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he goes by mel, tbf also, im ron rumpf
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Mar 15, 2023 19:53
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LobsterMobster posted:
regional scene so tragic today's modern warriors can't even afford pants these rule, lobmob
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Mar 16, 2023 11:00
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it's the end of the month, time for more dust styled mens! D is for Dreadful Jeremiah Davenport  Record: 0-11 - 0.000 Notes: There is footage of someone named Jeremiah Davenport, but his fights don’t match up with anyone this specific Jeremiah Davenport has on record. Fun stuff! Best Names: Darnell Davis, Mike Sixel, Billy Kidd Stuart Davies  Record: 8-26 - 0.235 Streak: 15 Last Win: August 7, 2011 Notes: I’m not sure what happened to Stuart Davies. At one point in his career, he was a respectable 6-3, and after some rocky times, was 8-11. Then he lost 15 straight fights, absolutely cementing him in Dustman status. Did he lose the will to try? Is he depressed? He lost an interim title fight to a guy who has a win by Chest Smother on his record. Maybe someone should have done a wellness check on Stuart Davies 10 years ago. Best Names: Ross Mould, Nathan Beer, Dale Hardiman, Wesley Murch Dragan Dragojevi  Record: 1-11 (1-11 boxing) - 0.083 Streak: 8 (MMA), 1 (Boxing) Last Win: July 28, 2017 (MMA) Notes: This guy is bad at boxing and MMA, and it might be because his standup consists of shelling up in fear at every exchange. Best Names: Claudio Squeo
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Apr 1, 2023 00:29
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new dustmen? new dustmen. E is for Embarrassing Franklin Chancelor Edmonson  Record: 2-17 - 0.105 Streak: 5 Last Win: June 11, 2011 Notes: This dude is named Franklin Chancellor Edmonson and he decided to become a cage fighter. That’s just bad life planning. With that kind of name, he should have become an investment firm. Best Names: Jerry Barron, Albert Stainbeck, Tim Stout, Jason Coomer, Courage Tshabalala Jason Ehresmann  Record: 6-24 - 0.200 Streak: 6 Last Win: October 15, 2011 Notes: Ehresmann has one of my favorite moments in Dustman Lore, lying about your record to a regional organization. Of his fights that I watched, he’s shown a predilection for jumping guillotines, failing, and getting pummeled. Best Names: Chris Descourouez, Justin Reason, Cameron Schrempp, Chuck Parmelee Jay Ellis  Record: 16-107 (0-5 boxing, 0-1 Muay Thai) - 0.130 Current Streak: 10 Last Win: November 5, 2021 Notes: It’s said you learn more from a loss than a win. Jay Ellis must be the most knowledgeable fighter of all time. Apparently none of that information is actually applicable to fighting, since Jay keeps catching Ls. I mean, his name is Jay L is, Jay is Ls. Talk about nominative determinism. Best Names: Andy Normington, Mike Stumpf, Caleb Krull, James Warfield-Lane, Bobby Reardanz Gary Ellison  Record: 0-10 (2 Ineligible) - 0.000 Notes: I discovered two great moments in Ellison’s fight history. There was one fight when he was announced as Will Cairns, though the on-screen graphic and YouTube title list it as a “Garry Ellison” fight. Second is one bout when he took a low kick, fell down, took one hammerfist, but the opponent backed off, and Gary looked confused that the fight was going to continue. It lasted about thirty more seconds, but Gary really thought the fight was supposed to be over once his back hit the canvas. The old “This fight is going to be three hits. You hit me, I hit the floor, you hit me one more time to finish me off”, but it didn’t go exactly to plan for Gary. Best Names: Erol Raif, Jordan Stronge, David Relph Chris Ensley  Record: 6-46 - 0.115 Streak: 18 Last Win: May 30, 2014 Notes: One fight saw Ensley announced as being 42-38. The lies. The lies! His fighting style is to bounce on his toes and throw the world’s slowest kicks. Somehow this has not worked for him. Best Names: Jake Albinio, Sterling Ford, Dave Courchaine, Jessee Gengler Brad Evans  Record: 3-17 - 0.150 Streak: 5 Last Win: August 3, 2019 Notes: I’ll say this for Evans, he doesn’t instantly give up and go limp when ground and pound starts raining down. There was even one fight when he escaped and got back to his feet, if only briefly. Best Names: Ash Williams, Reece Street, Decky Dalton Ty Evans  Record: 0-12 - 0.000 Notes: I’m not sure how this happened, mostly because I refuse to watch this particular fight, but after losing 9 straight in the first round, his most recent bout went the full 15 minutes. Congrats on the perseverance, Ty! Best Names: Baraq Hunter, Willis Boudoin
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Apr 15, 2023 19:13
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i badly want ty vs. brad in a battle of the worst evanses
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Apr 15, 2023 19:18
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rare Magic card l00k posted:i badly want ty vs. brad in a battle of the worst evanses brad's got a cool snake or maybe dragon tattoo, but ty owns a gi should be a tough match for both
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Apr 15, 2023 19:21
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LobsterMobster posted:new dustmen? new dustmen. Came to see if he was here. TIL that because of this guy Cody McKenzie is on a 1 fight winning streak.
