i'm an over 50 ex-con new to the internet. teach me your ways

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > i'm an over 50 ex-con new to the internet. teach me your ways

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Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Konar posted:

i look forward to the day when we can get one of these threads where the goon isn't a violent murdering type, maybe some white collar inside trading type stuff would be palatable

Killing someone for molesting your sister should just be a verbal warning, maybe some community service. Calling someone a violent murderer for doing it, that should earn you some time.

# ¿ May 23, 2023 18:35

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 12:28

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Konar posted:

I'm mixing this guy with the other lovely thread and "violent murdery type" I think fits the bill for someone who took upon themselves to do a breaking bad dramatic rear end display like forcing someone to hang themsevles lol

The idea was almost certainly for it to look like suicide, not for dramatic effect. You understand that right?

# ¿ May 23, 2023 18:44

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

It's worth noting OP that people online are jerks 90% of the time, and they don't have anything better to do than to try and hurt your feelings so they can finally feel better than someone else.

It's not entirely dissimilar to real life but much harder to punch them in the face when they clearly deserve it, so they just keep it up forever or until they finally get the courage to kill themselves.

# ¿ May 23, 2023 18:49

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

I asked chatGPT to summarize internet culture by year. It did okay I guess.

a robot posted:

I see, you're interested in the cultural side of the internet. Here's a more culture-focused look at the internet over the past 30 years:

1. **1993** - The term "surfing the internet" is popularized.

2. **1994** - The first known internet meme, the "Dancing Baby," was created.

3. **1995** - The concept of Internet Forums begins to take hold with sites like The WELL.

4. **1996** - Flash animations become popular, leading to iconic series such as "Homestar Runner".

5. **1997** - The term "weblog" is coined by Jorn Barger, eventually shortened to "blog" in 1999.

6. **1998** - The earliest recorded use of "Rickrolling" on 4chan.

7. **1999** - "All your base are belong to us," a phrase from the game Zero Wing, becomes a popular internet meme.

8. **2000** - The website DeviantArt is launched, becoming a popular platform for artists to share their work online.

9. **2001** - The first Wikipedia edit is made, starting the online encyclopedia that would become a major part of internet culture.

10. **2002** - The term "webcomic" becomes popular, with sites like XKCD and The Oatmeal gaining a following.

11. **2003** - 4chan, an anonymous English-language imageboard, is launched, later becoming a major source of internet memes.

12. **2004** - World of Warcraft is released, popularizing MMORPG games.

13. **2005** - "Charlie Bit My Finger" video is uploaded to YouTube, becoming one of the most viewed videos on the platform.

14. **2006** - "LOLCats" and the associated language "LOLspeak" become an internet phenomenon.

15. **2007** - The term "selfie" becomes popularized due to the increase in social media usage.

16. **2008** - The "Anonymous" collective stages a global protest against Scientology, called Project Chanology.

17. **2009** - The "David After Dentist" video is uploaded to YouTube, quickly becoming a viral sensation.

18. **2010** - Instagram is launched, popularizing the trend of food photography and "Instagrammable" moments.

19. **2011** - Twitch.tv is launched, leading to the popularization of live streaming, particularly for gaming.

20. **2012** - The "Gangnam Style" music video by Psy becomes the first YouTube video to reach one billion views.

21. **2013** - The "Harlem Shake" meme goes viral, with thousands of groups recreating the dance.

22. **2014** - The "Ice Bucket Challenge" goes viral on social media, raising awareness for ALS.

23. **2015** - The "Distracted Boyfriend" meme becomes popular, leading to many variations.

24. **2016** - Pokémon Go is launched, leading to a massive rise in augmented reality mobile games.

25. **2017** - The "Dank Memes" culture rises in popularity.

26. **2018** - The "Tide Pod Challenge" goes viral, leading to widespread concern about dangerous internet challenges.

27. **2019** - The "Area 51 Raid" event is created on Facebook, demonstrating the power of internet jokes to drive real-world actions.

28. **2020** - The "Among Us" game becomes incredibly popular, partially due to the COVID-19 pandemic leading to an increase in online gaming.

# ¿ May 23, 2023 19:05

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

The robot says these things started here, at least in part.

a robot posted:

Something Awful has been a breeding ground for internet culture and memes. Here are a few examples that originated from the Something Awful Forums:

1. **Let's Play** - The format of "Let's Play" (LP) videos, where players record themselves playing video games while providing commentary, originated from the Something Awful forums. This format has become immensely popular on platforms like YouTube and Twitch.

