|
if I don't cum every day that low health noise from zelda starts playing
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2023 16:02
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 11, 2024 12:49 |
|
|
You think I can control this beast?! Mind of its own I tell ya!
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2023 16:05
|
|
|
Sorry I was hungry 
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2023 20:02
|
|
|
I tripped it got stuck
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2023 20:17
|
|
|
I was doing pushups...... on the seat of a chair.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2023 21:07
|
|
|
Its not like i can just cum soft and at will
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2023 23:25
|
|
|
I've been crying throughout it. I got a phone call announcing they were police and I would be arrested if I didn't do it while on the phone with them.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2023 23:52
|
|
|
I'm certified to operate this foreskin
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 00:05
|
|
|
Thank god you're here! Quick! Hold onto this for me for a moment will you? OK! Back in a minute. *runs out of the room
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 00:08
|
|
|
I’m a Ghostbuster and this is the neutrona wand (*points to penis*) to my proton pack (*points to balls*). I was rubbing it vigorously to generate the particle beam.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 01:04
|
|
|
And how can this be? For I am the kwisatz haderach
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 01:20
|
|
|
You Are A Elf posted:I’m a Ghostbuster and this is the neutrona wand (*points to penis*) to my proton pack (*points to balls*). I was rubbing it vigorously to generate the particle beam. Wanna cross the streams? 
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 01:21
|
|
|
Satan had inflicted me with penis demons and I was trying to exorcise them. This is God's will.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 01:27
|
|
|
Wanking? Oh no no no. My dear you misunderstand completely. I was simply arraigning this beautiful.. *poof* bouquet of flowers! Happy Anniversary!
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 01:29
|
|
|
Oh! I'm wanking ova here! Watch out for my gabagool! Oh!
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 01:39
|
|
|
BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Wanna cross the streams? Let’s say this penis represents all of the psychojizznetic energy in your wank room area. According to this morning’s sample, it’ll be a penis… 35 feet long and weighing approximately 600 lbs.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 01:55
|
|
|
I was actually moving the entire planet up and down. My hand was stationary.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 05:07
|
|
|
its not mine
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 05:19
|
|
|
So which one of you was this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6abr4RsUCU
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 07:03
|
|
|
BigBadSteve posted:"Oh, sorry, Mom, the doctor told me I've got cancer of the knob and I've got to get the pus out." But how do you respond when she says "Well what’s, what’s it doing all over Dad’s picture?”
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 10:37
|
|
|
well these crystals aren't gonna charge themselves
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 11:53
|
|
|
You told me to. Just before you came in, a future you appeared and told me that I had the future Hitler in my balls right now. And to save the future I had to get that fucker right out so he can't kill any more Jews.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 12:09
|
|
|
I just cleaned off all this keyboard goop, how else am I supposed to eat it?
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 12:12
|
|
|
You wouldn't be upset if I were rubbing my elbows. Grow up.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 14:28
|
|
|
Legit tho, how do you "get caught" masturbating? That's like getting caught taking a piss. It's a thing people do. And much like if someone walked in on me peeing I would be less concerned about whether they were offended and how to "excuse myself" and more asking questions like "what the gently caress?"
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 14:41
|
|
|
Sometimes people take a piss or masturbate in a public area like a shopping mall or a school and that's not good
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 15:03
|
|
|
syntaxfunction posted:Legit tho, how do you "get caught" masturbating? That's like getting caught taking a piss. It's a thing people do. In your case it's more how than why.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 16:27
|
|
|
Mr.Acula posted:So which one of you was this? Looks like someone’s been hitting too many of the Nanaimo bars 
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 16:33
|
|
|
I was doing foam roller stretches... with a softball... on my dick for some reason.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 20:11
|
|
|
I was just checking to see if the pie was still warm
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 21:35
|
|
|
Mr.Acula posted:So which one of you was this?
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 21:36
|
|
|
it was
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 21:38
|
|
|
syntaxfunction posted:Legit tho, how do you "get caught" masturbating? That's like getting caught taking a piss. It's a thing people do. If you do it right, they'll be the ones going "what the gently caress?!"
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 21:41
|
|
|
Just let out a plaintive wail and don’t stop until they leave.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2023 21:42
|
|
|
Hump their leg.
|
|
#
?
May 1, 2023 07:13
|
|
|
i felt horny and had slightly sensitive/sore balls so felt i had to ‘get rid of it’ to go on with my day clear headed
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2023 04:20
|
|
|
I can wash my dick as fast as I want to
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2023 05:34
|
|
|
wash a dick, unicycle boy
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2023 06:06
|
|
|
Sorry chum I'm British, wanking in public is perfectly normal in my country
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2023 14:38
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 11, 2024 12:49 |
|
|
its a simple calibration is all
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2023 14:57
|
|
