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"That is the opposite of good technique"
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Jun 15, 2023 17:37
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It is impossible to argue with the results, though.
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Jun 15, 2023 19:32
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Saw this relevant meme
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Jun 16, 2023 06:05
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Pb and Jellyfish posted:So this is regarding a couple of ground punches on Curtis Blaydes who was already out: Absolutely amazing, thank you.
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Jun 16, 2023 07:35
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Mr. Nice! posted:Definitely top tier for guys >300lbs. There aren’t a lot of people in that weight class that are worth a drat, though. it's a sad fight to watch too. If I counted right Gunn got off 4 punches, none of which landed to any effect before Butterbean stopped throwing body shots and put him on his rear end. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9fmrvYXgtY Liquid Communism fucked around with this message at 07:54 on Jun 16, 2023 |
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Jun 16, 2023 07:49
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Liquid Communism posted:it's a sad fight to watch too. If I counted right Gunn got off 4 punches, none of which landed to any effect before Butterbean stopped throwing body shots and put him on his rear end. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9fmrvYXgtY Don't feel too bad, legit knocking out Steve Williams got him a decent run in Japan.
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Jun 16, 2023 10:38
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  Butterbean, the Toughman Abbott, has been eliminated. We'll be rolling right into the semifinal round this afternoon.
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Jun 16, 2023 10:53
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iirc butterbean was willing to do a "worked" fight and either the gunn guy or the wwf said "no, do it for real" and that was the result. what a terrible idea executed terribly
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Jun 16, 2023 16:02
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Eat This Glob posted:iirc butterbean was willing to do a "worked" fight and either the gunn guy or the wwf said "no, do it for real" and that was the result. what a terrible idea executed terribly Vince was the one that told him not to put Gunn over because he was pissed at Gunn for beating Bradshaw. Vince was trying to promote Bradshaw, and he was his desired champion. Gunn’s reward for winning the non-rigged tourney was to fight Butterbean.
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Jun 16, 2023 19:20
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jesus christ. not even worthy of a footnote in vince's Big Book of Crimes, but goddamn he's a real turd of a person
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Jun 16, 2023 19:58
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Mr. Nice! posted:Vince was the one that told him not to put Gunn over because he was pissed at Gunn for beating Bradshaw. Vince was trying to promote Bradshaw, and he was his desired champion. Gunn’s reward for winning the non-rigged tourney was to fight Butterbean. Close, he beat Dr. Death and pissed off the brass. Russo booked the tournament partially to see Bradshaw get his rear end kicked
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Jun 16, 2023 20:00
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Big Coffin Hunter posted:Close, he beat Dr. Death and pissed off the brass. Russo booked the tournament partially to see Bradshaw get his rear end kicked Thank you for the correction.
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Jun 16, 2023 20:03
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 DERRICK LEWIS vs JIMMY AMBRIZ IN THE RED CORNER:  DERRICK "THE BLACK BEAST" LEWIS 6'3" / 265 lbs Active at 26-11 (1) Winning ratio: 68% Victory method ratio: 81% KO, 4% SUB, 15% DEC Won and defended the Legacy FC heavyweight championship, unsuccessfully challenged for the UFC heavyweight championship twice Best win: Francis Ngannou Worst loss: Matt Mitrione Record against other Abbotts: Beat Roy Nelson, lost to Tai Tuivasa and Mark Hunt Derrick Lewis faced arguably the greatest pop culture phenomenon in the tournament in the quarterfinals, and try as he might, Butterbean was ultimately too rooted in boxing and fell to The Black Beast, 70% to 30%. Eric Esch retired to a farm upstate where he can pretend to be a sheriff and assault Johnny Knoxville in department stores. With the elimination of top seeds Mark Hunt and, well, Butterbean, Derrick Lewis is the man left carrying the banner as the biggest non-Tank favorite in the bracket. The strength of his showing against Butterbean gives him a lot of momentum coming