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gently caress This Orc Last time on Tower of Time I got my poo poo beat in by an orc boss off camera. Today I'm not gonna beat this boss, but I'm gonna show you all why he sucks donkey balls.  I burn our gold on training a bunch of dumbasses to level 10. Rakhem and Boron can stay at level 7 because they suck.  This is not nearly as useful as I'd like it to be.  Wowee a Grand Council Chamber!  So let's take a look at this dogshit boss.  A lot of people are going to go in without thinking - like I did - and run into this loving thing. That is a variant of the despised "Thorn Brenin Doofus Jump" that hits a whole area and...  stuns the entire goddamn party.  Then he literally one shots every character not named Kane. Now, you might think, "well, that's pretty heavily telegraphed, TGEK you loving moron, can't you just dodge it and kill him?"  Well, let me introduce you to a new mystery. I call it "what killed Kaela?"  You see that poo poo? This is why Kaela keeps dying. Her guns are exclusively physical damage, and this worthless rear end in a top hat reflects 100% of it back to her so she dies. Now you might think "oh, just tell her not to autoattack", right? There is no way to turn that off. Unless you are constantly microing people like Maeve, Boron, and Kaela, they will loving murderize themselves just shooting this rear end in a top hat. It's real dumb game design!  At least his other two moves have an obvious counter. I can't really blame them for this kind of crap as WoW does it all the time. Of course, the next question is who the gently caress are you supposed to use to do DPS? The guy has elemental resistances coming out of his rear end, and while I load up on resistance shredding as a matter of course that just puts us to parity. Whisper? A lot of her damage comes from her self buffed autoattack. Aeric? Aeric specializes in Earth and Water and that's the elements this guy resists the most. Rakhem? Guy is half physical and relies on his autoattacks to regen mana. Again, this isn't like the Tower Avatar throwdown, this is a random loving techno-orc we met in a hallway.  I rotate in Rakhem. Rakhem is busy stripping out all the elemental resistances from our party because... I don't loving know. It's at this point I ragequit the game. Session 2.  Off to a great start!  Annnd we all go down as my healing cooldowns are too great and I think I need to grind for better gear. Next Time: Why hast thou forsaken me, o Lord?
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Sep 26, 2023 01:50
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TheGreatEvilKing posted:You see that poo poo? This is why Kaela keeps dying. Her guns are exclusively physical damage, and this worthless rear end in a top hat reflects 100% of it back to her so she dies. Now you might think "oh, just tell her not to autoattack", right? Of all the insufferable...did they playtest this poo poo? LJN92 fucked around with this message at 05:01 on Sep 26, 2023 |
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Sep 26, 2023 01:57
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Oh god, TGEK, that's the sort of poo poo you're supposed to lead with, can you imagine if some poor soul had decided to start the game as a laugh-along only to meet that? There's plenty of stupid reasons to force a player to micro but this one is among the worst.
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Sep 26, 2023 02:05
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Can you take advantage of that 0% void resistance at all? Alternatively, is it possible to intentionally nerf the poo poo out of your physical damage (e.g., by equipping some stat sticks or outdated weapons rather than your normal murderizing bow) to cut down on the damage you do so there's less damage available to reflect?
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Sep 26, 2023 03:47
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I'm starting to think this game isn't bad because the writers and designers are bad, but it's intentionally bad to just be evil
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Sep 26, 2023 04:28
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Slaan posted:I'm starting to think this game isn't bad because the writers and designers are bad, but it's intentionally bad to just be evil Given the quality on display, I suspect any amount of suggesting the devs did something intentionally is giving them too much credit.