2. **Photoshop Phriday** - This weekly event, where forum users are given a topic and then create humorous Photoshopped images based on that topic, has influenced the development of meme culture.

3. **Slender Man** - The creepy folklore of Slender Man, a tall, faceless, suited figure, was born from a Something Awful Photoshop contest. This mythos took the internet by storm and even led to video games, movies, and some real-world incidents.

4. **Creepypasta** - The term "creepypasta," which refers to short horror stories circulated on the internet, was popularized on Something Awful. While it didn't originate from the site, many iconic creepypastas first gained popularity there.

5. **FYAD Culture** - The gently caress You And Die (FYAD) subforum had a unique style of irreverent and absurdist humor that has influenced many other parts of the internet.

6. **Goons** - The term "Goons" was used to refer to Something Awful forum users, and this term has been adopted by other online communities as well.

7. **GoonSwarm** - In the MMORPG EVE Online, the GoonSwarm alliance, largely consisting of Something Awful users, has had a significant impact on the game's politics and economy.

8. **SCP Foundation** - While not strictly originating from Something Awful, the SCP Foundation, a fictional organization documented by a web-based collaborative writing project, was first shared and popularized on the Something Awful forums.

It's worth noting that while these cultural artifacts originated from Something Awful, they have since taken on lives of their own and have been further shaped and developed by other internet communities.

# ¿ May 23, 2023 19:15

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

chatGPT is an "AI" chat bot that you are going to hear about a lot. I think there is a thread about it here, and a thread about AI art generators that generate images based on text you provide.

quote:

Overall, ChatGPT is a sophisticated language model that aims to simulate human-like conversation and provide useful and informative responses to a wide range of queries and prompts.

https://chat.openai.com/

People generally either really like or really hate AI stuff right now.

# ¿ May 23, 2023 19:20

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Here are the AI threads I mentioned

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4000251

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4029140

# ¿ May 23, 2023 19:22

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

We also have 3D printers now, so that's pretty :krad:

.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksPJf0ykfH4

# ¿ May 23, 2023 19:35

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

harveys zoo zoos posted:

i don't really know what anime is but i just did a google for it and it doesnt look like my kind of thing haha

but that's pretty wild about jan 6

we had all sorts of those types of people inside especially near the end of my stay

my best friend inside was a black man named lamar. he took me under his wing almost immediately and kept me away from the aryan right wing bad guys and i became more aligned with his folks.

Oh, so you'll probably be looking for dragon ball super if you want to watch anime 😎

I kid but it's probably the most popular anime in black communities.

# ¿ May 23, 2023 19:37

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

I probably use discord more than anything else these days, it's kinda like a chatroom intended for gamers. But it's free and you don't have to play games, my friends are all in a server together and we just hangout and chat in real time. Pretty much every online community has a discord server these days you can join, even SA. Literally any niche interest you can think of you can almost certainly find a discord server dedicated to it.

# ¿ May 23, 2023 19:55

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

harveys zoo zoos posted:

haha oh wow i have an avatar now

i dont get it but thank you whoever did it it is better than the old one thats for sure

https://theoffice.fandom.com/wiki/Prison_Mike#:~:text=Prison%20Mike%20is%20Michael%27s,fanciful%2C%20picture%20of%20prison%20life.

Hopefully you find this amusing, or at least not offensive. In my head it was funny.

Also you should watch the office.

https://youtu.be/a7RoP1LKMeM

# ¿ May 23, 2023 20:10

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Fighting Elegy posted:

What it like "hanging out" in prison? Is there any social life or recreation? You guys ever play video games in there?

By the way, the world kinda sucks at the moment. It's probably better than prison but everything is really expensive!

My brother (who is a monster) says they play DND in prison where he is (FL) a lot. They don't have video games where he is at least.

Hopefully he doesn't get out again.

# ¿ May 23, 2023 20:25

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

I asked chatGPT what I should know about if I've been in prison for 30 years

robot posted:

Welcome back to society! You have missed a lot of technological, social, and global developments over the past 30 years. Here are some major changes that might be useful for you:

**Technology:**

1. **The Internet and World Wide Web:** Although they existed in a primitive form 30 years ago, they have transformed incredibly. The internet is now a vital part of daily life. It's used for communication, work, shopping, news, entertainment, and more.