into this fight, but that also means Lewis has to go multiple rounds back to back. Is his cardio up to the task, or will his perpetual back issues come back to haunt him? IN THE BLUE CORNER:  JIMMY AMBRIZ 6'0" / 286 lbs Retired at 17-21-1 Winning ratio: 44% Victory method ratio: 65% KO, 29% SUB, 6% DEC King of the Cage super heavyweight champion, International Sport Combat Federation champion Best win: Rich Hale Worst loss: Pawel Nastula Record against other Abbotts: Beat Johnathan Ivey, loss to Alexandru Lungu The Cinderella story of Jimmy Ambriz could not be stopped. After defeating Tai Tuivasa in the first round Ambriz was faced with the considerable mass of Alexandru Lungu in the quarterfinal round, and he felled the giant Romanian judo brawler by a massive 83% blowout of a vote. The world loves Jimmy and his 1990s Tony Kanal hair spikes. And now, in the semifinals, Jimmy Ambriz has what he wanted. The Titan walks among titans, but that means he will have to do in fantasy what he so rarely did in reality: Defeat a good heavyweight. Will this be the moment Jimmy Ambriz puts it all together and scores the biggest knockout of his career? Or does the biggest underdog run of the tournament come to an end here, just inches from the final?  There are no punches left to pull here in the semifinals. The greatest remaining force in the tournament has to battle its most surprising success story, and only one can survive. Derrick Lewis came out of his last vote with a plurality of voices naming him the heir apparent to the Tank title, and it's not hard to see why. He's the big, chubby brawler with a wrestling game in his pocket, he has the biggest fanbase and the hardest knockouts, jiu-jitsu has no hold on his ability to simply decide to stand up. The RNG divided Lewis and Tank himself into different fights because it, clearly, has its idea about what the final should be. And it would be dishonest to say Lewis isn't the very clear favorite in this match. While his level of success is still right on the razor's edge of acceptability, a swath of the voters already have him in the finalist. Is there an argument to be made for Jimmy Ambriz? It's a tough one. I can't tell you Derrick Lewis isn't a better brawler than Jimmy Ambriz. I obviously cannot tell you Jimmy Ambriz ever got far enough to fight in the UFC, let alone for a UFC championship, or that he set a new standard for brawling the way Derrick did. But I can tell you that he fought in one-day tournaments like Tank did, and Derrick did not. I can tell you that Jimmy Ambriz took his fighting across the globe through multiple major organizations like Tank did, and Derrick did not. I can tell you that, just like Tank, Jimmy Ambriz was dusted by every quality heavyweight he ever fought and, like Tank, he was repeatedly humiliated by middleweights despite theoretically being able to compact their skulls with his bare hands, while Derrick Lewis has spent almost his whole career fighting and beating some of the best heavyweights on the planet. And I can tell you that this is, to some extent, a battle of who Tank Abbott was in theory vs who Tank Abbott is in practice. In theory--in the theory driving this tournament--Tank Abbott is an avatar of brawling violence, a rough-and-tumble punching machine who wants to batter men in the face until they can't move anymore. Derrick Lewis is the most prolific knockout artist in UFC heavyweight history and every one of those knockouts came from his fists. The analogue is impossible to ignore. But that's theory. In reality? Tank Abbott's finishing ratios were 70% knockouts, 20% submissions and 10% decisions--which is a whole lot closer to Jimmy Ambriz. In reality, Tank Abbott was more likely to take people down and pound them out than knock them out standing--which is the Jimmy Ambriz fighting style. In reality, Derrick Lewis is more dedicated to punching than Tank Abbott could have hoped to be, and Jimmy Ambriz is much closer to how Tank Abbott actually fought. And that's the real reason these two are fighting. This isn't so much a bout between two semi-famous brawlers as it is a philosophical statement about the purpose of this tournament. Is the Tank Abbott Tournament about finding the fighter most like the Tank Abbott who existed? Or is it about finding the fighter who most makes us feel the way Tank Abbott made us feel? Are we chasing a replica or a memory? What makes a Tank Abbott 2.0?  CAST YOUR VOTE
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Jun 16, 2023 22:27
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For me, the core of Tank Abbott is the violence. Tank’s the guy who joined this hardcore minimum rules almost anything goes fighting tournament and made them go “Jesus. What the gently caress. Ok, maybe a few more rules.” So here I have to vote for Lewis. His ability to just stand up out of wrestling to get back to punching may not have been what Tank actually did, but it is what Tank would have done if he were capable of it. This dedication to punching violence is at the heart of Tank Abbottdom, imo.