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Sep 26, 2023 06:09
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A Totally Different Perspective (No One Cares About) Welcome back! Last time on Tower of Time, we ran into a dogshit boss that made me nearly abort the LP. Unfortunately I promised you all one of the worst endings I've ever seen in a videogame and we're going to get there, dammit!  loving hell, we need to grind to get past this sack of poo poo. Let's get this over with.  They don't spawn at at once and like everything in Tower of Time they're a loving boring slog where you have very few options to actually affect the combat.  Of note is that we only get 2 crystal behemoths instead of three during this fight, but I recorded this so long ago I may have misremembered.  We get a unique shield. Wow! loving hell, even Diablo uniques do something new and interesting. This is just dull.  As my patience with this trashfire of a game is growing limited I decide to give this a try,  By removing the physical DPS crew and staying in proximity we kill the orc. What an interesting and well designed boss.  I think you're supposed to play higher difficulties by minmaxing to every fight, but your reward for this is getting dick kicked for the professional equivalent of a sixth grader who just discovered fanfiction.  I'm not even going to give the game poo poo about advanced tech swords. These fuckers can't even coordinate their art and narration, what did you expect, a well thought out explanation for why the orcs don't just machine gun the party?  Thank you Boron, the narrator just said that.  : Perhaps--no, never mind, the odds of that are too unlikely. : What, Elf of the Loth'rien? Share your theory with us.Try addressing the next person you meet as something like "American of the Bronx"!  Will we see the exciting resolution of the Sleath plotline? Does anyone really care? I know the answer to one of those questions!  : Your insight may be more accurate than you suspect, Forest Mage... I indeed sense the same magical energies between both groups of creatures. And this is most disheartening... : Why is that, your highness?: If that is true, then who knows what else lays in wait for us? We may very well soon find ourselves - the crude creatures - and our opponents far more advanced.TheGreatEvilKing summarizes this garbage posted:
 Absolutely not.  I am leaning toward not doing this quest and just sprinting toward the ending.   The funny thing is it's not clear whether or not the Organthe would have moved to open war if Proteus hadn't hosed around with them. So far Proteus is 0-1 on all this crap, and he has an astounding talent for convincing Artara's best and brightest to die so he can do... stuff.  Whatever. Let's keep going.  Uuuuugh.  : This is my final warning to you. Enter this room and die. Much like a beaten prisoner desperately trying to avoid more torture, we go the other way so I can avoid this game's dull excuse for combat.    : At the clanking of your party's armor, the figure turns to face you. His arms spread wide as if to conjure magic, his head dropped down, masking his face in shadow. : (tightening the grip on his axe) Ready, lads.: The figure lowers his hands and approaches from the podium. : I sense the approach of an impending storm. One from which there is no cover.: (drawing his blade) Stand fast and give us your name, stranger. : The hooded figure removes his hood, revealing a familiar face. : It is I, Philitas the Librarian. You remember, renowned historian of our day, relentless seeker of knowledge, master archaeologist, author of 'A Treatise on the Elven Race'.We met this guy way back on floor 1. Like everything else in this game, he is here both to confuse the player and waste their time. : All eyes shift to Aeric. Who blinks without a word. After a pause, Maeve notices Kaela shift uncomfortably. The marksman whispers to her. : Something wrong?: No... I don't think so. It's just- there's something oddly familiar about him. : We have no need of such services...: And oh, how your party has grown. If my eyes don't deceive me, it seems a representative of every race of Artara is present. How wonderful...: Well. It is good to see you again. But we must be on our way. The bottom of the tower awaits. It's another fetch quest, isn't it? : ?: There is a book I desperately need. It lies in the old library on the second tier of the Parliament.: We've seen this chamber. It is locked. gently caress. You. : What does the book look like? : Philitas approaches the back wall and pushes the small stone. A teleporter pad close by is activated.: Use this teleporter. It will lead you to a hidden library. You can find the key inside somewhere. Why the gently caress am I doing this? TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Like a dumbass, I go, even though I could maybe have just rushed the floor exit and skipped this tedium.  Oh look it's the god drat beasts from floor 3 that have regeneration because gently caress you for playing.  I think this was the boss. Now, this dude literally remembers the Dawn of Time on Beastworld and is thus infinitely more interesting than any of the losers we're saddled with, and I assume to round it out he has some kind of precognition that told him he would lose to fiction's most generic war party.  He dies! Next!    I should really have something more clever than referencing R. Scott Bakker again.  This is reminding me of Starfield, and I'm legitimately thinking Starfield is the next game we do.  I don't even think Starfield is that bad, but the story is kind of hilariously awkward and silo'd. It'll be fun!  Now that we got the key from Frollo's backup choir we can go on and look for this library to find the book to give to the not totally suspicious wizard man.   The peril of genre writing is that you get sucked up your own rear end with stupid poo poo that doesn't make any sense outside of the plot. The wizards need to commit mass suicide to stop the evil aliens because people got big mad and used the evil aliens' power to blow up a bunch of robots that the aliens sent to trick people into using magic. This is the sheer level of contrivance we need for everyone to happily vote for sending a thousand of the world's best and brightest to the guillotine.  