2. **Smartphones:** Mobile phones have evolved into small, handheld computers called smartphones, like the iPhone or Android phones. They offer a wide range of functions such as calling, texting, surfing the internet, playing games, watching videos, taking photos, and using various applications (or 'apps').

3. **Social Media:** Websites and apps like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, and LinkedIn have redefined social interaction, news, and entertainment. They allow you to connect with people worldwide, share thoughts, pictures, videos, and more.

4. **Streaming Services:** Services like Netflix, Amazon Prime, Disney+, and Spotify have revolutionized the way we consume media. You can now watch movies, TV shows, and listen to music on-demand from your devices.

5. **E-commerce:** Online shopping has become very common. You can buy almost anything online, from groceries to electronics, and have it delivered to your doorstep.

6. **Cryptocurrencies:** A new type of digital or virtual currency, the most well-known being Bitcoin. They use cryptography for security.

**Society and Culture:**

1. **LGBTQ+ Rights:** There has been significant progress in the rights and societal acceptance of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer individuals, including the legalization of same-sex marriage in many countries and advancements in transgender rights.

2. **Climate Change Awareness:** The environment and sustainability have become urgent global issues. There's greater focus on renewable energy, reducing waste, and making lifestyle changes to combat climate change.

3. **Diversity and Inclusion:** Society has been evolving towards more acceptance and celebration of diversity in terms of race, religion, gender, and culture.

4. **#MeToo Movement:** A social movement against sexual abuse and sexual harassment where people publicize allegations of sex crimes committed by powerful and/or influential individuals.

**Global Events:**

1. **COVID-19 Pandemic:** A global pandemic hit the world in 2019-2020, and its effects continue to be felt. COVID-19 has led to changes in how people work and interact.

2. **Political Changes:** There have been significant political events, including the election of Barack Obama as the first Black U.S president, Donald Trump's presidency, and Joe Biden's presidency.

This is a lot to take in all at once, so don't worry if it feels overwhelming. Most people are understanding and will help you adjust. Also, there are organizations specifically designed to help people transition back into society after a long period of incarceration. Be sure to seek them out in your local community.

Absolutely, here are more areas that have evolved considerably in the past 30 years:

**Technology:**

1. **Artificial Intelligence (AI) and Machine Learning:** Advances in computing have led to AI and Machine Learning becoming integral parts of our lives, with uses ranging from recommending what to watch next on a streaming service to autonomous vehicles.

2. **Cloud Computing:** This technology allows for storing and accessing data over the internet instead of your computer's hard drive, making digital information more accessible and less vulnerable to damage.

3. **Augmented Reality (AR) and Virtual Reality (VR):** These technologies blend digital components into our physical world or immerse us in a completely digital environment, respectively. They're used in games, training simulations, and even remote collaboration.

4. **Internet of Things (IoT):** Everyday objects now often have network connectivity, allowing them to send and receive data. This can include anything from household appliances to vehicles.

5. **Electric Vehicles and Self-driving Cars:** Electric vehicles, such as those made by Tesla, are becoming more prevalent as we shift away from fossil fuels. Self-driving, or autonomous, cars are also being developed and used in some areas.

**Society and Culture:**

1. **Mental Health Awareness:** There's been a significant shift in understanding and acknowledging mental health issues. The stigma around discussing mental health has lessened, and resources for support have increased.

2. **Legalization of Marijuana:** In many places, the law regarding marijuana has changed significantly. In numerous states in the U.S and in countries like Canada, marijuana use is legal for medical and recreational purposes.

3. **Changing Work Culture:** More people are working remotely, especially following the COVID-19 pandemic. The traditional 9-5 workday is becoming less standard, with more flexible working hours becoming common.

4. **Food Trends:** Plant-based and alternative diets have grown in popularity. Awareness of food allergies and intolerances has also increased.

**Global Events:**

1. **Climate Change:** This has become a major global concern. From the Paris Agreement to the increasing frequency of extreme weather events, it's an issue that's seen significant attention and change.

2. **Technological Disruptions:** Major companies have faced significant controversies and public scrutiny related to privacy concerns, spread of misinformation, and monopoly power, leading to calls for increased regulation.

