. Forums glory awaits you! Bazooka Superman has been SOLD, for 30 dollars US, to Heather Papps.- Our second item up for auction you may recognize: a used paperback copy of The Flintstones, The Bedrock Connection!   I reviewed this dark and unsettling adventure of our favorite modern stone-age family in a now-goldmined BYOB thread that continues to make me laugh. Now you can own the original ballpoint-pen-damaged copy I scanned for those lulz, and wonder with the same disappointed sadness I did at Barney Rubble, foul-mouthed criminal jackass, scowling up at you from every other page. But that's not all!! The Bedrock Connection has been SOLD, for 25 dollars US, to Manifisto!Saoshyant has agreed to donate an additional 25 dollars to reach the 50 dollars US theshhold!I will purchase and review another Horace J. Elias Flintstones book here in BYOB in March. If bidding reaches 100 dollars US I will add another book to that promise, and so forth every 50 dollars US to a maximum of TEN BOOKS, once a month for the rest of this year, for a 500 dollar US bid[/b]. If your idea of fun is to watch my brain melt down page-by-page through Fred Flintstone's Pizza Parlor Mystery or The Flintstones: Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm and the Witch who Ran out of Jizzle, now's your chance to shoot at my feet and make me dance. - Our third item is NOT from Bart's Flea market, so I guess you can eat it with slightly more confidence, though I still wouldn't recommend it. Me personally I'd frame the thing: it's Coupon Crab's original coupon!!!   This custom-designed coupon prop has been carried by our very-best-pal Coupon Crab through fifteen dance routines including his appearance at last year's awards with Maria Bamford! And it's even signed on the back by Coup himself, what a treat. All that dancing has left a little wear and tear on the edges and one crease, and it does have some tape on the back that is probably irremovable- just like real dance props!  Coupon Crab's original coupon has been SOLD, for 69 dollars US, to Professor Crocodile.
BoldFrankensteinMir fucked around with this message at 15:48 on Mar 2, 2023
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Feb 12, 2023 20:18
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I'll put $20 on The Bedrock Connection.
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Feb 12, 2023 22:23
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21 on the bedrock connection
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Feb 13, 2023 14:44
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IIIII gottwentyonebuckshere twentyonebucksforthisfineitem doIheartwentytwoladiesandgentlemenandfriendsforthisstupendouspieceofliterature twentytwodollarsdoIheartwentytwo???
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Feb 13, 2023 20:17
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bazooka joe is actually my therian spirit self i'm bidding on those superman cartoons, starting at thoity bux. i will chew the gum.
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Feb 14, 2023 01:36
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:IIIII gottwentyonebuckshere twentyonebucksforthisfineitem doIheartwentytwoladiesandgentlemenandfriendsforthisstupendouspieceofliterature twentytwodollarsdoIheartwentytwo??? 
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Feb 14, 2023 02:08
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Heather Papps posted:bazooka joe is actually my therian spirit self i'm bidding on those superman cartoons, starting at thoity bux. i will chew the gum. anxiously awaiting a trip report, both about neat old timey cartoons and eternal chewing gum |
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Feb 14, 2023 02:12
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i am coupon crab's biggest fan and he will leave his wife and marry me once i send him this dreamcatcher i made from my hair and tears and he realizes how much i love him and that we are meant to be together. i will bid $69 for his autographed card, as long as the card still smells like him. |
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Feb 14, 2023 02:52
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Prof. Crocodile posted:i am coupon crab's biggest fan and he will leave his wife and marry me once i send him this dreamcatcher i made from my hair and tears and he realizes how much i love him and that we are meant to be together.  Six----tyninedollars bidbytheprofessorialcrocodileintheravishingtuxedoladiesandgentlemenandfriends Edit- OP has been updated with bids on all items. Multiball! BoldFrankensteinMir fucked around with this message at 05:23 on Feb 14, 2023
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Feb 14, 2023 05:06
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25 for the Bedrock Connection.
