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im riding falkor
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Apr 5, 2023 21:08
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An elderly man was sitting alone on a dark path, right? He wasn't certain of which direction to go, and he'd forgotten both where he was traveling to and who he was. He'd sat down for a moment to rest his weary legs, and suddenly looked up to see an elderly woman before him. She grinned toothlessly and with a cackle, spoke: 'Now your third wish. What will it be?' 'Third wish?' The man was baffled. 'How can it be a third wish if I haven't had a first and second wish?' 'You've had two wishes already,' the hag said, 'but your second wish was for me to return everything to the way it was before you had made your first wish. That's why you remember nothing; because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes.' She cackled at the poor berk. 'So it is that you have one wish left.' 'All right,' said the man, 'I don't believe this, but there's no harm in wishing. I wish Joe Biden were President.' 'Funny,' said the old woman as she granted his wish and disappeared forever. 'That was your first wish, Joe.'
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Apr 5, 2023 21:11
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Negotiating the genie down to 1 wish and then wishing for what I think Republicans would want
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Apr 5, 2023 21:13
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yellowcar posted:i'm demanding the genie starts means testing his wish granting
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Apr 5, 2023 21:14
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i wish there was a best selling harry potter game
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Apr 5, 2023 21:21
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I wish anime was real. I wish Pokémon was real. I wish Geodude was real, and strong, and my friend.
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Apr 5, 2023 21:26
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Wish Jon Stewart would live forever and run the daily show Wish trump was put in jail for 8 months Wish the white fragility lady would run a seminar in my city
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Apr 5, 2023 21:40
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im going to read the lathe of heaven
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Apr 5, 2023 21:51
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lobster shirt posted:im going to read the lathe of heaven listening to an audiobook the lathe of heaven and having her talk about the very street i was driving down was some real brain melting poo poo ill tell you that much
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Apr 5, 2023 21:52
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wish 1: senate is back to 50-50 so kamala can cast more tiebreakers wish 2: non partisan voter districting for those that want it (blue states only, permanently hamstringing the dems) wish 3: we expand the court, adding two seats, and in the name of fairness appointing one ultra liberal justice (obama) and one guy from the federalist society. think of the dissents we'll get to read 
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Apr 5, 2023 21:53
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These Complainin rear end MFs From Omelas
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Apr 5, 2023 21:53
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wishing to get spit roasted by putin and trump wishing to get spit roasted by obungler and beto wishing for obama to chop off my head while the entirety of the famed black hammer cult robs my bank vault and i jack off
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Apr 5, 2023 22:00
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what was that tweet/meme/syq about doing tax rebates/incentives for books instead of having public libraries? that's my wish
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Apr 5, 2023 22:00
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wishing for more reagan style democrats
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Apr 5, 2023 22:01
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don't have any wishes. america and therefore the world is already great.
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Apr 5, 2023 22:10
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Bear Retrieval Unit posted:don't have any wishes. america and therefore the world is already great. [whispering into the Philosopher Stone] keep america great
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Apr 5, 2023 22:12
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i wish everybody in red states a very happy ecological disaster to serve them right for voting for republicans!
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Apr 6, 2023 01:16
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I wish for decorum. I wish for the end of history to return. I wish for America ruling the human race - forever.
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Apr 6, 2023 07:31
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brunch with pete brunch with chasten brunch with RBG's trainer I couldn't do brunch with pete and chasten together I needed all that tea spilled over my freaking face!
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Apr 6, 2023 07:36
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I lied about being a centrist to get genie perms. I'm gonna do crimes now.
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Apr 6, 2023 09:05
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vyelkin posted:wish for a gradual market-based solution to climate change 
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Apr 6, 2023 10:25
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Sorry guys, the parliamentarian says I'm not allowed to make a wish. Really wish I could do something, but my hands are tied.
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Apr 6, 2023 10:56
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The Oldest Man posted:make 1200 dollars and 2000 dollars the same amount of money taken literally this is beyond the power of a genie because it alters the laws of the universe
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Apr 6, 2023 11:04
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The Oldest Man posted:make 1200 dollars and 2000 dollars the same amount of money Give it a few more years and your wish will have been granted by the genie of inflation 
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Apr 6, 2023 11:16
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Pingui posted:Give it a few more years and your wish will have been granted by the genie of inflation don't like the sound of that genie...
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Apr 6, 2023 11:24
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I wish masks were gone from everywhere forever because Joe Biden shut down the virus and this is a huge optics problem
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Apr 6, 2023 12:19
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Socially liberal, financially conservative. The right answer is between the two!
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Apr 6, 2023 12:46
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-access to social safety nets -not in my backyard -not for undesirables
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Apr 6, 2023 13:30
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I'm going to figure out a way to create financialized derivatives of these wishes, then I never have to waste them.
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Apr 6, 2023 13:36
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Weka posted:I'm going to figure out a way to create financialized derivatives of these wishes, then I never have to waste them. Wait. Not until I sell an index security of the set of 3 wishes, otherwise we're not controlling risk.
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Apr 6, 2023 15:02
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1. my command of pithy observations is sharpened, leading people to look to me first as a mediator for sensible policy and negotiations (a rising tide lifts all boats, if it aint broke..., etc) 2. i go on safari in africa where i get inspiration for a self-help[ book which in turn inspires others to tap into their best selves 3. $$$$ from the movie version of my ghost written self-help book affords me property adjacent to the obamas in marthas vinyard and we have a good natured rivalry over who throws the hottest cocktailparties, most blurbs you know the deal
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Apr 6, 2023 15:17
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| # ? May 9, 2024 04:55 |
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1. I wish the Harry Potter lady were less mean. 2. No wait I wish people were less mean to the Harry Potter lady. 3. No wait I wish I were Harry Potter.
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Apr 6, 2023 16:10
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