i'm an over 50 ex-con new to the internet. teach me your ways

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > i'm an over 50 ex-con new to the internet. teach me your ways

Henry Lee Mucus: Dec 11, 2003

harveys zoo zoos posted:

yes i can

i killed my stepfather. he sexually abused my older sister for a long time. she didn't tell anyone for a long time because she was afraid of him. our mother divorced him for other reasons and then my sister told us what happened. she killed herself soon after. when i found out i planned to make him kill himself by hanging. i broke into his house and waited for him to come home. i had the noose ready and a gun. i held him at gunpoint and made him put the noose around his neck and told him i would kill him if he didnt kill himself. the rope broke and he fell and we fought so i had to shoot him. i buried him on a neighbor's farm but his body was found a month later. i made mistakes and they found out i did it.

Probably too late now, but you can use the internet to find the best quality rope for your murdering needs. Click here to find out more! https://www.gadgetreview.com/best-rope

# ¿ May 23, 2023 18:04

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 18:39

Henry Lee Mucus: Dec 11, 2003

Peggy Edson posted:

the gently caress is wrong with you?

The internet has revolutionized the entire shopping experience! Our murderous friend has paid his debt to society, so now it's time to rack up some debt in the name of Amazon.com, Inc.

# ¿ May 23, 2023 18:26

Henry Lee Mucus: Dec 11, 2003

I murdered an entire bucket of KFC at lunch and it only molested my sister a little tiny bit

# ¿ May 23, 2023 18:37

Henry Lee Mucus: Dec 11, 2003

If you don't want to buy an avatar you can always shank someone and take theirs

# ¿ May 23, 2023 19:55

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > i'm an over 50 ex-con new to the internet. teach me your ways