This would be laughable even in a game without quantum rabbits. Let's go check out that room the Avatar warned us about, shall we?   That's right kids, you've had Days of Old, now we can see the Avatar's Journal and venture into the psyche of this deeply intriguing and unique character!   God, this is stupid. : But their intent was not always in opposition. The Path of Incompetence posted:In the beginning their goal was the same noble objective as Proteus himself - protect Artara at any cost. : But where Proteus saw the war with the Organthe as all but lost, my creators believed the Shadow threat could yet be overcome.: They experimented with every means possible to create the ultimate constructs.: Artificial beings who followed orders fearlessly with unwavering persistence and unquestioned loyalty.: The perfect warriors.This is a much less stupid solution than almost anyone else in the game.   My eyes! posted:And each passing day brought the invaders one step closer to Artara's seemingly inevitable conquest. The Days of Old visions dismiss all of this as "some people tried to fight them with technology".  gently caress! Who tested this posted:The Magi quickly surmised they would not succeed without aid from the First Magus. : Proteus erected an impenetrable barrier around his level of the tower, severing all contact from the outside world.: Already having failed to breach the barrier themselves, my creators turned to their construct creations.: But like their masters, they too failed.  Sure, why not. : A construct created for one purpose alone. To break Proteus' barrier.: The rebel Magi crafted a construct bound directly to the Tower itself.: A truly unique meld of magic and technology, unlike anything that had come before it.: In their crowning achievement, the Tower Avatar was brought online... : And I was eager to fulfill my duty.TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Naturally, this is the ancient rebel's robot lab. I guess they decided they only needed one robot to fight the crazy guy who was channeling the spirit of Jim Jones. : There, you have it... She is a weapon designed by these Magi who rebelled against Proteus. Nothing more.: It seems like the Magi and Proteus were both trying to save Artara. I wonder why they couldn't work together?I don't know, why would anyone have a problem with the evil hologram that looks like death commanding the mass suicide of all their friends? : Cause they angered him off by the sounds of it, not throwing in with the other lads who gave their lives. You seem like a totally unbiased observer. : I find this room... unsettling, may I suggest we depart with haste?   Do...does anyone actually care?  : Let party decide. In a shocking twist the women in the party dislike violence against female bodies, who knew? : Kane's personal grievance with the Tower Avatar is between an old soldier and his adversary. If your champions wish to intervene and get in the middle of that affair, so be it. You allow your champions to conclude the situation on their own. In a few moments it's clear Kane won't let the situation go.: As Maeve and Kaela close in around Kane, imploring him to change his mind, the shieldguard sheathes his sword. He then takes Maeve by the shoulders and moves her out of the way abruptly. Has this ever worked?  : Aye, Laddie, ah think she'll get that message loud an' clear.TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 I pick up some crap, and...   It's more loving golems! The best part?  It's one of those lovely 2 person cage battles. If you have say, Kane and Aeric as the two people out you don't have the DPS to break the cages on your DPS guys and just loving lose. At this point I realize that I have things I could be doing, such as self-mutilation, that would be more fulfilling. Next Time: gently caress it, let's rush the ending.
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Nov 2, 2023 01:21
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If the Avatar's job is to breach the barrier around Proteus, shouldn't she be helping you all the way? Sure, Proteus called the party to the tower so he presumably needs them for something, but it's not like they're opposing forces.
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Nov 2, 2023 01:30
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TheGreatEvilKing posted:
Sure, they've murdered thousands of beings in combat getting this far, but breaking a couple inactive robots in a forgotten laboratory? My god, these monsters will stop at nothing!
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Nov 2, 2023 02:04
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anilEhilated posted:If the Avatar's job is to breach the barrier around Proteus, shouldn't she be helping you all the way? This. Even if You is here to help Proteus, Proteus still has to lower the barrier to have You enter, giving the Avatar the best chance in ??? years to get in there.  Dumb game.
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Nov 2, 2023 03:09
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TheGreatEvilKing posted:
"Let the party decide" "Most of them disliked that" I don't get it, was "let the party decide" meant to be "sit back and let Kane act like a jackass"?
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Nov 2, 2023 03:18
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Now I see why I didn't check in the thread for a while, and I can see why you'd choose a Bethesda product to play next: they're crappy but not actively hostile in plot, mechanics and NPCs.
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Nov 3, 2023 15:21
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Bad plot, decent gameplay, a better mix to prevent burnount. I can't believe you didn't put a warning in the OP about the damage reflection, including damage reflection on autoattacks, that's just unbelievably filthy, and not in the fun way.
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Nov 4, 2023 00:43
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I'm not saying 100% damage reflection was invented by a malevolent elder god to torment humanity but it's odd that no human ever claimed to have come up with it originally.