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Jun 16, 2023 22:49
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Voted Jimmy, ultimately Lewis is probably too good!?
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Jun 16, 2023 22:52
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i went to vote, and it said VPN voting is not allowed. i guess there's no stealing this election like i did the 2020 presidential one!
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Jun 16, 2023 23:00
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Eat This Glob posted:i went to vote, and it said VPN voting is not allowed. i guess there's no stealing this election like i did the 2020 presidential one! fixed this, so if anyone wants to ballot stuff I guess now's the time
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Jun 16, 2023 23:05
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I'm leaning Ambriz rn because he's just a bit more of a weirdo.
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Jun 16, 2023 23:09
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Always root for the underdog; voted Ambriz.
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Jun 16, 2023 23:39
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Mr. Nice! posted:Vince was the one that told him not to put Gunn over because he was pissed at Gunn for beating Bradshaw. Vince was trying to promote Bradshaw, and he was his desired champion. Gunn’s reward for winning the non-rigged tourney was to fight Butterbean. steve williams but yeah
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Jun 17, 2023 00:24
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Carl that's an excellent write-up on tank theory. I love the philosophical side of this tournament. Initially I thought hunt and Lewis were the only possible challengers but you've made a compelling argument for ambriz and the answer to the question "what is a tank?" being more than just a miserable little pile of punches
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Jun 17, 2023 02:19
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Tank wishes he could just stand back up and get back to punching. edit: Ambirz may be closer to a traditional Tank but Lewis is the evolution of Tank, I guess the only question is if Lewis is too good to be the true Tank.
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Jun 17, 2023 02:29
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i don't know if this is more tank or less tank to have done this, but lewis drove around houston in his very large and lifted pick-up truck during flooding following a hurricane. so he kind of drives around in a tank, doing good deeds, so i thought id mention it
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Jun 17, 2023 02:34
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Beautiful write-up, Carl, you almost convinced me that Ambriz maybe kinda has a shot.... but I voted for Lewis! Agree with the other poster that the consideration of the philosophy both behind what it means to BE Tank Abbott, and the purpose of this tournament, makes for really fascinating reading. But Lewis can Just Stand Up, so v  v
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Jun 17, 2023 03:05
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I'm going with Ambriz because he fights like Tank and is actually bad. Does Phil Baroni belong in the tournament?
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Jun 17, 2023 04:04
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This was by far the hardest vote so far.
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Jun 17, 2023 09:08
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Jimmy looks like those guys who pump synthol into their muscles, but like he also used it on his stomach and face. As to philosophy, when Japanese kamikaze pilots prepared to sacrifice themselves on the altar of war, it was the legend of Tank Abbott they brought to mind. The concept of his violence and determination (to do something stupid) was what they remembered. They specifically trained themselves to mentally ignore his cowardly moments of playing it safe against better fighters, to the point that if you had asked them they would be baffled, assuring you such fights had never happened. As they watched highlights of his fights before their final mission, there would be no mentions of "decisions" nor "stalling", only glorious moments of killing and being killed. Tank Abbott was not the first Tank, and is clearly not the last. Tank exists in the human consciousness, and Mr. Abbott was merely its avatar. Vote how your heart tells you, but Tank was always an idea, and never a man.
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Jun 17, 2023 12:20
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Tank Sinatra Knocked Him Cold
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Jun 17, 2023 14:41
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The question of whether we're voting for who Tank is in theory vs in reality would be a more interesting one if Tank Abbott wasn't in the tournament IMO.