3. **Brexit:** The United Kingdom voted to leave the European Union in 2016, causing significant political and economic changes.

4. **Space Exploration:** There have been major advancements in this field, with private companies like SpaceX launching rockets and planning for future manned missions to Mars.

Again, remember it's okay to take time to adjust and ask questions. Society in general has become much more fast-paced, largely due to the speed of information transfer on the internet. Try to be patient with yourself during this transition period.

Sure, here are some additional developments:

**Technology:**

1. **Voice-activated Assistants:** Siri (Apple), Alexa (Amazon), and Google Assistant use AI technology to respond to voice commands. They can answer questions, play music, set reminders, and control smart home devices.

2. **Biotechnology:** Advancements have allowed for things like gene editing (CRISPR), personalized medicine, and stem cell research.

3. **Mobile Payments and Digital Wallets:** More and more people are using their smartphones to make payments in stores and online through services like Apple Pay, Google Wallet, and PayPal.

4. **Blockchain Technology:** Beyond cryptocurrencies, blockchain is being used in areas like supply chain management, healthcare, and voting due to its secure, decentralized nature.

5. **5G Technology:** 5G is the newest generation for cellular networks and it greatly increases the speed and responsiveness of wireless networks.

**Society and Culture:**

1. **Rise of Influencer Culture:** Influencers are individuals who've gained a significant following, primarily on social media, and who have influence over their followers' purchasing decisions.

2. **Memes:** Internet memes – humorous images, videos, text that are copied and spread rapidly by internet users – have become a major part of online culture.

3. **Sustainable Living:** There's a growing trend toward living sustainably, including reducing waste, recycling and composting, and using renewable sources of energy.

4. **Fitness and Wellness Trends:** Yoga, meditation, and other wellness practices have become more mainstream. Wearable fitness technology, like Fitbit or Apple Watch, tracks health data and encourages activity.

**Global Events:**

1. **Rise of China:** China has become a significant global economic power, leading in areas such as technology, manufacturing, and finance.

2. **Global Refugee Crisis:** Ongoing conflicts and climate change have displaced a record number of people worldwide, leading to humanitarian and political challenges.

3. **Global Privacy Concerns:** The use of personal data and issues of privacy have become major concerns, highlighted by scandals such as the Facebook-Cambridge Analytica data scandal.

4. **Increasing Automation:** Robotics and AI have made it possible for more tasks to be automated, raising concerns about job loss and economic inequality, but also leading to new opportunities.

Remember, it's completely normal to feel overwhelmed with the pace of changes. Take your time to familiarize yourself with these changes, ask for help when needed, and don't rush the process. Your adaptation will occur gradually but surely.

# ¿ May 24, 2023 04:26

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

I imagine not getting into pointless arguments is a skill one hones to a metaphorical sharp edge in prison, so as to avoid very not metaphorical sharp edges.

# ¿ May 24, 2023 12:01

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Don't uh... Don't show him TCC

# ¿ May 24, 2023 16:11

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Don't listen to the haters, they are just going to hate because they live sad depressed lives. This is the best active thread on the forums right now imho.

# ¿ May 24, 2023 17:40

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

It would probably help if you used actual words instead of jargon you made up.

quote:

Op ru tryna cop an xjunk or nogamestation any time soon?

Cousin Todd fucked around with this message at 22:14 on May 24, 2023

# ¿ May 24, 2023 22:11

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

I SHOWED YOU MY PLUMBUS PLEASE RESPOND

# ¿ May 24, 2023 22:27

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

I bought the avatar and said so a few pages back fwiw

# ¿ May 25, 2023 02:57

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

If we could not intentionally misinform OP with lies because we are miserable bastards that would just be super.

# ¿ May 25, 2023 03:25

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Also Good Eats was a popular long running cooking edutainment show, it's very informative and amusing. Definitely worth a binge.

# ¿ May 25, 2023 11:11

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

harveys zoo zoos posted:

wow so that is something you all do here. that's very cool. i will look those up here

i don't know about one for me though. i owe society, society doesn't owe me

We do a lot of weird poo poo. We make a horrible Christmas album every yearish, for example.

https://saxmas.bandcamp.com/

There have also been goon meets where people gather for one reason or another. I've been to a couple at a nerd convention in Atlanta called dragoncon (not related to SA, just a bunch of us go there)

I think there are some goon meet horror stories about sex in the woods or something? I'm not aware of the full story.