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Nov 4, 2023 06:34
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Proteus The God Welcome back! Last time we wandered into the Avatar laboratory where the game hit us with the most predictable reveal imaginable. Today we're just speedrunning to the end of this floor because holy crap, this game is a dull sack of poo poo that is actively burning me out. You know my tolerances and that is not easy.  Please stop acting like anyone wants to engage with your combat system.  We can just leave the lab and not trigger the combat encounter. I forget if there's more stuff that way, but actually engaging with this game just results in more punishment.  Time for more lore!  I'm really not sure how the game actually intends to portray the rebel Magi, but we'll get to that more as we learn more. This is also something that has literally no effect on our characters.  A lot of these games or stories about discovering the sins of the past generally has it tie back to the characters or events in some way. I'm gonna use Elden Ring because it's cool and good, unlike this game.  The plot of Elden Ring is that your character goes on a quest to become the Elden Lord and hearken back to a magical golden age where things didn't suck and there weren't random fire zombies and hags and whatnot.  The game starts with you heroically storming a castle run by a cruel lord after being exhorted to seek the Elden Ring to maybe reunite the land and that God's grace is returning. As you do more optional things you learn that the past was actually not nearly as rosy as the intro narrator and Melina would have you believe and the more you learn the more you realize you're trapped into the same bind as Queen Marika. There are clear parallels between the sins of the ancient world and what you do.  Meanwhile the great war of the Wizards and Aliens here means absolutely nothing to these characters. Yes, it unleashed a great cataclysm that destroyed the world, but neither the wizards nor the aliens have had a meaningful impact on pointlessly wandering the tower because a hologram that looks like death told Lord Spock there was free candy. Even loving Dark Deity managed to tie its backstory catastrophe to the Nacho Club and the Elfluminati being idiots.  Seriously! Half the enemies in this game don't tie into the Wizard-Alien war at all!   We've seen like one robot the aliens built, the Tower Avatar, etc.  The only thing the two narratives have in common is Proteus and his hubris. This is not nothing, but all the aliens and the wizard civil war have almost nothing to do with it.  : One thousand remaining Magi did the last thing they could do. Wait, hold the gently caress up. They could do that the whole time? They could just get rid of the evil alien energy just like that? Why the gently caress didn't they do that instead of this stupid poo poo with the swords and robots?  Proteus is a master of mind control. What I'm saying is, think carefully about whom you believe here. : Their sacrifice created a god, for only a god could opposed such an immense power.: ...and this god looked at the bodies of his friends and family around him and wept, his heart broken with grief.Really?  : On the other side he could see a swarm of Organthe waiting to cross over.: He could feel their immense hunger. He could hear their obsessive thoughts of destruction and he despaired...: Yet his resolve was strong.: He was the last hope for the land, for his people, and perhaps for all other sentient beings in the galaxy.TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
This story keeps getting dumber and more nonsensical. They needed a god to fight the aliens. There is an actual, literal god of death in the Tower's basement. Earlier in the game posted:
Now, I have no idea how that works with the Organthe literally stripping people down to their last atoms, but you know what? We live in a land of quantum rabbits, incel knights, and characters who hamstring everyone when they don't get their way. Why bother questioning it any more? It's all just dumb!  At this point there's a legitimate debate to be had about how the game portrays Proteus. Is he a savior? Is he a deceiver? Is his request to be judged going to lead to an ending that gives White Knight Chronicles II a run for its metaphorical money? I can answer one of those questions!  It's very hard for me to tell if we're supposed to believe Proteus really is a genius making hard choices that are mostly caused by his own ineptitude or whether he's the ultimate villain. I'll save final thoughts for the end!  Whisper gets this to nuke harder.  I'm going to spare you this fight. It's a bunch of orcs. The boss has a lot of health. It is solved via tank and spank. It's boring and it sucks.   : (averting his eyes in disgust) Such unbridled violence.: These are not the ordinary wounds of a skirmish...: No kidding. This was personal... Vengeance.: But for what? And by whom? Are you ready for a very special lesson on orc racism?  A Drizzit?  : Halfway through the debate the orc looks to your champions, anticipating who will talk next - a clear sign he comprehends the conversation. The orc raises a bloody hand toward Kane, fingers spread and speaks. : Inershta. Wachenga. Wachenga. : Bigs! Pull Kane away!: The giant lumbers to Kane's side and reaches out to snatch him to safety. : You're human.. and yet you do not attack. Why is this?: What do you mean why? You didn't attack us, why should we attack you?: Strange clothes, too. You are not dressed like the other humans.: Other humans? What other humans?: Quiet, Maeve. I think he can only understand me.: As long as we remain bonded. All of your thoughts are clear to my thoughts.: Maybe he speaks of the Magi of old. Did you come to this tower and provoke the human inhabitants-is that why they seek vengeance against you?: No. We came to the tower to escape the slaughter. Humans live in our world for many generations. The conflicts between our races were few and far between. That was until something changed recently and the humans became determined to kill everyone different from themselves.: Their technology seems to have improved greatly in an extremely short time span. They wield new destructive magic we orcs have no defense against.: The humans are exterminating everyone... forcing us away, increasing their territory while diminishing our own. Even the Elkreeish (pointing to Aeric) are killed... their forests burned and harvested for human war machine factories. Homie I don't know what to tell you, something presumably happened to the orcs in this timeline and there was a mention in the Daeva trial of an elf-goblin war and now there are apparently no more goblins. Which is a shame, because I'd swap out Kane for a goblin in like five minutes.  