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Jun 17, 2023 20:17
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Au contraire, I look forward to the matchup of the real Tank vs the hypothetical Tank in the finals. (The real Tank should win. The most satisfying outcome to a whole big tournament)
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Jun 17, 2023 23:28
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Will the real tank abbot please stand up
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Jun 18, 2023 06:46
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  Jimmy Ambriz, the No Doubt Abbott, has been eliminated. The last semifinal begins later today.
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Jun 18, 2023 11:06
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 TANK ABBOTT vs WESLEY "CABBAGE" CORREIRA IN THE RED CORNER:  DAVID "TANK" ABBOTT 6'0" / 250 lbs Retired at 10-15 Winning ratio: 40% Victory method ratio: 70% KO, 20% SUB, 10% DEC Unsuccessfully fought for the UFC Heavyweight Championship and the King of the Cage Superfight Championship, held a knife to a man's throat on a WCW pay-per-view Best win: Paul Varelans Worst loss: Ruben Villareal Record against other Abbotts: Both won and lost against Wesley Correira After an aggressively easy first round, Tank Abbott faced a stiff challenge in the quarterfinals by way of Mark Hunt, one of the few considered a true challenger to the throne. After a close, contentious vote, Original Recipe beat Extra Crispy: Tank beat Hunt with 53% of the ballot, a margin of just three votes. Tank Abbott is now one fight away from reaching the finals of the tournament that bears his name, but he's not entitled to a berth on name alone. This tournament has called into question his style, his character and even his literary career. He has to defend all of them at once to justify his place in the final round. Will Walter Foxx win his way to the title? Or will Tank Abbott do what he always does in championship situations and choke? IN THE BLUE CORNER:  WESLEY "CABBAGE" CORREIRA 6'3" / 253 lbs Retired at 21-16 Winning ratio: 57% Victory method ratio: 80% KO, 10% SUB, 5% DEC, 5% DQ Icon Sport heavyweight champion, Superbrawl 24 quarterfinalist Best win: Travis Wiuff Worst loss: Kazuhiro Hamanaka Record against other Abbotts: Beat Tank Abbott, Lost to Tank Abbott, Beat Butterbean in kickboxing They man they call Cabbage had one of the easiest paths through to the semifinal round, facing the gutsy but ultimately underqualified Henry "Sentoryu" Miller and crushing him by 79%. Correira has proven to be one of the tournament's more pleasant surprises--a fondly remembered heavyweight brawler who never got the big one, but left an impression on his fans. But that impression centered around his ability to endure massive amounts of punishment without seeming to care, and boy, that's a tough trait to have when you're fighting Tank Abbott. Wesley Correira's career lived and died based on his ability to punch through the raindrops in a torrent. Will he be able to do it one more time, with a spot in the championship final on the line? Or will this be one of the many, many times a more responsible corner should have thrown in the towel for him? This is an incredibly appropriate semifinal match. Not only have both men proven to be deserving competitors, but this is, in fact, a rubber match. Cabbage and Tank did battle twice: Once all the way back at UFC 45 in 2003, where Cabbage broke Tank's face open with knees and doctors stopped the fight after Tank confirmed he could no longer see, and once in the main event of Hawaii's Rumble on the Rock 7 in 2005, where Tank exacted a measure of revenge by knocking Cabbage on his rear end with a pair of big right hands in a minute and a half. To some extent, we have to call this one honestly: It's a massive uphill battle for Cabbage. This is the Tank Abbott Tournament and he is fighting Tank Abbott in the semifinal. It was a coinflip in real life and it's an even harder task on the internet, the only real place left on Earth. To figure out if he has a shot, we have to talk about who he was. Despite being a far more successful knockout artist, Cabbage wasn't a blitzer. He lived and died in exchanges, which is how he was able to, say, tank some hits from Tank, bully his way to the inside and land enough strikes in the clinch to break him. He walked eagerly and hungrily into hundreds of strikes from fighters like Andrei Arlovski and Tim Sylvia and Bigfoot Silva just to shove a cross through their combo or swing an overhand when they stopped to breathe. Cabbage's sheer disregard for his own health WAS his secret weapon. And it is, in his way, the one true argument he has for consideration as a Tank Abbott over Tank Abbott himself. Tank Abbott was a wrecking ball. He wanted to punch you, he wanted to trip you, he wanted to do whatever was necessary to ensure he could hurt you and you