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Feb 14, 2023 14:44
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Twentyfiveforthebedrockconnectioooooon. Do I hear twenty six? Remember folks, if bids for this item get high enough I will buy even more Flintstones books to review for you. 50 bucks is what Somethingawful used to (sometimes) pay front page writers per piece so you're getting 'em wholesale! Talk about extending your extinct traditions one last time, jeez...
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Feb 15, 2023 16:12
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I cannot bid more for the book because it's gonna accrue import tax out of the whazzo otherwise, so instead I'm gonna make a deal with you BYOB Auction House thread and its host BFM: whoever wins the Flintstones book, I'll cover the remaining value with a donation until it reaches $the 50 minimum. I need more reviews on bizarro aftermarket Flintstones stories!
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Feb 18, 2023 16:48
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Saoshyant posted:I cannot bid more for the book because it's gonna accrue import tax out of the whazzo otherwise, so instead I'm gonna make a deal with you BYOB Auction House thread and its host BFM: whoever wins the Flintstones book, I'll cover the remaining value with a donation until it reaches $the 50 minimum. I need more reviews on bizarro aftermarket Flintstones stories! What a kind and generous way to make me swear at children's books in public, thank you.
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Feb 19, 2023 00:00
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There's less than one hour left in the auction! Going once... edit- going twice... BoldFrankensteinMir fucked around with this message at 22:59 on Feb 19, 2023
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Feb 19, 2023 22:05
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 The winner of our first auction, for Bazooka Superman, is Heather Papps for 30 dollars US! The winner of our second auction, for The Bedrock Connection is Manifisto for 25 dollars US! And, Saoshyant has agreed to donate an additional 25 dollars, meaning I will now review another Horace J Elias Flintstones book in March. And the winner of our final auction, for Coupon Crab's original coupon is Professor Crocodile for 69 dollars US! Thank you all so much for participating, and for supporting the Coupons & Deals Movie Nite Awards! During the next week please PM or otherwise reach out to me about how to best coordinate your purchase and shipping. However, the auction is not quite over! There is one more mystery lot up for bid this year, another Bart's find that defies description. Watch this space for more information soon!
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Feb 19, 2023 23:05
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:And, Saoshyant has agreed to donate an additional 25 dollars, meaning I will now review another Horace J Elias Flintstones book in March. Doin' my part for more bizarro Flintstones' stories not to be lost to the sands of time 
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Feb 19, 2023 23:19
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Saoshyant posted:Doin' my part for more bizarro Flintstones' stories not to be lost to the sands of time thanks you for that, and  to winning!
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Feb 19, 2023 23:22
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Saoshyant posted:Doin' my part for more bizarro Flintstones' stories not to be lost to the sands of time Yes, thank you very much Saoshyant! Our next title will be The Flintstones: The Computer that Went Bananas (probably because it was a stone monolith with a hundred chimps inside at stone typewriters).