Not pictured: the two guys with healing magic trying to do anything for this orc.  : It will declare you, friends to all orcs with wishes to talk in peace. But I must confess, until Khangus declares you an ally, any of the humans you encounter will believe you to be the humans from our world.... Believing their life is in jeopardy, they will attack without provocation.Translation: You'll do more ToT combat and like it, shitlord. TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Yeah, nope! Do not care! Every time I actually engage with the content in this game it's unrewarding, tedious crap! Apparently the reviews for Dark Envoy are that it is more tedious crap with a confusing plot and... are you surprised?  The unique loading screens for floors stopped a long time ago and I assume they just wanted to finish this crap up at this point.  No, no one has anything to say and we go to the sci-fi realm.   Unfortunately there are a bunch of orcs we have to fight to the death, and at the prospect of more Tower of Time combat I decide to stop recording. Next time: We get close to a moral decision that maybe actually matters! but not really
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Nov 5, 2023 16:09
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: I am not dead, child. I am Death. Do not worry, you will know me for what I am. All mortals of this world will know the everlasting embrace of Cindros, one day. As for those Risen, they are an affront to me as well. What is rightfully mine has been ripped away. Blasphemy!
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Stop with the plot twists, there aint no saving this jumble of tired fantasy clichés. I swear I came up with better world histories while sitting on the commode.
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Nov 5, 2023 16:33
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I can't even see the plot twists anymore, they have all dissolved into mush.
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Nov 6, 2023 01:08
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The plot twists at this point are so pointless and poorly written that they actively hurt to read.
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Nov 6, 2023 07:56
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There are plot twists? Like, there kind of has to be SOMETHING HAPPENING for the plot to twist in any way. Nothing that happens here has any weight at all to it.
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Nov 7, 2023 01:32
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Well, Kane has gone from as exciting as drying paint to actually quite worrying. It was actually unexpected that all the women and only the women disliked his little outburst.
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Nov 7, 2023 01:45
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…I’ve forgotten, because the plot is so forgettable and yet overly complex. Did we learn of Proteus actually doing anything, other than calling the player character? Because I feel like the game wants us to feel sympathy for him, but the planet’s dyin’ Cloud, and he’s done jack-all. There’s still magic, so he didn’t somehow purify the world from the Thetans. That also means all his friends sacrificed for nothing. What is supposed to be redeemable at all about him?
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Nov 7, 2023 04:39
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Domus posted:…I’ve forgotten, because the plot is so forgettable and yet overly complex. Did we learn of Proteus actually doing anything, other than calling the player character? Because I feel like the game wants us to feel sympathy for him, but the planet’s dyin’ Cloud, and he’s done jack-all. There’s still magic, so he didn’t somehow purify the world from the Thetans. That also means all his friends sacrificed for nothing. What is supposed to be redeemable at all about him? Proteus is the guy who originally discovered that the magic came from the Thetans.  This starts a whole thing where people decide that letting in the Organthe would be super bad, actually, so the Organthe just kind of generate a whole army of evil robots with plot powers because gently caress your logic. The Magi - and Proteus, as First Magus - are responsible for preventing people from using the magic because it lets the aliens in, but the elves try to fight space robots with swords, get owned, and then use the magic anyway. Proteus does nothing about this because he's too busy getting other people to sacrifice for him again.  I really can't stress enough how often Proteus' default move is to get his allies to hurt or kill themselves for his magical bullshit. THEN, after he decided that all his friends had to commit mass suicide to turn him into a god instead of getting out the god they had lying in the basement, he refused to help the other, less stupid mages build robots to fight the aliens. Really, the guy has been worse than useless. He also put Kaela in the stasis chamber for whatever reason, but I have... theories about that and the player character's attraction to Kaela that will have to wait until the end of the game.  Totally not a suspicious character, honest! I need to find the rant where he says not to trust him, so I legitimately have no idea what the game is going for here.
