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Had a neighbor once that was always full of poo poo. One time he told me about how he was riding a 4-wheeler and did himself a mischief and rolled it. . .37 times. He even said he counted. He told me that an area league football team wanted him to try out for the team, but he was too worried he would lose his job if he took time off to try out. He drove a cement truck. Back in the mid 90's I would go to the college library and go into chat rooms. One person I was talking to said she was Helen Hunt. This was around the time Twister came out and this person said she was talking to people to see what they thought about the movie. I told 'her' she was terrible in it. There's no way that was really her. . .right?
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Apr 18, 2023 17:04
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| # ? May 11, 2024 05:58 |
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One time I was told the story of REDMOON LEGBONE(or it was REDBONE LEGBONE) who was an evil indestructible skeleton who would chase you and kill you by ripping your legs off if you went to a cemetery at midnight when I was a dumb stupid idiot child and I was very scared for a long time
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Apr 18, 2023 17:07
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PureEvil6_13 posted:Had a neighbor once that was always full of poo poo. One time he told me about how he was riding a 4-wheeler and did himself a mischief and rolled it. . .37 times. He even said he counted.  this your neighbor?
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Apr 18, 2023 17:23
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snergle posted:
No, my neighbor didn't have any talent
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Apr 18, 2023 17:27
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Wow way to neg Helen Hunt, jerk
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Apr 18, 2023 17:40
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an incomplete list "We're going to be best friends forever!" (age 4) "I put a 20' extension cord on an NES controller, and beat mario3 from another room without seeing the screen!" (1st grade) "We're sending you to a good school we're you'll be well treated by staff and students and where stuff like bullying is rare and not tolerated!" (1st grade) "We're going to be best friends forever!" (3rd grade) "Thanksgiving was celebrated by the natives who were grateful to the white man (4th, 7th, 11th grade)" "Acid is a super dangerous drug that makes you literally see things that aren't there like pacman ghosts chasing you" (5th grade) "We'll be your friends and support you through this difficult time" (8th grade) "You can trust us in the guidance office to know about your self harm or whatever else is going on, and not inform people in ways that will cause you problems!" (10th grade) "This acid is pretty good, don't take more than 3 if you're dosing at school" (11th grade, and it turned out to be obscenely strong and 3 tabs was pure catatonia and I was lucky I made it home) "This acid is decent" (11th grade, turned out to be blank notebook paper) "The civil rights era was tumultuous and then nothing significant happened after about 1967" (11th grade) "Sign up for the army, I will buy you a keg of beer and you don't even have to go, just sign this poo poo and then don't show up, it's fine!!" (12th grade) "Every computer science graduate needs to understand some amount of assembly because you'll invariably need to use it at some point" (sophmore year college) "Java applets are a useful paradigm for putting applications on the web and you need to be good at this to be employable" (junior year college) "I won't gently caress our mutual friend's GF until they break up, because it would totally gently caress up our friend group" (junior year college) seems like once I exited college and had basically total control over the humans I am exposed to outside the work place, the amount of abject bullshit that gets thrown at me has plummeted 
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Apr 18, 2023 17:40
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"its important to trust people with your feelings and let yourself be vulnerable" yeah nice try not falling for that poo poo again!
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Apr 18, 2023 17:44
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Cabbages and Kings posted:"This acid is pretty good, don't take more than 3 if you're dosing at school" (11th grade, and it turned out to be obscenely strong and 3 tabs was pure catatonia and I was lucky I made it home) lol at these two in sequence
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Apr 18, 2023 17:44
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I don't remember all the details but a man named cornpop was involved
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Apr 18, 2023 17:45
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A mouse is more afraid of you than you are of it
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Apr 18, 2023 17:46
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It will get better
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Apr 18, 2023 17:46
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EorayMel posted:lol at these two in sequence this was during an era when a dude named Pickard was just pumping out assloads of LSD from a missile silo and even in the tiny town adjacent to my somewhat larger town, the most dangerous rednecks you can think of, that you wouldn't do a weed deal with in 2023, were able to source high quality crystal. So, this was all stuff being laid locally, the quality was absolutely all over the map, and sometimes people who were usually normal dealers would just sell you notebook paper because they were out of acid, needed money, were 3-4 years older and knew they could do it and not only would I not call the cops, I'd probably still buy more acid down the line. Total crazy period, acid at $1/tab in a middle/highschool setting is totally crazy. Flipside, at that point blank paper was about the worst you had to worry about, DOB barely existed at that point in time, and the loving fentanyl blotter poo poo that's out there now would have sounded like an insane D.A.R.E. scare more or less, all the poo poo DARE told me about designer drugs and the dangerous pills/etc was mostly bullshit at the time but now it's all basically true, I've seen GC/MS of "THC carts" contaminated with fentanyl. Fuckin nonsense, I think black market weed products excluding flower are probably way sketchier than the sketchier pot I bought in college, which is hosed up!! edit: this isn't the weed thread, oops, well, thanks for listening to my TIM Talk.