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Feb 20, 2023 15:33
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:Yes, thank you very much Saoshyant! Our next title will be The Flintstones: The Computer that Went Bananas (probably because it was a stone monolith with a hundred chimps inside at stone typewriters). spoilers dude wtf!? |
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Feb 20, 2023 18:09
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Prof. Crocodile posted:spoilers dude wtf!? Fine if I just accidentally guessed the thrilling conclusion to The Flintstones The Computer That Went Bananas I'll read another book for free are you happy? edit- oh nuts it really is gonna be that isn't it... BoldFrankensteinMir fucked around with this message at 20:52 on Feb 20, 2023
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Feb 20, 2023 20:45
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The second part of the auction has arrived! My apologies for the delay due to ridiculous snow storms, but we are now ready to auction off the final items in this year's BYOB Auction House! Remember all proceeds go to fund the upcoming Coupons & Deals Movie Nite Awards, which are being constructed right now!These items will be up for bid until Midnight GMT on Wednesday, March 8 2023 (That's 4pm PST 7pm EST on March the 7 here in the US). Our next item is a double lot from Bart's: not one, but TWO old timey standard definition DVDs of hilariously obscure crud! It's the incredible 80's Anime double feature Raiders of Galaxy and Defenders of Space   The cases have been opened and the discs are in decent shape with a few scratches, but they do play. It's kind of a moot point though as both films are up on youtube. But really that's where the fun begins! This item has been SOLD, for 40 Dollars US, to Leraika! This crosses the threshold to qualify for a special command performance Coupons & Deals Movie Nite at the time of the winners' choosing, where we will riff these ridiculous movies to pieces. Enjoy your own personal movie nite with the adventures of T Devil and Andrew, Dr Han and Fred, and put it at some weird time to make me get up early or something! Cooool!*note- right now these movies are available for us to use in CyTube for a movie nite, but in theory that could change without notice. If this were to occur after the auction had exceeded the threshhold for a custom Movie Nite, the auction winner would get to choose any 2 available films instead* - And now, something very special. This next DVD from Bart's is, I can now confirm, a cursed object of horror from beyond the veil of time and space. I tried watching this disc with my dad, a legit Howdy Doody fan, and we ended up crawling away in terror after barely a half hour. Abandon all hope ye who enter here, it's the Howdy Doody Music Appreciation Special!   Again the case has been opened and the disc is lightly damaged, but sadly not enough to trap the AV demons inside forever- it still plays (although it is Region 1, it should be noted). This is, as far as I can tell, part of the '76 revival series of Howdy Doody that is... excessive. Buffalo Bob Smith is about 60 now, I think the whole thing is shot in Miami, and there's so much dense reference to classic Howdy bits that it's almost impenetrable. But somehow a vague and menacing sense of 1970's overreach still permeates everything, from the oversized Peanut Gallery to the garish stage and costumes (including the character Happy Harmony, in a USA colors quilt skirt so tiny it'd be scandalous on casino wait staff let alone a children's show host, interestingly the actor who plays her goes on later to earn her PHD and become a well respected educator.) Bob Keeshan isn't even playing Clarabell the Clown anymore, jeez. Once again these specials are on Youtube but in this instance the disc contains something extra. The youtube rips actually have the old Vidfilm production titles in tact, including some legitimately neat vintage vector effects, but the disc does not. The disc has, in classic bad DVD authoring style, absolutely hideous slapped-together rainbow gradient graphics plastered all over the vintage titles, giving it just an extra little bit of disconcerting ugliness. Be warned, this is a black hole from which taste and tact can not escape, you WILL be left feeling like you woke up in a cigarette-smoke-filled airport lobby where a child has been throwing his toys at your face. Ah the 70's! This item has been SOLD, for 40 dollars US, to Professor Crocodile. Similar to the previous auction the threshhold has been crossed for a special command performance Coupons & Deals Movie Nite at the time of the winners' choosing, where I and anybody unfortunate enough to be trapped inside with me will be tortured heinously for 5 whole episodes of garish puppet nightmares in a row, that will utterly destroy my mind forever and leave me a husk. Fun!*note- again, right now these specials are available for us to use in CyTube for a movie nite, but in theory that could change without notice. If this were to occur after the auction had exceeded the threshhold for a custom Movie Nite, the auction winner would get to choose any 5 available TV episode length videos instead* - It's the final auction!!! What incredible AV masterpiece is waiting to be comically overpriced in the pursuit of hilarity next... huh?   It WAS a Mystery VHS Cassette, but the mystery was solved (It's The Peacemaker!) by Saoshyant earning a fifty dollar US donation in their name to the movie nite awards! HINT #1 WAS: This is a copy of the very first rated R movie I saw in the theater as a lad! Good luck to all our bidders and thank you for participating. Let the final phase of this year's auction begin! BoldFrankensteinMir fucked around with this message at 01:33 on Mar 8, 2023
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Feb 28, 2023 15:54
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I'll bid 30 on the weird anime dvds, sure |
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Feb 28, 2023 16:35
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Leraika posted:I'll bid 30 on the weird anime dvds, sure Iiiii gotthirtydollarshere, thirtydollarsforthesefineitems, doIhearthirtyoneanybodydoIhearthirtyonnnnnne!?!  Edit- I updated the auction but will mention it again here- the Howdy Doody DVD is marked Region 1. I do not see any region restrictions on the anime DVDs but I'm gonna go triple check that in the lab real quick. BoldFrankensteinMir fucked around with this message at 16:56 on Feb 28, 2023
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Feb 28, 2023 16:43
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:Why, it's a Mystery VHS Cassette! This last auction is a bit different, because you guys don't have to spend a cent, instead I might spend money! If anybody can guess the title of this excellent-shape (fullscreen, waaah) box-included VHS cassette, not only will you win the tape for free (minus shipping if outside the continental US), but I will also donate 50 additional dollars to the budget in your name. Watch this space for more clues as to the mystery tape's ID, but your first hint is already here: Total Recall!