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Nov 7, 2023 06:50
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gently caress This Orc 2: The Fuckening Yea...it's been a while...look, work has been absolute dogshit lately, ok? Look, last time, we wandered the Tower of Dumb and found an orc the party decided not to be racist to for reasons I don't fully understand. Today we're going to go meet Carl Chungus the great Khan and, look, I won't lie to you, it's going to be a bunch of tedious tepid diarrhea like the rest of this game. Aliens not guaranteed.  It's more Tower of Time combat. You spam the same moves over and over until the game decides enough trash mobs have fallen to the dark gods. I'll call em out if we run into more...interesting mechanics (and we will!) just...not in this update.  Kane's sexual frustration makes Kaela invulnerable.  I am coming back months later after recording this and man, I don't remember this fight at all and wish I was playing Unicorn Overlord instead. Now that's a good game.  Boron is aptly named. : I agree, it just doesn't feel right to keep killing these orcs without cause...we must find a way to communicate with them. The words of the dying Shaman weigh heavy on me.I thought Kane renounced all his virtues? Whatever, man! These characters don't have arcs so much as crack-fueled contortions that move around in no discernable pattern. : Communicate if you must, but remember, it is they who draw steel against us first.TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 Two things to take away from this. The first is that you can mash together two science words to make any kind of science device, but it works better if one of them is "quantum". The second is that this society can generate an insane amount of power. Hold onto that thought for later.  Have I mentioned I hate this game's itemization system? I have? Ok.  But Kaela kept talking about how the standard weapon of their troops were pistols. Unless you were an elf, I guess? Whatever man. If Helldivers 2 can have a crossbow I guess these future people can have a crossbow.  It drains your health and mana. Onto the shelf it goes.   Yeah, it's another uninspired fetch quest. I'm gonna have to step things up to get us to the end of this game, aren't I?  Man remember that time we had to do that whole mage test zone with the four elements?  God drat! You know, I don't think anyone would have complained about less of this, because this game has worn out its welcome extremely badly. There is a reason I stopped this LP for a while, and it's because I got super bored with it. We'll try to finish it and then we can... I dunno, play Starfield. Or I make myself finish Lost Eidolons. One of the two.  Skip!  Mehhhh  This would probably be worth using but every time I interact with the enchantment system something beautiful leaves this world that will never come back.  I'd be remiss if I didn't point out we were still in Technology Land.  In the absence of anything better to talk about we may as well talk about Proteus again.  He's really the only character who I feel is fleshed out enough, and this is once again just further proof of his arrogance. Rather than share any useful information about farming techniques or anything like that that could alleviate the resource shortage, he shares bullshit fighting techniques that rely on honor and compassion (what?) He's the idiot who went over to Organthe land and provoked them into open war, but this never comes up as he extols the virtues of magic.  This is probably the most useful of the three, but it doesn't matter because the Organthe are so powerful they've transcended the use of tools and can open gateways in a greedily self-sacrificing way.  For all Proteus' genius he has become a shadow of the enemy he supposedly hates.  Of course, this raises more questions. Did the Tower Avatar creators get their hands on Proteus' books? Yes, he outright admits to holding things back in the magic book, but would that have helped them finish Tower Avatar to, um, destroy the Organthe or whatever the hell the point was?  Rellick seems like the smartest guy in the room, but as far as I can tell the Organthe haven't actually made it over yet so I have no idea how you do that. I guess their thoughts made it over or whatever.  Oh, it's a fetch quest. Dude, I no longer care.  And just like that, we go from a moderately different factory floor setting back to the same generic boring rear end lava cave fantasy poo poo. Threatened by the prospect of Tower of Time combat, I turn around and head the other way.  I really don't have much to say this update. This is just kind of...sad and mediocre, really.   "Koloss" are orc like creatures in Sanderson's Mistborn trilogy, which is about asking the question what if the big evil guy who legalized rape if you kill em afterward was actually stopping an evil god. There you go, I saved you 30 bucks.  I unlock more forgettable levels. Whisper here has maxed her mastery stat.  Another forgettable fight.  Don't worry, we'll cover the next one in more detail.    Orcs in black armor? Wow. Creative. : Would ye look at the size of that one...: That must be Kahl Kangus, the leader. Not pictured: shieldwall. It's also just weird that the techno-orcs who have guns and advanced medicine are using...a spearwall, but this is the same game where the evil ancient weapon the primitive orcs were using was a battering ram. Look, I hate tedious worldbuilding as much as the next Book Lord, but this is both stupid - remember, this setting has nuclear weapons - and lazy, because the Orcs in Black aren't shown.    I know you guys can draw some fairly impressive cutscenes. I wish you had done that instead of whatever the gently caress this is.  But...I thought his title was Khal? Whatever, if the game isn't putting effort into this I'm not giving him a portrait.  I am showing you all these screenshots so you can confirm the absence of the shieldwall of doom.  : What do humans know of peace?: We know much of peace. We stand before you now without arms...: Kane lays down his blade.: (under his breath) Bad idea. Bad idea. Ah wudn't do that, Lad.: ...to settle our differences as friends, under its banner.: The giant orc's eyes soften. His arms and shoulders drop as if giving way to a deep burden of sadness.: Humans have driven us off ocean cliffs. Burned us alive. Poisoned our prisoners of war. You have made the rivers run green with orcish blood... Chased us from our home to this far away place of stench and now you offer us peace? I can't believe that orc embezzled the animation budget. Also, holy poo poo, they didn't even give him a flail! I just realized he's holding a two handed hammer! Again, I get this is not a large studio, but I will stand by my mantra that not having something is better than having garbage. If you think the game is too long cut this level out!  : Wait! This is no deception, our offering is genuine. : Look at us, look at how differently we're dressed... we are not the humans you are at war with.  Whatever. Off we go. : You have the look of the high-priest. You are his agents, murderous liars, full of tricks.: We speak the truth. Stand fast and we will prove our words. loving Christ, I absolutely despise this idiotic plot twist every time it comes up in games. "You want me to fight against Turbo Hitler who has stated a desire to personally torture me by making me listen to Billie Eilish Youtube Covers? We must fight, and if I win you die, but if you win somehow I take no damage."  TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
 This fight is complete rear end.  The thing with Khan is that he is the exact same as the orc commander from earlier, with the hammer, because everything about this ork encounter is lazy and contradictory.  What these screenshots don't show is that a poo poo-ton of orcs are pouring out of the portals.  When you get him to half health he immediately goes back on his word and all the orcs jump in to help him.  "But TGEK, are they at least the black spear orcs the narrative wouldn't shut up about?" gently caress no, because this game is lazy as poo poo.  The horde of orcs wins the DPS race before my heroes can, but a future attempt at killing the orcs first gets everyone killed. gently caress this game. Next time: It's choice time!
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May 1, 2024 04:18
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It's good to see this LP back! It's nowhere near as good to see this game is still being terrible. I have to wonder what they were thinking with this gameplay, and the weird characterization of Proteus.
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May 1, 2024 04:57
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I've honestly had more enjoyable gastric infections than this game.
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May 1, 2024 06:27
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I really don't get the imaginary shield wall. Surely it wouldn't be that difficult to either put some orcs in there or just cut the snippet out. Ditto with the flail, that's just lazy proofreading. Unless the lead writer is part of the Rothfussian "I am a genius don't you dare edit a word of what I wrote" school of writing.
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May 1, 2024 11:43
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2 million orcs proceed to interfere
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May 1, 2024 14:04
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Well it's either that or a gimmick boss with five different damage reflection phases, this is awful, but it's so much better than what it could be.
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May 1, 2024 19:20
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I have no idea whats happening anymore
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May 1, 2024 23:10
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TGEK Is A MoronNissin Cup Nudist posted:I have no idea whats happening anymore Well, we are trapped in a magic tower trying to maybe free the wizard who blew up the world to stop the aliens, but for some reason there are techno-orcs from another dimension who are fleeing genocide and unwilling to listen to peace entreaties. Duh! Welcome back! Last time we met the noble orc leader with an inconsistent name and an army of invisible orcs who beat our rear end in one of the worst bossfights ever. There will be worse. Today I'm going to realize something really, really obvious.  Unfortunately I'm an idiot who didn't save after this fight and it all goes to poo poo real fast. I won't post too much about it except that my characters get overwhelmed and destroyed because I can't outdps the pile of annoying healer dudes from the middle portal.  It's at this point I realize that most of the characters are still using t1/t2 gear I left on for powerful passives and I ask myself, what the gently caress was I thinking? This shield is nominally a downgrade, but it lets me turn the game's own bullshit against it, so it goes on Kane. The other problem with Kane is that while he's very tanky right now he's also slow as balls and has to burn mana and cooldowns to get to the fight. I miss a LOT of screenshots here, but we trade out a lot of his tankiness for movement speed, equip Whisper with her blizzard spell instead of the tri-elemental blast thing, upgrade Aeric to have real gear instead of random garbage, and go back into the Boring Orc Battle. I also swap out Aeric's resurrection skill for his extra earth damage enchant because that stupid orc is a damage race.  The ensuing fight is hilariously easier.  Adding a huge AoE blast cooldown to Whisper lets her slow and cut down on the hordes of dumb trash mobs this game loves to throw at us. With less trash mobs Kaela can follow her heart and gun down the local portals. Kane takes one for the team but he sucks so we don't care.  We blow up all the orcs with Nuclear Whisper and keep truckin along.  Seriously, the gap between the DPS and support characters is kind of hilarious.  Blah blah blah blah Chungus Blah Blah Blah Blah.  Let's do this again.  gently caress THIS GODDAMN TRASH GAME - uh, sorry. What happened here is that Khan McKahl walked out of the portal with these archers who were already aggroed, got his stupid Jump Stun off and started beating on Kane. Ok, Kane can take it.  Except for some reason they gave this stupid rear end in a top hat a freeze attack too. This traps Kane in a pillar of ice we could smash... if the entire loving team wasn't stunned because this jackass can leap halfway across the map.  