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Apr 18, 2023 17:49
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Santa Claus
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Apr 18, 2023 17:50
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Spending beaucoup bux on therapy is guaranteed to help you!
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Apr 18, 2023 18:12
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Burt Kreischer is funny.
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Apr 18, 2023 18:17
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Colonel Cancer posted:Spending beaucoup bux on therapy is guaranteed to help you! it actually did in my case a couple times but the overall odds are not great from what I can tell also, if you want therapy do not go to a "psychiatrist" IMO we can add to the list, "depression is caused by a chemical unbalance which we totally understand and can treat in you using these drugs which are definitely safe and well studied, especially in combination"
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Apr 18, 2023 18:30
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My friend was sponsored by like 3 skateboard companies at the same time because he was so good at skateboarding and they all totally gave him new decks every week but he can't take them to school he can only use them in competitions and also he can't do any tricks outside of competitions because what if he hurt himself and they would sue him
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Apr 18, 2023 18:30
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“I love you”
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Apr 18, 2023 18:33
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"You should feel bad for questioning my commitment and trust". It turned out these were actually legitimate questions.
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Apr 18, 2023 18:35
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In freshmen year of college I sat next to a guy in my german class who told the professor his hands were registered as deadly weapons. It was my first experience that made me realize that college was not necessarily for smart people.
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Apr 18, 2023 18:37
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i need money for my bad back and website costs and definitely not for a sports car, pills, and mail order cookies
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Apr 18, 2023 18:40
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drink milk or you'll get sore fingers cross your eyes and they might get stuck that way pull the chair out from someone who's sitting down and they may hurt their spinal cord and go blind birds will abandon their eggs if you go near them the many, many lies we were told about sex as adolescent teenagers in America same but for drugs
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Apr 18, 2023 18:40
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Mormonism.
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Apr 18, 2023 18:50
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William Henry Hairytaint posted:drink milk or you'll get sore fingers 
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Apr 18, 2023 18:57
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when you learned in school that your tongue has different areas that each taste some different element of flavor that is FALSE!!! FALSE!!! FALSE!!
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Apr 18, 2023 19:02
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Mozi posted:when you learned in school that your tongue has different areas that each taste some different element of flavor that is FALSE!!! FALSE!!! FALSE!! I mean if we're talking not strictly stories and just trivia that's bullshit, theres a lot of poo poo we were told that is wrong: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_common_misconceptions
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Apr 18, 2023 19:10
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:“I love you” Oh I feel that. 
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Apr 18, 2023 19:13
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PureEvil6_13 posted:Had a neighbor once that was always full of poo poo. One time he told me about how he was riding a 4-wheeler and did himself a mischief and rolled it. . .37 times. He even said he counted. Helen hunt was delightful in twister. You told an absolute BULLSHIT story
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Apr 18, 2023 19:21
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playing video games rots your brain
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Apr 18, 2023 19:27
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“You’ll get pink eye watching a dog taking a poo poo.” This is a serious thing I’ve been told before.
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Apr 18, 2023 19:55
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You Are A Elf posted:“You’ll get pink eye watching a dog taking a poo poo.” I mean, if you touch the poo poo and then rub it in your eye
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Apr 18, 2023 19:57
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"respect is mutual"
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Apr 18, 2023 20:00
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Peggy Edson posted:I mean, if you touch the poo poo and then rub it in your eye True, but this is even if you so much as see a dog taking a poo poo. I think it’s an old Mexican warning or something.
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Apr 18, 2023 20:00
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"We shall overcome because the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice."
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Apr 18, 2023 20:04
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I had an 8th grade biology teacher tell my class that you can cross a cat with a rabbit, you'd get a "cabbit". He said he had a student bring one in and it hopped around in the classroom. So many layers of bullshit on that one. Not even a misconception, dude flat out lied about something he should have known.
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Apr 18, 2023 20:07
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Jabberlock posted:I mean if we're talking not strictly stories and just trivia that's bullshit, theres a lot of poo poo we were told that is wrong: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_common_misconceptions wasted an hour at work reading thjis 
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Apr 18, 2023 20:09
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You Are A Elf posted:“You’ll get pink eye watching a dog taking a poo poo.” I always heard it as "you'll get pink eye watching two dogs loving"
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Apr 18, 2023 20:13
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My first grade teacher was adamant that flying fish didn’t exist and wouldn’t believe me when I tried to tell her she was wrong. Destroyed my faith in general authority at like six years old (which was actually a gift, but y’know). I tried to poo poo in her waste basket after school but I couldn’t get one out in time. Sucks man.
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Apr 18, 2023 20:17
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"Awesome, November 21st sounds like a great wedding date for us! I love you so much we will be together forever" - College girlfriend that did not marry me
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Apr 18, 2023 20:31
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| # ? May 11, 2024 05:58 |
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You don't need to rake your leaves, they will dissolve under the snow and be gone in springtime
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Apr 18, 2023 20:32
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