were incapable of hurting him back. He loved hurting people. But he hated getting hurt. When you go back and watch Tank fight people who could actually beat him--the Vitor Belforts and Maurice Smiths of the world--Tank's reactions to getting hit run a gamut from an exasperated 'aw, c'mon, stop doing that' when Mo starts kicking him in the leg to an 'I am in actual danger' look of concern when Vitor starts punching him in the head. His sense of self-preservation is quite visibly there. Cabbage never had that. He was the nail, not the hammer. Whether he was born without it or it sloughed off during his development as a fighter, who knows, but the product was the kind of brawling elemental who would get punched in the jaw by a 265-pound heavyweight champion and smile. In that aforementioned Bigfoot fight, despite battling a man who would go on to knock fighters like Fedor and Alistair Overeem with nothing but his hands, Correira's sheer unwillingness to stop moving forward despite getting repeatedly cracked in the mouth by one of the sport's scariest punchers meant Silva--a 6'4" former superheavyweight champion--had to pull out a flying goddamn knee to stop him. And it didn't actually knock him out. It just made him stumble enough to fall over. Tank Abbott is the far more directional arbiter of violence. To some extent, the Cabbage defense here is that he was very, very good at getting the poo poo kicked out of him, where Tank was the one kicking the poo poo out of people. In a battle of who was more likely to destroy their opponent, Tank wins in a walk--much like he did in their second fight. He was still a sledgehammer of a human being who would either break an opponent in seconds or become wholly useless in minutes. If you were getting punched by Tank Abbott, you were never having a good day. Wesley Correira believed in the two-way road of violence. He truly, unequivocally loved every moment, from butchering men with punches and kicks to eating punches and waiting for his moment to strike. Like Tank, he lost almost half of his fights, and like Tank, he was beaten by almost every good heavyweight he fought, but unlike Tank, he never backed down from an opponent's offense. He relished every second, even when those seconds came in the form of a mortgage he was taking out from the CTE-ridden end of his own life. Does Tank Abbott continue to the finals by virtue of being Tank Abbott and thus the proper expression of his own violence custom? Or, even without his hard-punching expertise, does Cabbage win for being so in love with violence that he would take it upon his own person? CAST YOUR VOTE
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Jun 18, 2023 21:26
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CarlCX posted:It was a coinflip in real life and it's an even harder task on the internet, the only real place left on Earth. excuse me? 
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Jun 18, 2023 21:48
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i think the clarifying point is made. a tank likes fighting, but a tank does not like it when their opponent fights back
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Jun 19, 2023 00:11
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But does a tank not weather flurries of rapid fire by design, so that it might be in position to deal the deathblow?
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Jun 19, 2023 05:37
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Yeah, but the ideal Tank is very angry about having to sit through that, because being punched is time when he's not punching someone else.
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Jun 19, 2023 10:39
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Liquid Communism posted:Yeah, but the ideal Tank is very angry about having to sit through that, because being punched is time when he's not punching someone else. Which is why Derrick Lewis will win in the end, he simply just stands up while being grappled on the ground so he can get back to punching.
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Jun 19, 2023 10:49
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With hunt out it's got to be lewis
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Jun 19, 2023 11:22
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| # ? May 16, 2024 01:32 |
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You guys do a lot of talking about Tank 2.0 and who's your favorites to win or whatev. But this ain't the search for the Next Top Tank Abbott Tournament. It's the fuckin Tank Abbott Tournament. It's not some kind of goddamn honor. With that said, I voted Cabbage. Ok I couldn't even type that with a straight face. Tank for the win. AndyElusive fucked around with this message at 16:01 on Jun 19, 2023 |
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Jun 19, 2023 15:57
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