Whisper gets one-shot and dies.  Also, all the orcs just start aggro'd, so we have more jumpstun assholes and gunners.  ...yeah Round 2!  We're off to a good start as the fight doesn't immediately start by aggroing a bunch of bugged orcs. I decide to just wait and have the orc autarch come to us.  This leads to a hilarious turn of events where the orc uses his jump stun just as Kane uses his dash. The orc stuns no one, but Kane is now out of position. Unfortunately for Carl, we have two big summons with taunts (Kaela's missilebot and the Evil Tree) who immediately begin beating the poo poo out of him while the gunline goes hot.  The team is still able to shred elemental resistance pretty well, so I pull out the nukes.  Great. Annoying healer orcs.  We win by killing the boss, so my goal here is just to burst him down before the cheater army attacks.  Now that Kane's back in we can use our damage reflection to beat his rear end. Feels good, I think.  This is still Tower of Time. Once the gimmick is figured out you just fuckin grind away until all the HP are gone.  I don't even know.  Oh. I guess we did kill him because he was a moron. : Before you send me to the darkness, tell me one thing. What did your priest tell your people that made them hate us, that made them want to exterminate us?: We've been trying to tell you, we're not who you think we are. We're not the humans you've been at war with... We have nothing to do with this priest you speak of.: You came to this tower in our land. And your people have been attacking us, every chance they get. Is this supposed to be funny? : Different humans, Lad. [sic[: If true, then let us stay in your lands under a blood-bond of peace, forged here and now with my dying breath. Because of the poor punctuation it reads as though this orc is saying that great leaders and humans are untrustworthy, instead of being an honorific. : The orc leader silences his soldier with a snarl, then struggles to lift his broken, bloodied arm to shake hands and seal the pact. Kane slowly removes his gauntlet and extracts a dagger.: Careful, King's Champion... I have memories of such pacts. Hatred is not so easily dismissed. It runs deep in those orcs. This is just so bizarre. Remember, this is a land where the sun is dying and people can't grow food because the evil aliens unleashed a wave of intrusive thoughts that caused people to use magic to open a gate to the alien dimension. These characters are here trying to find a way to make it so they can have food and so that the remaining civilizations don't collapse under the weight of a dead world. What are these orcs going to eat? : Boron's right. Are you willing to take any chance with these creatures. [sic] Let the leader die and let us close the portal to their world permanently.: Eliminating the portal is the only way to truly assure peace.: With nerves frayed and your champions tired, your party breaks into a bitter debate of whispered shouts.. If you do not intervene, this could very well splinter your champions. Well, goons, the fate of the techno-orcs we just met five minutes ago is in your hands! Choose wisely!
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May 1, 2024 23:31
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...Do we really care? Let the Party decide.
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May 1, 2024 23:41
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Let the party decide, we can't really be bothered.
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May 1, 2024 23:58
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The techno orcs have black metal armor but sable metal spears. This is the detail that has decided to annoy me today.
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May 2, 2024 00:15
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Hey, we're back! I kind of figured this was the crappy game that just ended your motivation even in a way that the other lovely LP's haven't, but good to see we're back for more slog, I guess. Hopefully we run across some of the "Maximize Your Turns" surprises the author was bragging about soon, because this story desperate needs some kind of pizzazz - even if it comes in the form of completely off-the-rails  twists.I'm voting for meh whatever, party decides.
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May 2, 2024 03:35
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AN ACTUAL MEANINGFUL CHOICE? in this game?! Imma vote STAY and probably get disappointed by poor plot execution. Hope is always the last to die.
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May 2, 2024 06:56
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We didn't care last time, so why should we start caring now? Even if we let them stay, the game's probably going to twist it so we did a bad thing anyway. Let the party decide.
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May 2, 2024 07:00
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Let the idiots decide. I have my suspicions on how the game will treat the orcs staying, but that might even be too predictable for this level writing. MagusofStars posted:this story desperate needs some kind of pizzazz
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May 2, 2024 07:19
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Let the portal stay open. I don't actually give a poo poo, but I'm all for more competition arriving on this crapsack planet to hopefully edge out and destroy the idiots who live here at the moment. Maybe our party's bloodlines will die out when techno orcs steal the last of their food.
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May 2, 2024 08:48
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Let the orcs come here If we can't figure out how to stop the world from dying, at least we can eat them. 
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May 2, 2024 10:41
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| # ? May 8, 2024 09:06 |
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Naturally, we've gone with the no one cares option.
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May 4, 2024 02:25
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