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Feb 28, 2023 17:01
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Saoshyant posted:Total Recall! No! Hint #2- I saw this film with my Papa (grandfather) who is sadly no longer with us. I was so excited to see a movie for grownups, but he had to explain just about everything involved in the plot to me.
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Feb 28, 2023 17:05
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:Hint #2- I saw this film with my Papa (grandfather) who is sadly no longer with us. I was so excited to see a movie for grownups, but he had to explain just about everything involved in the plot to me. The Last Boy Scout!
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Feb 28, 2023 17:39
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Saoshyant posted:The Last Boy Scout! No! Hint #3: My Papa took me to see this movie in the theater when I was 13 years old.
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Feb 28, 2023 18:12
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:Hint #3: My Papa took me to see this movie in the theater when I was 13 years old. It's bloody Starship Troopers!
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Feb 28, 2023 19:00
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the matrix?
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Feb 28, 2023 20:18
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Saoshyant posted:It's bloody Starship Troopers! biosterous posted:the matrix? No and no! Hint #4: Entertainment Weekly reviewed this film at release, and gave it a C+!
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Feb 28, 2023 20:46
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point of no return i don't even want the vhs i just like puzzles
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Feb 28, 2023 22:03
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biosterous posted:point of no return Nope! Hint #5: The movie is based on a contemporary (at the time) book.
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Feb 28, 2023 22:08
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:Nope! this is intriguing but difficult to guess. Fight Club?
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Feb 28, 2023 22:15
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Manifisto posted:this is intriguing but difficult to guess. Fight Club? Nope! The hints so far are: Hint #1: This is a copy of the very first rated R movie I saw in the theater as a lad! Hint #2: I saw this film with my Papa (grandfather) who is sadly no longer with us. I was so excited to see a movie for grownups, but he had to explain just about everything involved in the plot to me. Hint #3: My Papa took me to see this movie in the theater when I was 13 years old. Hint #4: Entertainment Weekly reviewed this film at release, and gave it a C+! Hint #5: The movie is based on a contemporary (at the time) book. And now... hint #6: The movie currently has 6/10 on IMDB.
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Feb 28, 2023 22:33
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Okay, even with the hints it's still pretty hard. I'm going with The Night Flier, based on a Stephen King story published just a few years before, it's exactly 6/10 in IMDB, and R-rated. I have no idea how to check Entertainment Weekly's reviews from the late 90's, though.
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Feb 28, 2023 23:18
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 It's The Peacemaker! It's based on a book, it's 6 on IMDB and it's C+ on Entertainment Weekly! It's also the sort of thing a young teen would need some explanation on the politics and whatnot. I got it and don't you dare say I didn't! I even had to use the web archive for heaven's sake |
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Feb 28, 2023 23:27
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do i just post to bid Fifty on Superman |
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Feb 28, 2023 23:34
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30 on Flintstones wtf is that book even about |
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Feb 28, 2023 23:36
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:Nope! Is it Congo? |
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Feb 28, 2023 23:38
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