hot cocoa on the couch posted:

i pray to god every day i never encounter these terms used sincerely in my professional life

MuadDib Atreides posted:

How do you keep productive with dopamine on fleek at your engineering job hot cocoa on the clout? What does your project manager use to keep you from straying from the path?

MuadDib Atreides posted:

How do you keep productive with dopamine on fleek at your engineering job hot cocoa on the clout? What does your project manager use to keep you from straying from the path?

Saalkin posted:

Wtf is a scrum master

hot cocoa on the couch posted:

i've purposely stayed away from big design firms that have huge engineering depts with pms that freaking love poo poo like agile and six sigma or w/e the gently caress. seems liek cancer to me. anyone confirm?

Saalkin posted:

Wtf is a scrum master

Hyrax Attack! posted:

Last I checked my MegaCorp has a mix of 85 scrum masters & agile coaches. Far as I can tell they just meet with each other & management all day. Not too bad when I can avoid them, occasionally have to nod at manager saying we’re no longer Kanban, we’re Kanban lite as I continue doing my job exactly the same.

Smugworth posted:

YeahTubaMike posted:

Is this real?

Hyrax Attack! posted:

Last I checked my MegaCorp has a mix of 85 scrum masters & agile coaches. Far as I can tell they just meet with each other & management all day. Not too bad when I can avoid them, occasionally have to nod at manager saying we’re no longer Kanban, we’re Kanban lite as I continue doing my job exactly the same.

hot cocoa on the couch posted:

lol epic. wonder if maybe i'm in the wrong line of work and i should search for a scrum coach master job or w/e and jerk off all day instead of work

Smugworth posted:

You should get certified in Scaled Agile Framework (SAFe)

Smugworth posted:

You should get certified in Scaled Agile Framework (SAFe)

Dr. Quarex posted:

None of this is real

The Agile Manifesto posted:

Principles behind the Agile Manifesto


We follow these principles:
Our highest priority is to satisfy the customer
through early and continuous delivery
of valuable software.

Welcome changing requirements, even late in
development. Agile processes harness change for
the customer's competitive advantage.

Deliver working software frequently, from a
couple of weeks to a couple of months, with a
preference to the shorter timescale.

Business people and developers must work
together daily throughout the project.

Build projects around motivated individuals.
Give them the environment and support they need,
and trust them to get the job done.

The most efficient and effective method of
conveying information to and within a development
team is face-to-face conversation.

Working software is the primary measure of progress.

Agile processes promote sustainable development.
The sponsors, developers, and users should be able
to maintain a constant pace indefinitely.

Continuous attention to technical excellence
and good design enhances agility.

Simplicity--the art of maximizing the amount
of work not done--is essential.

The best architectures, requirements, and designs
emerge from self-organizing teams.

At regular intervals, the team reflects on how
to become more effective, then tunes and adjusts
its behavior accordingly.

Smugworth posted:

You should get certified in Scaled Agile Framework (SAFe)

hot cocoa on the couch posted:

what kind of tasks are you looking to streamline with tehese productivity tools op?

Smugworth posted:

The actual principles behind the agile (iterative) development process are really simple and easy to understand.

It's the companies who come in and dice everything into incomprehensible garbage and meningless rituals and process so they can charge for certifying agile coaches that don't understand that all that process is bullshit anyway that end up loving it all up

MuadDib Atreides posted:

Been thinking on this heavy...How do you stay productive to increase dopamine?