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Definitely feel like Tai's wins are holding him back here, but at the same time he hasn't been around long enough. There's no question in my mind that he's only gonna get Tankier as the years go by, and he'll definitely get both more, and funnier losses. Batting less than .500 is a pretty major feather in Jimmy's cap here too, although having multiple submissions might balance that out (unless those submissions are "press fat guy stomach against grounded opponent until tap"). Being above the weight limit to compete in most heavyweight divisions is also very powerful. Tough call here, but my heart tells me to go with the bloated, roided but still hefty, bleached haired beauty that is Jimmy.
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May 21, 2023 20:53
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Before I forget huge thanks to Carl for starting this thread, learning about these powering punching meat clowns is exactly the boost in spirits I needed right now. I laughed so hard when you first posted about the Tank Abbott curse and I can't wait to find out about the careers and highlights of these beauties.
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May 22, 2023 20:55
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Well I was all team Miller until I heardCarlCX posted:he had a youtube channel but it was mostly reviews of horror movies and the occasional mukbang and hasn't been updated in several years. But I think the large number of subs hurts him, and honestly sumo is not only the best sport, but thinking it will transfer well to professional beat-a-guy-to-death sport is an excellent mindset.
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May 24, 2023 20:30
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I think what ultimately pushes me to vote Tank over Dada is the love of violence Tank displayed. Sure, Dada threw big dumb hooks, but possibly more because he had no idea at all what to do than because he lusted for destruction. Tank was a big, mean, angry dude who loved to smash people. The Dada story will always have a place in my heart though, if for no other reason than that he still managed to be half of the worst fight Kimbo ever had, despite being up against Houston Alexander, a fight I watched the entirety of back in the day for some reason.
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May 25, 2023 21:43
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Not sure how I feel about how to weigh this, but Barnett being a (seemingly, don't tell me about his twitter if it's bad) really nice, funny guy gives me the feeling he shouldn't win. On the flipside, doing a takedown with G&P in a kickboxing match is incredible, deeply Tanky, and funny as poo poo.
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May 27, 2023 22:29
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While there are a few things working against Hunt, such as his skills and Christianity, his penchant for losing despite being a total badass is Tank to the core. The fact that he chose to fight out his contract, even though no one wanted him to, and actually won enough to stick around is one of my favourite MMA storylines. Smashing the jaw of a 7 foot tall Stefan Struve, with the matching x-ray, was probably my personal favourite moment of his.
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Jun 2, 2023 21:47
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My heart told me to vote cabbage. Reasons, as far as my emotions can tell me: looks like a cabbage, really exceptional victories and defeats, especially over the OG Tank. Rising above the mediocrity your body and skills provide by dumb luck, toughness, and, most importantly, defeating lovely opponents are all very important Tank aspects to me. His lack of anger will probably keep him from winning this tournament, but I think he takes it over Miller.
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Jun 8, 2023 19:18
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Pretty tough call on this one, at first I was thinking that Hunt's Christianity works against him, but honestly these days it's such a brain damaged version that sees no dissonance with horrendous acts of violence. His tweets with no periods, commas, or discernable sentence structure feels like the kind of thing Tank would have posted had he been able. Another factor is whether Hunt exploited his fame the way Tank attempted to. I don't know if we've discussed this yet, and maybe it isn't a valid factor, but did Tank really push and try hard to get on Friends and in the WWE, or did they approach him? Is milking your small modicum of fame a relevant issue in the Tank tournament?
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Jun 11, 2023 22:57
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Just missed the voting, but was going Jimmy anyway. Being stupid enough to take on decent fighters while being that untalented is exactly what I'm looking for
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Jun 14, 2023 17:24
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For me, Derrick is the true successor to Tank. Yes he was in the top ten at heavyweight, but try to remember that this is heavyweight, aka trashweight. Is he too successful? I don't think so, especially because I think we're now seeing the wall he's hitting by fighting more skilled opponents. He loves to punch no matter what, just stands up when people try to do cowardly ju jitsu on him, and beat up a guy who was trying to steal his car and blamed Herb Dean. Yes, Butterbean is very Tanky, but he was also Tanky at the same time and in the same era as Tank himself. He couldn't out Tank the man himself because he was in such a similar situation/time. Derrick is what you get when you put a Tank in the modern era.
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Jun 14, 2023 21:29
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Jerusalem posted:I already voted for Lewis, but please tell me this story! So this is regarding a couple of ground punches on Curtis Blaydes who was already out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlsSaZxuCMo "Herb Dean's fault" became kind of a meme after that, being used to excuse any and all behaviour regardless of context. Then this happened: https://www.mmafighting.com/2021/5/18/22442406/video-derrick-lewis-claims-to-have-stopped-alleged-car-thief-shows-off-bruised-knuckles And when Derrick tweeted about it (or instagramed or whatever) he included the hashtag herbdeanfault
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Jun 15, 2023 10:05
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Jimmy looks like those guys who pump synthol into their muscles, but like he also used it on his stomach and face. As to philosophy, when Japanese kamikaze pilots prepared to sacrifice themselves on the altar of war, it was the legend of Tank Abbott they brought to mind. The concept of his violence and determination (to do something stupid) was what they remembered. They specifically trained themselves to mentally ignore his cowardly moments of playing it safe against better fighters, to the point that if you had asked them they would be baffled, assuring you such fights had never happened. As they watched highlights of his fights before their final mission, there would be no mentions of "decisions" nor "stalling", only glorious moments of killing and being killed. Tank Abbott was not the first Tank, and is clearly not the last. Tank exists in the human consciousness, and Mr. Abbott was merely its avatar. Vote how your heart tells you, but Tank was always an idea, and never a man.
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Jun 17, 2023 12:20
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Beeswax posted:I will vote for Tank Abbot in the Tank Abbot tournament. Every time. No exceptions. Sorry, but nothing would be more Tank Abbott than Tank Abbott coming in second in the "who is the most Tank Abbott" tournament.
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Jun 21, 2023 03:13
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Derrick Lewis, who defied the laws of physics (ju jitsu) to return to brawling, who looked like a layman trying to understand quantum calculus when faced with Cyril Gane's approach of "throw strikes that aren't just punches", and who threw his cup into the crowd in the hopes that it become an NFT, is the true heir. Tank was a fantasy to fat, lovely, misogynistic assholes that they could beat true athletes, Derrick represents that fantasy to all people. He embodies the dream for everyone that if you are strong enough, determined enough, and fat enough, you too can achieve middling success on the world stage. He is the Tank 2.0, the better Tank, the Tank for the people, ALL the people. Where Derrick was baffled by skilled fighters, Tank was afraid of them. While Derrick admired female athletes, Tank feared that their success would taint his place in the world. Tank became mean because he could be, Derrick became tough because he had to be. Tank was always a bully, Derrick was always himself. Lewis all the way
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Jun 24, 2023 00:28
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C. Everett Koop posted:Are there any Tanks at the lower weight levels, or is there a certain "You Must Have This Much Mass" to properly qualify? I want to know if there's someone hanging around at Welterweight who really could cut down to like Fly but won't and insists on punching their way out of every problem. First person that comes to mind Kelvin Gastelum. He loves cheeseburgers too much to be a welterweight, he is really good at punching and being tough as hell, and he loses to the most talented guys.
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Jun 25, 2023 19:07
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Carl you are an awesome guy for making this happen. Thread came along at a tough time, so the daily laugh was appreciated. To Beeswax and the other Tank die hards, though we disagree I very much understand where you are coming from and respect your opinions. Great posting everyone, let's do dumb poo poo more often.
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Jun 27, 2023 22:18
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