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Aug 6, 2023 00:32
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Marching Powder posted:Can I please just mention the worst sumo practitioner ever? Hattorizakura retired finally? Oh no. Poor Hattorizakura. I relate to him. The guy who just never got any better no matter how much time he put in. Also: Who the hell is Travis Fulton and would talking to him give me Spinner Dunn from Death to Smoochy vibes.
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Aug 6, 2023 16:09
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ChrisBTY posted:Hattorizakura retired finally? Oh no. Poor Hattorizakura. I relate to him. The guy who just never got any better no matter how much time he put in. Travis Fulton lied about more MMA matches than most fighters have in their careers and was a pedo who killed himself when he got caught.
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Aug 6, 2023 16:16
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That's even worse than I thought. Stupid thought that I just had: Phil Brooks runs the dustman gauntlet.
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Aug 6, 2023 17:33
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Stuart Davies once lost to a guy named Lewis "The Foot" Long.
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Aug 7, 2023 17:32
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oh hey, this thread. F is for Failure Washington “Gigante” Ferreira  Record: 2-10 - 0.167 Streak: 3 Last Win: May 20, 2010 Notes: Strange, but there’s no footage of a guy who got his rear end kicked on the Brazilian regional scene in the mid-2000s. Maybe Chael Sonnen was right and Brazil really doesn’t have internet. Best Names: Junior Fofinho, Corcino Troglo Bobby “The Bully” Ferrier  Record: 9-27 - 0.250 Streak: 8 Last Win: December 31, 2012 Notes: In one of Bobby’s most recent bouts, the commentators noted that he hadn’t had time to train regularly, so he was out of shape, but hey, the fight was some extra cash. At least we’ve finally got some honesty for a Dustman. Best Names: Cody Pasquale, Jake Grabowski, Jos Eichelberger, Brett Shoenfelt, Randy Kittleson Kris Fleurestil  Record: 1-14 - 0.067 Streak: 13 Last Win: October 7, 2006 Notes: There appears to be no footage of Fleurestil in action, sadly not even against Shonie Carter. Best Names: Daniel Wanderley, Russ Janca, Brent Mehrhoff Martin Fouda  Record: 5-20 - 0.200 Streak: 9 Last Win: August 3, 2019 Notes: Fouda’s a rare breed of Dustman in that all his wins and a fair number of losses are by decision. Granted, his last four have all ended in the first round, but he’s not always instantly crumbling. Of course, the fights I did watch that’s what happened, because I’m not a complete masochist, I’m not watching a Dustman’s decision losses. Best Names: Botan Tokay, Timo-Juhani Hirvikangas, Lewis McGrillen-Evans Zane “Nasty” Frazier  Record: 4-11 - 0.266 Streak: 1 Last Win: November 5, 2005 Notes: Perhaps other than Jay Ellis, who is the Godking of Dustmen, there isn’t a more notable guy with a bad record than Zane Frazier. He competed at the very first UFC, plus UFC 9. He also has a classic old school MMA weird loss on his record (Injured falling out of the ring at the World Vale Tudo Championships against Mestre Hulk). He’s also lost a lot of fights by TKO for being an alleged karate champion. Though I’m sure he was one of those karate champions where they don’t allow anything stronger than light taps to the chest and stern looks. Best Names: Wes Gassaway, Ron Rumpf
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Sep 2, 2023 19:54
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LobsterMobster posted:. this sounds like the starting lineup of an nhl game that you've simmed into 2040
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Sep 3, 2023 00:02
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ilmucche posted:this sounds like the starting lineup of an nhl game that you've simmed into 2040 I was thinking minor league cornhole team
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Sep 3, 2023 00:06
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official theme song of this thread https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jm5ZV1zetA0
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Sep 3, 2023 08:59
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the yeti posted:I was thinking minor league cornhole team I was thinking the UFC welterweight division circa 2010
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Sep 3, 2023 10:27
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and dustice for all
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Sep 3, 2023 19:41
