google THIS posted:

"Um, Samantha?"

The girl senses my presence. Slowly she stirs in her cloud of noxious gas, slimy tentacles reaching out, questing, tasting the air. With a squelching sound, the mostly decomposed foot of her last victim is finally sucked into a vague fissure in her side. Her innumerable eyes blink and shift with no apparent focus or pattern, yet I get the strange sense that her attention is directed toward me.

"Uh, y-you know how prom is coming up soon? I-I was wondering if..."

Three mouths open, showing row upon row of jagged gore-encrusted teeth, and they let out an unworldly screech that sets my hair on end and threatens to steal my very sanity. Amidst the gibbering I can just barely make out a few human words.

"Iiiii hhhhhaaaaavvveee a boooooyyyyfffffrrriennnnndd!"

"Aw, shucks," I say.

Viginti Septem posted:

When they say they are interested. NOW WHAT!?

free Trapt CD posted:

the scariest part of asking out a girl is that I'm a 96-year-old in an old folks' home and I don't know where I am.

Escape From Noise posted:

Buttchocks posted:

the scariest part is knowing that it fractures your soul, leaving you immortal, but at such a dire cost.

Escape From Noise posted:

Sorry. You probably already have a terminal case of butt cooties.