:gooncamp:

I think this emote is supposed to be about that story? Someone will correct me surely.

# ¿ May 25, 2023 16:22

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Arsonists are like pedophiles but they want to gently caress fire instead of kids, and they will find a way to set poo poo on fire compulsively in my experience.

# ¿ May 25, 2023 17:15

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

harveys zoo zoos posted:

hey i wanted to ask ya;ll about an internet thing, instant messengers and chat rooms. we had some people come through that were in for computer crimes and some of them would talk about how they were caught by instant messenger or in a chat room.

i did a google for instant messenger but it looks like those aren't used anymore. so how do people communicate in real time on the internet or do you not do that anymore. my cousin said there's a chat thing that a lot of people use but i cant remember the name

i don't have restrictions on social media use but i really am not ready for that or even interested in it really. it looks dumb from what i've seen and i see on the news it can be really bad

Discord is probably most popular.
People also use slack. Probably some others but like I said earlier most groups and companies online have to a discord server, including something awful

The robot says I'm wrong about discord being most popular?

The most popular instant messaging apps as of January 2023, based on the number of monthly active users (in millions), are:

1. WhatsApp: 2,000 million
2. Weixin / WeChat: 1,309 million
3. Facebook Messenger: 931 million
4. Telegram: 700 million
5. Snapchat: 635 million
6. QQ: 574 million【7†source】.

# ¿ May 25, 2023 17:28

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

I mean, I assume there is still a SA discord. I haven't been on it in years

# ¿ May 25, 2023 17:40

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

On the subject of texting, you will probably find that people don't answer their phones anymore. House phones are almost exclusively used by the elderly, everyone else has a cell phone on them 24/7 but will be personally offended if you try and call them instead of texting unless it's an emergency or something.

It's worth at least having the conversation with any friends you make about their preferences. I haven't answered a phone call personally in like a decade.

# ¿ May 25, 2023 17:58

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

I bet somewhere people are betting actual money on professional wrestling despite being completely scripted.

# ¿ May 25, 2023 21:39

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Like mechanically? Are you asking how jerking off works?

Edit: yeah I read that wrong. That's on me.

# ¿ May 25, 2023 23:56

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

IANAL ((I am not a lawyer), but I also anal) but I would advise against making any confessions of your personal participation, however removed, in any violent crimes for which you haven't already been charged for the foreseeable future.

# ¿ May 26, 2023 21:40

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Jeez, over 200k views on Twitter already. How many active users does SA even have, like 8?

# ¿ May 27, 2023 03:31

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

"UFOs are real" is just objectively a dumb statement. Of course they are real, that just means there was something in the air they couldn't identify.

No even remotely reputable source anywhere actually thinks aliens are involved, which is the implication.

# ¿ May 27, 2023 07:05

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

I legitimately can't tell if that's brain damage or trolling, but :discourse:

# ¿ May 27, 2023 07:21

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

I don't know if OP anticipated millions of people were going to read his thread. Hopefully we haven't scared him off. You still with us Harvey?

# ¿ May 27, 2023 16:20

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Here's something you may have missed.

Anytime governments etc ask the public for names for things, it's become a thing for people to name them x McXface where x is the thing the object does or what it is.

Govt: Help us name our new street sweeper!

Everyone: Sweepy Mcsweepface

(This one just happened)

I've also seen boaty mcboatface, etc.

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/22/world/europe/boaty-mcboatface-what-you-get-when-you-let-the-internet-decide.html

# ¿ May 27, 2023 16:35

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Nobody tell him about firefly

# ¿ May 27, 2023 17:13

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

The internet fuckin loves cats.

# ¿ May 27, 2023 18:25

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Well, they are people so some of them are terrible because some people are terrible, but negativity towards them because of who they are is the mark of being terrible yourself.

# ¿ May 27, 2023 19:34

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

I just assumed most of us were on our phone by now, where the phone capitalizes whatever it deems appropriate.

# ¿ May 27, 2023 21:30

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Snopes is your friend.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/bonsai-kittens/

# ¿ May 28, 2023 01:06

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 12:28

Cousin Todd: Jul 3, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Wait, people are still using IRC?

He said he's getting a cat

# ¿ May 28, 2023 02:06

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > i'm an over 50 ex-con new to the internet. teach me your ways

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