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i have once again updated the list of men of dust G is for Godawful Vladimir Gerasimchik  Record: 1-11 - 0.083 Streak: 11 Last Win: March 4, 2010 Notes: We’ve got a doughy, sub-6 foot heavyweight who got wetly slapped in the torso by Nikita Krylov at Oplot and gave up a kimura in a minute. A proud tradition that will live on forever. Best Names: Guram Gugenishvili, Dmitry Poberezhets Ashley Gibson  Record: 2-17 - 0.105, 1-28 amateur - 0.034 Streak: 17 Last Win: March 26, 2016 Notes: Gibson has one plan, and that plan is to throw overhand rights with wild abandon. When he isn’t getting easily countered, he’s overextending and getting taken down and submitted with ease. Best Names: Ben Pickles, Jonny Brocklesby, Madars Fleminas, Matt Pepper, Nills Van Noord Carlos Eduardo “Cachorro Louco” Gomes  Record: 4-25 - 0.138 Streak: 6 Last Win: July 16, 2022 Notes: Carlos Gomes is well into his 40s and he fought 8 times in 2022, going 1-7, with four first round TKO losses. Best Names: Kolton Englund, Albino Negrao, Sanderson Tita, Magno Silva Yuri Gorbenko  Record: 12-50 - 0.194 Streak: 24 Last Win: February 14, 2016 Notes: Yuri had back to back fights with Ion Cutelaba and Serghei Spivac, which is a tough time for most regional guys, but it’s especially hard for a sub-6 foot hairy lima bean man. Best Names: Vitaly Lichman, Konstantin Glukhov, Pavel Snigur, Donald Njatah Nya, Boubacar Balde, Rihards Bigis, Muslimbek Muslimov
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Sep 10, 2023 22:28
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Venomous posted:official theme song of this thread lmao also, ben pickles
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Sep 11, 2023 02:37
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Albino Negrao
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Sep 11, 2023 02:42
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more dust men and one dust women H is for Horrible Vic Hall  Record: 6-22 - 0.214 Streak: 5 Last Win: February 8, 2014 Notes: I won’t say Hall has no ground skills. I’ve seen him scramble out of bad positions, but he doesn’t really have good ground skills. That should be expected when all but one loss has been by submission. Best Names: Quinton Askelson, Thad Yaggy, Brandon Bowser, Beau Admire, Jarrod L’Heureux Did He Fight Travis Fulton: At 1-0 when Fulton was 220-46 Mark Hermann  Record: 2-13 - 0.133 Streak: 5 Last Win: October 13, 2007 Notes: Jesus Christ, Hermann’s career barring his last fight in 2012, all took place in 2007. He fought fourteen times, almost exclusively in Iowa, losing 13 times. What a horrible life. Just getting pummeled in front of the same two dozen people in the Cedar Rapids airport Quality Inn conference room over and over and over. And over. Best Names: BeeJay Hurst III, John Cronkling RT Hicks  Record: 4-22 - 0.153 Streak: 15 Last Win: February 6, 2010 Notes: “666” RT Hicks has an enormous 666 back piece and is utterly dreadful at fighting. Guess the Devil doesn’t help that much. He basically gets dumped on the ground and punched until he gives up. Hail Satan! Best Names: Thor Freeburg, Starr Roberts Jr Albert Hill  Record: 3-20 - 0.130 Streak: 11 Last Win: July 8, 2006 Notes: Quite a conundrum we have here. Hill’s got a picture on his Tapology profile, so I assume his fights wouldn’t be hard to track down. Yet when I slap my horrid little flippers on the keyboard and punch the keys that make “ablerp hlil mmmmm, aaaaaa” into YouTube, it only gives me one Albert Hill fight, but it’s not against anyone on his record. What the hell, guys. This should have been relatively easy. Best Names: Nick Shadwick, Tony Llamas, Shawn Bias, Billy Kidd Jonathan “Dragon” Hines  Record: 3-27 (0-2 Boxing) - 0.100 Current Streak: 6 Last Win: February 15, 2014 Notes: Hines is another guy with no fight footage that matches his record, so I don’t know if the one or two videos of Jonathan Hines MMA are him or not. This project sure gets frustrating at times! Best Names: Nate Jolly, Shane Matchette, TJ Barber, Portland Pringle III Mikiko Hiyama  Record: 0-11 - 0.000, 0-1 Exhibition, 0-1 Amateur Streak: 13 Notes: We got ourselves a Dustwoman! Hiyama has shown, in the two fights of hers I watched, less than rudimentary striking, and at best bad ground skills. Still, she goes out there and gets wrecked regularly for no discernable reason. She recently lost via Chicken Wing Armlock, which is strange because I thought Bob Backlund was dead. Best Names: Hyo Kyung “Goddess of the Octagon” Song Jeff “The Steuss Killer” Horlacher  Record: 8-25 - 0.242 Streak: 1 Last Win: July 30, 2011 Notes: Whatever the hell a Steuss is, rest assured, they are safe from bum-rear end Jeff. He easily gets taken down and submitted. The few times he’s ended up in an advantageous position on the ground, it’s because an opponent got too overzealous in their submission attempts. He also fought Drew Fickett twice, once in his debut when Fickett was 3-0, which isn’t so bad, and again when he was 5-11 and Drew had rocketed up to 33-5 which has got to suck. Also, most egregious of all, Horlacher has put out “rap disses” against opponents which are just 4 minutes of him saying mostly homophobic rhyming couplets. gently caress off, Jeff. Best Names: Ted Opalinski, Rob Wooden, Joe Vigil, Robert Rose, Travis Degrout
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Oct 11, 2023 03:28
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Portland Pringle III
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Oct 11, 2023 04:05
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Bob Backlund's fine last I heard
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Oct 11, 2023 05:31
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LobsterMobster posted:more dust men and one dust women  this thread makes me smile every time it comes back, thank you
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Oct 11, 2023 06:08
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