How Wonderful! posted:

Two Yobber Boys and two grey-forum mods walk into a bar and take a seat. Now the bartender as you can imagine raises an eyebrow right away. It's not every day you see grey forum mods tossing one back with some boys from the Yob, but business is business so he walks over and asks what he can get them.

"I'll have whatever's on tap and decent and cheap," says the first mod, and he looks a little down in the dumps, but what else is new? The bartender pours him a Yuengling and the mod nods in thanks and takes a nice big sip. The second mod thinks for a second and says, "I've been really enjoying saisons lately, but I'm also in the mood to be surprised. Do you have anything with a bit of a lambic twist, something a little fruity and playful?" The bartender thinks ah this guy knows his stuff, I bet he's the IK of the beer megathread. So he says, I've got something tucked away from l'ermitage that I think'll be right up your alley. And the mod takes a little sip and smiles happily and says thank you very much sir. Voted 5 on this drink.

Now the bartender starts to sweat because Yobber boys can get a little bit wacky. You never know what to expect from them. But he steels up his nerve and says to the first one, "and for you?" And the first Yobber boy looks at the draft list overhead and says "oh you know I'll have a negroni del Yob." At this point the bartender throws his little towel down and goes, "well what on EARTH?? A negroni del yob? I've never heard of such a thing. What's in it? Skittles? Fireworks? Good gravy man."

The Yobber boy chuckles and says, "No, no. A negroni del yob is a little Punt e Mes, a little Campari, just a little splash of mezcal, a little dash of orange bitters, some fresh grapefruit juice, top it all off with club soda and voila-- a negroni del yob!"

"I'll have one of those too," says the other Yobber boy, matter-of-factly.

The bartender scratches his head a bit and says, "Huh, that sounds just like a Paloma Point."

And the first Yobber boy says, "Yeah, they're really similar."

The bartender's relieved and as he's mixing up the drinks he says, "I gotta be honest, when you boys walked in I was a little nervous. You know you Yobber boys have a bit of a reputation, but you know, you're alright. No wonder these grey forum mods are out painting the town with two upstanding young gents like yourselves."

So then then the two Yobber boys look at each other, then look back at the bartender, and then the first one says. "Well that's all well and good, but I can't help but notice that you didn't ever ask the fifth member of our party for HER order?"

And the bartender is a little sheepish and looks up and down the bar but only sees the four guys in front of him. So he says, "Oh, who?"

And then SECOND Yobber boy reaches into his fanny-pack and produces a snail and plops her right down on the bar. And gang this snail is stacked, sexually speaking. And she says-- "just a ginger ale please, I'm driving."

And the bartender scratches his head again and says, "Wow, ok, so that's a fully sexual snail with... well... you're looking at 'em too, need I say more. But I gotta say,you're all making pretty reasonable requests. Even the snail is drinking responsibly!"

And the snail looks up at him with her little snail eyes and the straw for her ginger ale in her mouth and she says:

"Yeah well, buddy, we aren't allowed to joke anymore. A thread said so."